His Secrets

by Bishop, K. M.

  “No,” I said. “I’ve never thought about that. I know that Blake would freak out if I even suggested such a thing.”

  “Wow, I didn’t realize you were so straight laced nowadays,” Donna teased. No one on earth knew how to get under my skin the way she did when she wanted to.

  I wasn’t taking the bait, though. “Call me what you want, but I’m fine. I was excited to be marrying the love of my life and I’m perfectly happy with never being with another man again.”

  “Whoa…that is heavy…” Donna teased. “But seriously, we are all thrilled for you. Blake is awesome.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “And he is rich as hell!” Amy shouted.

  I groaned. “I knew one of you would mention that. It is such a weird stigma that you can’t be in love with a man who happens to have a lot of money. That it’s got to be about the money. Well, I have news for you—I would love Blake if he lost every penny tomorrow. It means nothing to me. I have my own career ambitions and goals I’m working towards. So, there.”

  “You know we are messing with you,” Tori said. “We know you aren’t one of those girls. But you know that people are going to say it; that is something you’ll have to get used to. It’s just jealousy.”

  I knew it, but it still got under my skin.

  “So, are you finally going to get to meet his family?” Donna asked.

  I shrugged. “I was hoping to at graduation, but so far that isn’t happening. They are a lot like Blake; they work all the time, apparently. I can’t knock them for that.”

  “Yeah, that’s too bad, but you guys have been together for a long time,” Tori said. “I think you would have met his folks by now.”

  I was getting annoyed, but the questions were valid. “I don’t know. I guess it will happen when it does.”

  There were a few moments of silence as the others looked at each other, then down at the ground. It was awkward. I could practically hear the loud collective thoughts swirling around in their heads. I was thinking the same thing. I tried to bury it so far in my mind that it didn’t seem like a current concern, but it still bothered me.

  “It doesn’t bug you?” Donna prodded. Out of all my friends, she was by far the most straight forward. She was so upfront that some people found it annoying at times. I usually saw it as endearing, until she was using that strategy against me.

  “Of course it does,” I said. “But I love Blake and I’m not going to let this become a serious issue. Besides, odds are that I’ll hate his parents, they will hate me, and they will hate my parents, too. Isn’t that how it is supposed to be?”

  “That’s what I’ve heard,” Amy said. “But you can always hope to break that stereotype. Is that the right word? Stereotype? Or is it a cliché? I always get those confused.”

  “I’m not sure it matters,” I said with a grin. The things that Amy got hung up about sometimes were hilarious. She could stop right in the middle of a point and lose it entirely because something else diverted her attention. I was glad that she would never become an air traffic controller.

  “What do you think he is hiding?” Donna asked. She was leaning back in her lounge chair with a look on her face that said she was contemplating some scheme like a supervillain.

  I shook my head. “I don’t think he’s hiding anything.”

  “Of course he’s hiding something,” Donna replied quickly. “Why else would he make you wait this long to meet his parents?”

  “I told you; they are busy and the timing has never been right.”

  The moment I said it again out loud, I could hear how it sounded and I knew where my friends were coming from. Honestly, it was the same place that I was. I’d thought all this through at length over the past few months. I didn’t want to admit it to myself, but it was bothering me that Blake hadn’t introduced me to his parents yet. And I was worried.

  I wasn’t sure what I was worried about though. Maybe deep down I figured that if he didn’t want me to meet his parents than it wasn’t nearly as serious as I thought it was. But then why would he propose?

  I shook my head and tried to clear my mind. Why was I doing this to myself? I was letting all these negative thoughts get into my brain and it wasn’t doing me any favors. It was just making me paranoid. I had to relax. Everything would be ok. I was letting my friends and my own insecurities get to me.

  I took another sip of my beer and tried to shut out the noise, but my friends were enjoying the conversation.

  “Maybe they are in the witness protection program,” Tori suggested.

  “That would make so much sense,” Amy replied.

  I was laughing. This was getting weird. “What are you guys talking about? This is crazy. They aren’t in the witness protection program.”

  “How would you know?” Donna asked. “If they were, do you really think that Blake would tell you? Speaking of which, where is he? I thought you said he would be here today? I would love to grill him on some of these questions and see how he reacts.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you would,” I said. “He is coming. He had some work to do. But I want you all to be mindful of the fact that we are getting married. When you do see him, there will be no grilling him on the parent thing. Do I make myself clear?”

  Donna nodded. “Yes, mom.”

  I raised my eyebrow at her sarcasm and then we both shared a laugh. I knew that my friends meant well, and they were mostly playing around, but they were raising some valid points. This was not a new topic.

  But now, it was different. Blake and I were going to be husband and wife. How long did he think he might be able to keep any secrets he was hiding from me?

  I had to laugh at myself. Secrets? Did I really think that Blake was keeping any secrets from me? Of course not. But still, it never hurt to keep your eyes wide open.

  I went to the restroom and when I returned Donna pulled me aside and we had some one on one time. I loved all our friends, but Donna and I really were like sisters. There was no one in the world that I probably trusted more than her, besides my own mother of course.

  “Hey, are you ok?” Donna asked. “You know we were just playing around. Blake is one of the good ones. I can tell. I’ve been with enough of the bad ones…”

  I laughed. “Yeah. I know. Thanks. But there is something to it. I worry about what he might be keeping from me. I mean, how well do you really know anybody, right?”

  “Those pre wedding jitters are already getting to you. Have you even set a date yet?”

  “No.”

  “Then what are you worried about? Nothing is final until you say ‘I do’,” Donna said. “So, if something comes

  to light you can always back out.”

  “I know, but I don’t want anything to go wrong. I have this image in my mind of the perfect wedding and the perfect life. I am so scared that something will come along out of thin air and take that away from me. I mean it. I’m freaking out.”

  Donna pulled me close and hugged me. “Hey, you are one of the smartest and strongest people I know. If there is something wrong, you would know about it. And I’m sure that whatever comes your way in life, you are more than capable of handling it, no matter how scared you might be.”

  “Thanks,” I said. “You are a great friend.”

  “I know that,” Donna teased. “Kind of the type of great friend you would want to be your maid of honor?”

  I laughed. “You might very well be…”

  “For real?”

  “I’m not making any promises, yet,” I said. “But you are looking good so far.”

  Donna smiled and walked back to join Tori and Amy.

  I was lucky to have such a great group of friends. I really was.

  Blake arrived about twenty minutes later. He was wearing a tank top, a pair of shorts with sneakers, but no socks. If I didn’t know him, I would have sworn he was some out of work actor who had just taken up surfing or had decided to seek his fortune as a beach bum.

  As soon
as he saw me, he kissed me and pulled me close. It felt good to have him near me, to hear him, and to just know that he was really there. I’d missed him terribly today.

  “How’s my babe?” Blake asked me softly.

  “I’m good,” I said. “I missed you. I was wondering when you were going to get here.”

  “Yeah, the meeting ran a bit longer than anticipated. Sorry,” Blake said.

  “How’s everything going with your family? Their trip and everything?”

  He seemed caught off guard for a moment, but then quickly answered. “Oh, yeah. They are fine, I guess. I haven’t really spoken to them since they left.”

  I wondered if I could pull up some information online and see if Blake was telling me the truth about his parents…

  But what kind of a cretin would that make me? Why in the world would I ever take advantage of his trust like that? It was just not me. I needed to believe him and to know that things would be revealed in time. There was nothing going on. I was inventing problems in my own hyperactive imagination. I was too creative for my own good sometimes.

  “Ah, ok,” I said. “You want a beer?”

  “Sure,” Blake replied. He grabbed a beer from the bar and then walked back over to where I was sitting with my friends. He popped the top and took a long swig. My eyes glided over his muscular form. Even in clothes I could practically make out every single striation and cut. Blake worked out every morning for about two hours. I loved to watch him lift. Sometimes I joined him for a bit of the workout and sometimes I just joined him for the shower afterwards.

  “Hey, Blake,” Donna said. Her eyes caught mine and I’m sure she could hear me silently pleading with her not to mention Blake’s parents. “Congratulations on the engagement.”

  “Ah, thanks so much,” Blake said.

  They all raised their glasses and did a small cheer. Blake drank along with them and then shot me a smile. He was still getting used to my friends, even though we’d hung out several times all together. They’d been total strangers to him when we had first started dating, and even though now he knew them a bit, there was still a little bit of odd tension when we were together. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if it was mostly them, Blake, or me. But I could feel it all around, as if I could have cut the tension with a knife.

  I hoped it would get better with time.

  Blake sat down his beer and removed his shirt and shorts. He was now wearing a tight pair of speedos only. I’d seen him naked probably a hundred times or more by this point, but every single time my own jaw still dropped at the physical specimen that stood before me. I could feel the same feeling rushing from the gaping jaws of my best friends as Blake shot us a little smile and then hopped into the pool’s deep end.

  He went below the water and swam around for a long while.

  “Damn…” Donna said. “That is fine.”

  “Oh, I know,” I replied with a smile.

  I jumped into the water and swam over to greet Blake when he surfaced. We found our own little quiet corner of the pool to hang out and swim together. I’d missed my man all day and I wanted a few minutes alone with him. The evening was early; there was still plenty of time to socialize.

  “So, how’s my baby?” Blake asked.

  “Good, especially now that you are here,” I said.

  “I hope you had some fun and didn’t just think about this all day.”

  “What would be wrong with thinking about this all day?” I asked.

  “Nothing… but I know you are trying to celebrate something and it’s hard to do if you are missing someone. I deal with it every day at work, too. I hate being apart from you even for a few minutes. But that’s life.”

  “You are so cheesy,” I said. “You are like a Hallmark card hiding behind a sexy body.”

  “I happen to think that Hallmark cards are very sexy,” Blake said. “They are full of romantic language.”

  I couldn’t stop laughing.

  “Actually, we did have some fun. I think we are all excited and nervous about the next step. I start the new job in five days. I can’t believe it’s actually happening. And I’ve got a wedding to plan.”

  “Well, we can hire a wedding planner,” Blake said. “It’s no problem.”

  I sighed. “I kind of wanted to do it all myself. I know that if we hire someone they are going to take over and make all of these elaborate plans and setups that I’m not going to agree with, but eventually I’m going to become too tired to deal with it.”

  “Well, that is what wedding planners are for. Eventually, it will be too much to deal with and these people have teams typically that can make all sorts of things happen. They know how to do it and they can do it fast. I think you will be amazed.”

  I sighed. “When did you become such an expert on wedding planners?”

  Blake laughed. “Several of my friends over the years have gotten married. They’ve talked to me about it.”

  “Ah, then I need to talk to some of your friends,” I said.

  “Ok, I’m sure they’d be glad to help or recommend someone.”

  I dipped below the water and hugged Blake around the waist before popping back up in front of him. It felt good to be close to him again. It had been a few days since we’d made love at his mansion. I was practically living there, but it was not official yet. My parents probably wouldn’t have approved of that and yes even at twenty-two I did respect my parents’ wishes. I was raised in a fairly religious family, and a bit old school. I loved my parents and I respected them. As long as I lived under their house, then I would attempt to follow their rules.

  Of course, I often did such a bad job that, informal compromises were made.

  “You are so beautiful,” Blake said. He kissed me warmly.

  I felt the tingles all over. When he touched me, my whole body felt like it was being warmed by the most soothing feeling you could ever imagine. I never wanted it to end.

  I tried not to look around to see everyone around me watching, but I could feel their gaze. It was mostly the women and I knew they were all giggling and throwing out their “ooohs” and “awws”. I found it hilarious, and it was fun to show off. Blake was an amazing man.

  “Hey, what are you doing this weekend?” Blake asked. “Any plans I don’t know about?”

  “No…” I said. “I’m probably just going to be freaking out before starting the job on Monday. But why?”

  “Well, I was thinking that we might go up to the cabin or somewhere else just to get away and enjoy some time together.”

  “That does sound nice,” I said. “Did you have anything else in mind?”

  Blake smiled and leaned closely. “Like what?”

  “Well, I don’t know…” I said. “But usually when you plan these trips, we end up somewhere else entirely and it always starts out as a hypothetical question. Before you know it, we are white water rafting in another state.”

  “Hey, you loved that!” Blake smiled.

  “I did, but it was way unexpected,” I replied.

  “I thought you liked spontaneity? You know how I’m always bored, right?”

  “I do know this, and that is what worries me. I’m afraid that one day I’ll find myself diving out of a plane on one of these whims that you end up having. I don’t know how far I can go with these extreme challenges.”

  “That’s the beauty of being extreme,” Blake said. “You can keep going and going until you think you have gone as far as you can. But then… you find that you can push yourself just a little farther.”

  I giggled. “I’m pretty sure that there is a place where just a little farther equals death.”

  Blake smiled and kissed me again. “Are you nervous about something else?”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Blake shrugged. “It’s just a feeling I get. I know my babe.”

  I sighed. I had never been able to lie to him. I wondered if he’d ever been able to lie to me? I’d never caught him, but he might have been that good.
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br />   “You’re right,” I said. “I was just hoping that one of these weekends instead of doing something crazy, we could just have dinner with your family. I mean, just plan to get together with the sole purpose of meeting them for the first time. They are going to be my mother and father in law after all. I’d like to get to know them before the wedding, or before our first child is born.”

  Blake laughed. “I know. I’ll talk to my dad and see when his schedule clears up. I’m pretty sure they are going to be out of town the next few weeks. The trip got extended last I heard from my uncle Louis.”

  “See? I’ve never met him either,” I said a bit snappy. I was getting annoyed and it was starting to show.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” Blake asked.

  “I’m really starting to think that you don’t want me to meet your family,” I said. “Is that it?”

  The words hung in the air and I suddenly realized the party was way quieter than I thought it was. I’d said those last sentences between songs, and I was pretty sure that everyone at the party had heard me put Blake right on the spot.

  I felt instantly embarrassed, but Blake was cool as a cucumber. He didn’t miss a beat and he didn’t even seem like he noticed anyone around looking at us.

  “Hey, babe. Where is this coming from?” Blake asked. “Of course I want you to meet my family. When has this ever been an issue? Did I ever tell you that I didn’t want that?”

  “No, but it’s getting weird. Other people have noticed too, like my parents. They would love to meet them. I just don’t get why there always has to be some reason that it won’t work. I bet if I went through every day for the next three months, you would find a reason for it not to happen.”

  Blake sighed and climbed out of the pool. He quickly dried off and then he got his clothes off the patio and walked out the gate door without saying a word to anyone.

  “Dammit,” I muttered.

  I quickly got out of the pool and ran after him. What had I done? I’d pushed the boundaries and I’d come off sounding like a total bitch. I’d let too many negative thoughts dictate my mood and what was on my mind. And this was the result. What the hell was I doing?