Embracing Love

by Delisa Lynn

  Embracing Love

  Author

  Delisa Lynn

  EMBRACING LOVE

  Copyright 2013 Delisa Lynn

  Smashwords Edition

  First Edition

  ISBN: 9781311704047

  Smashwords Edition License Notes

  This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. All rights reserved.

  Cover design by Robin Harper at Wicked By Design.

  Image Design by Once Upon a Time Covers

  Edited by Tanya Keetch at The Word Maid.

  Ebook Formatting by White Hot Ebook Formatting

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  This book is also available in print at most online retailers.

  Contact the author: authordelisalynn@gmail.com

  www.authordelisalynnblogspot.com

  www.facebook.com/authordelisalynn

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  About the Author

  Playlist

  This Novel is dedicated in memory of my wonderful grandmothers,

  Ella Lois Endicott and Oretha Mae Courts

  &

  my best friend Nikki Trent.

  I miss you all so much!

  Liam

  Five Years Earlier

  Everyone brought flowers and food. They all stood around eating and telling stories about my parents. If they weren’t eating, they were crying. We had a huge family; I think everyone that my mother knew was there. I hadn’t felt this much pain, since last year when my father died. My mother was the one to console me; she was there to let me know everything would be okay. Whom would I look to now? I was going home with my aunt and uncle. They have two kids close to my age. They live an hour from here and I have to leave everything and everyone I know here. I will have to start another school. I already quit the football team here and I’m not really up to playing at this new school.

  I looked out the window, staring at the flowers on my parents’ grave. “Uncle Gill, will it get any easier?”

  “I can’t answer that for you, kid. It will be a long road, but your aunt Nancy and I will help you every step of the way.”

  I am going to miss my mom so much. I don’t want to move in with these people. Why does God keep doing this?

  “Hi, Liam, sorry about your mom.” My cousin Addison hugged me. She is a couple years younger than me. She has always been so nice.

  “Liam, this is my best friend, Lila Carls.” I shook Lila’s hand. She had long curly blonde hair and baby blue eyes and the prettiest smile I had ever seen. She looked nothing like the girls at my old school. She looked like she was Addison’s age.

  Someday I will marry that beautiful girl, she just doesn’t know it yet, I thought to myself.

  She and Addison hung out together all the time, I had gotten used to seeing her every day. I had to make sure Ashton didn’t try to move in on her.

  Today is my sixteenth birthday, the first birthday I will celebrate without both my parents. My uncle Gill took us all to dinner. Addison brought Lila—damn that girl sure was beautiful. Ashton and I were going to get our first tattoos. I was surprised my uncle signed and paid for us to get them. Uncle Gill, said he and my father got their first ones, when they were eighteen and joined the army. My father served our country for thirty years. He was the most honorable man I knew. Someday I will make Lila as happy as he made my mother.

  Lila

  I felt like I had been partying every weekend. I wasn’t getting much studying done, and I was just tired. I had goals and dreams. And my parents worked very hard to make sure my brother, Eric James, and I could attend whatever college we wanted to.

  My father was Detective Ray Carls. He has been in the same department for over twenty years. I had always been Daddy’s girl. My mother always said she named me after him because she knew I would act just like him. My mother is Dr. Ellamae Carls, she is the best pediatrician in the state of California.

  My parents met through mutual friends. My father’s best friend, our Uncle Kes, always teased us, if it weren’t for him introducing my parents, we wouldn’t be here.

  They married, then one year later had me and ten months later, my brother. I got all my looks from my daddy, his baby blue eyes and dark blond hair—which I hated the natural curl. Eric looked more like my mom. He had dark hair and brown eyes. He was very handsome; all my friends would always drool over him.

  While walking down the hall, I heard my best friend’s big mouth; she talked so loud, and sometimes so damn much.

  “Lila Rae Carls!!” Yep, that’s Addie, she was with Liam and Eric.

  “What are you doing for lunch, Lila?”

  “Ads, I think I’m just going to grab quick snack and head to the library.”

  “Don’t you study enough, beautiful? We are graduating in a couple weeks, you can quit studying!” Liam said.

  “Whatever,” I say and roll my eyes at Liam.

  Addie and I have been best friends for years, our other best friend, Nikki, moved to Ohio the summer before our freshman year. We had grown up together and we were devastated when Nikki moved. Her father left her mother and they needed to be closer to family.

  Liam is Ashton and Addison’s cousin. He moved in with the Ellis’s years ago when his mother died. He lost both parents within a year to cancer. I remember the day he moved in with the Ellis’s. He was so nervous and looked so sad. He looked like he had never seen a girl before; he just kept staring at me. Addison swears he is in love with me.

  “We are going to a party this weekend, Lila,” Addie says. “You need to get your outfit ready, my friend.”

  “Ha, Ads, you picking it out?”

  “Damn straight, I am! Every guy in the room will have their eyes locked on you.”

  “Um, I don’t think Ashton will like that too well.”

  Addie was all about fashion and parties. I wasn’t into either; give me a pair of jeans, a T-shirt, some flip-flops, and a good book, that was my Friday night.

  I wasn’t looking forward to this party. But as always my friend gets her way. She wouldn’t have it any othe
r way. We are going to be so lost when we go off to college. I am going to miss her like crazy.

  We went shopping that night. She picked me out a cute pair of skinny jeans from Forever 21—her favorite store, well other than the Coach store.

  “Lila, these will look so cute on you. Especially with this tank top.” They did look good. I had to admit, she was a fashion goddess.

  “Okay Ads, I will get them.”

  She smiled. “Now shoe time!” She knew I hated shoe shopping: I’m a flip-flop girl. When I do wear dress shoes, they are flats. But with Addie picking them out, I would be in a pair of high heels for sure.

  “Lila, when are you going to dump my loser brother? You know you will find a prince charming at NYU.”

  “Ads, I happen to care about that loser brother of yours. I really like Ashton.”

  She scrunched her nose up and said, “Well I think you deserve better, my friend.”

  “Aww Ads, you hate your brother.”

  “No, I love my brother. He is well, he is Ashton and I want better for my best friend.”

  I had just left one class and was headed to the next when I caught up with Ashton in the hall. “Hey Babe, you coming to the party tonight?”

  I leaned in and gave him a kiss and he smacked me on my ass. “Of course I am, Ashton. You going?”

  “Yes I am, I hope to get to spend some alone time with you.”

  I just giggled. “Well maybe if you are nice, we may spend some time together.” He pulled me in for a deep kiss. Ashton and I had been dating for months. We hadn’t had sex and that’s all he kept asking about.

  “Come on, Lila, don’t be shy, you know I love you.”

  “Really, Ashton? We are at school, I could never do that here. And love has nothing to do with it.” I pushed him away and rolled my eyes.

  “Fine, I will see you tonight!” I just laughed; it was kind of cute how he always begged and had a sad look in his eyes.

  He was Addison’s brother, I had always had a crush on him, but we were really good friends before dating. I really liked him, but I wasn’t sure how things would go when I left for NYU, because he was going to CALU. I really think I will give in before going.

  I was walking back to class and literally ran right into Liam.

  “Well hello, beautiful.”

  “Liam, I am so sorry; I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking. I am such a damn klutz.” God, why did he have to always look at me like that?

  “No problem, L, are you okay? You look a little upset.”

  “Nope, I am fine, thanks for the concern.”

  “Anytime Lila, you need anything just let me know.”

  “Thanks Liam, I will keep that in mind.” I hope he didn’t hear the conversation with Ashton.

  Ashton had told me a lot of stories about Liam’s girlfriends, well his fuck buddies is what Ashton called them. He was very friendly and had great manners. Unlike Ashton, sometimes I wondered why I was so attracted to Ashton. He wasn’t very friendly to most people and he thought he was such a bad ass. He had gotten tattoo sleeves when he was sixteen. I couldn’t believe his parents allowed him to get them at that age. They were nice though.

  He drove a red Harley Davidson motorcycle, that he called his baby! He had gotten it for his eighteenth birthday. He wouldn’t let anyone drive it. Hell, he rarely let anyone ride on it with him.

  Ashton and Liam picked me up that evening. I saw they were driving Liam’s car. He had a silver Corvette, it was really nice and shiny. Ashton got in the back to let me up front. “Where’s Ads?” I asked.

  “Her and Eric are already there,” Liam said. I could feel Liam staring at me. Why the hell did he always stare at me like that? It gave me chills sometimes, not sure if that was good or bad. “This is a pretty car, Liam.”

  “Lila, it is a sports car, they aren’t meant to be pretty.”

  He and Ashton both laughed.

  “Well, it is a bad ass car.”

  They still laughed. Why the fuck didn’t I know what to say when I was around this man?

  Before I could get out of the car, Ashton was already in the house.

  Liam turned to me and said, “You look great tonight, beautiful.”

  “Thanks!” I smiled. Did he really think his charm was flattering? He could clearly see I was with his cousin.

  I did like the fact, he always complimented me, and how he always flirted with me. I know it pissed Ashton off though. Liam was a very handsome man. But I would never tell him I thought so.

  Once inside, I saw Eric and Addie dancing. Eric is my brother and I figured he and Ads would end up together; they were exactly alike. I walked over to them and asked them what they were doing together and they just laughed at me. “Lila, you know Eric and I are friends.”

  “Okay Ads, if you say so. Let’s grab a drink and dance.” Ads got us a drink and we started dancing. That’s one thing we did best—shake our asses. Ashton hated when I did it at parties. Naughty Girl by Beyonce came on and Addie and I were dancing and having a great time. Eric just shook his head and Liam was laughing. I heard him tell Eric, “Your sister sure can dance.” Eric just laughed. I guess all those dancing classes and gymnastics my mom made me take had a lot to do with my flexibility. I saw Ashton walking toward me.

  “Come on, Lila, let’s go upstairs.”

  “Right now?”

  “Yes, I just want to be alone with my girl. Is that too much to ask? You’re out here shaking your ass like you are single!” I just laughed as he grabbed my hand.

  “I will be back, Ads, save me a dance.” I gave my friend a quick hug and headed off with my boyfriend.

  I knew what he wanted, and I was not ready to give in yet. “Lila, you are so pretty, baby and I have always liked you and wanted to be with you. We have been together long enough, what is the problem?”

  “Ashton, I just don’t think I am ready yet.”

  “You are leaving soon, don’t you want to be with me before you leave for college?”

  I put my hand on his cheek. “Ashton, I do, just not now.”

  He started kissing me and rubbing my breast, I didn’t stop him. I had pushed his hands away for months now; I figured it was time to let him touch me.

  “Oh baby, come on, you have my dick so hard right now. I promise it won’t hurt and you will be so glad we did it.”

  His talk did not turn me on what so ever. Of course, I had never been turned on by any of my boyfriends. He started unzipping my jeans and pulling them down. I don’t know what I was thinking but I let him and he started taking my panties off. I could feel his erection against me. I’d hoped that it’d go down. Then I felt his finger enter me. Fuck! I didn’t think he would go there. I had better make him stop.

  “Mmm baby, you are tight as hell. I can make you wet.” He was now trying to push another finger inside of my very dry opening.

  “WAIT! Ashton, we can’t do this now. I am sorry that you are ready and I am not.”

  “Come on, Lila, I will get you wet, and it will feel so good, baby.”

  “Not tonight, Ashton.”

  “So you can shake your ass for the party but not for your man?”

  “Ashton, it isn’t like that.”

  The door flung open! Crap! Oh my god, please don’t let him see me like this. Wow, he looks pissed. I was standing there with my jeans around my ankles. Thank god Ashton stepped in front of me.

  “Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” Ashton yelled.

  “Oh, I didn’t realize you two where in here.”

  “Liam, get out, man.” Liam turned and walked away.

  I was so humiliated. I wondered what Liam was thinking. He probably thought I was a damn slut. I hope he didn’t think that Ashton and I were in here screwing. Oh god I hope he doesn’t tell my brother. Damn it…breathe…Lila just take a deep breath.

  So glad he did come busting in the door when he did, he saved me from doing something I wasn’t ready to do.

  “Ashton, I don’t th
ink this is a good idea right now.”

  “Fuck Lila!” He ran his hands quickly through his hair and looked at me with his piercing hazel eyes and with a sad ass frown. “Why are you doing this? You keep teasing me! I have needs, you know. Can’t you just help me out and at least touch me or give me a blow job?”

  “ASHTON ELLIS! No!” I had never done that and I really didn’t want to now.

  “Fine, remember you are the one that turned me down, Lila.”

  “Ashton, wait, I am sorry.” I tried kissing him but he walked out the door. Damn, what the hell does that mean? He always made me feel so damn bad. He was worse than my ex, Will.

  Will didn’t beg half as much. Maybe that’s why he cheated on me. Oh damn, Ashton is going to fucking cheat on me. That dirty bastard. I will break his neck if he does.

  I normally wasn’t a drinker, but I needed another strong drink right now. The one I had with Ads hadn’t kicked in yet. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for him to understand that I am not ready.

  I went to find Addie but didn’t see her or Eric anywhere. I got my drink and sat in the corner. It was a little strong; it tasted like fruit punch with a gallon of vodka. It was exactly what I needed right now. I just wanted to get the picture of Liam walking in on Ashton and me out of my damn head.

  I see Savvy, the school slut, push a guy into the bathroom. Damn, she already has someone in there giving him a blow job. I have heard she is known for her blow jobs and that all of the football players have slept with her.

  Liam noticed me and brought me a drink. I am glad he did as I needed another one. Damn, this one wasn’t as strong as the first one, maybe I will get a third one. “Lila, are you avoiding me?”

  “Liam, why would I avoid you?” “You just seemed to disappear after I told you how beautiful you were, then after walking in on you and Ashton um…doing what you were doing.”

  “No, nothing to do with you. Ashton and I weren’t doing anything, we had an argument.”

  “Oh is that what that was? Looked like you had your panties down to me.”

  Oh fuck, he did see. I just wanted to run screaming now, and hide under the biggest rock I could find.