Loving Laney

by Evans, Harmony

  “When you didn’t text me back, I wasn’t sure you were going to see me,” he continued in a low voice, brushing his hands off on his jeans, as he kept his eyes on her.

  Laney tightened her grip on the reins, visibly annoyed. “I guess I don’t have much choice, do I?”

  Austin plastered what he thought was his sexiest smile on his face and leaned his elbow on the fence. “Nope.”

  He frowned when Laney gave no outward indication that his smile affected her. Maybe he could get through to her with the help of her four-legged friend.

  He nudged his chin in the direction of the horse at her side. “What’s her name?”

  Laney’s facial expression immediately softened. “Stella Rose,” she replied as she ran her fingers through the horse’s mane.

  He sauntered over and cautiously rubbed his hand over her glossy coat.

  “She’s a beauty,” he said admiringly, only half referring to the horse. As if on cue, Stella Rose bobbed her head up and down in agreement.

  Stella Rose tried to grab at the reins with her teeth. “And she knows it, too!” he chuckled.

  After a few seconds of Laney saying, “No, Stella,” and the horse refusing and playing tug-of-war instead, Laney gave up and undid the reins. Stella Rose trotted off to graze freely, leaving the two of them alone.

  Laney turned her back on him and walked away. Her long, slim legs dismissed and at the same time invited his gaze. They were meant to be worshipped, rather than clothed. He wanted to peel her skinny jeans off and taste her skin against his tongue, but he feared he would never get the chance again.

  She tossed the reins over the fence, and then leaned against it, crossing her booted feet at the ankles.

  “What do you want, Austin?” she said, regarding him impatiently. “I’m sure you didn’t come here to flirt with my horse.”

  He walked toward her and grinned, enjoying the way the wind played friskily in her hair, lifting the golden-brown strands here and there.

  “To tell you the truth, I’d much rather flirt with you. But I’m afraid you might hog-tie me and use me as bait for the coyotes.”

  Laney’s eyes narrowed, although he thought he detected the thrush of a smile upon her face. “That would be a waste of my time. They’d probably turn up their noses.”

  He chuckled again. “Oh, really? Why’s that?”

  She pursed her lips. “Because you’d come back to haunt them,” she retorted.

  The accusation hidden in her comment snagged him like a fishhook right in the gut. At that moment, he felt like an imposition, a bad memory on perpetual rewind, a mistake.

  Did she regret that night? Because he sure didn’t. But he wasn’t ready to tell her yet.

  He leaned his hip against the fence and sighed. “I’m not a ghost, Laney. I’m just a man who wants to do the right thing.”

  Her eyes found his, lit with some internal struggle, but then she quickly looked away with no response.

  Austin reached out and touched her face gently. “We have to talk about the baby,” he cajoled in a patient voice.

  Laney jerked away and set her mouth in a firm line. “There’s nothing to discuss. I’ve already made my point clear,” she insisted.

  Austin leaned in close, dropping his voice low. “And I told you that I could never accept not being a part of my child’s life.”

  Laney folded her arms and tilted her hips to the side.

  “I remember that. But remember this—you’re always away,” she accused. “And I think—”

  “But I’m here now,” he insisted firmly.

  Laney shook her head slowly, as if to imply that his answer wasn’t good enough.

  “How long will you be in Granger?” she said cautiously.

  “At least until the baby is born. Maybe longer. Once we settle on the terms of joint custody, I can plan my travel schedule around it.”

  She walked a few paces away and pivoted. “Austin, I don’t want my child traipsing around the world like some stowaway.”

  He held up both hands, trying to reassure her. “I promise I won’t take our child anywhere without checking with you first,” he emphasized.

  “I appreciate that,” she replied flatly. “But have you given any thought as to what kind of father you would be?”

  Her words, flung as knives, sliced at his heart. They felt like a condemnation and gave new life to his own doubts.

  He jammed his hands into his pockets. “Dammit, Laney!” he said curtly. “At least I wouldn’t be like him!”

  Laney stared at him. “What are you talking about?” she asked, her tone more subdued.

  “My old man.” He snorted. “He never had time for me. Always traveling and cutting his next oil deal. But he always had time to miss out on everything that was important to me.”

  Austin glanced up at the sky, as painful childhood memories whirled through his mind like a tornado. He wished he could wipe them away so that his mind was as clear and cloudless as the sky above him, but knew that was impossible.

  Birthdays had been the worst. Never knowing whether his father would be there to help him blow out the candles. He’d stopped believing his wish would come true a long time ago. By the time Austin was a teenager, he’d realized that his father would always love money more than he loved him.

  “I’m going to do everything in my power to be different. I want my son or daughter to know that I value them over everything.”

  When Laney didn’t respond, Austin leaned against the fence so hard that the wood made a loud cracking sound.

  He’d just poured out his heart, at least a little bit, and now he felt like a fool.

  “You don’t know anything about me, other than what you see now,” he grit out low, avoiding her eyes. He was angry at himself for saying more than he should, and for thinking that Laney cared.

  “And you don’t know anything about me, either,” she shot back.

  Austin arched a brow, surprised at her tone, and he wondered if his comments had triggered some kind of unwanted memory.

  He watched her dig a small hole in the ground with the edge of one heel. Her head was bent, her hair covering her face like a shroud.

  “Then why don’t we stop arguing and get to know each other?”

  At his words, her head snapped up. Their eyes met and he drew in a breath. His heart felt raked over and raw. But something glowed hot between them. Embers of passion sparked under the ash of frustration and he felt himself harden. Never before had he wanted someone so much.

  She tucked her hair behind her ear, with one hand and then the other.

  “Because—” Laney paused, her eyes still on his, and in them, he saw an emotion that he recognized in himself, but wasn’t often willing to admit.

  She was afraid.

  The wood creaked loudly as he pushed himself off the fence.

  He stood in front of her, and he was oddly relieved when she remained in place.

  The wind whipped some of her hair in front of her face, and he yearned to grasp its length in his hands.

  Austin swallowed hard, pushing his need to touch her aside. “Look. I won’t get in the way of your life. I just want to be involved with the baby. It’s important.”

  As soon as he uttered those words, they seemed to hang in the air, suspended like the droplets of a promise that could evaporate any moment.

  But he meant every single word.

  Being a father meant more than just siring an offspring. It was an opportunity to take care of someone other than himself.

  If only Laney would let him.

  Austin racked his brain, trying to think of some way to reason with her, when right beside him he heard the distinct sound of chewing.

  Suddenly he had an idea.

  “Looks
like we have some company. Let’s see what Stella Rose thinks, shall we?” He slid one hand into his front pocket. “Hey, girl, do you want me to stay in Granger?”

  Stella’s ears pricked back and forth. She chewed for a few seconds, as if considering his question, and whinnied.

  Austin pumped his fist. “I’ll take that as a yes!”

  Stella Rose nuzzled at his hand.

  “See, Laney? She agrees. I think she likes me.”

  Laney rolled her eyes. “That’s because you slipped her a sugar cube,” she accused, pointing at him.

  At the light-hearted tone in her voice, Austin took a chance and quickly slipped his arm around Laney’s thin waist, pulling her to him.

  “How could I have done that?” he said low. “When all the sugar in the world is right here in my arms?”

  Laney didn’t say anything, but he felt her lean against him and he gently pulled her to him even closer. He took a section of her hair and smoothed it back over her shoulder.

  “You know, Laney, I may not know your favorite color or your favorite food, but I do know the way you like to be kissed.”

  Before she could say another word, Austin tilted her chin up, bent down and brushed his lips over hers almost tentatively, curious to see if they felt the same as he remembered.

  They were soft, pliable, but he felt something different, too. They felt like they belonged to him, and he drew her bottom lip into his mouth and sucked gently. She tasted different, too, like sun rays that couldn’t be harnessed, but could burn you if you got too close. She uttered a faint moan and that was all he needed to hear. He knew she felt it, too.

  Her abdomen pressed against his, somewhat awkwardly. It felt slightly rounded, like a balloon that wasn’t yet fully inflated, and he was gravely aware that their child lay nestled between them. It made him feel even closer to her, and even more protective.

  Austin broke away from Laney quickly, breathing hard, struggling to blot away the sudden images of her naked in his arms.

  He knew he would never be content with just kissing her, but he had to move slowly. He waited until he had control of his voice, and then spoke casually, as if the kiss had never happened.

  “When is your next doctor appointment?”

  She gave him a curious look, and then walked over to Stella Rose, as if she were trying to distance herself, too.

  “The day after tomorrow.”

  “Who’s driving you?”

  She looked at him like he was crazy. “I’m driving myself, Austin. I’m not an invalid.”

  “Correction, darling—I’m driving you.”

  She started to protest, but he walked over and laid a finger upon her lips to quiet her.

  “Get used to me being around, Laney. Trust me, it’ll make things easier for both of us.”

  He tipped his hat and as he strode away, he knew his words were a lie. By kissing Laney again, he’d just made it even harder not to fall in love with her.

  Chapter 5

  Laney slipped into her leather jacket and half jogged to the paddock, hoping to spend a few minutes with Stella Rose before Austin picked her up. Although he’d insisted on driving her to her prenatal checkup, she still wasn’t sure if she wanted him to be so involved in her life.

  She let her knapsack fall to the ground and sighed. All around the ranch, the dirt was heavily pocked by cowboy boots, horses’ hooves and good old-fashioned time. When it rained, it was easy to step in a puddle and when it was dry, well, it was even easier to trip or twist an ankle.

  She made a mental note to speak to Trey about getting the worst portions backfilled and raked with new soil. Making her home child-friendly required a bit more than just locks on the bottom kitchen cabinets.

  She pushed open the arena gate, which was easier to operate now. Yesterday, Austin had surprised her by replacing the rusty latch with a brand-new one. He claimed that he’d read a blog article that said rust could be dangerous to the baby.

  The suggestion about backfilling the ranch grounds had also been his idea, just one thing on his list to try to make Laney’s home safer for the baby.

  The man was full of surprises lately. Over the past several days, he’d also brought her roses, which had promptly made her sneeze, hired a prenatal massage therapist to knead her sore muscles into submission and had his own personal chef in Dallas create a special daily menu that would ensure both mother and child were eating healthy.

  Laney closed the gate, not bothering to hide the smile that lit upon her face.

  Austin was beginning to leave his imprint on her life, just as he did on her lips.

  How can a kiss that only lasted a few moments still resonate with me days later? she thought as she walked through the ankle-high prairie grass.

  She wondered if he was going to kiss her today. She hoped he would, but he seemed to be keeping a polite distance.

  Laney squeezed her hand into the front pocket of her new maternity jeans, which she needed for the first time today, and drew out a couple of sugar cubes.

  “Stella Rose, I think I’m in trouble!” she announced.

  Her beloved horse’s ears pricked forward. Laney laughed as Stella Rose briefly nuzzled her palm and then proceeded to gobble up the treat.

  “You don’t care, do you? As long as I keep giving you your treats,” she murmured, fingering her horse’s silky mane.

  Laney heard a car honk, turned and spotted her mother’s bright red convertible making its way up her driveway, with Brooke in the passenger seat. She gave Stella Rose one last sugar cube just as Gwen leaned out of her window.

  “Are you still spoiling her?” her mother admonished in a teasing voice. “Wasn’t a gold medal around her neck enough?”

  “Since I can’t ride her now, I want to show her how much I love her. Besides, she can’t eat a medal!”

  “True enough.” Gwen laughed. “How are you feeling?”

  Laney shrugged. “Okay, I guess. A little tired in the mornings, but no more sleeping with my cheek pressed to the bathroom floor.”

  Brooke grimaced. “When I get pregnant, which—” she shot her mother-in-law a warning look “—won’t be for a long time, I am so not looking forward to all the icky stuff that goes along with it.”

  Gwen waved Brooke’s comment away as she stepped out of the car. “Nonsense. God’s just getting a woman ready for the greatest job on earth. There’s nothing icky about that!”

  Laney grinned and leaned into her mother’s embrace, wondering how she always managed to be so optimistic about every situation. It was almost as if she had never experienced any pain at all. She knew that had to be impossible. But Gwen had never been anything but an unwavering pillar of strength that the entire Broward family relied upon. And Laney needed her mother more than ever now.

  Brooke got out of the car and reached into the backseat. “I made you an apple pie,” she announced.

  She walked over and tried to thrust it into Laney’s hands.

  Laney’s eyes widened and she inhaled the delicious aroma. “Thank you,” she said, giving Brooke a quick hug. “That was so kind of you. I’m on my way out. Could you put it in the kitchen for me?”

  Gwen waited until Brooke was out of earshot. “You look a lot happier than when I first saw you,” she remarked. “Did you talk to Austin?”

  “Yes,” Laney said, slightly evasive.

  “And?” said her mother. “Don’t keep me hanging like somebody’s drawers on a clothesline. I’m your mother, remember?”

  Laney laughed out loud. “We’re trying to work together.”

  Gwen gave her a smothering hug. “I’m so glad. Did he say how long he was staying in town?”

  Laney shook her head against Gwen’s neck. She didn’t want to tell her that Austin had said he was going to stay until the
baby was born. In her heart, she didn’t believe he was going to stick around that long.

  At some point, Laney feared that Austin would get bored by the small town of Granger, the prospect of being a father and most of all, her.

  If Gwen was disappointed by her answer, she didn’t show it. Instead, she held her daughter at arm’s length.

  “You look beautiful today. We came here to see if you wanted to have breakfast, but it sounds like you have other plans. Where are you headed?”

  “To the doctor.”

  Laney watched her mother’s eyes transition from admiration to concern. “It’s nothing to worry about,” she said hastily. “It’s just time for my monthly checkup. Austin is taking me.”

  Gwen raised a brow. “That’s good. I see he’s already taking responsibility for the child, and you. He’s a good man, Laney.”

  I don’t know if he’s a good man, but he’s a great kisser and a whole lot more, Laney thought. But she wasn’t about to tell that to her mother.

  “So you’ll give me a rain check on breakfast?” Gwen asked.

  Laney nodded, just as Brooke walked up to them.

  “Laney, you’re not coming with us?”

  “No. She has a doctor’s appointment,” her mother interjected, “and a date with Austin.”

  “Mom. It’s not a date,” Laney protested, even though a part of her wished that it was.

  She and Austin had made a grand-slam home run, more than a few times, before actually walking the bases. Nothing had happened in the proper order. Everything about their so-called relationship was backward, and at this point, she wasn’t even sure she could rightfully call him a friend.

  Although she knew he loved it when she played with the hair on his chest. And that he liked to nuzzle at the insides of her elbows. And when he climaxed, he breathed her name into her ear over and over again like it was his lifeline to another world.

  And she knew that she wanted to be his connection to something unexplained, to be his ultimate pleasure, intertwined together, for better or for worse.

  The problem was that it was all wrong. They were all wrong. Wrong timing. Wrong order and, possibly, the wrong man.