Secrets [The Angel Pack 2] (Siren Publishing Classic ManLove)

by Maggie Walsh

  Taylor knew Gabriel was watching him. He scooped more yogurt onto his spoon and brought it to his lips again, He flicked his tongue out and licked a small amount of yogurt onto the tip of his tongue, then slowly pulled his tongue back into his mouth. Taylor kept up this slow seductive eating display until the yogurt was gone. Taylor was fully aware of Gabriel’s eyes on him the whole time. “Yum that was good.”

  “Yes, yes it was,” Lexi said. “You know, little buddy, if you keep eating like that, some people may get the wrong idea.” Lexi leaned in whispering into Taylor’s ear, low enough so all the wolves in the room didn’t hear him.

  Taylor turned his head and leaned into Lexi and just as softly whispered to him, “I know.” Taylor pulled back and gave Lexi a look and a very small nod in Gabriel’s direction. Lexi understood and pulled away with a smile on his face and chuckled, shaking his head.

  Jesse cleared his throat. Taylor smirked at Lexi and winked, then turned to look at Jesse. “Is it contagious? Because I know for a fact that you, my sweet Jesse, don’t do pussy.” Lexi barked out laughing as he slapped his hand over his mouth.

  Jesse rolled his eyes and shook his head at Taylor. “Seriously, Tay, what’s up with you?”

  “Whatever do you mean?” Taylor asked, putting a hand on his chest as he feigned ignorance.

  “It’s one in the afternoon and you’re just getting up…” Jesse started but Taylor interrupted him.

  “I was out late last night, or early this morning,” he shrugged. “I was tired. I have to work late tonight, so what?”

  Some of the guys started to stand up and put their dishes in the dishwasher and then left the kitchen. “You were home before I was last night.” Jesse huffed.

  “Yes, I was, but that doesn’t mean I stayed home. I am a grown damn man, Jesse. I can go out late on a school night if I want. Just because you’re married now doesn’t mean the rest of us have to stay home, too, and live like nuns,” Taylor said, annoyed.

  “Nuns?” Micah asked, raising a brow in question.

  Jesse took Micah’s hand. “Don’t ask.”

  Seeing the love in their eyes between Jesse and Micah only added to Taylor’s anger. Why can’t I have that? What is so fucking wrong with me that no one wants me? Why is Jesse so lucky and I get shit? Why am I always Jesse’s shadow? Taylor thought to himself. “You know, Jesse, up until last night you were living in nun, but we never agreed to trade off. You come out of the nunnery and I step in,” Taylor said with a fake chuckle.

  “I gotta know,” Lexi said, laughing. “What’s nun?” Jesse rolled his eyes and huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

  “You know why they’re called nuns, right?” Taylor asked Lexi. He shook his head no. “Because they get none, nada, zilch, zero. No touching, no kissing, no licking, no sucking, no fucking, none. N-U-N, nun, and I am no damn nun.”

  “Oh damn.” Lexi laughed and smacked the counter.

  Gabriel whispered in a soft sad voice, “I thought you went to bed last night after Micah and Jesse got home?”

  Taylor turned to him and saw the hurt and sadness in Gabriel’s eyes, and it just killed him, he lost all the anger inside him. He started to feel like an asshole for putting Gabriel through this, but then he remembered that Gabriel, his mate, had no reason to be hurt. He’s the one who hadn’t said anything. It’s his fault that they weren’t together. Fuck him. And just as quickly, his anger returned. He turned away from Gabriel and looked at Micah. “So, Micah, can I borrow your computer?”

  “Sure, Taylor, you can use the one in my office right now if you want. Come on, I’ll turn it on for you.” Micah stood up and kissed Jesse on the cheek then headed out of the kitchen with Taylor following. Jesse stopped him. “Put something on first please, Taylor.”

  “Why? What’s the matter, sweet cheeks, don’t trust me and Micah alone together?” Taylor said sweetly, too sweetly.

  “No, I trust both of you more than I trust anyone, it’s just…” Jesse waved his hand at the way Taylor was dressed.

  “God, Jesse, I thought finally getting laid would help get that stick out of your ass.” Taylor huffed as he rolled his eyes. Jesse gasped at Taylor’s comment. Taylor looked at Jesse and saw the hurt in his best friend’s eyes. Good, this will make what I’m about to do easier, he thought to himself. Taylor turned to leave.

  “What are you looking for, little buddy? Internet porn?” Lexi chuckled.

  “I don’t need to look at that, I’m single, I can live it if I want.” Taylor started heading out of the kitchen.

  “Then what are you doing, Tay?” Jesse asked quietly.

  “Apartment hunting.” Taylor yelled back to him over his shoulder as he disappeared down the hallway.

  * * * *

  Micah was sitting behind his desk, tapping on his computer when Taylor slowly walked in. His arms were wrapped around his stomach and his head was lowered. Micah looked up, “Come on in, Taylor, let me just get out of your way and it’s all yours.” Micah stood up and grabbed a few files from the top of his desk.

  “No rush, Micah, it’s your office,” Taylor said shyly. It was such a contrast to the Taylor that Micah was used to that it made him look up at him again. Taylor was still standing by the door, arms wrapped around himself, head hanging low, and he was chewing his bottom lip.

  “Is everything okay, Taylor?” Micah asked, full of concern.

  “Yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” Taylor asked softly.

  “I don’t know, you just don’t seem yourself today. You seem sad. Are you okay?” Micah stepped around the desk, a few files in his hands.

  “I’m fine, Micah.” Taylor swallowed. “You wouldn’t happen to have a spare shirt in here somewhere would you?” Taylor asked softly, still looking at the floor.

  Micah smiled then walked over to the closet and pulled out a button-up shirt and brought it over to Taylor. “Here you go, buddy, it’s probably too big for you, but it’s all I have in here.”

  Taylor took the offered shirt. “Thanks, that’s okay. Beggars can’t be choosers, right? I’ll get it washed and ironed and back to you right away,” Taylor said as he put the shirt on and started buttoning it up. It was so big that it reached to mid-thigh on him and he had to roll up the sleeves.

  “No hurry, Taylor, whenever. Well, it’s all yours. Take your time.” Micah started to head out the door then stopped. “Hey, Taylor, you know you can talk to me, right? I mean, if there’s something bothering you, or about anything at all, I’m here for you. I’ll even just listen, no judgments, no interruptions if that’s what you need.”

  “Thanks, Micah. Yeah, I know. You’ve been so good to me. You’ve given me so much already, thank you, but really, I’m fine.” Taylor stepped away from Micah and went behind the desk and sat down.

  Micah just stood there watching him for a minute. “Okay, buddy, just so you know, okay? I’m here for you. And if you can’t talk to me, you know you can always talk to Jesse.”

  “I know, thanks again, Micah.” Taylor gave him a small smile and turned to the computer.

  Micah left, closing the door behind him. He turned. “I know you’ve been standing there this whole time, my sexy mate.”

  “It’s gonna take some time to get used to that. You guys can all hear us and smell us coming. Kind of freaky sometimes.” Jesse laughed.

  Micah wrapped an arm around Jesse’s waist and pulled him against his own body. Then kissed his forehead. “Something you can live with, I hope.”

  Jesse closed his eyes, taking in the scent of his man, the feel of his man’s body pressed against his. “If it means being with you, then yes, I can live with it.”

  Micah leaned down and kissed Jesse’s lips in a slow, gentle glide. “I need you, my mate,” he said against Jesse’s lips. Jesse pulled back and looked at Micah sadly.

  “What is it, baby? What has put that look on your face?” Micah asked gently with concern.

  “Taylor. I’m worried about him. Something’s going on and he won
’t tell me,” Jesse said with tears in his eyes.

  “Oh, sweetheart. It’s going to be okay. Don’t cry, baby. I can’t take it when you cry. We’ll figure out what’s up with Taylor and we’ll do whatever he needs. I promise.” Micah kissed Jesse’s forehead again.

  “I know, and thank you, Micah. Would you mind if I asked for a slight delay in our playtime, so I can go talk to him? He’s using your computer to look for apartments. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

  “He wants to move out?” Micah asked, shocked.

  “That’s what he said. I just want to see what’s going on without everyone else around,” Jesse answered.

  “Of course, baby. Go. I can wait, go help Taylor and I’ll meet you in our room when you’re done. I’ll just do some of this paperwork up there while I wait.”

  “Thank you, babe. I’ll be up as soon as I can.”

  “Take however long Taylor needs, okay? Don’t worry.” Micah kissed Jesse’s lips again in a slow, tender kiss, then pulled away. Jesse was standing there with his eyes closed and his lips parted, stunned. Micah chuckled at the sight, then released Jesse and walked past him, slapping him on the ass as he went. “I hope that’s ready for me.” Micah laughed as he walked away. Jesse regained his composure. “Tease,” he yelled to Micah, but Micah just kept walking away laughing to himself.

  * * * *

  Taylor was sitting behind Micah’s desk staring blankly at the screen. “Maybe I should just go and do what I always wanted to do. What I always dreamed of, before it’s too late. I have some money saved, I can make it to California and find a small apartment or something. Get a job, start auditioning for things. Maybe that’s what I should look up on here. Auditions in Cali. I used to be so independent. So how did I end up so dependent on Jesse that I’m so terrified to leave?” Taylor had tears in his eyes as he contemplated what he should do. “What am I gonna do? I’m so fucking scared, and I don’t have anyone I can talk to or count on. No, Jesse will help me. Jesse has always been there.” He heard a noise at the door. Blinking his eyes to hold back the tears, he turned and found Jesse standing in the doorway.

  “Why are you leaving, Tay?” Jesse asked in a whisper.

  “Do you remember when we were about sixteen and we used to spend every Friday night at your house singing and dancing and watching movies? Pretending we were in those movies, we would act out our favorite scenes. Talk about music and fashion and boys like we were teenage girls. Talking about our hopes and dreams. What we wanted for our futures,” Taylor sighed and leaned back in his chair.

  Jesse closed the door and walked to the desk, a whimsical smile on his face. “Yeah, sweetie, I remember. Those were the best times of my life.”

  Taylor smiled back at him. “You wanted to go and either try out for American Idol and get a record contract or…”

  “My own cooking show,” Jesse said, cutting Taylor off. Jesse laughed and sat down in one of the chairs in front of the desk.

  “Yeah.” Taylor laughed, too, but then turned serious. “And do you remember what I wanted?

  “Besides finding Adam Lambert and asking him to marry you?” Jesse laughed.

  Laughing, Taylor said, “That’s what I want now, hello, he’s so fucking amazing. But I mean back then, do you remember?”

  “Yeah, Tay, you wanted to go to Hollywood and have this fabulous acting career. TV, movies, the works.”

  “Yeah,” Taylor said softly and looked down at his hands.

  “What is this, Taylor? Tell me so that I can help you,” Jesse asked pleadingly. When he didn’t get an answer, Jesse continued. “I hate when you’re sad, Tay. You should never be sad. You’re too damn cute to be sad,” Jesse said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood and make Taylor smile.

  “Why am I here, Jess?” Taylor sighed. “How the hell did I get here?” Taylor said as he flung his hands up gesturing to the house. “This wasn’t my dream, this wasn’t the plan. Hell, it was never something I even dreamed existed. What happened to my dreams? What happened to my desires, my independence? My fucking life?” Taylor’s voice was rising as he went on. “This is fucking bum fuck Pennsylvania, not California. What has my life become? I lost college, I lost my home, my family. I lost my whole fucking existence. I’m living in some guy’s house that we only met like six weeks ago. He’s not even my guy, he’s yours. And not just any guy, no, a guy that can transform into a wolf. A fucking wolf. A whole pack of them. I have nothing but some clothes and some books. I have fucking nothing, Jesse! I want my fucking life. I want my life back, damn it!” Taylor dropped his face into his hands as he started to cry. Jesse rushed around the desk and wrapped his arms around Taylor, holding him tight. Jesse started whispering comforting words as he tried to calm and soothe his best friend.

  “It’s gonna be okay, Tay, I promise, it’s gonna be okay. We’ll figure this out together, like we always have,” Jesse soothed.

  Just then the door slowly opened and Gabriel peeked his head in. “Is everything okay in here? We heard yelling.”

  Taylor started to cry even more. He turned and wrapped his arms around Jesse’s waist, burying his face in his stomach.

  “It’s okay, Gabriel. Just, not now okay?” Jesse said calmly as he ran his hands down the back of Taylor’s head, caressing him. “I thought this room was sound proof,” Jesse asked.

  “It is when the door is closed all the way,” Gabriel explained.

  Jesse nodded and leaned down and kissed the top of Taylor’s head. They heard a soft growl from the door.

  “Get out! Just get the hell out, you asshole!” Taylor screamed at Gabriel and then buried his face back into Jesse’s body as the sobs took over.

  Jesse hugged him tighter and looked up at Gabriel, giving him a sad smile. Gabriel’s face was pale and tears brimmed in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. Jesse nodded at him and motioned with his head for Gabriel to leave. Gabriel pulled his head back out and closed the door.

  Jesse continued holding Taylor and caressing him until all the tears dried up and the sobs stopped. Finally after about twenty minutes Taylor sniffled and pulled away from Jesse, turning to grab a tissue off Micah’s desk. He wiped his eyes and blew his nose. “I’m sorry, Jess. I think I ruined your shirt though.”

  “No big deal, Tay. It’s only a shirt. I can always get a new one, but I can’t get a new Taylor,” he said, looking at Taylor with concern in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t know where all that came from. I was just sitting here thinking about an apartment and all of a sudden, bam, like Emeril with some spice and a raw chicken. It just hit me and I couldn’t stop it,” Taylor sighed and sat back in the chair.

  “It’s okay, Tay. A lot has happened in the past few months. New town, new jobs, new home. It can get overwhelming sometimes. Plus all the crap going on with me and Micah. It’s a lot to take in,” Jesse said as he smoothed some hair out of Taylor’s eyes. Taylor just looked at him in shock, eyes wide, brows furrowed, mouth slightly open. “Your hair is getting so long again. Are you letting it grow out or are you gonna cut it?” Jesse asked.

  Taylor shook his head in confusion, then swallowed and answered Jesse as evenly as he could, “I’m growing it out.”

  “That would be a nice change. I used to love when you left your hair long. It’s so beautiful,” Jesse said with a small smile.

  “I just sat here and bawled my eyes out for like, what, twenty minutes, after bursting my insides out and you’re asking about my hair?” Taylor asked in shock.

  “I’m sorry, Tay,” Jesse said softly and looked at the floor. He turned and walked around to the front of the desk and sat in one of the chairs again. “I just wasn’t sure what to say and I thought that if I tried to lighten the mood a little, that it might help. I’m sorry.” Jesse hung his head in shame.

  Taylor sighed heavily, now feeling like an ass. “It’s all right, Jess. You’re right. A little convo always helps. I just have this killer headache, that won’t go away, but thanks.
”

  “Another headache? They seem to be coming more frequently. Maybe you should go see a doctor,” Jesse said with concern.

  “No, it’s okay, it’ll pass, it always does, you know that.” Jesse nodded at him.

  “You know, Micah told me that Gabriel is an amazing listener,” Jesse said happily.

  Taylor’s jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out again in surprise. “I just sat there pouring my heart out to you, my best friend, and you want me to go lay it all out to Gabriel. A man I hardly even know mind you. Thanks for the advice Jess, I’ll get right on that. Not,” Taylor said sarcastically and turned to the computer, angrier now than when he left the kitchen.

  “No, Tay, that’s not what I meant. God why can’t I say anything right with you today,” Jesse said in frustration. “I just thought, well, you know?” Jesse said uncomfortably.

  “No, I don’t know, Jess. What did you mean? Let me guess. You did your good deed for the day. You sat here and put up with my hysterical rant and snotty nose all over your shirt, but now you want to go back to Micah, your mate, and go fuck like rabbits. I get it. Go, Jess. Go get laid, by the only man you’ll ever fuck again for the rest of your life. Your now very long life. Don’t worry, my bullshit isn’t important. It’s just the hysterics of a drama queen. I’ll be good, I promise.” He looked at the computer and started typing.

  “That’s not it, Tay, that’s not what I meant…” Jesse started pleadingly, but Taylor cut him off.

  “It’s really okay, Jesse.” He gave Jesse a big bright Taylor is fine and happy smile. He had gotten so good at painting it on his face when he didn’t feel it over the years. So good that he could even fool Jesse. “I get it. You just got claimed last night and it’s new and exciting and your hormones are raging, and you just can’t keep your hands off each other. It’s okay. I mean it. I really needed to get all that out and cry my face off and I did. And you were there for me, and I thank you for that. I appreciate your help, but I am really fine now, honey. I promise.”