"Don't worry. I'm a big girl."
Gage shook his head and gave me a smile when he said, "I know you’re a big girl but you’re my girl. You should be used to my over protectiveness by now."
"Ha. You sir, are beyond over protective. You are mental when it comes to me."
Gage grabbed my face and ran his thumbs across my cheeks. "When it comes to you, mental doesn't even begin to fucking describe me. You’re my girl. I love you and would do anything to protect you."
"You’re my best friend Gage. Thanks for always being there for me. I don't know what I would do without you. But please lay off Larkin. Nothing serious will happen between us. We both just want to have fun." I put my arms around Gage and laid my head on his chest. "Please, Gage,” I pleaded.
"Ok. I'll lay off the best I can. But I'm here if you need me. Watching you get set up to get fucking hurt is hard." Gage let go of me and walked to his door. "You will always be my girl and I will always love you."
I walked over to stand beside him and said "I know, Gage. Back 'atcha." I opened the door and walked out. I saw Larkin staring at me, and I smiled.
Lunch went pretty well and the guys ate way too much. When they left to go back to football I finished decorating and much to Gage's disapproval I spiced his room up a little. That night Gage came back alone.
"Hmm. Maybe you should take up interior decorating instead of advertising," Gage said as he looked around.
"You like it? You know I can't stand plain."
"Yep, I like it. So I was thinking, I want to do something with you."
I was leaning down putting the last picture frame in place and asked, "Oh ya? What’s that?"
"Let's get tattoos. Together."
"You know I'm always up for some new ink. What were you thinking?" I stood and faced him, leaning against the wall.
"I was thinking about our talk earlier. I think we should get a saying, something for just us."
"Ok...have a saying in mind?"
Gage nodded then pulled his phone out. He really must have thought a lot about this. He handed me his phone, and I looked at the screen. On it was a picture of two black birds and it read I will always stand by your side.
"I love it!" I smiled up at Gage.
"Well then let’s go." Gage said reaching for my hand.
"Let me change first. I can't wear this and end up getting ink on it." I turned and headed towards my room. I grabbed a pair of jean shorts and took off the leopard print tank. Walking out of my room I smiled at Gage and said, "Let’s do this."
Since there was a tattoo parlor a few blocks away we decided to walk. When we walked in the girl at the desk saw Gage and fumbled with her words, "H-how can we um we help you?"
"My girl and I want new tattoos."
"Gage Tucker is that you? What the hell is up man?" A large guy appeared beside the girl who was still staring at Gage.
"What’s up Brad? My girl and I are here for new ink. Got any time?"
"Actually I am open the rest of the night. Do you know what you want?'
Gage handed him his phone and replied, "I want mine on my ribs." Gage turned to me and asked, "Know where you want yours?"
I nodded and said, "I was thinking my ribs too."
"Sounds great guys. Give me a few minutes to draw this up. Be back in a few." Brad turned and walked through a door, closing it behind him.
Ten minutes later Brad reappeared. "Ready. Who's first?"
I popped up and answered, "I'll go."
"Ok pretty thing, let’s get you set up."
After lying on the chair, Gage came over to sit beside me. Brad placed the stencil on my ribs and asked me if I liked it. "Yep, love it."
As Brad was setting up all his stuff he asked, "I like your back piece. How many tattoos do you have?"
"I have six, this will be seven. I actually got three of them here last year. I have the Arabic on my other ribs, an anchor on my hip, angel wings on my back, and I have quotes under my arm, across the top of my back, and the inside of my thigh."
"Kick ass." Brad looked between Gage and me and asked, "So how long have you two been together?"
I shook my head. "We're not."
Brad looked confused when he said, "Oh."
"He's my best friend. Best friends since we were little." I shrugged.
On our way home, after getting our tattoos, we grabbed Chinese takeout for dinner. We both plopped down on the couch, and Gage ordered a movie. When I finished dinner, I pulled a blanket over myself and snuggled into Gage. Life with Gage was normal, comfortable. I loved having Gage as a permanent fixture in my life. I honestly don't know what I would do or where I would be without him.
"Thank you for everything. You don't know how much you mean to me," I shared as I leaned my head back so I could see his face.
Gage slowly smiled. "You know I'm always here. No matter what, I'm here. Babe, I promise you this, regardless of who comes into your life or who you’re with I will love you more than they could ever imagine. You’re my girl."
I kissed Gage's shoulder before laying my head back down. "Gage, you’re my best friend. No one will ever compare to you."
We spent the night together, just the two of us. It was nice being cuddled up with Gage, someone who knew everything about me and still loved me.
CHAPTER 8
Waking up to a text from Larkin put a smile on my face.
Larkin: Morning baby. Have plans tonight?
I knew he was at football, so I told myself to ignore the text and go about my morning like normal. Climbing out of Gage's bed, I saw a picture he had on his dresser of the two of us. We had our arms around each other, hugging each other tight with huge smiles on our faces. It was the summer before my life changed, before I changed. I was always very happy back then with a smile on my face and laughing. Now I hide behind sarcasm and bitchiness to protect myself. No one really knows the real me, no one but Gage. I don't know how different things would have been if I hadn't gotten hurt. I had big dreams of moving to New York, going to school, and getting a kickass internship with Hawkins Advertisement. I dreamt of meeting the man of my dreams, having two point five kids and living happily ever after. I'm not sure if I would have followed through with those plans, just the thought of not being where Gage is makes me feel sick.
Feeling myself start to tear up I set the picture down, walked across our apartment and into my bathroom, turning the shower on. I let my bathroom get steamy, sitting on the small bench, let my tears fall. I hadn't broken down in a while, allowing Jacob back into my thoughts was my undoing. I couldn't hold it in anymore as a sob escaped me. I'm not sure how long I sat there with the shower running and me sobbing before I heard a knock and saw Gage walking in.
"Jenna? What is going on? What happened?!" Gage was kneeling in front of me pulling my face up to look at him.
I know I was ugly-girl crying, but seeing Gage made my cries ease. After a few moments, I sniffed a few times before finally choking out, "Gage, I'm not strong enough for this. He still haunts me. He's still in my head. He’s still there. I can't make it go away no matter how hard I try."
Gage put his arms around me, hugging me close to him, "Babe, you're going to make it. It's going to be hard, but you will make it."
I shook my head. "I can't Gage. He destroyed me. He killed me. I'm not strong enough. I thought eventually the pain would ease, or I would maybe accept my new life, but it still hurts."
"No matter what or how hard you fucking try to avoid it, someone in your life is going to hurt you. They will take everything you have and every damn thing that you are and rip it apart not giving two shits where the pieces fall or how hard you hit rock bottom. But through the breakdown, you will learn so fucking much about yourself and how damn strong you really are."
Wiping my tears with the backs of my hands I turned my face away from Gage. "If it wasn't for you Gage, I don't think I would have survived. You standing beside me every day for months is what saved me. You were there no matte
r what even when I hated life."
"Babe, that’s what best friends are for."
Smiling I turned back to face Gage and told him, "And you’re the best."
Gage kissed my forehead before standing and pulling me with him. "So why don't you get your stinky ass in the shower while I make something for lunch."
I nodded and said, "Thank you."
Gage just smiled, turned and walked out closing the door behind him. I took my clothes off and stepped into the still running shower. As soon I stepped in, I was jumping out, screaming.
"Shit, babe? What the fuck?" Gage was slamming the door open looking around like he was going to find someone with a gun to my head.
Grabbing a towel to cover myself, I turned the water off. Laughing I looked at Gage's panicked face and said, "The water was freezing. Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."
"Holy fuck, I thought you were dying," Gage said shaking his head.
"Well I'm alive but I guess my ass is going to stink for a few more minutes while I wait for the water to heat back up. Mind handing me my robe so I don't have to walk around in a towel."
Gage smirked, "With your sexy little body, a towel would be just fine."
"Get real, Gage. Now hand me my damn robe,” I laughed.
Gage threw my robe at me and walked out laughing. After replacing my towel with my robe, I walked into the kitchen to find Gage making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He was adorable.
"PB and J? What are we five?" I couldn't help but giggle.
"Shut the hell up and be happy I actually cooked."
"Sweetie, I don't think getting out bread and covering it with peanut butter and jelly and slapping the slices together constitutes as cooking," I said while grabbing my plate and taking a big bite. "But it is good. My compliments to the chef."
Gage tossed a piece of bread at me before dipping his hand in the jar of peanut butter and smearing it on my cheek. "The chef thanks you and smothers you with love."
"I do believe you mean peanut butter," I said and smiled back while peeling apart my sandwich. I took a piece in each hand and smashed them on either side of his face.
"You did not just do that?"
"Oh but I did, sir," I laughed.
Gage's eyes twinkled with something I had never seen before, I wasn't sure what it was, but then his eyes turned a stormy blue, and I knew I was done for. I ducked behind the bar as Gage dove over it. Both his hands went into my blonde hair with grape jelly.
"Oh my God! Seriously you just put jelly in my hair!" I screeched trying to get away from him.
"Suck it sweetheart. You still need a shower. Your hair won't fall out."
I tackled Gage. Although I'm sure he let me more than I forced him. I took both of his hands and smeared them all over his face. We were both laughing so hard, I almost didn't hear the knock coming from the door.
"Come in, doors open," Gage called out as I scooted off him and tried working my fingers through my sticky, matted hair.
"Uh, everything ok here?” Larkin's deep voice broke through my laughter.
Both Gage and I looked up to see Larkin looking down at us with wide eyes full of confusion.
I smiled up at him and said, "Everything is great. Gage was um, he was just giving me a grape jelly hair treatment, good for my roots.”
Larkin looked from me to Gage and back to me before nodding once and said, "Sure. Did you get my text?"
"Yes, sorry. I slept late and when Gage got home we got busy."
Larkin gave a half smartass smile. "Ah yes with your hair treatment, wouldn't want to miss that."
Gage was standing and narrowing his eyes at Larkin. He asked, "What the fucks your problem, Nayler?"
Larkin raked his eyes over me before moving them to Gage and replied, "Not a damn thing. I wanted to see if Jenna wanted to have dinner and maybe catch a movie but I just got my answer."
I scrambled to my feet grabbing Larkin's arm so he would look at me. "What the hell? Why don't you ask me what I want and not just assume."
Larkin's eyes softened a little before he opened his mouth and sarcastically said, "Well I wouldn't want you to miss your hair treatment. So don't bother. See ya 'round."
"Larkin? What is up your ass? Just because I didn't text you back you’re going to be a total dick? We hooked up once, I don't ever remember signing some damn contract saying I am yours whenever you want, so piss off!"
Larkin turned and was out the door before another word was said. Gage and I gawked at each other. "Well that was fun," I teased before walking into my room to finally get my shower. If Larkin thought I was his shiny new toy, he was seriously mistaken. That boy was crazy if he thought after one night of sex, ok the best sex of my life, I was his property. I am my own person, I don't need some guy trying to control me.
CHAPTER 9
I didn't see Larkin for the next few days, and the fact that I missed him bothered me. He pissed me off trying to be all macho male. That shit didn't fly with me. So how could I miss him?
I had planned a dinner and invited everyone over. The front door flung open and the guys plus Sadie, Libby, and Megan came in. Larkin was walking beside Gage. Apparently, they kissed and made up. I wanted to make a big dinner for the guys before their first pre-season game, and hopefully last as a college student. I made a pot roast with carrots, roasted baby red potatoes, homemade macaroni and cheese, and rolls. Our apartment smelled awesome. Everyone filed into the living room with me following.
"Hey," Larkin whispered with his panty dropping half smile.
"Hi, Larkin," my voice was tight, but he was getting to me.
"Shit! Beer run. Larkin let's go. Need your ID," Gage said as he walked over and put his arm around my shoulders. "Babe, food smells damn good."
"It should, it’s your favorite."
Gage smirked, dropped his arm and motioned for Larkin to follow him. Larkin looked at me again, trying to get me to notice him. I kept my eyes trained on Sadie as she went on some rant about her neighbors loud dog. I heard Larkin sigh before turning to follow Gage out the door.
"J, can I talk to you for a minute?" Jinx lowered his voice as he came walking up beside me.
"Sure, what’s up?"
"Um can we go to your room? I don't want everyone to hear."
"Ah sure." I turned to follow Jinx into my room.
When we got to my room, he closed the door and turned to face me. "Jenna you know I love you like my sister, right?" I just nodded my head and he continued, "Larkin is my cousin, we grew up just as close as you and Gage. Even though Larkin is a year older than us, we were always together until he moved. When he was twelve, he changed and not for the better. He got into drugs, fighting, drinking, and sleeping with anything that owned a vagina."
I was confused and asked, "Ok? I'm not sure what you’re trying to say." Did this guy think something serious was going to happen between me and Mr. Mental Controlass?
Jinx closed his eyes tight for a moment letting out a breath and said, "I just want you to be careful. Larkin isn't a loving forever kinda guy. He's more of a get in, get off, get out kinda guy. He left our small hometown and came here trying to escape his past. The people from his past, you don't just walk away from them. I don't want you hurt because of my stupid cousin, not to mention I don't want to know what Gage would do if something happened to you."
I started shaking my head and calmly said, "Don't worry Jinx. I am not looking for nor do I want something serious. The thing between Larkin and I was just for fun. I'm not a loving kinda girl. I just want to have fun right now. Larkin and I had our one night. It was fun but we’re over it."
"Jenna, it's not so much that I'm worried he will hurt you emotionally but that his past will catch up to him and you will be caught in the middle. I'm saying just keep Larkin at a distance and don't get close. And trust me babe, it ain't over. You have him all torn up."
"Jensen, listen to me, Larkin is the kind of guy I don't need in my life, and there is no worry of me getting cl
ose to him. I let myself get close to a guy one time and I got screwed."
Before Jinx could say anything else, my door was opening and Larkin walked in. Looking at Jinx and I Larkin asked, “What are you two doing?”
"Nothing, Larkin. What do you want?" I was trying to show irritation, but my voice cracking gave me away.
Larkin looked at Jinx for a moment then turned to me. "Jenna can we talk?"
"Sure what do you want?" I shrugged trying piss him off, so he would leave.
Larkin looked to Jinx then back to me and said. "Alone, Jenna."
"What the hell, Larkin? Just say what the hell is on your damn mind. I don't feel like playing games."
Larkin let out a ragged breath. "Fine. Jenna, I want you, not just for some quick fuck but I want to be able to take you out to dinner, call you just to say hi. I shouldn't fucking want you, you’re too damn good but I do. One taste of you wasn't enough, I need more."
I looked over at Jinx who shrugged. Looking back at Larkin I said, "Larkin get fucking real. I don't do drama shit and that’s what you are. I don't want a boyfriend, I want the quick fuck. We are completely different."
Jinx grabbed my shoulder and squeezed it. "I think this is my que to leave. Larkin I swear if you hurt this girl you better hope to God Gage never finds you."
Larkin narrowed his eyes and glared at his cousin, "Fuck off Jensen. This has nothing to do with him."
Jinx just shook his head and laughed, "That’s what you think. J isn't just some girl from home Larkin, you can't treat her like the others. She's special. You may be family but I wouldn't think twice about knocking your ass out for hurting her."
"Jensen you don't know shit. I am in no mood to deal with you. Just walk away and let me talk to her."
I slapped my hands down on my thighs and yelled "Are you fucking kidding me? Jinx, thank you for looking out for me but I promise I will be ok. Larkin maybe I have nothing to say to you."
"Jenna, please just hear me out,” Larkin pleaded.
I shook my head and said, "Larkin there is nothing to say. We had one amazing night but that’s it. You want something I can't offer you and I want nothing."
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