by Unknown
“Okay, Em. I’ll be back in a bit. If you’re hungry, well, you can try and find some food in the kitchen. Good luck with that,” he says chuckling.
“I’m fine, Lucas. I’m not really hungry. Craving a cigarette like a motherfucker though,” I sigh, realizing that my pack is at Aiden’s house, along with my iPod dock. Out of my few belongings, those are two of my favorites. At least I still have my iPod though. That’s something.
“I don’t like seeing you smoke, Em. It’s bad for you,” he says matter of fact.
“Okay, dad,” I say sarcastically, agitated by my nicotine craving.
Okay, maybe that came out a little harsher than I meant it too. I am really not a morning person. The caffeine hasn’t kicked in yet, so I’m sounding like an mega-bitch.
“Sorry,” I mutter, embarrassed by attitude.
“Nothing to be sorry about, Em. I know you’re having a hard time,” he says coming back towards me.
He leans towards me, kissing my forehead as he ruffles my hair.
God, Lucas! Why do you have to do things like that? You’re killing me here!
“Just relax and I’ll let you know when it’s time to get ready for work, okay?” he says looking deeply at me.
I nod at him, at a loss for words. I feel a sense of disappointment wash over me. I know that I would be with Lucas right now if it weren’t for Aiden. It’s just that I fell for him first. I could’ve easily fallen for Lucas if Aiden was never in the picture.
I sigh, realizing that I could’ve been happy with Lucas. I might never have known what it was like to fully love but sometimes ignorance is bliss.
He kisses me again, leaving me alone to ponder over my torn feelings. Love triangles are just the worst, I think before taking another sip of coffee.
I reluctantly put on my clothes from the day before, painstakingly putting on what little makeup I have left in my purse.
I look at my new touchscreen phone, as Lucas describes every feature, helping me get the hang of it. I wish I could pay attention to him but I feel kind of zoned out right now. I am not looking forward to going into work today. I need a day off to help with the grieving period. Getting over Aiden is like a full time job.
If Lucas notices my quiet behavior, he doesn’t mention anything. He politely carries on the conversation, as I nod and murmur to whatever he says. Before I know it, it’s time to leave and Lucas decides to entwine his fingers in mine as we walk to the bar. I’m too tired and not up for an argument or hurt feelings, so I let him continue his hold on me. I won’t lie, it is nice feeling his soft hand against mine. His skin is smooth, not calloused or marred like someone else I know.
As Lucas and I walk into the bar, we notice how dead it is inside. We see Leo behind the bar and we go over to greet him before our shift.
“Well, if you guys haven’t already noticed, the bar’s pretty much a ghost town today. I was going to let Leslie off for the night but she said she needed the cash. That means you have the night off Emma,” Leo says to me.
“Oh, um, okay. Thanks Leo,” I say to him, secretly jumping for joy.
I really had no desire to work today. I wanted to just wallow in self-pity and eat Ben and Jerry’s, crying over Aiden. Throw in some bad rom-coms and I’m all set for the night.
I look over at Lucas and he has that pouty look on his face that I’ve grown accustomed to. He’s so ridiculous. You’d think he’d want some time away from me. We live and work together now for God’s sake!
“Lucas, you almost ready to punch in?” Leo asks him seriously.
Um, is there an underlying warning in his tone? I hope the two of them have been getting along since their talk last night. Lucas assured me that were okay but I wonder. I really hope that I didn’t cause turmoil between them and Lucas wasn’t trying to spare my feelings.
“Yep,” says to him, now smiling.
Leo nods his head at his response, walking away from us. Lucas looks at me, that classic puppy dog look on his face once again. He pulls me off to the side of the bar, wrapping his arms around my shoulders. He looks down at me, his eyes thoughtful.
“What’s up?” I ask him.
“I wish you had to work tonight with me. I’m going to miss you, Em,” he says sadly.
I look up at him, arching my eyebrow. Lucas is so dramatic. We’ll see each soon enough when he gets off work. It seems like somebody has already formed an even stronger attachment to me.
“Oh, settle down, Lucas. It’s only for a few hours and then we can watch a movie or something later,” I say, trying to pacify him.
“Fine,” he says sighing. “But let me have one thing before you go,” he says seriously.
I furrow my brow, curious as to what he wants.
He leans down closer to my mouth, breathing warm air onto my lips. He licks his lips, drawing me in hypnotically with the action. He moves his hand up my neck, gently caressing my sensitized flesh. He pulls me closer to him, pressing his moistened lips to mine. He moves them back and forth gently, biting my lower lip.
Jesus, I know I should stop this because we’re at work but I just can’t. Not yet. My willpower is gone and I’m done fighting him. His lips are so forceful, yet soft simultaneously. I must say, the guy is fucking skilled when it comes to making out. He’s knows exactly what to do.
He teases me with his tongue, moaning into my mouth. He doesn’t press our bodies together thankfully, because I think that would just push us both over the edge. Plus, I’m sure he’s sporting major wood and that would be way too embarrassing for both parties.
I hear a voice being cleared behind us, and I pull quickly away from him, our breathing labored. I look up into furious, hatred filled eyes. Eyes so green and filled with pain that I have to look away and at his mouth instead. I flinch at the expression I just saw, guilty as hell for being seen practically swapping spit with Lucas.
“I need to talk to you,” Aiden says, his voice harsh as his eyes rake over me.
“You have the absolute best timing. If you couldn’t tell, we were busy before you interrupted,” Lucas says, looking sexually frustrated.
I cringe in horror and embarrassment. Fucking hell!
“Emma,” Aiden says, his anger fading slightly, desperation tinting his voice.
One word and that’s all I need. I nod at him and turn to Lucas. He looks irritated as hell. Hey, I’m sorry but this is between me and Aiden. I thought that I didn’t need finality from Aiden, but I do to make this work with Lucas.
“I’m going to go talk to him out back and then I’m going home. I’ll see you later, ok? You can text me,” I say to him, silently pleading with him to not freak out.
He blows out a harsh breath, his expression torn.
“Yeah, I get it. Closure and all that good stuff,” he says finally understanding.
He pecks me quickly on the lips and I flinch. He notices my reaction and frowns at me. Well what did you expect, Lucas? You just added fuel to the flame by kissing me again in front of Aiden. Welcome to the fire.
I look over at Aiden, noticing his fists clenched by his sides. I inwardly groan, knowing exactly how this little chat is going to start out.
“Let’s go,” I say to Aiden, ignoring Lucas’s eyes on us.
We make our way outside to the back of the bar and my hands start shaking. I just want to get this over with, let him explain himself and then be done with him for good. Treat this just like a Band-Aid covering a nasty wound. Do it quickly and let the healing process begin.
The back door to the bar shuts behind us, as I turn towards Aiden. His eyes look like those of a predator, waiting for just the right moment to attack its prey. I swallow, a thick knot forming in my throat. This is so not good. I can only imagine what is about to happen.
I start to open my mouth to break the tension, when he slams my body up against the wall of the bar behind the dumpster. My shoulder blades hit the brick roughly, and I whimper in pain but more so in shock. My eyes widen, my limbs frozen in astonishm
ent, unable to push him away and stop him.
Eyes still blazing, he crushes his lips to mine, bruising them with unbridled force. We both moan into each other’s mouth, as he pins my hands above me, shackling them with his hand against the wall.
I’m completely helpless, at his mercy. For some reason I don’t stop him. I don’t know why but I can’t. Everything that has happened between us is forgotten. Lucas, Jessica, nothing matters but us right now.
Our teeth clash together, our tongues fighting each other for dominance. His tongue wins by a landslide, going over every inch of my mouth. He uses his other hand and grabs my ass, lifting me up in the air. He presses his length against my center and I moan at the pressure.
He grinds against me, biting my lower lip roughly. He pulls away from my mouth and looks into my eyes, still moving against me.
I close my eyes, unable to look into them any longer. It’s too painful. I can practically see into his soul and I don’t want to.
He releases his hold on my wrists, moving his hand between us. I hear him unzip his pants and I squeeze my eyes tighter. I want to look at him but I know if I do, I’ll regret it. He’ll see the love in my eyes and make me vulnerable. I can’t give him that power. Not again.
I feel him move my panties to the side, brushing his thumb against my clit. I shiver from the contact, hating him and myself for what I can’t control. Before I can think another thought, he thrusts into me, filling me entirely. I hear him breathing loudly, as he aggressively pumps into me. No gentleness, no emotional connection between us, just pure fucking.
My chest feels heavy, a sharp pain searing my heart. Tears start to leak out of my eyes, the salty liquid uncontrollably running down my cheeks. I clamp my mouth shut, afraid that he will realize my agony.
I thought I wanted him in any form but not like this. If I didn’t love him so fucking much I would gladly end this punishment.
His grunts get louder, more violent, and I can’t help but whimper. I feel him halt his movements and I crack my eyes open. I look at him, astonished by the change in his eyes. No more hatred clouding them. They are filled with regret and…love?
No, my tears must be making my vision hazy. He can’t possibly feel that way about me.
He moves his mouth to my ear, thrusting into me more gently and slowly. His pace agonizingly sweet and almost tender.
“I’m sorry. So fucking sorry, baby. Please forgive me, Emma,” he says in anguish, his voice breaking.
He moves his mouth to my lips, brushing them softly. He slowly rains kisses on my eyelids, while caressing my jaw with his fingertips. He looks deeply into my eyes, tears reflected in his now too. I clench my inner walls around him, bringing my hands around to cup the back of his neck. He moans, his eyes darkening. I urge him closer, giving him all of me. He thrusts into me, resting his forehead against mine while continuing to look into my eyes. I whimper loudly, knowing how close I am to exploding around him.
“Please. I need this. More than anything in the world. Give this to me,” he whispers, his tone almost pleading.
I open my mouth, unable to control the pleasure he’s making me feel. I thrust myself against him and he grabs my ass in his hands. My eyes roll back into my head and I bite my lip, knowing that I’m about to come. He brings me closer to him and I rest my head against his shoulder, as I feel my release.
“That’s it, baby. Just like that,” he whispers soothingly.
I moan loudly into his neck, my body jerking against his as I twitch around him. I shiver, spasms racking my body.
“You’re so beautiful, Emma. I love when you lose yourself,” he murmurs.
I twist against him, the longest orgasm I’ve ever had making me uncontrollably shake. I whimper, my climax reaching its completion. My inner muscles release around him, my limp body sagging against his. I kiss his neck, not knowing what to do or say after what just happened.
“Thank you. Fuck,” he says panting.
He continues plunging into me, his cock growing even harder within me.
“Emma…fuck, Emma!” he groans, frantically piercing me.
I feel warm liquid in between my legs, his moans filling the air around us. My eyes snap open in alarm, trying to comprehend what I just felt.
He keeps sinking into me, whispering my name over and over. He jerks one last time, his head collapsing against my shoulder. With him still inside of me, we slide downwards, his knees on the ground and my legs still around his waist.
“Love you. Love you so fucking much, Emma,” he says into my neck, his body shaking.
My eyes widen in alarm, the fog of lust dissipating from my brain.
What the fuck did he just say to me? Did he say that he loves me? Me, the other woman who he just fucked up against a wall? Oh my God, what have I done?
I shove him, both of us falling backwards from the action. I look down at him and notice that he’s bare, no condom in sight. I move my hand down to my center, feeling the thick liquid in between my legs, slowly running down my thighs.
He looks at me, vulnerability and hurt radiating from him, as he zips up his pants hastily. I crawl closer to him, anger seeping from my entire being. I raise my hand in the air, slapping him hard against his cheek. His eyes widen in surprise and utter confusion.
“How could you? You didn’t even use anything and you came inside of me! You son-of-a-bitch!” I yell at him, raising my hand to repeat my earlier action.
Before I’m able to redden his skin again, he grabs my wrist, pressing my palm against his cheek.
“I love you, Emma. Listen to me…” he pleads.
“You love me?” I laugh harshly. “We barely fucking know each other and you say that?”
I blow out a harsh breath, trying to gain a facade of composure. I pull my dress down, rising up from my knees. He rises too, looking wounded, almost lost.
I look deeply at him, trying not feel anything for this man in front of me. I should tell him how I really feel. Hurt him like he hurt me.
“If this is your idea of love, you lying to my fucking face, then you can keep your love,” I spit at him. “You’re married for fuck’s sake and I was the other woman. Never in a million years did I think that I would be in this position. My God, you fucking make me sick!” I yell.
He flinches, his body recoiling from my harsh words. I see his walls come up, his eyes darkening once again.
“You were right all along,” I say looking at him.
He looks at me intently, hurt and puzzled by my comment.
“You were right when you said that my opinion of you would change when I found out all your secrets. I hate you. I fucking hate you with every fiber of my being. You’re not half the man I thought you were,” I say, twisting the knife in deeper.
I truly hate this man. Hate him for the way he makes me feel. Hate him for still loving him.
“My husband was though and you sure as hell aren’t in the same league as him. You’re nothing, Aiden. You could never be Jeremiah,” I say, my voice finally breaking.
I don’t think I’ve ever said anything so vicious. I’m trying to open a wound, make him bleed. I have a feeling that I’ve succeeded.
He looks down at me, eyes blazing. He shoves me back up against the brick wall, pinning my wrists with his hands, squeezing my flesh.
“You’re right. Everything you just said was true. I’m a not a whole man. I never will be. But you know what? I don’t give a fuck, because I’m man enough for you, Emma. You need me, just like I need you. You may hate me and fight me but I don’t care. I’ll love you enough for the both of us,” he says severely.
“You want to know why I love you? Because here,” he says, removing one of his hands from my wrist and placing it against my rapidly beating heart, “right here we are the same. You think I don’t know you? Everything I need to know is right here, beating, and pumping life into me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone or anything. When I first laid eyes on you, I knew you could heal me, break me, with
just the snap of your fingers. And you have.”
“Hit me, curse me, anything to show me you detest me. Anything you need to do to feel better…I can take it. But promise me, whatever you do, don’t give up on us. It might not be our time right now but it will be. If you run or push me away I’ll just find you, Emma, you know I will. And when I do, you’ll be wearing my ring on your finger and my child will be growing inside of you.”
I suck in a harsh breath, trying to come to terms with what I just heard him say. I swallow deeply while his eyes penetrate mine, waiting for a response. I try to recover, my slack jaw now functioning properly. I would melt at his words if they meant shit to me. Jessica floats to the front of my brain, killing any second thoughts about my hatred for him.
“Won’t that be kind of difficult to have two wives? You do recall that polygamy is illegal? Besides, you’re forgetting that I’ve moved on. Lucas can give me what I need,” I bite off.
Shit, I know I’m baiting him by trying to make him jealous but I can’t help it. His last comment about marriage and children hit me right in the gut. He obviously doesn’t believe in the severity of marriage like I do. Otherwise he wouldn’t be throwing around proposals of marriage like they were nothing. They’re not just words to me. They mean something special.
His eyes turn to slits, practically burning me alive.
“I can make you love me or just love you enough for the both of us. You’re choice, Emma. I will do whatever it takes to have you. Just don’t let Lucas touch you again. I’ll fight for you but if you fuck him, I might not be so forgiving. Don’t push me too far. You won’t like the consequences and I sure as hell won’t like the man I’ll become,” he warns me.
“How dare you threaten me?! I can do whatever and whoever I fucking want to. Are you that delusional that you think that what I have for you could ever be love? Lucas is young and more than willing and I think I’ll have a lot a fun teaching him things. That is, if I haven’t already started my lessons,” I say nastily.
“You’re asking for it, aren’t you? You may have my heart but you don’t have my balls, Emma. You want to dish shit out, then do it. Just don’t think I’ll just stand here while you rip my heart out. Lucas might have to pay for your bad decisions. Would a broken jaw still be attractive to you? Don’t forget that I know what you like, Emma. There’s not a much he can do with a broken jaw,” he says condescendingly.