CHAPTER 26
The weeks went by and before we knew it the NFL draft was a few days away. Gage had been in meetings just about every day and he was all over Sportscenter and the news. He was in the running to be the overall first pick. I was so proud of him, his dreams were coming true. Ever since we were little he has dreamt of being in the NFL.
I hadn't seen Larkin since that day in the Student Union when we said our goodbyes. Last I had overheard, yes overheard like some six year old sneaking around listening in on her parents important conversations, Larkin was back to his old self-- women, alcohol, and drugs. I hoped he was at least being safe and taking care of himself. I knew how much football meant to him and I was hoping he didn't ruin it somehow.
I didn't want to ask how Larkin was or if the Chargers were still interested in him, but I never heard if he would be going to the NFL. I wasn't a sports junkie so if I watched Sportscenter everyone would know something was going on so I sat back hoping I would hear something more. Of course, I didn't hear anything. I was going crazy, if he was at the draft ceremony he would no doubt see me when I went up with Gage and there would be no hiding my belly.
I was in our room packing when Sadie came walking in asking, "Hey doll, you almost ready? The guys are going crazy out there."
"Yep, just getting my shoes then I will be all set. I can't believe we are off to New York for the draft. The draft that will make Tyler and Gage's dreams come true.”
"I know. I'm so proud of Ty. Hell I'm proud of Gage, Trent, and Jinx too." Sadie smiled and patted Dollies bobbling head.
I couldn't help my smile when I said, "Me too. Who would have guessed they would all be getting NFL deals. I wish they would all be going to the same team though. It would sure make things easier."
"You’re telling me. At least Ty and Gage are both going to the Jets but Trent is signing with New Orleans and Jinx is off to Green Bay," Sadie said.
"I'm going to miss those guys. I didn't want to ask any of the guys but have you heard anything about Larkin?" I asked.
Sadie shook her head and said, "All I've heard is the Chargers were interested in him and he had a meeting with them but nothing else. Sorry."
I shrugged and said, "I guess it’s for the best, not really my business. I hope he gets to the NFL, that was his dream."
Sadie put her hand on my belly, rubbing it. "Honey, honestly it is your business. Everyone, including Gage knows how you feel about him. Maybe you should just talk to Larkin, you two might not get back together, but he is the father of your baby."
"No, Larkin and I had our closure, we said goodbye. He has no idea about the baby and I'm hoping he never does. I don't want him to feel pressured into being with me just because I'm the mother of his child. I love Gage and he will make the perfect dad and husband. He will make me happy."
"Gage is amazing, I'm not disagreeing with you. However, you don't love Gage like you love Larkin. You don't look at Gage like you looked at Larkin. I know Gage will make you happy but not the kind of happy you deserve. I love you and I don't know, I just want you to have what Ty and I have."
"I love you too, Sadie. Thank you for being my best friend but I promise I'm happy and I'm doing what’s best for myself and my baby, and that’s Gage. He loves both of us and he will take care of us."
Sadie started to open her mouth but Tyler opened the door asking, "You two ready yet, we need to leave."
Turning my attention to Tyler I nodded and said, "Yep." I zipped up my suitcase and rolled it across the floor before walking out the door I looked back at Sadie I smiled reassuringly and said, "I promise everything is great."
The flight to New York was quick, thankfully. When we arrived in the city we met with Gage's parents and brother, and to my surprise my parents plus Mac and Kota were with them.
"Ah! What are ya'll doing here? I didn't know you were coming."
My mom hugged me. "We wouldn't miss Gage's draft for anything. It takes a lot of work and dedication to become first round draft pick." My mom let go of me to hug Gage before turning back to me to ask, "So how is my grandbaby?"
Gage rubbed his hand on my ever growing belly and I replied, "She is great. She loves to sleep all day and play all night. I hope that isn't an omen that my little peanut has no plans of sleeping when she gets here."
That earned me a laugh from everyone and Gage's mom wrapping me into a hug and said, "Sweetheart kiss your sleepy time goodbye, you won't see that again for a long time."
Hmph.
**********
It was incredibly loud. I figured it would be but good Lord, Radio City Music Hall was humming with football.
"Hey beautiful. How you doing"
I turned in my chair to find my dad standing behind me smiling. I smiled back and answered, "I'm ok. Nervous but I'm proud of Gage and what he is doing."
"To say I'm proud of that boy is an understatement. He means so much to our family and knowing that he will be taking care of our little girl and her baby from now on is comforting. He is truly a blessing."
"I know, Dad. I love Gage, always have and always will."
My dad tilted his head examining me for a moment before asking, "But he's not Larkin, right?"
How the hell did my dad know? I darted my eyes around the room inadvertently looking for Larkin before bringing my gaze back to meet my dad’s. "That doesn't matter anymore dad. Gage and I are getting married and we will raise our family together. We love each other."
My dad sighed before sitting beside me. "There is no doubt you two love each other, you have loved each other since your diaper days but is this really what you want?"
I was nodding before my dad was finished and said, "Yes, dad. I know I can count on Gage, he is dependable, safe, and comfortable, he's my Gage. He loves me and he loves my peanut. How could I walk away from that?"
Wrapping one arm around my shoulder my did kissed my cheek. "As long as your happy and taken care of I will stand beside you and support whatever decision you make. We love you JP."
"Love you too, dad."
After my heart to heart with my dad my nerves were on full alert. Now, I was never one who fell for the sappy love stories about soul mates and feeling electricity in the room when that special someone entered, but I swear I felt tingles running up and down my body just before I turned around and saw Larkin walk in. Then I saw a gorgeous brunette walk up and plaster herself to his side. I felt the backs of my eyes starting to burn, I needed air.
Attempting to stand Sadie was at my side saying, "I saw, let's take a potty break."
Forcing myself not to cry I grabbed her hand and followed. I was not sure how this night would play out now, there was no doubt if I went on stage with Gage that Larkin wouldn't see my belly. No hiding this monster. For barely over thirty weeks I was the size of that little dough boy who always laughed when you poked his belly. I swear if you tried to poke me I would punch you, touch the belly get the fist.
Walking into the bathroom we were thankful to find it empty. Sadie looked apologetic and said "I had no idea if he would actually be here, I swear if I had known I would have warned you."
"Sadie, this isn't your fault. I got myself in this mess nothing I can do about it now. Larkin must have a damn magic stick to get me pregnant. Stupid man and his stupid magic stick! UGH!" I gripped the edge of the sink so hard my knuckles were turning white.
Sadie rubbed my back. "Just take a few deep breaths and calm down, this isn't good for our little lady. You have to relax."
After a few minutes I had regained my composure and nodded to Sadie saying, "Phew. Ok. I'm good to go. Oh fuck! What the hell am I going to do when I have to waddle out on stage with Gage? Won't it be kind of odd if his future wife doesn't get up there with him to celebrate?"
"Shit. You have to go up there, you’re right. Maybe hide behind his brother or as soon as you’re at his side pull his jersey over in front of you?" It came out more of a question than an answer.
"Damn. Damn. Damn. I will
walk up by Dylan then when I get up there I will have him hold the jersey in front of us. I think that will work." Well that didn't come out as confident as I wanted. It would have to work, no other choices.
Sadie hugged me around our bellies before walking us back out to the chaos.
"Babe, you ok? You look like your about to vomit," Gage asked and was at my side as soon as we were back in the hall.
I didn't want Gage worried or stressed on his big night, so I plastered on a fake smile I hoped looked sincere, kissing his cheek I said, "Just a little hot, a lot of people. But everything is ok now. Let's go find our seats before this place gets crazier."
Gage studied my eyes a minute then sighed, he didn't buy my fake smile. I should have known he wouldn't. He knew me better than I knew myself, but he let me off the hook and grabbed my hand. "Ok, let's go."
CHAPTER 27
After finding our seats Gage introduced me to his agent, Tim Conner. He was a nice guy and for an older man he looked pretty good. As the others took their seats the program got underway as cameras zoomed around, focusing on those men who would be fulfilling their dreams tonight.
A tall guy with thinning brown hair took the stage and stepped up to the podium. He rattled on about football, teams, draft picks blah blah blah. I mean I like to watch football but to sit and listen to some middle aged man droan on...not so much. Finally he called the New York Jets to the stage and the giant clock on the screen started ticking. My stomach was twisting and butterflies were fluttering around in my belly. This was Gage's moment. I had to relax, for him. Let him enjoy this. Grabbing his hand I said, "Love you. I'm so proud of you."
Gage smiled down at me. 'Love you too, babe."
"...New York Jets select Gage Tucker, quarterback. Ohio State University."
The room erupted in cheers as a camera was thrust in our faces and Gage leaned over to kiss me. And hard. And good. On camera, where everyone in America, ok maybe not everyone but all those who were watching, could see. Gage turned from me to hug his mom who was in tears, his dad, Dylan, my parents, Tyler and Sadie, then Jinx. He went to hug Trent but their bromance won out and Trent kissed him, a loud slobbery smack on the cheek. Trent and Gage shared a brief man-hug before he came back to me one more time and lifted me, actually lifted my chubby butt from the chair and twirled me around. I had never seen Gage so happy. I couldn't help but giggle as all those around us cheered. Standing me back on my feet I leaned up and kissed him again before he made his way to the stage.
He walked past some guy who handed him a Jets hat then continued on to his spot center stage. He took the jersey and held it in front of him for picture after picture. Finally we all made our way onto the stage. I made sure to stay tucked behind Dylan until I was next to Gage and grabbed for his jersey, pulling it in front of my belly. We posed for more pictures, they seemed endless. Finally after the madness ensued I ducked behind Dylan again as we made our way off the stage and back to our seats to watch Tyler, Trent, and Jinx.
After a few other picks Jinx was called for the Green Bay Packers and Trent went to the New Orleans Saints. I was sad to see them go so far away from where I would be, but I was happy they would be doing what they loved. I was still hugging Trent as he sat down after his pick when he leaned into my ear whispering, "Thank you J. No matter what your special to me and I love you. I'm so glad you’re here tonight, I wouldn't want anyone else. Even if you’re not my date just having you by my side is enough."
I leaned back to see Trent was being serious and I said, "Trent, you are extremely special to me. I don't know what I would have done these past few years without you. I have some awesome memories thanks to you." I kissed his cheek and leaned into him again saying, "Love you..."
My voice trailed off as I heard another name being announced, "The San Diego Chargers pick Larkin Nayler, wide receiver. Ohio State University."
My head slowly turned as I saw Larkin's face flashing on the large screen. Trent had heard too and had his hand on my shoulder. "J, you need to breathe. Just breathe."
I struggled a breath before I saw Larkin grabbing his brunette babe's head and kissing her or should I say molesting her face. Did they forget they were on national television? I couldn't pry my eyes from the screen and soon Jinx was pulling Larkin away to hug him. I'm not sure what Jinx said to Larkin but when Jinx pulled back Larkin's face paled. Before it was noticeable to most he had his smile back in place and was walking down the aisle to the stage. I wanted to leave but I didn't want to miss Tyler’s moment.
"J, babe. You need to calm down, your starting to sweat," Trent's voice brought me back to reality.
"Hm? Sorry, Trent. I um, I need a minute, ok?"
I laid my head on the table and took a few deep breaths before looking up. I found Gage, Trent, Tyler, and Sadie all staring at me. I smiled and shrugged. Tthey knew what this was doing to me, seeing Larkin’s dreams come true, watching him suck face with some beautiful brunette who no doubt would make Larkin a lucky man tonight. Just being in the same room as Larkin hurt, but I was too late. There was nothing I could do.
Gage leaned down in front of me. "Babe, we can leave. Tyler understands."
"No, we are not going anywhere. I want to be here for Ty, I'm proud of him and I don't want to miss his moment."
Gage wrapped his arms around me. "Jenna, look at me," Gage demanded.
I brought my eyes to meet his. "Jenna, I love you and I wish I could take this hurt away but I can't. I know what he means to you and I know you will probably always love him but just know that I'm here. I will always be here no matter what."
I placed my hands on the sides of his face and said, "Gage, thank you. So much. I love you and I wouldn't want life any other way than you standing beside me."
Gage kissed the tip of my nose and I leaned up with a smile on my face that quickly faded when I glanced towards the stage and saw Larkin staring at me. I wasn't sure what to do, so naturally I panicked and clambered to my feet and tried to make a getaway. Hello dumbass, baby bump highly visible. I couldn't get anywhere. To one side there was a wall, and the last time I checked I don't have ghost status and I can't Casper it through the wall. To my other side a wall of giant men, no getting through there. I couldn't go up or down. This damn place had me trapped and Larkin's eyes were on me, no more importantly on my belly. I was caught.
Shitmotherfuckerdamnfuckingmotherfuckinghell!!!
Maybe Larkin would carry on as if he saw nothing and go back to brunette Barbie and ride her into the night. I glanced up again, no such luck. Just like my life, I was screwed, no wait that’s how I got to this point. Now what?
As Larkin got closer I felt Sadie's hand on my elbow and pulling me to follow her as she said, "Scoot it sister unless you want a throw down here in NYC."
Being pulled through the crowd I heard Sadie asking in her sweet southern voice for all the big guys to "please allow us pretty pregnant ladies through, we need to pee." Of course the men moved, who could resist Sadie, even pregnant she was a knock out.
Making it safely to the bathroom, once again I felt my face heating and my tears falling. I couldn't hold it in anymore as I sank to the floor. Sadie wrapped me in her arms. I'm not sure how long we sat there before Sadie's phone went off, grabbing it she unlocked the screen and read it. Looking between her phone and me I knew Ty or one of the guys had texted her telling her he was up.
I picked myself up off the floor and walked to look in the mirror. Surprisingly, I didn't look too bad, my makeup still looked good. My eyes were slightly pink, nothing a little Visine wouldn't clear up. Thankfully I had thrown it in my purse last minute in case I became emotional when Gage was picked, so I didn't look like some cracked out whore in the pictures with big puffy blood shot eyes. A few drops in each eye and I turned to see Sadie watching me.
"We can't miss this, this is Ty's time and I will not take that away. Let's go watch your baby daddy own that stage and hope to God my baby daddy left." I tried to laugh but it came out more like a
broken cackle.
Sadie sighed before checking herself in the mirror then placing her hand in mine, "Ready?"
I smiled sadly to her and asked, "What other choice do I have, let's go."
Sadie walked in front of me and stopping just before we got back to our seats, she looked around then nodded. "I don't see him, I guess he left."
I wasn't sure how I felt about that. On one side I was relieved, I didn't have to face him but on the other my heart sank. I loved Larkin and a part of me knew I always would. Hell, even Gage knew I would always love Larkin, but he was my past. I needed to let him go not just for me but for Gage and my little peanut. Gage deserved more, so much more than I had been offering. I needed to focus on my life now, my new to-be family. Gage deserved all my love and I was going to give that to him. Or at least try.
Hearing Sadie yelling and giggling I was pulled out of my little pity party and back to earth. Tyler was hugging Sadie close and planted a big kiss on her lips. She pulled back and I saw her tell him she loved him. I was jealous. I didn't get to do that. Wait? What? Yes I did, I got that with Gage, my best friend and future husband. I have what Sadie has, why should I be jealous. I had the perfect man on my side. Just keep telling yourself that, Jenna. Tyler grabbed me into a big hug and kissed my cheek, hugging him back I had to yell so he could hear me. "Proud of you Ty, now get your ass on stage and show them what a sexy linebacker looks like." Tyler just laughed as he kissed Sadie again before walking off.
I decided I needed to get a little air and walked out of the main room and into the hallway, where I saw Larkin. Before I could advert my eyes his dark brown ones found mine. In just four strides he was directly in front of me.
"Jenna. Why didn't you tell me?"
I looked away, crossing my arms over my belly. "Tell you what, Larkin?"
Beautiful Goodbye Page 17