Keeping Sweets

by Cate Ashwood

  In such a short period of time he had come to look up to Bran, to trust him with everything he had, and he chose to trust what he had been told earlier. It was confusing and frustrating. He wanted to dive into these brand-new feelings head first, but he wasn’t sure if what he was feeling was a product of the hormonal rush from the promise of his first sexual experience or if it was real. Either way, he needed to keep the feelings to himself. He didn’t want Bran to see him jumping up and drooling like an overexcited puppy. For now, he would just enjoy the experience. This felt right. This felt real, and in that moment nothing else seemed to matter. He closed his eyes and relied on Bran to keep him safe as he slept. He closed his eyes and let the sound of Bran’s steadily beating heart lull him to sleep.

  THE next morning Evan awoke to the sound of water running in the other room. He sat up in bed and surveyed the room in daylight, noticing the bright windows and views out over the water. A few moments later, the low—and off-key—sound of Bran singing floated into the bedroom. Evan smiled, holding near to his heart the thought that most people never got to see this side of Bran. He was glad. He wanted something of Bran that was all for him.

  He avoided looking at the alarm clock as he lay back against the pillows, wishing to draw out the morning as long as possible. He wasn’t ready to let go of the daydream that he belonged to Bran and Bran belonged to him.

  He wasn’t deluded enough to assume that Bran felt the same way about him, though. This was a job; Evan, an employee. Bran was a good man: strong but gentle, thoughtful, and compassionate. He cared for others without trampling over their feelings and opinions, and although Evan wished Bran saw something special in him, he was realistic enough to assume that some of the guys Bran worked with felt the same way.

  He didn’t want to be just another groupie, so as much as he wished he could stay in bed with him all day, basking in the warmth and comfort, he needed to get up and get himself a real wake-up call.

  He heard the shower turn off and knew he was running out of time for indulging in his fantasy. What was the protocol here for having a slightly less than platonic sleepover with a man who was also your boss, who you were less than twenty-four hours away from having sex with? Should he leave the room, letting Bran come back to find an empty bed? Was it rude to leave without at least thanking him for giving him a place to sleep?

  Evan was still considering the merits of each option when Bran emerged from the bathroom, steam swirling around him. He looked like a fucking fantasy. His skin was still damp, hair dripping small droplets along his broad shoulders. The white towel clung low on his hips. All thoughts flew from Evan’s mind as he stood there half in and half out of the bed with his mouth hanging open.

  Evan shook his head, trying desperately to act normally, when all he wanted to do was rush across the room and tear the towel off of Bran.

  “So, what’s the plan for today?” Evan asked, cringing at how gravelly and deep his voice sounded. He had been attempting casual, but what had come out had been closer to a Barry White voiceover.

  Bran chuckled. “Well, my first scene starts in about an hour. If you want to come and watch you’re more than welcome to. Might give you a better idea of how things are going to go tomorrow.”

  “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Who else is on today?”

  “It’s just Riley and I.”

  “Hope he’s got some energy left after last night,” Evan grumbled.

  “Yeah, me too. Not in the mood to do all the work.” Bran laughed again. “I should get a move on. The crew has set up already and they’re ready for me. You gonna watch?”

  “Uh, yeah. I think so. If that’s not weird.”

  “Not at all. After a while you kinda forget about everyone else and just do what you have to do.”

  “Alright, well, I’ll meet you downstairs, then.”

  It sounded so clinical, and maybe for Bran that’s how it was. He couldn’t possibly have feelings for all the guys he slept with. Maybe even none of them. It was a sobering thought, and Evan needed to remind himself that whatever he was feeling was one-sided.

  EVAN bounded down the stairs, wanting to grab something to eat for breakfast before the shooting started. His stomach was uneasy, but he hoped putting something in it would help to settle it.

  Colt was sitting at the counter, shoveling heaping forkfuls of eggs into his mouth, when Evan came around the corner.

  “Morning,” Evan said shyly as he pulled the box of cereal from the cupboard and poured it into his bowl.

  “Mornin’,” Colt replied, pulling out the stool next to him for Evan to have a seat.

  Evan poured the milk over his Cheerios and went to sit down next to the cowboy.

  “Excited about today?” Colt asked.

  “I guess,” Evan said. “I’m not really sure what to expect.”

  “Figure it’ll probably be a lot like what went on in your room last night,” Colt said.

  Evan’s cheeks heated until he realized Colt meant Kellan and Riley. He wasn’t even sure why he was blushing. Nothing had happened with Bran. “You heard about that?”

  “I heard the whole thing. They weren’t exactly quiet,” Colt said, the laughter evident in his voice.

  Evan chuckled, suddenly even more grateful he’d spent the night in Bran’s bed.

  “So you’re goin’ to the University of Oregon in September, right?” Colt asked.

  “Yeah.”

  “That’s in Eugene, right?”

  “Yep. I haven’t been there yet, but the website looks nice,” Evan said.

  “You haven’t been to the place you’re movin’?” Colt asked. His question held no judgment, but Evan felt uneasy nonetheless. He was nervous enough about moving to a new place, and this conversation was making him even more apprehensive.

  “Well, no. Not yet. I planned to find a place to live while I was here. You know, just apply for an apartment or something online,” he said.

  “You got a roommate?”

  “No. I don’t know anyone in Eugene,” Evan said.

  “Do you want one?” Colt asked.

  Evan paused. He hadn’t really thought about getting a roommate. He supposed it made sense. There would be someone else to help with bills. He figured he probably would be spending most of his time in the library anyway, so what would it matter if there was someone else in the house? “Maybe, why?”

  “Well, my original plan was to take off for Cali when we were done here. Cali’s just a place to go. One place is as good as any other. I figure if you’re headin’ to Eugene, and you need a roommate, and I’m lookin’ for a place to go and you seem like a nice enough guy, then maybe it would make sense for us to room together.”

  “Sure,” Evan said. He normally didn’t jump into important decisions so quickly, but this seemed like a good solution to a problem. He felt as though he was becoming a new person: a person who took risks and lived life rather than counting days in a dusty dead-end town.

  “Great. I know a guy in Eugene. I’ll give him a call and see if he can recommend a property or two. I’ll let you know what I hear.”

  “Great,” Evan said and realized he really meant it.

  He finished his cereal and placed the bowl in the dishwasher before walking across the house into the living room. Riley was already there. The premise of the scene today was that the two boys had been out playing basketball. Riley had bet Noah a blowjob that he would win the one-on-one game. Riley lost.

  Bran entered the room a few minutes later, hair still damp from the shower. One of the other guys was spraying down Riley with a bottle of water, making him look all sweaty and tired. Bran was next.

  Without too much preamble, the filming started. Evan tried to find an inconspicuous place to watch where he wouldn’t be in the way. He looked on as both the guys walked into the room, Riley holding a basketball and breathing hard. They were both wearing athletic shorts, but were shirtless, muscles clearly defined by the droplets of water trailing down the
ir smooth skin.

  Bran turned toward Riley, taking the ball from his hands and tossing it onto one of the chairs. “Time to pay up,” he said with a smirk, hands resting loosely on his hips.

  Riley laughed uneasily. “Oh, come on, Noah. We were just goofing around. You can’t be serious.”

  “Oh, I am dead serious. I’ve never known you to welsh on a bet before. You’re not gonna start now, are you?”

  With that, he reached for Riley and pulled him closer while pressing down on his shoulders and forcing him to his knees in front of him. Evan couldn’t peel his eyes away from the scene in front of him, unsure of what he was feeling. A hurricane of chemical signals raged through him.

  He was angry at Riley for touching Bran, but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. The sight of Riley pressing his mouth against Bran’s stomach, licking and biting as he slowly tugged on Bran’s shorts, was completely mesmerizing. Evan allowed his vision to fuzz for a moment, imagining instead that it was him on his knees in front of this man, his mouth pressed hard against tight skin, his tongue tracing the contours of Bran’s body, and his hands exploring beneath the loose cotton shorts.

  Riley freed Bran from his boxers and gently stroked against Bran’s hard shaft. Evan let his gaze travel up, taking in every twitch of muscle and every inch of skin until his gaze came to rest on Bran’s face. There was a hunger in Bran’s eyes, his pupils wide with need as his eyes locked with Evan’s. Bran never wavered.

  Evan felt itchy in his own skin, like it was too tight for his body and he might burst at any moment. He stared as Bran’s breathing became more and more labored. The pleasure was plain on Bran’s face when Riley took him into his mouth and swallowed him down to the root, his nose buried against the thatch of curls at the base of Bran’s cock.

  Through it all, Bran looked at Evan. Evan watched him, never breaking the connection between the two, wishing it were him on his knees instead.

  It was difficult to think with the scene taking place in front of him. He wanted this man, more than anything else in the world, and denying it would not do any good. As long as no one found out, it wouldn’t be too humiliating, just hard to walk away. Evan had dealt with difficulty his whole life. He could do this too.

  The world moved in slow motion, until Bran had reached his breaking point, pulling free from Riley’s mouth and stroking himself deliberately to completion. His eyes still locked with Evan’s, until the very last second when they closed, his head falling back as he groaned through his orgasm.

  Evan had never seen anything hotter in his life than what Bran looked like as he came, and didn’t even notice that Riley had lain back in one of the recliners, working on his own orgasm. The whole room faded away and left only him and Bran, now looking sated and a little drowsy. Evan was energized, though. He felt like he could run to Texas and back on pure adrenaline.

  The cameras cut and someone threw cloths to Bran and Riley to clean themselves up. Evan was back to feeling awkward, a bit embarrassed the man in front of him had gotten a blowjob. It was nothing he hadn’t seen on the website, but the reality of it was so much more visceral, more intimate. Doubt crept back in. He wasn’t sure if he should stick around. What was the protocol for something like this? Should he slap Bran on the back and say “nice scene”? Or just get the fuck out and mind his own business?

  He chose the latter. Bran probably had a lot of other things to take care of that day anyway. There were other scenes to film with the other guys. Colt, Kellan, and Ryan were filming a threesome out by the hot tub later that afternoon and Riley had another scene with Cooper in one of the bedrooms.

  Evan watched the start of the scene with Riley and Cooper before deciding that he was in the way and ducking out quietly. He decided to go for a walk. The sanctuary of the park back home was gone forever, but fresh air and tree-filtered sunlight could be found in abundance right outside his front door. It would be a shame not to take advantage of it.

  He headed out with his headphones tucked snugly in his ears, reflecting on everything that had changed in the past week. The smell of pine and the crisp crackling of needles and twigs snapping beneath his feet helped to give his mind clarity. He needed to reevaluate his entire existence. All the assumptions he had made about how his life would turn out had been upended.

  School was still a priority, his number one priority, but when he imagined what his life would look like five years from now, the picture that popped into his head was a very different image than he thought it would be.

  He imagined a little house with a backyard, a garden, and a motorcycle in his driveway. Mentally walking through his house, he saw the lab coat hanging in the front hallway where he had left it after coming home from the research lab. He walked further into the house, greeted by a dog jumping excitedly at his feet, begging for attention. Bran’s deep voice called out to him from the kitchen, and the smell of food wafted around him.

  He knew that picture would never become a reality, that Bran likely had no interest in him past this month, and even if he did, the man did not seem like the type to settle down with a picket fence and a dog. The only person he was hurting with his little fantasy was himself. As long as he didn’t get too carried away, there was no harm in it, right?

  He was beginning to realize that his desire to be normal, to fit in with a loving family and friends who cared about him, had fueled a sort of denial about what would really make him happy. He had been searching for all these years for a magic trick to instantly make everything better, but there was no magic.

  The forest opened to the cliffs that outlined the beach. A set of well-worn wooden steps carved a path through the low brush toward the water. He walked toward the ocean, listening to the sounds around him. He crossed the dry sand and sat down, then pulled off his shoes and socks before dipping his feet in the water. He wiggled his toes, burrowing into the loose sand, letting the waves splash against his shins.

  The water was cold, and felt a bit like needles piercing his skin, but the calm that overcame him with being this connected to the sea overrode any discomfort from the temperature.

  Slowly, his skin numbing slightly, he became accustomed to the cold. He stared out past the slowly rolling waves toward the calmer water at the horizon. He closed his eyes and thought of how peaceful it was here. He would be happy to stay like this forever. Quiet, serene, and tranquil, it was such a change from the quiet that had permeated his life until now. What had once been loneliness, separation, and isolation had become a quiet strength and acceptance of himself.

  When he could no longer feel his feet at all, he trudged out of the water and collapsed on the dry sand closer to the cliff. He closed his eyes and dozed on and off, content to spend the afternoon by himself. He would just be in the way at the house and had seen more than enough to know what he needed to know for tomorrow.

  He reflected on how he felt about losing his virginity in less than twenty-four hours. He searched for the feeling of anxiety he had assumed would come with it, but he felt surprisingly calm. He knew Bran would be gentle, that he would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. Although having an audience and camera crew present for his first time wasn’t the ideal situation, having Bran as his first seemed like the most natural thing in the world. He actually felt excited. He wanted to experience everything.

  The sun was starting to dip lower in the sky, signaling the closing of the day. He should probably get back for dinner and see if anyone needed anything from him before he crashed for the night. He was well rested from the night before, never having slept as well as he had in Bran’s arms. He wished he could climb back into Bran’s bed tonight, but he was not that daring. He would have to be content with the memories of the night and the excitement over the next day.

  Evan propped himself up on his elbows, looking out at the water. The tide was just starting to come in, swallowing up the sand as the waves slid across it. Soon half the beach would be submerged. His gaze swept to the side and settled on a shiny objec
t glinting in the last vestiges of daylight.

  He clambered to his feet, his muscles stiff from lying in the cooling sand. He approached the object and bent to pick it up from the foam at the water’s edge. He held the glass sphere in his hand, brushing off the wet muck and turning it over. It was heavier than he thought it would be, the green-tinted glass thick and solid. It was beautiful.

  Chapter 12

  THE day was finally drawing to an end and Bran was glad for the reprieve. He was exhausted, and if he weren’t so hungry, he would have just headed straight upstairs to bed. The morning had been emotionally draining for him. It had been more difficult than he had anticipated to have Evan there watching him with another guy. It had been awkward and uncomfortable until he had looked up.

  Seeing how turned on Evan was had sparked the lust in him and imagining it was Evan rather than Riley had him harder than ever.

  After the scene, he had gone looking for Evan, but he was nowhere to be found. He tried to keep the feeling of dread from completely fraying his nerves for the rest of the day. Was the kid alright? Freaked out? Disgusted? Bran tried not to think about it. He had a job to do and there were others counting on him to get it together and get the job done.

  He had plowed on, working with cameras and directing the guys on how to get the best angles and shots. He found that he was good at the organization, the leadership, and oddly enough, he enjoyed being on the other side of the camera more than being in front of it.

  By the time supper rolled around, his stomach was quaking with hunger. He realized he had forgotten to eat anything all day and the pungent aroma of tomato sauce and melted cheese assaulted him, making his mouth water.

  He pulled up a chair beside Colt, sitting patiently as a perfectly browned lasagna was pulled from the oven. Evan walked through the door, hair mussed and a big smile on his face. At that moment, Bran’s hunger for the cheesy pasta was completely eclipsed by his hunger for the man in front of him. He pulled out the chair on the other side of him and waited for Evan to sit next to him.