The Scale (Martha's Way)

by Mika Jolie

  Jason left her side to join Adam at the bar. She watched them work as if they were at Vapors fixing everyone a drink.

  “A beer, Blake,” Jason yelled out to his friend who nodded without breaking his attention from the pool table.

  Just then a beautiful African-American woman with long braids lined with gray streaks walked into the room. The woman appeared to be in her early to mid-fifties wearing very little makeup. But her skin was wrinkle-free and glowing.

  “That’s Rosa. Claire’s mom,” Jason said in a low tone.

  She nodded. “I gathered.”

  Everyone abandoned what they were doing to greet Claire’s mother. Adam caught Lily’s wrist and brought her to him, instantly making her a part of the greeting committee. Minka remained still, not quite sure what to do. Jason returned to her side and handed her a glass of wine.

  “Come, I’ll introduce you.”

  “I don’t want to intrude.”

  He smiled at her. “Nonsense. You’re Keely’s sister. You’re family.”

  She nodded. But his words continued to cause her grief for they did not reflect her relationship with him. Jason made a quick introduction between her and Rosa, who pulled her in her arms and hugged her.

  “You are the woman Charles mentioned. Jason has done well,” she whispered in Minka’s ear before releasing her.

  “We’re only friends.”

  Rosa dismissed her claim with a warm smile. “I also heard from Luc and Marjorie.” She winked. “They love you.”

  Minka’s skin grew warm. “They are very nice, but Jason and I are…” Minka let her words trail off. There was no point in continuing. From the wide grin on the woman’s face, it was obvious her mind was made up.

  The older woman patted her shoulder. “You two will figure it out. Just know Jason is like a son to me. Treat him well. But, more importantly, thank you for bringing him back home.”

  Minka opened her mouth to argue, to point out she had nothing to do with this trip. But Rosa had moved past her to the rest of the group. “Behave, children. I’m going to go to Menemsha and meet Charles so I can give you young birds the house for the weekend.” She leaned over and placed a kiss on Minka’s cheek. “I hope to see you again back here.”

  Weakened by Rosa’s kindness, Minka could only nod. “It was a pleasure meeting you. You have a lovely daughter and home.”

  Rosa was once again surrounded by all of Jason’s friends, including her sister. After countless hugs, kisses and shouts of love, Rosa walked out of the room promising to see everyone again soon. Minka was still smiling when she caught Jason staring at her.

  A feeling of vulnerability swept over her. Not sure what to do with herself under the intensity of his gaze, she brushed a few curls away from her face. He smiled at the motion.

  “You’re so gone,” her sister whispered in her ear. “I won’t say I told you so, but I did. I still love both of you though.”

  With a grin, Keely walked past Minka, leaving her standing alone under Jason’s long, hard look.

  * * * *

  The need to hold her was never greater. Jason pushed himself away from the wall where he was leaning to close the space between him and Minka. He wrapped his arms around her. Her body as always responded to his touch and molded with his.

  As he lowered his lips to hers, her body tensed for a brief second before gradually opening herself to him. Loving how she felt in his arms, he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss, forgetting the others in the room.

  Jason ran one palm over her back and moaned in self-inflicted pain. The need for him to be inside her was so intense. He was still in awe by the whole idea he could ever want someone as much as he wanted Minka, all the time.

  “You guys need a room.” Blake’s voice rang in Jason’s ears. Instantly, he felt Minka’s body freeze before she pulled out of his arms, ending their kiss.

  “Let me show you our room,” he whispered, ignoring the urge to punch the irritating grin off Blake’s face.

  Jesus, he shouldn’t be mad at Blake. If anything, he should be angry at Minka and he was. But more at himself for falling head over heels in love with a woman whose heart belonged to another. He needed to check his emotions.

  He led her down the long corridor up the stairs to the second level to one of the three master suites.

  “The other suites are on the first level,” he said.

  Minka followed him inside the room. He slowed his steps, giving her time to take in the beauty of the room. This suite had become his once he was no longer dependent on his mother to comfort him at night from a nightmare.

  Over the years, it had gone through many phases of decorations to reflect where he was in his life. He looked over the understated décor. The hardwood floor he insisted on having as a teenager. His father had insisted that he remove the carpet himself. Jason had acquired many cuts and blisters from that assignment, but now he stood back and smiled over the memory of the manual labor. After countless hours of tearing apart the beige carpet, he’d ended up covering the polished wood with two five-by-eight wool rugs.

  The walls were now a muted gray color, making it easy for Rosa’s crew to transform the mood of the space from season to season. The color had been his pick. He had also done the labor. The painting had been easy. He had learned enough of that from various odd jobs on the island. His father had insisted he learn manual labor. His mother had resisted. In the end, they had compromised. He worked half the summer and spent the other half in Europe.

  He peeked at the bed. The Chesterfield bed was probably his last purchase made for this house. It was hard to believe five years had passed since he’d set foot in the room.

  “For twenty-five years, this room was mine.”

  She came to stand behind him and wrapped her arms around his chest. He could feel her heartbeat against his back.

  “It’s still yours.”

  He nodded. In a way, she was right. No matter what, as long as his father owned this compound the second level suite would always be his.

  “We don’t have to stay here, Jason, if it’s too much. We can…”

  “It’s not too much. It actually feels right. It was long past time.”

  Her cheek came to rest on his back. He turned to her and cupped her face in his hands. Her beauty struck him once more. “I’m glad you’re here with me. It’s making it easier.”

  The words were honest. Returning to the other side of the island had been much easier than he had expected. Part of it he accredited to having Minka with him. Much of it he attributed to the absence of his father. It was easier to return to the home he grew up in without having Charles hovering over him.

  But his father’s presence was everywhere. Even in his own suite, on his dresser stood a framed picture of him with his parents, the last picture they took as a family. It had been a goofy picture orchestrated by the professional photographer. In it, they were throwing snowballs at each other. But even Photoshop couldn’t take away his mother’s physical deterioration.

  “I’m glad I’m here with you. Thank you.”

  Her words stripped him bare. Of course, he should not let them affect him. The more he did, the harder it would be to stop himself from drowning in her essence.

  “You’ve given me so much, Jason,” she continued.

  The shyness she usually exhibited had faded away. Jason thought of her body image. The struggle she continued to fight. As of this morning, the scale was still on his bathroom floor back in Katama.

  His fear that she might be bulimic like his mother was quickly put to rest. Her issue was insecurity, not an obsessive need to control something. His mother’s life had eventually spiraled out of control. Nor did Minka go into binge eating and purging. In his presence, when relaxed she never shunned away from a delicious meal. Because of that, he chose not to push her about the presence of the scale.

  Her problem was self-acceptance. He had learned that and had not pushed her. Instead, in a quiet manner, he’d tried to
show her how beautiful she was to him.

  “I can’t stop wanting you, Minka Greene,” he whispered against her lips. His voice was harsh, crude to the senses with passion. He didn’t want to think of the possibility that somehow Blake had managed to break through the intangible blockage.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and tiptoed to place a lingering kiss on his lips. “I want to give you all of me,” she whispered.

  He knew her words were from the physical aspect of their relationship. To be comfortably naked in front of him, she struggled with that. Typically she preferred their lovemaking to be in the dark. But his hands knew every inch, every curve of her and loved them.

  He wondered how long she would allow this barrier between them. But something told him she couldn’t tear it down if she tried, definitely not in one more week. The wall had been built so high that no one could climb it.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “You can't put being in love on a scale. Either you are or you aren't.”

  Jenny Han

  The soft knock on the door forced Minka to step away from Jason, out of his grip. He made no attempt to move. With his arms crossed over his muscular chest, he continued to study her. Feeling exposed and defenseless under his gaze, she walked past him and opened the door to find Lily leaning against the wall.

  “Hey, you have a sec?” Lily asked, entering the room.

  “Um…” She glanced at Jason.

  He nodded, an indication he was okay with the disruption.

  “I’ll be with the others. Come join us when you’re ready.”

  With that, he walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Minka alone with her friend. With a smile, she turned to Lily.

  “What did Adam do now?” she asked.

  “I saw what you did.”

  Her friend’s words caught her off-guard. “Pardon.”

  “You froze in Jason’s arms as soon as Blake spoke.”

  Guilt overtook her. Was it possible the others picked it up as well? She doubted it. No other person could read her like Lily could. Still, the betrayal of her body was disconcerting.

  With a sigh, she turned her back.

  “You aren’t being fair to him,” Lily said tenderly. “Jason is into you. If you’re not feeling the same way, you need to let him go.”

  Minka turned to face her friend. With Lily she never had to mask her feelings, whether it was confusion, elation, or pain. “Jason likes the sex,” she admitted in a soft, somber tone.

  “I’m sure he likes that too, but he really likes you. I’m good at reading people. And I think he’s picking up on your drama.” Lily paused and smiled sympathetically at her. “You have to let Blake go. You won’t allow yourself to love Jason because you’re still pining over someone who is completely in love with your twin sister.”

  There was a beat of silence while she processed her friend’s words. “Jason and I have no future.” Minka’s voice cracked with pain. Catching herself, she inhaled and closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure. “And I’m letting Blake go. At least I’m trying.”

  “For years you’ve loved Blake. He doesn’t love you, Minka.”

  Minka closed her eyes again, not shutting out the truth but the words still stung.

  “Not the way you love him,” Lily continued in a gentler tone. “Let it go. I don’t enjoy talking to you like this,” she admitted with a shaken smile. “I’m sorry if my words are harsh.”

  With a slight nod, Minka acknowledged her friend’s apology.

  “This brutal honesty thing is not my cup of tea,” Lily whispered. “You and Jason like each other. Explore that and be mindful of his feelings.”

  On cue, they fell into each other’s arms and broke down in laughter as warm tears started to roll down their cheeks. Minka knew her friend words were not meant to hurt her and there was truth to them. But, how did one let go of someone while loving another? She still had to figure that out.

  When they finally pulled away, the two women chuckled as they wiped away their tears. As they’d done on many occasions, Minka slipped her arm through Lily’s and they walked out of the room together, her mind preoccupied by Jason’s sudden shift of attitude earlier on the yacht. Had she inadvertently done something to hurt him?

  Then she remembered the way she’d stiffened in his arms when Blake looked in their direction.

  He knew. The man she had fallen in love with was aware of her inner turmoil toward Blake.

  The revelation brought her emotional and physical pain and she flinched over the wretchedness her actions caused.

  “You okay?” Lily asked, glancing at her before stepping out of the house to join the rest of the group.

  “Yeah. I’ll be okay.”

  They found everyone by the pool. Her sister lounged in her tiny bikini sunbathing. As always, Keely presented a striking picture. The barely-there material of the bikini hugged her body beautifully. Blake and Adam were handsome in their board shorts. She couldn’t help but survey their bodies, muscular and hard just like Jason’s.

  Only Jason was still in his jeans, but he had removed his T-shirt and appeared comfortable. As always, she was drawn to him and took pleasure in his physique. She would never grow tired of looking at him.

  “I’m going to join them. I have my bikini on under these clothes,” Lily announced “You coming?”

  “Yes, in a little while.”

  Minka remained standing by the door. She watched Lily walk over to where Keely sat and start stripping. Jason didn’t seem to notice her friend’s actions, but Adam looked on with fascination. She didn’t blame him. Her friend was gorgeous.

  When Lily stood in a brown bikini, Adam walked over to her side. Minka watched as his fingers went to her friend’s navel to caress the tiny belly ring she always wore. Then he leaned over to whisper something in her ear. Minka waited for a reaction, but instead her friend’s hand instantly went to her flat belly. Clearly whatever Adam said had affected her.

  An intense feeling of loneliness swept over Minka. Her heart ached to be at ease with herself as the other women were. She wanted to walk over and touch Jason, but as she watched him talking and laughing with his friends she knew she could never belong in his circle.

  Minka took in Blake’s features. He had always been so beautiful to her, from his rich brown eyes to the warmth of his smile. For as long as she could remember, he owned her heart, from their first hello even to now, even knowing she had fallen in love with Jason.

  She guessed nobody ever really did mean to fall in love, especially with someone who obviously was taken mentally and physically by someone else. But it happened, and love branded itself on the brain.

  However, unrequited love, as Minka had found out, was like a new street appearing overnight in the city you’ve lived in your whole life. The street was one way; you couldn’t turn around and get off. That was her feelings for Blake. She lived on a one-way street that was now also a dead end.

  He was going to marry her sister, her fraternal twin. She knew how she gotten on this street. Back in college. But she still needed to figure out how to escape from it.

  Her eyes went back to Jason. Just as he got up to grab a beer, she watched his inked chest. Her heart pounded with pain, but she wasn’t sure for whom or what. The need to let go or the need to love someone new. A new love that held no future, no promises of everlasting. Yet, her body ached for Jason. Maybe that was enough, she told herself. Maybe that was enough to slowly move forward.

  * * * *

  Jason knew she was watching him. There was that side of him that wanted to walk over and take her in his arms. And, of course, the other part glanced over at Blake who had leaned over to kiss his fiancée. It was obvious his friend had no clue how Minka felt, a fact that baffled him. Or if he did, he did a good job at disregarding it, another fact that troubled him. He had known Blake all of his life; his friend wasn’t one to take advantage or encourage an unwanted situation.

  He fel
t torn over this enigma. Opposing emotions swirled through him. The rational part of his brain told him to flee from this erratic ride called Minka. She had blindsided him and captured his heart. Pride told him to continue to take as much from her physically and then walk away. Their relationship had been based on sex anyway. Hadn’t it? He needed to stick to a simple physical relationship.

  Relationship. The word struck a chord in Jason’s chest.

  It scared the hell out of him. Probably more so than knowing he had fallen in love with this woman he knew so little about. Love, he could mask or control. But the relationship he wanted more of, even if just the physical side of it. Jason wanted to continue to enjoy all the sweetness Minka Greene possessed.

  He inhaled deeply.

  He even started to think about after next week. He had caught himself throwing suggestions at her on different dates she should return to the island. For instance, his mother’s photography display he had been working on, or even the winter. He wanted to see how she fared on the island during that time when it was pitch black at five in the afternoon, the streets sparse and quiet with no sign of tourism. Only the locals stayed around for the winter. Occasionally, a few guests came for Thanksgiving or Christmas, or homeowners returned for holidays. But, for the most part, the island was isolated.

  He wanted more than she had to give, wanted to give. He wanted a relationship with Minka. Even knowing she possessed feelings for his friend didn’t curtail his desire.

  Shit! Whatever happened to being indifferent?

  He was a man. She was a woman. They had sex and would continue to have sex till next week. That should be the end of the story.

  Jason ran a hand through his hair and, for the first time in his adult life, he was unsure of what to do.

  Whenever she was in his arms, thoughts of Blake left his brain. His desire for Minka took over and clouded his judgment. He caught himself saying things he would not normally say. Such as his plea for her to give all of herself to him. It almost made him laugh. Who the fuck was that guy? He wasn’t sure he liked him.