by J. E. Parker
“Care to repeat that?”
The man—what the hell is his name?—didn’t flinch as I closed the space between us. He had balls; I’d give him that. Lucca babbled beside me, and I instinctively laid my hand on his back. “I don’t know who you are, but I suggest you watch your mouth from this moment forward. If you don’t, there will be consequences.”
The asshole smirked. “Yeah?” He tilted his chin up. “And just what are you going to do about it?” He was challenging me
Shelby chose that moment to jump up from the booth and shove herself between us. “He won't do a damn thing.” She rammed her elbow into my gut, forcing me to take a step back. “But I sure as hell will.” Flicking her long, golden hair over one shoulder, she stood straight and stared up at the man who towered over her. “You keep running your mouth to me, Hendrix Cole, and I swear to God I will neuter you with a dull knife and rusty pair of pliers.” He and I both cringed. “We clear?”
Maddie chose that moment to round the corner. “Oooh, what did I miss?” She asked in a chipper tone as she ducked under Hendrix’s arm and leaned against his side. “No, wait. Let me guess.” She looked from Shelby to me. “Handsome,” she pointed at Hendrix, “is acting like the big brother Shelby never had, isn’t he?” She smacked him playfully on the chest. “I told you to knock that crap off. In case you haven’t noticed, she’s plenty capable of taking care of herself.”
Shelby smirked and crossed her arms over her chest.
Lucca threw his lemon slice down on the ground. “Mad Mad!” He yelled, reaching for Maddie. “Up!”
Hendrix lifted Lucca from the high chair. “Sit down, pretty girl, and I’ll sit him beside you. He’s too big for you to lift.”
Maddie sat down at the booth we’d just stood from, and Hendrix placed Lucca on the bench beside her. “Hey, sweet pea.” Leaning over, she kissed him on the top of the head. “I missed you so much.”
Maddie looked up at Shelby. “Ya know what? I’ve got a great idea.”
Shelby’s face dropped before replying, “Last time you had a great idea I almost went to jail!”
Now, this is a story I need to hear.
Maddie rolled her eyes. “You’re never going to let that go are you?” Before Shelby could reply, she continued with, “why don’t you let me and Hendrix keep Lucca tonight? That way you and Anthony can spend some more quiet time together.” She glanced down at Lucca. “Besides, I figure we need all the practice we can get before our little munchkin is born.”
“Not tonight, Mads,” Shelby replied quickly. “I don’t need quiet time, and I don’t need—”
“Sure, ya do,” another familiar voice spoke from behind Maddie. Stepping up next to Hendrix, Grandmama of all people, smiled. “Now just agree to let Lucca spend the night with his Aunt Maddie, and nobody will have to get hurt.”
I glared down at the woman who wasn’t paying me a bit of attention. “What? You didn’t bring your gun this time?”
Her eyes snapped to meet mine. “Great,” she huffed. “Another smartass.”
Shelby threw her arms up in the air. “For Pete’s sake, people! We are standing in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Everybody,” she pointed around the room, “is looking at us. Either sit down or move outside. I hate being the center of attention.”
Moving over to the booth, Grandmama grabbed Shelby’s purse from the table. “Good idea,” she said, shoving the black bag into Shelby’s chest. “Time for you to go.”
“What?” Shelby asked, clearly confused.
Grandmama pointed at me. “You heard me. It’s time for you and Anthony to head home. Maddie is going to take Lucca for the night, and I’ll take him to daycare in the morning.” Shelby opened her mouth—no doubt to argue—but snapped it shut when Grandmama jabbed a withered finger into her chest. “Shelby Ray Mason, I’m telling you right now, if you start arguing with me, I will take a hickory switch to your behind.” Her tone left no room for argument.
Silence ensued.
“Sweetheart, you need a break. All you do is work, study, and take care of Lucca. It’s time for you to relax a little. Y’all go rent a movie or something and go home.” Her eyes narrowed. “Why did y’all come out for dinner anyway? I fried enough chicken to last a week. What happened to it?”
Shelby smiled, and I knew she was about to toss me under the bus.
I grabbed her arm and tugged her into my side.
She yelped at the sudden move, and Lucca giggled.
Guess he’s okay with me touching his Mama now.
“Time for us to go, baby,” I pulled her into my side, “tell everyone good-bye.”
Shelby scowled at me and mumbled something I couldn’t decipher under her breath. Stepping forward, she lifted Lucca up and hugged him to her chest. “Do you want to stay with Aunt Mad Mad, and Uncle Henny tonight, little man?”
Lucca nodded frantically. “Un-ka Henny!”
Shelby sighed, closed her eyes, and pressed her face to the side of his head. “Fine, but you owe me extra cuddles tomorrow. Squeezing him one last time she kissed him on his cheek. “Love you, sweet boy. More than you’ll ever know.”
Maddie wrapped an arm around Lucca when Shelby sat him back down. “Bye, Shelby,” she said, smiling. “You have the day off tomorrow so make sure you call me. I need to know you’re alright, crazy.”
Shelby raised a shaky hand and blew Maddie and Lucca both a kiss. “Love you, guys.”
Maddie blew a kiss right back. “Love you more.”
Turning to the side, Shelby gave Grandmama a quick hug. “Love you too, you crazy old biddy. Even if I do feel like whacking you upside the head with a shovel most of the time.”
Grandmama chuckled and planted a kiss on Shelby’s cheek. “Be safe, sweetheart. Call me before you go to bed. And remember, I’m right across the street. If he tries anything funny just holler. I may be old, but I’m still a hell of a shot.”
Next, Hendrix wrapped a lock of Shelby’s hair around his finger. “Be good, brat.” He pulled her into his arms and hugged her tight.
I was surprised when Shelby didn’t punch him. I didn’t understand their relationship, but it was obvious they cared about each other.
Hugging him in return, Shelby whispered, “take care of them for me.”
Hendrix nodded. “Always, blondie.”
Stepping back, she looked up at me. “Ready to take me home?”
I had zero intentions of taking her to her duplex. The only place she was going was to my house. “Let’s go, baby.”
With trepidation swirling in her eyes, Shelby moved toward the door.
“Bye, Anthony,” Maddie said, waving a hand in the air.
I waved right back. “Yeah, see ya.”
Shelby and I both walked out the door.
20
Shelby
I was standing in front of the French doors connected to Anthony’s living room when he stepped up behind me and circled his arms around my waist. He pressed his face against the side of my neck, and I couldn’t help but sigh in contentment.
Me, of all people, sighed in contentment.
Hell has surely frozen over.
Leaning back against him, I continued to stare out the glass. “It physically hurts not to have him with us.”
It was the truth. I felt empty without Lucca, and it made my chest ache.
Even though I knew he was in good hands with Maddie and Hendrix, that didn’t stop my heart from aching. It was hard enough leaving him at daycare five days a week. Not having him within arm’s reach when I wasn’t at work was gut-wrenching
Anthony smiled against my throat. “Us, huh?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, us. Since you’ve basically kidnapped me I suppose it’s only right for you to be included too.”
After leaving the restaurant, I asked Anthony to take me home. He’d refused, saying that he didn’t want me to be alone. I told him I’d be fine, but he wouldn’t listen. I swear the man was more stubborn than an ornery old bill
y goat. I even kicked up a fuss about not being able to cook Felix supper, but even that didn’t change his mind.
Instead, he’d swung through a drive-thru and drove me to my house.
But did he let me stay? Nope!
After giving Felix the fast food bag, he pointed at my duplex and told me to go inside and pack some clothes. I stomped my foot and threw a tantrum like a two-year-old, but it didn’t affect him. Wearing a cocky smirk on his handsome face, he walked by me and went into the house. Ten minutes later he emerged with two duffle bags full of clothes. One for me and one for Lucca. He’d also found a couple of recycled grocery bags and filled them with every toiletry he could find. Toothbrushes, mouthwash, hair brush, deodorant—you name it, he’d packed it. The doofus even found my tampons and stuffed them in one of the bags.
The man was crazy!
Still, I liked his brand of crazy. Even if I’d never admit it.
With a promise to bring Felix supper the following day, we headed back to his house, a week’s worth of clothing in tow. Grandmama had just pulled into her driveway when we pulled into Anthony’s.
When I climbed out of the Tahoe, I waved in her direction.
She simply smiled in return.
Taking my hand in his, Anthony lead me to the house. Once we were on the front porch, Grandmama hollered out from across the street. “Break that bone, sweetheart!”
My stomach twisted at her words. I’d been terrified that Anthony would ask what she was talking about, but he didn’t. Instead, he’d looked down at me with knowing eyes. I didn’t like it, but Anthony could see straight through me. He knew I had secrets. Yet, he still wanted me. I didn’t understand it. If I thought someone wasn't straight with me or if I felt like they were trying to keep me at a distance, I’d walk away. Not Anthony, though. With him it seemed like the harder I tried to push him away, the harder he pushed back.
The man is more stubborn than a damn mule.
Raising his hand, Anthony ran his thumb along the line of my jaw before dipping his head and pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “Whenever you’re ready, sunshine.”
I’d dang near melted on the spot.
“I’m sure Lucca’s having a good time,” he whispered in my ear, bringing me back to the present.
“I don’t doubt it. I’m sure he’s on his third bowl of ice cream and second episode of American Ninja Warrior by now.”
Hendrix was obsessed with ANW, and he’d gotten Lucca hooked on it too.
Anthony chuckled. Spinning me around, he wrapped his arms around my back and rested his forehead against mine. “Question is, what do we do now?”
Grandmama’s words repeated in my head.
Break that bone, break that bone, break that bone!
At that moment, I had a decision to make. I either needed to tell Anthony the truth about my past or I needed to walk away for good. Standing at a proverbial crossroads, I was being forced to choose which direction to take, knowing full well that both choices would change my future and reshape my destiny. The only problem was, I didn’t know which way to go. Both options terrified me, one more so than the other.
Time to shit or get off the pot, Shelby.
Taking a deep, steadying breath, I slid my arms around Anthony’s neck and tangled my fingers in his hair. “Now,” I paused for emphasis, “we talk.”
You can do this.
Eyes locked on my face, he pulled me closer. “Then talk, gorgeous.” His warmth washed over me, and his scent flooded my lungs, making my head feel funny.
I tilted my head back. “I need you to promise me something first.”
“Anything,” he replied softly. “Whatever you need, Shelby.”
The way he spoke my name in that deeply accented voice of his made chills race down my spine. I looked up at him. “I need you to promise that you won’t say anything. Not until I’m done speaking.” My arms flexed and I fought the urge to rip myself away from him and hide. The desire to shut down was overwhelming.
You’re stronger than this, Shelby.
Fight the darkness…
“I won’t say a word.” His lips met the apple of my right cheek. “Not until you’re done.”
Pressure began to build in my chest. “You already know I didn’t have a good childhood.”
He nodded, remaining silent.
“What you don’t know is how dang awful it was.”
My eyes slid closed as shame washed over me.
“My daddy split before I was born.”
The worthless bastard.
“I lived with my mama in a one bedroom single wide on the outskirts of town. The trailer’s roof leaked, there were holes in the walls, and we didn’t have heat or AC. The place was overrun with roaches, and at night you’d hear field rats burrowing in the walls, making nests in the insulation.”
To this day, rats still terrify me.
“We didn’t have running water or electricity half the time. Mama had more important things to do with her money than pay the bills or buy groceries.”
Stupid bitch.
If she were standing in front of me right then, I’d have strangled her.
“I already told you that we didn’t have much food but what I didn’t tell you is that we never had food. The church only came around once a month, and Mama would trade most of what they gave us for beer or cigarettes. That was after she sold all of the food stamps the county gave her.”
Anthony tensed, but he didn’t say anything.
“I got free breakfast and lunch at school so that helped but during the weekends and summers…” My voice trailed off as phantom hunger pains caused my belly to twist in agony. I remembered the feeling of starving and going days without food all too well. “I begged a lot. We had this neighbor, Mrs. Higgins, that lived about half a mile down the road. She’d give me leftovers sometimes, but it was barely enough to keep a bird alive, much less a growing child.”
Keep talking…
“As I got older, things got worse. When I was fourteen, I got expelled from school for fighting. I always had a temper, and the worse things got at home, the harder it became for me to control it.”
Anthony chuckled under his breath.
“This kid, Nick… he was the quarterback for our high school football team. He touched me inappropriately one day so I smashed my Biology book into his face a couple of times. I broke his nose, busted his bottom lip, and blacked both his eyes. The bastard couldn’t play in that weeks game, and I was punished for it.”
I bit my tongue as rage began to consume me.
“Didn’t matter what he’d done to me, or that he’d grabbed my breasts and called me vile names in front of half the school, all that mattered was that I’d busted up his face enough to have him sidelined.”
“After that, things snowballed. Mama went from turning tricks at a local motel to working out of the house. Men were always coming and going.” My skin prickled; goosebumps spread across my arms and down the length of my spine. “Wasn’t long before they started noticing me.”
Anthony’s arms tightened around my back.
Needing to be closer to him, I laid my head on his chest.
“When I was sixteen, one of Mama’s dealers propositioned me. I told him no, but he didn’t listen. The night after I turned him down, he told Mama that he’d give her a hundred bucks worth of dope for free if he could take me in the back bedroom for an hour.”
Anthony froze, every muscle in his body tensed.
“Mama had never been good to me, but she’d never physically hurt me. Neglected me, yes, but she’d never… I mean, she’d never hit me or anything. I didn’t think…” I shook my head. Angry tears blurred my vision. “Until that day, I thought that maybe a small part of her loved me. I thought maybe she—”
Fresh pain sliced through me and I lost the ability to breathe.
I tried to take a step back, but Anthony wouldn’t let me. “Drop your arms, sugar,” I said, pushing against his chest. “I need some space.”
> Hesitantly, he removed his arms from my waist. I turned around and walked over to the French doors and pressed my cheek against the cool glass. “Mama agreed.”
Anthony sucked in a breath.
“She fricken agreed.” A whole lot of hurt bubbled up inside of me. “She sold me, her own fucking daughter, for a hundred bucks worth of dope!”
It was at that moment that I’d known, she’d never loved me.
“Her dealer tossed a little baggie at her, and she immediately tore it open. Pointing at the back bedroom, she’d said, ‘take her back there.’ She never even looked up from her homemade crack pipe to see how terrified I was. When the man turned towards me, a dirty smile plastered on his face, I made a run for it.”
I ran faster than I’d ever run in my life.
“Even barefoot and half starved, I was fast. He never stood a chance at catching me.” Behind me, Anthony exhaled in what I assumed was relief. “I didn’t go home until the next morning.” I blew out a shaky breath. “The sun had just risen when I made it back to the trailer.”
I should’ve never gone back.
“Mama was sitting on the couch waiting for me. Her bottom lip was busted, and her right eye was blacked. It was clear as day that somebody had thrown her a beating and I had a pretty good idea who.”
I shook my head back and forth before burying my hands in my hair.
“When she saw it was me who’d come through the door, she jumped off the couch and charged me. At first, I just stood there taking the hits. I was in shock. Mama was a piece of shit, but she’d never beat me.” I paused for a minute, needing to catch my breath. “But when she called me a whore, I lost it. I was sixteen, still a virgin. Hell, the furthest I’d gone with a boy at that point was first base.” Anthony’s eyes met mine. “Tony, you’ve got to believe me—I never would’ve hit her; never would’ve hurt her but when she said that, something inside of me snapped.”
I spun around and cupped my elbows in my hands.
“I beat the shit out of her. Blacked her other eye and cracked a few of her ribs. It was ugly.” Anthony stayed silent. “It was like sixteen years worth of hate boiled to the surface and the only way I could release it was with my fists. Hit after hit, kick after kick, I repaid her for all the harm she’d caused me since the day I was born.”