Jonny's Redemption (Gemini Group Book 7)

by Riley Edwards

  He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and dialed Bobby. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t answer. He disconnected and sent a text.

  Where are you?

  Just to be thorough, while he waited for Bobby’s reply he searched the studio.

  No Bobby.

  His phone beeped with a notification and his blood heated.

  I can’t do this.

  Jonny tapped out a new message.

  Baby, please tell me where you are.

  Her response was instant as if she’d been waiting for his reply.

  I thought I could. But I can’t. It follows me wherever I go.

  He wanted to ask her what followed her and he would as soon as she was sitting in front of him. What he wasn’t going to do was argue with her via text. He also wasn’t going to prolong finding her but he knew she wasn’t going to tell him. Which meant he’d find alternate means.

  Are you safe?

  Jonny was back in his truck driving down to Chasin’s when she finally answered.

  You know how to gut a girl, Jonny Spencer.

  He parked in front of Evie and Chasin’s and had his fingers moving over the screen explaining that wasn’t an answer when she texted back.

  Yes.

  Chasin had the front door open by the time Jonny made it to the porch.

  “I was getting ready to call you,” Chasin said and stepped to the side to allow Jonny passage. “Evie said Bobby blew out of here about fifteen minutes ago.”

  Fifteen minutes. Where could Bobby have driven in fifteen minutes? A place where she was safe? She obviously wasn’t driving if she was texting him. There was no chance Bobby was behind the wheel fiddling with her phone. He’d heard her get into heated debates about texting and driving. She was firmly in the ‘texting while driving should be a felony, not a ticket’ camp. So he was positive she’d stopped somewhere.

  Jonny ignored the tingle of awareness he felt every time he entered Chasin’s house. A home that once belonged to Nixon’s father. The place held some of Jonny’s best memories but also one of his worst. Chasin had killed a man right in the very spot Jonny now stood. A man who’d beaten Bobby, terrorized Evie, and had shot Holden. He didn’t understand why Evie had insisted on buying the house and property from Nix. More, he couldn’t believe Nixon had agreed. But he had, and now Chasin and Evie owned the Swagger farm. And Evie had restored the old farmhouse well past the glory of days gone by.

  He caught sight of Evie sitting on the couch. Her hands were on her belly, red-rimmed eyes pointed Jonny’s way.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I overreacted. Damn pregnancy hormones. I should’ve handled it better but when she told me that son of a bitch belted her and she couldn’t sleep on her back for a week because it hurt so bad I lost it. She finally opened up to me and I threw drama at her. Then she took off and I couldn’t stop her.”

  Fresh tears hit Evie’s eyes and Chasin moved across the foyer into the living room and sat next to his woman. Evie burrowed close and shook her head as if she were trying to dislodge the same vision Jonny had—a beautiful little blonde girl being beaten by the man who was supposed to love and care for her.

  Motherfucker.

  Jonny was not of the same mind as Chasin. He didn’t give a shit how Bobby’s father was living—it wasn’t near the punishment he deserved and Jonny couldn’t let it stand. But that was a topic for another day, a day where his woman hadn’t run from him, and Evie wasn’t bawling her eyes out.

  “There was nothing you could’ve done to stop her from leaving,” Jonny told Evie. “And whatever your response was, pregnant or not, it was honest. It was real and it was raw. It was exactly what Bobby needed to see. She has to understand that she’s found her family, a real family, and the people around her love deeply. You wouldn’t have reacted the way you did if you didn’t.”

  A real family.

  Goddamn, if that didn’t hit home, straight to the core of all his issues. Jonny had been floating through life with no real family. And that was by design, because family didn’t lie to each other. So he’d kept everyone at bay fighting the bonds Nix, Chasin, Jameson, Weston, Alec, and Holden had been attempting to deepen.

  That was something Jonny was going to rectify. But first, he needed to find Bobby, therefore, he made a call to the one person who could help him.

  He dialed McKenna.

  “Hi, Jonny.”

  “Hey, Micky. Do you have time to do me a favor?”

  “Of course. What do you need?”

  Okay, he needed to scratch Micky, Evie, Kennedy, Silver, and most recently Charleigh onto the list of people who had tried to pull Jonny fully into the fold. Macy knew Jonny too well to try. His sister-in-law had long since learned Jonny preferred to keep his distance and had stopped reaching out.

  Damn, he was a dick.

  “Can you trace Bobby’s cell and tell me where she is?”

  “Sure.”

  Jonny didn’t miss the amusement in Micky’s tone. The irony wasn’t lost on him. Countless times in the past Jonny had left the room when Micky was working her hacking magic. Bound by oath, he couldn’t ask her how or where she dug up her intel. It was an unspoken decree that had protected them all. Now there he was, asking Micky to break the law.

  “Um. I don’t understand.”

  “Understand what?” Jonny asked. “Can you not track her phone?”

  “Jonny, Jonny, Jonny,” she tsked. “Of course I can track her phone and I have. What I don’t understand is why you’re asking me to when she’s at your house.”

  “My house? Are you sure?”

  “That’s where her signal’s pinging. And since I know Bobby doesn’t have the capability to shoot her signal around the world and mask her location I’m positive she’s there. I could access her camera and double-check but that’s highly invasive and I don’t like doing that to friends unless I have to.”

  “No, don’t do that. Thanks, I owe you one.”

  “Teammates don’t owe each other,” she chastised. “But you’re welcome. Anything else?”

  “Yeah, one more thing and no rush on this. I need everything you can find on Elmer, Kathy, and EJ Layne.”

  “Layne? Like Bobby Layne?”

  “Yes. And I appreciate it if you kept whatever you find to yourself.”

  “That’s a slippery slope, Jonny. I hope you know what you’re doing.”

  “You wouldn’t think that if you knew what I know. I don’t know if I’ll need to use the intel you find, but I need to be prepared in case I do.”

  Jonny had to know what kind of man beat his children. He knew the kind that cheated and lied, but Calvin had never laid a hand on him, his brother, or his mother. Jonny’s abuse came in a different form. One wasn’t worse than the other. They were equally damaging. Equally horrifying.

  “Is Bobby okay?”

  He thought about how to answer that. The old Jonny would’ve brushed the question off.

  But Micky was family.

  “No, she’s not. But she will be. And before you ask, the reasons why she is not okay are not mine to share, they’re hers. So I’m gonna ask you to respect that and not ask.”

  “I’ll get you what you need.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Anytime.”

  Jonny disconnected and focused his attention on the couple.

  “She’s at my house. I’m going there now.”

  Jonny gave Chasin a lift of his jaw and turned to leave. Evie calling his name made him stop and face her.

  “Something about Bobby you need to understand.”

  “What’s that?”

  “She’s the most loyal person I know. She’s a good friend. She gives so much love to everyone but she doesn’t know how to accept it.”

  Christ, that hit home, too.

  “We’ll change that,” he promised.

  “No, Jonny. I’ve been trying for years. Today Macy told Bobby she’s been waiting for Bobby for a long time. Well, I’ve been waiting for yo
u.”

  “What?”

  “You’re the one I’ve been waiting for. The man who’s gonna show Bobby how to love.”

  Jonny’s body tensed, his eyes drifted closed as the heaviness of Evie’s trust blanketed him.

  This was the one thing Jonny knew he could not fail.

  He couldn’t let Bobby down. No matter what, he had to push through his insecurities and be the man she needed.

  No. Failure was not an option.

  16

  I was sitting on Jonny’s back deck staring at nothing. Not because there wasn’t something to look at. There was plenty to take in. Jonny took pride in his home. In his yard. The grass was green and lush, there were flower beds and a birdbath. There was a great place where he could build a swing set for his kids one day. The woods behind his house offered privacy and when the sun set over them his yard turned magical.

  I was staring at nothing because I had no idea why I was there.

  I shouldn’t have run in the first place. It was stupid, but I panicked. And this was where the confusion came in—if I was running because I was embarrassed and scared, why had I run to Jonny’s house? Why had I fled Chasin and Evie’s farm with a burning need to get away from everyone before they all found out the truth, straight to the house of the man I needed to run the farthest from?

  Now that I’d calmed down I could admit I overreacted. Chasin had known about my past for a long time and he hadn’t said anything. He hadn’t come between me and Evie. He hadn’t made her fire me. Chasin had invited me into his life and family. He included me.

  I was just so shocked and horrified he knew I couldn’t think straight.

  If you’ve calmed down, why didn’t you tell Jonny where you were when he texted?

  Because I needed time to figure out why my only thought while I was escaping was to run to Jonny.

  And now I’ve lost my mind.

  Perfect.

  Super.

  What am I supposed to do now?

  Text him where you are, drama queen.

  Awesome, now I was sitting on Jonny’s back deck arguing with myself.

  I heard footsteps crunch on the gravel and turned to see Jonny walking up.

  Thank the good Lord in my lunacy I’d hadn’t voiced my thoughts.

  Right, because he doesn’t already know you’re crazy.

  I seriously needed to get a handle on my internal rumblings.

  Jonny climbed the stairs, took a few steps on the wood planks, then stopped and leaned against the railing. He said not a word. But he didn’t look mad. His face was soft, his blue eyes warm the way they got when he was happy. Which was weird but I wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If he wasn’t mad at me for blowing him off, I wasn’t going to bring up what kind of bitch I’d been to him.

  “I overreacted,” I admitted. “Chasin told me he knew I had a juvenile record and I…I don’t know what happened. I panicked. But it was more than that. It was like there was a rope around my neck and it was tightening. I couldn’t breathe. Then this overwhelming shame came over me and I needed to get away from it so I ran away.”

  Jonny didn’t say anything; he just looked at me as if he were hanging on my every word. Like he cared about what I had to say.

  Not with disgust.

  Not with anger.

  I’d been stupid thinking I could hold back parts of myself from him. Secrets always had a way of coming out. Some took longer than others, but when the truth was revealed trust was broken—the damage was done.

  “I was running and I didn’t understand what I was running from,” I babbled. “I don’t know why I came here. I don’t even remember driving here. I guess I needed to feel safe and this is the only place where I feel whole. Where I can be me. It’s where you are.

  “I don’t know why I didn’t tell you I was here. That was a shitty thing to do. I’m sorry, Jonny, I shouldn’t have overreacted.”

  Jonny pushed off the railing and slowly closed the distance until he was standing in front of me offering me his hand. I hoped that meant he forgave me for my foolishness. As soon as I placed my hand in his, I had my answer. He hauled me to my feet and Jonny’s arms wrapped around me. One went low around my waist while the other cradled the back of my head. I could hear the thumping of Jonny’s heart. Strong and sure and safe. I was always safe with Jonny.

  “I forgot,” I whispered.

  “Forgot what?”

  “That I’m always safe with you. I should’ve told you but I was afraid.”

  God, when was I going to stop being the ratty little girl who cared what other people thought?

  “Afraid of me?”

  “Afraid that if you knew the truth about me, the real truth, not the circumstances I grew up in, but the things I did, you’d know I wasn’t good enough for you.”

  Silence fell heavy and hard. I shoved aside all the insecurities that plagued my thoughts. The uncertainties. The fears that were always in the forefront telling me that if people knew the truth they’d know I was nothing more than backwoods trash. They wouldn’t want to be near me.

  Fear that was so real I woke up every morning readying for battle. I put on my designer armor, caked on my makeup, styled my hair, and I didn’t leave my house until my mask of perfection was in place. Anything less and people would know how worthless I was. But Jonny didn’t see me as worthless. Evie had never treated me with anything but kindness. Chasin hadn’t and he knew about my past.

  Shouldn’t that have been enough?

  God, why wasn’t that enough?

  “Why can’t I let it go?” I asked.

  “Same reason I can’t.” Jonny’s chest expanded with a deep breath and slowly collapsed as he exhaled. “We’re both holding onto the past because it’s what we know—simple, clear-cut. It’s easier to hold onto the hurt and anger than to forgive. Forgiveness means we have to step into the unknown and move on. It means we have to admit we have value. Our feelings matter. Then we have to forgive ourselves for the role we played and let it go.”

  Forgiveness sounded scary.

  “Are you ready to forgive?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. But for the first time in my life, I have a place I wanna be. A place where my father and brother are not welcome. I want to be man enough to guide us into the future. I want to be strong enough to follow you into the unknown.”

  He said he didn’t know but he was ready to move on. The question was, was I ready? Elmer, Kathy, and EJ should’ve been meaningless to me. Physically, I’d left them behind a long time ago yet I still allowed the three of them to control me and my future.

  I was not in Shady Hollow. I wasn’t in Kentucky. I’d made something of myself. I’d earned everything I had including the man who was holding me safe like I was the most important thing in the world to him.

  What was I waiting for? Why was I so scared to move on?

  I closed my eyes and listened to Jonny’s heart—my heart, he’d given it to me. The beat so steady, soothing, and mine. I was where I belonged.

  Forgiveness didn’t mean I had to go back. It didn’t mean I was excusing their behavior. It was a choice—my choice. Forgiveness was about me. My future. My life. My peace of mind.

  I’d found my place and like Jonny said, Elmer, EJ, and Kathy were not welcome. All I had to do was shut the door and be done.

  Forgive and move on.

  Their actions were not mine. Whatever led Elmer to be the kind of man who neglected and beat his children was not my fault. Kathy’s inability to be a mother was not because I was an unruly, unlovable, bad child. EJ turning out to be his father’s son wasn’t my problem. They were mean, rotten people, and I was not them.

  I was not them.

  My eyes snapped open and the truth hit me hard and fast.

  I wasn’t them.

  “I forgive them,” I wheezed. “For everything. I don’t want to carry their burdens anymore. They were never mine but I dragged them with me everywhere I went. I couldn’t get away f
rom them because I kept bringing them along. Me, not them. They haven’t been in my life for a long time but I brought them with me everywhere I went.”

  I stopped speaking and waited. Not for Jonny to say something but to see if I felt different. Oddly, nothing changed. I didn’t feel lighter. I didn’t feel a weight lift. I didn’t feel the anger slip from my heart. I just felt like me.

  Maybe I’d done it wrong.

  “Damn. My girl, so strong. So brave.” Jonny wrapped me up tighter in his arms and I melted into his embrace. “Do you know how much I admire you?”

  I shook my head because I didn’t but also because my throat was tingling and I was afraid to talk.

  “The way you love is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed. And knowing that you have that in you despite how you grew up says a lot about you. All of it good. Your love, your loyalty, your friendship—you give it freely. I’d say you’re not them but I’d rather say you’re you. Beautiful, smart, funny, giving, wise, cute, sexy. You are not what they could’ve made you become. You’re too strong to be that. You needed to leave them to become who you were always meant to be, the woman who you just are. You didn’t learn to be her, you were simply born this way.”

  I couldn’t catch my breath. It was painful and erratic and I could feel Jonny’s praise blazing through me. Every word he said felt like a needle piercing my skin, the meaning behind those words the thread.

  He was stitching me up.

  Sewing all those old gaping wounds closed.

  I actually, honestly, genuinely believed Jonny meant those things.

  I was a good friend and I was goddamn smart.

  No, I hadn’t done it wrong. I forgave, but it wasn’t about the weight of my family’s transgressions being lifted.

  It was this—letting go of the insecurities that had been drilled into me by those who had done me wrong. By forgiving, I had absolved myself of the punishment of their wrongdoings.

  “I believe you.”

  “That’s good, baby, because I speak the truth.”

  “Are you going to let me return the favor and believe me when I tell you all the reasons why I think you’re a good man? How smart I think you are. How strong and brave and honorable.”