The Scofflaw Magician (The Artifactor Book 3)

by Honor Raconteur

  “I’ll keep an eye out,” Morgan promised. With a sideways look at her, he mentioned in a tone that wasn’t quite off-hand, “You now have three kings that owe you major favors. Perhaps you can cash those in? Say that you want any orphaned children under ten years old?”

  Sevana’s eyes crossed at the thought. “That would mean giving the Fae a lot of children in a very short amount of time.”

  “We would welcome the burden,” Aran informed her, stepping into the kitchen. He looked beyond pleased at this thought. “Do you think that if we ask, they will be willing to hand their citizens over?”

  Morgan rotated in his chair enough to face the man and answer forthrightly, “It’s actually better for them if they do. Orphaned children are usually on the streets, and the only way they can survive is by petty crimes, which leads to all sorts of trouble later on. If you can catch them early on, it nips the problem in the bud. They’ll be able to take a whole generation of potential thieves out of their main cities in one fell swoop.”

  Come to think of it, that was exactly what it was. “Kip, that’s a brilliant way of putting it.”

  “I’ll say exactly that to the kings, if you want me to,” he offered. “Divvy those kids up between all the Fae nations, and it won’t be a burden to any one territory. On top of that, the kids will be able to have siblings, as long as Fae parents are willing to raise more than one child at a time.”

  “They will be overjoyed to do so.” Aran had a dreamy look in his eye as if he were imagining bringing in a hundred or more children all at once. It would be quite the sight to see.

  Sevana pointed to the covered plate. “There’s dinner for you, if you haven’t had any.”

  “I haven’t.” Snagging it, he lifted off the cover and grabbed a fork before joining them at the table. He took a bite before offering, “It’s good, but this isn’t something you made.”

  Blinking, she asked incredulous, “How did you know?”

  “These aren’t spices you use.” Aran gave her a subtle wink before digging back in.

  Did he have gourmet taste buds? Sevana had cooked for him only a dozen times, at most. And already he could tell? Shaking the thought aside, she told him, “All the tunnels have traps. One tunnel has serious ones,” because she hadn’t thought to run a behavior analysis until after she’d had one tunnel partially set up, “and the rest are non-lethal. Regardless, don’t trip over any of them. Stay inside of our designated rooms until I tell you otherwise.” When he nodded, mouth full, she relaxed a hair. Even if he had tripped over one of their traps, with his reflexes and magical ability, it wouldn’t hurt him much. But Sevana frankly didn’t like the idea of him being hurt at all. “I’ll have you and Kip help me tomorrow. After that, I’ll set the rest of the lethal traps.”

  “And when that’s done?”

  “While we’re waiting on our scofflaw magician to show up, Master and I plan to work on a few projects like Milly’s mirrors and Aranhil’s Caller. The two of you are free to do whatever you wish, but if you’re here in Big, try to not be completely alone. If that man does catch us off-guard, it would be better to have at least one person to help fight at your side.”

  “We’ll stick to each other as much as possible,” Morgan promised her. “And don’t worry about entertaining us. Arandur and I will keep each other entertained.”

  Aran put his fork down and looked at Morgan squarely across the table. “Oh?”

  “It will be a good time for us to get to know each other better.” Morgan’s smile had a challenging edge to it. “Man to man.”

  An answering smile stretched across Aran’s face. “Yes. So it will.”

  Sevana had a few ideas of how to tweak the Callers so they would work with Fae magic. She took several readings of how Aran’s magical core worked, which gave her a baseline, and then worked from there. Three days into tweaking, she put her new Caller statue down and frowned. The statue itself was fine but something about it seemed off. Perhaps she should see if Aran could use this.

  Pushing back from her work table, she wandered out into the hallway. “Big, where is Aran?” Last she’d seen him was over the breakfast table, but that was several hours ago.

  Outside. In front. Dangerous.

  Sevana stopped short and looked up. “Dangerous? How?”

  Aran and Morgan. Arrows.

  They were shooting at things with arrows? It couldn’t be a real emergency, Big would have alerted her if it was, so what were they shooting at? Becoming increasingly confused, she grabbed a shielding wand from the selection near the door and headed for the front door. Activating the spell, she stepped cautiously out into the front yard.

  Before she even had the door fully opened, she heard the sounds of arrows whizzing through the air and the thunk as they hit the target. Fortunately, it seemed the men had the sense to not fire toward Big. They had a target made of deadfall several yards away, their backs toward the front door.

  “You’re not a bad archer,” Aran complimented Kip. He almost sounded sincere except his timbre made it sound somewhat challenging.

  “I expected you to be good.” On the surface, the words were a compliment, but intonation said instead, I expected you to be better than this.

  Aran heard the unspoken words and bared his teeth in the semblance of a smile. “Can you get three arrows in flight?”

  “At this distance? You’d be doing good to get two in the air at the same time.”

  “Really? Because I manage three at this distance all the time.”

  “Is that right. Why don’t you show me, then.”

  Sevana watched this back and forth play out and shook her head in exasperation. It was just like watching two bandy roosters in the same hen yard. What had started this marital arts competition anyway?

  One thing was clear, she wouldn’t be able to break this up. Later, when Aran was no longer strutting about like a peacock, she’d get his help. For now, she might as well go back in and see if Master needed any help with Milly’s mirror problem. Hopefully whatever madness this was would end today and the boys wouldn’t be doing this nonsense again tomorrow.

  ~ ~ ~

  Sevana was glad that she hadn’t bulled ahead and set all the traps like she had originally planned. It seemed nonsensical to her now to do so. What if a person didn’t approach the tunnels the same way she did? What if, because they weren’t too familiar with the area, they hugged the wall instead?

  It behooved her to run a few trial runs to see how people moved, and if her traps would really go off. Of course she had the perfect experimental subjects—ah, that was to say, dear friends who were willing to sacrifice themselves to help her. Sevana waited charitably until the next morning and approached Aran at the breakfast table. “I need some help.”

  Aran was instantly on his feet. “Of course. What do you need?”

  “The tunnels on the far left, run through them and see how many traps you set off?” Seeing his expression of growing alarm, she hastily added, “None of them are lethal. I put paint in all of them.”

  “Ahhh, I see.” A crinkle in the corner of his eyes, he said, “That’s what you were talking about last night. Alright then. Just me? I can see magic, you know. And the darkness in there will not be much of a hindrance either.”

  “I’ll send Kip in as well. I think between the two of you, I’ll get a good baseline for what adjustments need to be done.”

  Aran seemed to think this series of challenges from her and Morgan were nothing but mild entertainment as he said readily, “I’ll go now. If that’s alright?”

  “I’ll round up Kip as you run through them.” He had made noises about packaging some of her wares this morning, getting them ready to ship off. Just because they were waiting for an evil magician to storm the castle, so to speak, it didn’t mean business stopped.

  Agreeable, Aran headed off. Sevana went in search of Morgan and found him in her workroom, lifting several finished projects off of her back table and into a crate with packing
straw. “Kip, I need you for a moment.”

  “Hm? Oh, sure.” Setting what was in his hands down, he followed her out and to the mouth of the tunnel. “What am I doing?”

  “Seeing how many traps you set off.”

  Jaw dropping, his voice climbed. “WHAT?!”

  “They’re armed with nothing but paint, it’s not going to take an arm off. Don’t be a baby about it.”

  Morgan gave an anxious look at the tunnels that suggested he really, really wanted to be a baby about it.

  “These three tunnels only. Do not go into this one,” she said sternly, pointing to the far right tunnel. “It’s already been fully armed and traps set, so don’t go in there, I can’t guarantee you’ll come out with all your limbs.”

  Morgan gulped and agreed faintly, “Yes, I’ll stay well clear of that one.”

  Satisfied she had made her point, Sevana pointed a finger. “In.”

  Staring at it with open dismay, Morgan bit his lower lip. “Really? I have to do this?”

  “Aran’s going in there too. Actually, he’s already in there I should say.” He had taken both Baby and Grydon with him. Why, Sevana wasn’t quite sure. It wasn’t like either of her pets knew where the traps were.

  “But—” he started in a clear whine.

  “Go, Kip. I need a behavioral pattern to see if the traps are placed in the right places and how obvious they are. I set them, Master helped me plan where to put them, so we know more or less where they are; therefore it’s useless for us to run the test. That leaves you and Aran.”

  “That sounds all logical and reasonable, but the truth is, you don’t want to do it,” he accused, shaking a self-righteous finger at her.

  Sevana gave him a serene smile. “Your point being?”

  “Made.”

  “With circumstantial evidence,” she riposted without missing a beat.

  “That leads to an obvious conclusion.”

  “Yes, the conclusion being that you are still one of two people that are the perfect test subjects.” Sevana gave him a grand bow, arms both gracefully pointing toward the tunnel entrance. “Begin.”

  Morgan sucked in a soulful breath and blew it out in a steady stream. “You’re really hard to be friends with sometimes.”

  “It’s just paint, Kip. It’ll wash off.”

  Grumbling something under his breath that sounded like ‘It better’ he bounced on his toes, sucking in several breaths, hyping himself up. Rolling back his shoulders, he gripped his fists into the air in front of him, like he was gearing up for a fight. Then he nodded to himself. “Alright. Ready. Here I go.”

  Sevana watched him run in, without a single thing to shield himself with, and shook her head. She was actually going to offer him a wooden shield so he at least had something to duck behind. Ah well, the paint wouldn’t kill him. Just turn him rainbow colors for a few days.

  He was in there for all of a minute before she heard the first yelp. Already hit a trap, eh? That was quick. That had been one of the more obvious ones, too. This did not bode well for her friend.

  Aran came jogging out of the far left tunnel with a nonchalant expression on his face. He had two paint smears on him, one on his chest, the other on his upper thigh, but he was remarkably clean. Neither Baby nor Grydon had a single streak on them. Both of them came up and put their heads into her palms, and she gave them scratches behind their ears as she asked Aran, “You really got through all of them without setting off more than two?”

  “Some of them I could see,” Aran explained. “But most of them, Grydon and Baby were able to navigate me around. Their senses are much better than mine, they could smell the paint.”

  Oh-ho, which was why he’d taken them as pilots. Smart man. Morgan was going to whine about not being able to do the same.

  One of Aran’s ears swiveled in Kip’s direction. “I don’t think he’s doing well.”

  “You hear a lot of the traps going off?” Sevana couldn’t hear much of anything at this distance.

  “More than that. He’s complaining to himself all the way through.” Aran’s mouth quirked in dry amusement.

  Now why didn’t that surprise her.

  Very, very faintly she could hear a whine echoing through the tunnels: “It got in my mouth.”

  Choking back a snicker, she lifted her hand to cover a smile.

  Aran jerked a thumb that direction. “You keep him around for the entertainment, don’t you?”

  “To be fair, he’s a very good business partner.” Hearing from the tunnels a wordless howl of pure frustration, she bit her lip to keep from laughing before admitting, “And it’s hard to find good free entertainment.”

  “I thought as much.”

  About this point, Morgan came out from the far left tunnel. Or a better way to describe it would be, he came staggering out like some sort of color-blind monster that had experimented with dyes. There wasn’t a trace of skin that wasn’t touched by paint. He had one eye clenched shut to avoid getting blue paint in it.

  Sevana couldn’t help it. She doubled over, laughing at the sight.

  Morgan growled, face drawing into angry lines, which just made his painted face more comical. His mouth was open, ready to lay into Sevana, but upon seeing Aran an indignant finger came up to point in his direction. “You. You. Why were you only hit twice?”

  Aran pretended to think about this a moment before offering, “I’m better at dodging than you are?”

  “He had Baby and Grydon to guide him,” Sevana explained, wiping away tears of mirth. Ahhh, Morgan was always good for a laugh.

  For some reason, this set Morgan to fuming. “Sev. Hit me with one of those cleaning spells of yours.”

  Blinking, she stared at him. “Those cleaning spells that you complain about because they sting? The ones that you told me you would rather go fight a dragon than be hit by another one? Those cleaning spells?”

  “We’re going again,” Morgan explained, eyes locked with Aran’s. “And this time, you’re not going to use anyone to help you.”

  Sevana might have strong-armed him into doing it the first time, but if he was foolhardy enough to go in again, she wasn’t about to dissuade him. So she pulled a wand and hit him with a cleaning spell that squeaked every speck of paint off of him.

  Of course, even braced for it, Morgan yelped. But he shook off the feeling and gestured for Aran to go in first.

  Aran paused and confirmed with her, “They will still go off?”

  “All of the traps have enough paint in them to set off five different times,” she confirmed. “You’re good for another round.” Why they would do that to themselves just for the sake of pride was something she didn’t understand. Or want to understand.

  With a shrug, Aran took off at a lope into the tunnel.

  Sevana turned to Morgan. “You realize you just challenged a man that has the eyes of a cat and can see perfectly well in the dark?”

  “It won’t save him; most of those traps are fiendishly clever, how you hid them. He’ll get hit more than twice.” Morgan’s expression suggested that Aran had better be hit more than twice, or he would start cursing at the unfairness of life. Counting to five under his breath, he gave Aran more of a head start before charging into the tunnel after him.

  Sevana watched them go, shaking her head at the idiocy. “They can blame me for the first round, but not the second. And when they wake up tomorrow in a motley color of hues, that will be exactly what I tell them.” With a final scratch behind fuzzy ears, she let go and wandered for the kitchen. “This’ll take more than a minute, I think a snack is in order.”

  Baby and Grydon were of the opinion that this was a splendid plan and darted ahead of her, going straight for the kitchen.

  Sevana had a foot inside the kitchen when a sound coming from dead ahead stopped her in her tracks. It had been soft, barely detectable, but alarm shot up through her spine. Absolutely nothing should be in that direction. Past this door was where the booby-trapped tunnels started.
“Big. Tell me there’s no one in that tunnel.”

  The mountain hesitated, as if considering whether to be truthful or not. Finally, he groaned, Morgan. Arandur.

  Her eyes bugged out of her head. “BOTH OF THEM?!”

  Playing tag? the mountain offered tentatively.

  “In booby-trapped tunnels. Yes, that makes worlds of sense.” Snarling, she whirled and dove into her room, snapping up two wands, one for shielding and the other to deactivate any traps as she went. Hopefully she remembered exactly where all of them were.

  As she moved at a half-jog, her mind whirled. How had they come to the harebrained conclusion to do anything back there? Whatever Big thought, she highly doubted that they were ‘playing tag.’ She had just finished telling them NOT to go into that tunnel! Had they somehow gotten confused while in there?

  It took disabling two traps and avoiding a third, but finally she found Aran. He had camouflaged himself very well so that he was blending right into the rock, but he wasn’t bothering to hide his magical signature. And why should he? His opponent was not a magician and wouldn’t be able to pick up on it. Stomping right up to him, she reached out and grabbed a handful. Blind luck let her latch onto a pointy ear, and she pulled it ruthlessly upwards.

  “Owowowowowoww!” Aran yipped, squirming in protest.

  “KIP! GET OUT HERE NOW!” Sevana yelled at the top of her lungs.

  It took more than a minute but eventually her childhood friend slinked into view. “Um, Sev, why are you back here—”

  “Because you’re in the wrong tunnel, you nitwit,” she snapped. “This is insanity. In-san-i-ty. I told you specifically to stay out of this tunnel! These traps aren’t something that will spray paint on you, they are meant to defeat AN EVIL MAGICIAN.”

  Aran had at this point dropped his camouflage and was giving her a woeful look. He likely wasn’t sorry about being caught, it was more the fact that she had a firm grip on his ear. Morgan had the same hangdog look, but then he knew from experience that Sevana would get revenge on him later for this. Aran didn’t have the same history with her to know that he was in for it later.