He placed his hand on my stomach and I reached up smacking it away I said, "Not yours, Larkin. I'm with Gage if you hadn't noticed. He is the father so you have nothing to worry about." The look that came across Larkin's face almost made me crack. Almost. But I held my ground.
"Jenna, I'm not stupid. I know this baby is mine. If you want me to walk away so you can have your happy family with Gage then I will do that, for you and my child. I don't want either of you to hate me for ruining your lives."
I felt the tears burning but forced them away and said, "Larkin, you didn't ruin my life. You will always be my favorite 'what if' but I can't. Maybe we did have the right love just at the wrong time. Gage is my forever. He is the best guy for me. He will be a wonderful daddy to my little girl, he will make sure we’re happy."
Larkin wiped the single tear that escaped from my cheek. "Jenna, I will always love you. I am walking away because I love you and I want you to be happy. Gage is lucky to have you." He leaned down kissing my cheek then the corner of my mouth, God I missed his touch. "Goodbye, Jenna."
My eyes were still closed when I felt Larkin drop his hand and walk away. When I finally got the nerve to open my eyes the hallway was empty. I let out a sigh and sunk down onto the floor. What the hell had I done? I loved Larkin, but I knew I could never let him in, never give him what he needed emotionally. I loved Gage but not like I should, not the way a woman loved her future husband. Having Gage always by my side I knew I was safe, but did that make me happy enough anymore? Could I really marry Gage and have a family just because Larkin scared the hell out of me?
Gage. He was who I picked. He was the one who had always been there and would always be there. I would always have Gage in my corner, he was my home. I pulled myself off the floor and walked back into the room, right up to Gage. I grabbed his hand and kissed him. "I love you."
Gage smiled back and said, "I love you too, babe. Thank you for being here and always supporting me."
CHAPTER 28
"Hey, J. You feeling ok?" Gage was walking out of the bathroom while I relaxed in bed. Today had be difficult to say the least.
"Mmmhmm." I slightly nodded but my head started feeling fuzzy. Maybe I was getting hungry, I hadn't eaten in a few hours. I should probably get a snack.
I went to stand but as soon as I stood I was on the ground, "Shit! Jenna! Jenna, look at me!"
I tried hard to focus on Gage but everything was growing dark and fuzzier. Last thing I remember is hearing Gage yelling at someone, something about falling and not responding.
**********
BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEP BEEP
What the hell is that beeping? Someone turn it off, it’s annoying.
BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEP BEEP
Ok, seriously I'm going to flip the hell out if that damn beeping doesn't stop. Slowly opening my eyes, looking around I see Gage to my left with his head down on my hand. My mom and dad are to my right, both asleep in their chairs laying their heads on my bed. Gage's parents are at the end of my bed, also asleep but leaning against the wall. Then Sadie, Tyler, Trent, and Jinx were all snuggled in the corner sleeping. What the hell was going on and why the hell am I in the hospital?
I wiggled my hand that Gage was sleeping on and mumbled, "Gage? Gage, wake up."
Gage popped his head up asking, "Jenna?"
Hearing voices my mom and dad woke up. My mom flung herself at me, hugging me harder than she ever had. My dad ran his hand down my cheek. "JP, you really scared us."
"Um, what the hell is going on?" I asked looking around, confused.
The others must have heard our voices and woke up too. Sadie literally jumped out of Tyler's lap and was at my side. "Jenna! Oh my God! How are you feeling?"
I tilted my head focusing on her eyes. "Confused. What happened?"
Gage started to talk but the door opened and an older lady came bustling in. "Oh, Miss Reylan, how sweet of you to join your own little private party. I must say you are one loved lady."
I smiled and looked around before saying, "I am. But can someone tell me why said party is being held in a hospital room?"
"Well dear, your body was fighting you and you passed out. I'm just here to check your vitals but as soon as I'm done I will send your doctor in. He can go into all the details for you."
After checking me to make sure I wasn't going to die the cute old lady instructed me, "Here is the call button, if you need anything or start feeling funny hit that button. My name is Becky if you need anything else. If you don't need anything right now I will send your doctor in and I will be back in a few hours."
"Ok, Thank you, Becky."
Becky was out the door and before anybody could say anything a very attractive man in a white lab coat came walking into my room. "Hello, Miss Reylan I'm Dr. Robertson." He came over to shake my hand then Gage's before continuing, "Becky just came out and told me you were awake but not really sure what was going on. I wanted to come in and check you and fill in some blanks."
"Thank you." I wasn't sure what else to say, so I kept it simple.
"I want to start with from this point on you are on strict bed rest. You are only allowed to be up and moving two or three hours a day and nothing strenuous. Ok now to what is going on with you and your baby. Honestly, we are not sure. Giving your history I think it’s safe to assume that is playing a role in what’s going on. We ran test after test and everything was coming back normal. We have your baby on the monitor and she looks great. I think your body is just fighting itself right now. There is a lot of scar tissue that has built up and it is a miracle your carrying a baby, we need to keep a close eye on you until your baby gets here."
My eyes shot to my group of friends huddled in the corner. They knew nothing about my past so I know as soon as Dr. Sexypants leaves I will be grilled and I really don't want to have to deal with that right now.
Dr. Sexypants finished what he was saying then asked if we had any questions. I shook my head before thanking my doctor and looking at my friends, I could see all their questions building up, awesome. NOT!
"Well I think right now you need all the rest you can get. You still have a little over nine weeks before your due date. We want to keep you here for a few days just to monitor you and the baby. If everything looks good we will allow you to go home, but I advise no flying. You need to try to stay calm and relaxed as much as possible. Do you have any questions?"
I looked around the room before looking back to my doctor and saying, "No, I'm good. Thanks."
Dr. Sexypants held his hand out for me to shake then turned to Gage to shake his hand. "Thank you so much, Dr. Robertson."
After my doctor walked out I looked at Gage. "I'm so hungry. Can you get me something to eat?"
Gage smiled before kissing my cheek and said, "Sure. What would you like?"
"Hmm. I want the biggest cheeseburger ever, with a side of cheeseburger, pepperoni pizza, and fries."
That caused the entire room to laugh. My mom rubbed my arm and said, "Sweetie, I think you should take it easy. Maybe try some soup first and see how you feel after that."
I grumbled, "Ugh I guess."
After getting soup and devouring it within minutes my stomach was feeling queasy. Guess my mom was right, huh. I tried closing my eyes but I could feel everyone’s stares glued to me, like I was some circus monkey and they were waiting for my next trick.
"Ya'll are making me nervous. I'm not going anywhere. Why don't you get something to eat, take a shower, relax for a while. I promise I'm not planning on pulling any 007 shit, my fat ass will be right here when ya'll get back."
Gage was instantly shaking his head saying, "No way in hell am I leaving you."
My mom and dad were also shaking their heads along with Gage's parents. I huffed out, "You people are going to make me crazy. I can't rest which is what I need because every time I close my eyes I feel all your eyes on me. And when I try to talk you treat me like I'm dying. Just leave for a few hours, I don't care where you go or what you
do but please, for my sanity, please leave."
I couldn't bring my eyes up to look at anyone. I kept them trained on the small dry-erase board across the room. Finally Gage spoke up. "What if just a few of us stay with you and we go in shifts. That way if something does happen somebody is here."
I tried to hide my sigh before nodding slowly, "Fine."
After another twenty minutes of discussing who would stay and who would go it was my parents and Gage's that agreed to leave. They told us they would go out and get some baby essentials for the 'just in case' scenario. Finally after the future grandparents left the room seemed much more calming and quiet.
I looked at Sadie who's eyes were filled with so many questions but I could see she was afraid to ask anything. I smiled before patting the bed beside me. "I guess I should explain some things about my past."
Gage's hand was rubbing up and down my arm as he asked, "You sure, babe?"
I shrugged and said, "They deserve to know. They are a part of our family, Gage." He gave a curt nod then turned to our friends who had grew to become our family.
I looked from face to face. Tyler to Sadie to Jinx to Trent then finally to Gage. He gave me a smile, the little bit of confidence I needed to rehash my scared past. "It all started when I was sixteen, his name was Jacob Vincen..."
I went through all the details and Gage filled in some that I still wasn't certain or hadn't known as I went along. When I was finished everyone had tears, concern, anger, hurt, raw murderous hate in their eyes, but it was what I didn't see that made me love this group of people even more. There was no pity in their eyes, no poor Jenna. The main reason I didn't tell people my story was because I didn't want them to look at me differently. I was still Jenna and I wanted people to like me not feel sorry for me.
Trent was squeezing my bedrail so tight his knuckles were white. Glancing from Trent’s hands to his face I said, "Trent, ease up. He's in jail and he will never get out. I promised myself I wouldn't let him or what he did affect my life. Of course being told I could never have kids changed my life, but I learned to live with it .When Sadie was so sure I was pregnant I had to fight everything in me not to break down when I was so sure I wasn't. Then by some miracle, I was pregnant."
Trent squeezed his eyes closed and said, "Jenna, I love you and you have become like a little sister to me. Hearing this and what you went through makes me want to kill that coward. That fucking excuse of a man should be dead not sitting in jail getting three healthy meals a day and making friends. I have never hated anyone, never in my life. Until today. When you told me about him. I hate him Jenna, with everything in me, I hate him."
Tyler put a hand on Trent's shoulder while his other rubbed Sadie's back. "Trent, you need to relax. I'm just as pissed as you but the guy is locked up. He can't hurt Jenna again, he's gone. Trust me I could kill him just as fast as you but what would that do other than send our asses to jail?"
I stared at Trent until he brought his eyes to meet mine and I said, "Seriously, Trent, I'm fine. I had to let go and move on. It's in the past and there is nothing I can do about it now. Of course, I do have times when I think about it and how he has changed me. I'm not the same girl I was before, but I'm happy with the girl I have become because of it."
Sadie started to open her mouth but there was a quick knock on my door. I yelled, "Come in."
CHAPTER 29
I sat there dumbfounded. My mouth wide open, my eyes the size of dinner plates, "L-Larkin?" My voice was so small I wasn't sure anyone even heard me.
"Jenna? I um, someone called me and told me you were in the hospital. I had to check on you before flying out in the morning."
I drug my eyes away from Larkin and scanned my friends, my eyes landing on a very red faced Sadie. Trader!
Taking a deep breath I turned my gaze back to Larkin and narrowed my eyes. "I'm fine. Thanks for your concern but it really wasn't needed. Whoever, "I took that moment to glare at Sadie before looking back to Larkin, "told you I was in the hospital over reacted. Just too much excitement. So now that you have your peace of mind you can carry on with your little lady friend. I'm fine. I'll be fine. I'm always fine." Shit. I was having a breakdown, I felt it coming on. The room was spinning and everyone was getting fuzzy as I spoke, "Really Larkin, I'm just fine. I don't need you running in he..."
Nothing. Black.
**********
"Jenna, Jenna. Come on honey, open your eyes."
"How much more can she go through. She's only twenty. Fuck, a forty year old shouldn’t have to deal with half the shit she's been through."
"Gage, we have to stay calm for her and the baby, we can't get worked up." I felt a hand in my hand, the thumb rubbing mine. "Jenna, sweetheart. Please open your eyes. You have a beautiful baby girl who needs her mama. Just please open your eyes, let us know your still with us."
I tried opening my eyes but it was so damn bright, I squeezed whoevers hand was in mine. "Jenna! Did you just squeeze my hand?" Ahh so it was Sadie's hand.
"Br-bright," I choked out.
I heard rushing around then Sadie's voice filled my ears again when she said, "Try opening your eyes now."
I slowly fluttered my eyes open. Sadie and Gage were at my side. My parents and Gages were next to them. In the corner I saw Tyler, Trent, and Jinx. I brought my eyes back to Gage, "What happened?"
Gage rubbed my arm and asked, "Why don't we get your doctor in here and he can explain everything."
I watched as my mom walked out to let the nurses know I was awake and had questions for my doctor. When she walked back in my doctor trailed her.
"So good to see you again, Jenna. You are a high maintenance patient, girl."
I tried to force a smile before saying, "Sorry about that. Can you tell me what happened? And is my baby ok?"
Dr. Sexypants nodded and said, "You had a uterine rupture. It was caused from the trauma you withstood a few years ago and all the stress you have been under was too much. We were very lucky you were already in the hospital, otherwise you and your baby might not have been so lucky. You had a lot of bleeding but we got it under control and got your baby out safely. You are the mommy of a beautiful baby girl. She of course came a lot sooner than we wanted and she has a few minor complications. We had her transfered to the NICU. When you are feeling up to it, I will allow short visits. I will call her doctor and have him come down to explain in detail what is going on."
"What about the uterine rupture. Where you able to fix it? I mean will I be able to have more kids?" I asked frantically.
My doctor shook his head slowly before he said, "We stopped the bleeding and fixed the tear but chances of you getting pregnant again are very slim. You and your baby are very lucky to be alive Jenna. If you were to get pregnant again I can't promise that you or your baby will survive. If you did get pregnant it would be a very high risk pregnancy. I advise against getting pregnant again, not just for your health and safety but for your child’s."
I closed my eyes and laid my head back against the pillow nodding slowly. "Ok. Thank you. When can I see my little girl?"
"I will send her doctor down and after you talk with him you are free to visit her."
My eyes were still closed but I felt Gage and Sadie grabbing my hands as I said, "Thank you Dr. Robertson." I opened my eyes to see the sad smile on his face.
"I am truly sorry, Jenna. If you have any other questions I am here." Dr. Sexypants rubbed my shin before turning to face Gage.
Gage stuck out his hand and said, "Thanks." After Dr. Robertson and Gage shook hands my doctor left.
I let out a soft sigh, rolling my head to look at Gage and sadly said, "Gage, thank you for everything."
"Jenna, you’re my world and now we have a beautiful little girl. I would do anything for the two of you."
There was another knock on the door before an older balding man walked in "Hello, Miss. Reylan. I'm Dr. Tomlin. I’m the doctor who has been assigned to your daughter. She is beautiful, by the way."
/>
I smiled and said, "Thanks."
"Dr. Robertson told me you woke up and I wanted to fill you in on what has been going on. Your daughter was born over nine weeks premature which isn't good but it could be worse. Her lungs were not fully developed so she is currently on a respirator. She is also having a hard time regulating her body temperature so we have her in a special incubator to help her stay warm. She does have a feeding tube but we are hoping within the next few weeks we will be able to remove it and allow you to try to feed her. Over all your daughter is doing amazing, she had to fight hard but she has done great. The first few days were the toughest." Dr. Tomlin looked at Gage and smiled before continuing "This guy did an amazing job and never left her side. After sitting by her for four days I talked him into coming to see you for a while. Luckily he did so he was here when you woke."
I smiled at Gage then turned back to the doctor and asked, "So when can I see her?"
"Whenever you would like. I will warn you she is small, only four pounds and nine ounces. She also has a lot of wires and machines around her."
"Will I be able to hold her?" I asked my voice breaking.
"Unfortunately not yet. Hopefully in a few days you will be able to."
"I am ready to meet my little peanut."
Dr. Tomlin said, "I bet you are. She is just precious."
After Dr. Tomlin left everyone decided to take that time to head back to their hotels, giving Gage and I some alone time with our baby. Gage went to get a wheelchair and we were on our way to see our baby. In the elevator my emotions started catching up to me. "Jenna, babe, it’s going to be ok. She is tough like her mama. You need to stay strong for her."
Gage was right, I was a mom now and I needed to pull it together, my little peanut needed me to be strong. I nodded and said, "I love you, Gage."
Gage kissed me softly. "I love you, too."
The doors opened and Gage rolled me into the NICU. We went passed two doors before coming to a large door. Gage pushed the call button and we waited for a nurse to come.
Beautiful Goodbye Page 18