To Live and Love

by LM Spangler

  “So am I. My dates usually don’t last past round one. I’ve had feelings for you from the start. I’d like to see how many rounds we could take this, Justin. You’ll have to have patience with me. I am, indeed, a unique person. I’m hoping you give me the time I need to maybe try and change my ways.”

  “Would you be willing to do that? I mean, maybe leave the house someday?”

  “I would honestly love to. I’m missing out on so many things in life. But I am who I am. I hope to change, but I can’t say for sure when or if that’ll happen.”

  Mel’s words didn’t surprise him. Justin figured she hadn’t been entirely happy with her lifestyle. But she wasn’t discounting trying to change and perhaps escape the prison of her home. Justin wouldn’t fool himself. People rarely changed overnight. He could be in for many house-dates.

  Justin lifted his head and their gazes locked. Mel smiled, and it lit up her eyes, making them come to life. His gaze fell to the bounty of her mouth. Her tongue darted out and wetted those lush, full lips. They begged to be tasted, and he didn’t hesitate.

  Leaning toward her, Justin captured her lips in a slow, tender kiss. Her flavor flooded his senses. One taste would never be enough. He increased the depth of the kiss, teasing the seam of her lips with his tongue. She gasped, and he plundered. Honey sweet. He allowed her taste to permeate his being.

  Blood thundered through his body, demanding he take more, but his brain slammed on the brakes before things got out of hand. Justin had told her he wouldn’t rush, and he was a man of his word. He rested his forehead against hers and inhaled deeply, trying to take in precious oxygen.

  “Wow,” Mel murmured. Her breath teased his face.

  “Wow is right. You sure know how to cross my wires.”

  She cupped his face in her palms. “Let’s see if we can blow the fuses,” she whispered before closing the distance between them. Her lips were soft and ignited sparks in his blood, threatening to send him up in flames.

  He had to be certain she was ready to burn with him. He pulled away. “I told you I wouldn’t rush you. If we go much further, it’s going to be damn hard to stop.”

  She grasped the hem of her sweater and pulled it over her head, and Justin had no idea why he didn’t implode.

  Her full breasts were encased in a lacy, pink bra, and the rose tone of her nipples peeked through the fabric. His blood flow went from one head to the other. He hardened against the zipper of his pants.

  They went from below zero to hotter than Hades in minutes. Heat scorched his veins, and he wanted. Wanted her more than he’d ever wanted another woman.

  “God, you are so hot.” He moved to her and ran his fingertips down her arms and back to her shoulder. His hands drifted over her collarbone and paused at the edge of the lace of her bra. “Stop me now, Melanie. Tell me no. If you don’t, I won’t stop until we lay spent in your bed.”

  She grasped his wrists and pulled his hands over her breasts, filling his palms. “Yes,” she breathed, her head falling back.

  “So hot,” he murmured as he ran his thumbs over her hardened buds. “So reactive.”

  Her eyes met his, and her desire shined in their depths as goose pimples rushed over her flesh. “Justin,” she pled.

  He rose, scooped her into his arms, and captured her lips with his. There was no finesse, no tenderness. The brutal kiss meant to brand her as his. He lifted his head. “Bedroom down the hall?”

  “Last room at the end.”

  He strode into her bedroom, being careful to not bounce off the doorjamb. After lowering her onto her feet, he pulled his sweater over his head.

  Mel reached out tentatively, stopping when there was only a scant inch between her fingertips and his chest. Her eyes searched his as she nibbled her lip.

  “I want you to touch me.”

  Her fingers traced the shape of his pecs, brushing butterfly soft over his nipples. The heat in his veins became a five-alarm fire. He’d never considered his chest to be an erogenous zone, but she’d proven that notion wrong.

  He walked backward until his legs came into contact with the end of her bed. He sat and pulled her between his legs. Before she could protest, he reached behind her, unlatching her bra and pulling it away from her body. Her nipples were pebble hard and beckoned him for a taste.

  He took one bud into his mouth, suckling and nipping hard, and then taking away the sting of his nips with his tongue before laving the other nipple. Her moans kicked the fire up a notch, and he was so ready to burn.

  “Strip,” he commanded.

  She stepped back and unzipped her skirt, allowing it to fall to the floor. Her underwear followed suit.

  The rush of lust centered in his cock, hardening it painfully against his pants. He grabbed her hand and pulled it over his erection. “Feel what you do to me.”

  She traced the outline of his hard-on and rubbed her palm over him, again and again.

  He stilled her hand. “When I come, I want it to be inside you.”

  She sidestepped him, moving to the bed and situating herself in the center. “What are you waiting for?”

  If there were a world record for taking one’s pants off, he would have set the record. He settled himself between her legs. “Are you ready for me?” he asked as he caressed her satin smooth thigh, slowly moving to her core. He moaned like a dying man. A rush of wet heat met his hand. “Oh God.”

  He centered the head of his erection at the entrance of her channel.

  “Look at me,” he said.

  When her gaze met his, he drove himself inside her.

  * * * *

  Mel moaned, low and deep. Justin filled her to near bursting. Already surprised by the strength of the desire she felt toward him, she had no idea that sex could feel so virile, so primal. But most importantly, so perfect, so right.

  He set a lazy pace, a slow dance, creating little licks of heat in the pit of her belly. The fire burned hotter and hotter with each thrust. She gripped his sweat-slickened shoulders as he increased the pace, moving faster and faster, the friction increasing more and more. The fire in her stomach grew from kindling to full-on inferno. Her tummy quivered as she got closer and closer to her release.

  “Oh God. Yes,” she exclaimed as the flames blazed into a conflagration. She exploded around his cock, the force of her orgasm robbing her of breaths.

  Justin’s hips snapped forward over and over until his head fell back and he shouted as his release overtook him.

  He rolled onto his side, taking her with him, where they lay, completely spent as he’d predicted.

  “Will you stay tonight?” she asked.

  He stroked his fingertip up and down her spine in a motion so soothing her eyelids became heavy. “I’m not going anywhere. Not now. And not for a long time I hope.”

  She nuzzled his chest. “Good. I like the idea of waking up next to you.”

  “I like that idea too.”

  Mel tried to stifle a yawn, making him laugh softly.

  “Go to sleep.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

  His words wrapped around her heart, calming her for a few moments until her eyelids fluttered and then shut for the night.

  Chapter 6

  The following Thursday, Mel prepared for her weekly appointment with Dr. Stamko. While awaiting his arrival, she whistled a happy tune. Justin would be stopping over tonight. Mel had only seen him one time since their date, when he delivered a package a few days ago. She’d been elated to see him. After dropping off her new coffeemaker, he had pulled her against him and kissed her senseless. It left her breathless, and for once in her life, the feeling wasn’t unpleasant. On the days they hadn’t seen one another, he texted her, if only to ask how she was.

  Mel busied herself fluffing the pillows on the couch when the thud of a car door caught her attention. Dr. Stamko had arrived. Her mind had wandered to Justin, as it had all week.

  The doorbell’s chimes echoed in the house. Un
able to help herself, she wore a goofy grin as she pulled the door open.

  “Hello, doc. How are you this evening?” Mel asked as she stepped aside.

  “I’m doing fine. How are you? You sound chipper.”

  “That’s because I am.”

  “Good. Good. Come sit and we’ll discuss it.” Dr. Stamko removed his overcoat and hung it on one of the hooks.

  Mel led the way into the living room and settled onto the loveseat. She waited for Dr. Stamko to lower himself into the same wing chair that she’d stubbed her toe against, which had inadvertently started her relationship with Justin.

  Dr. Stamko took a small notepad and pen from his briefcase in preparation for taking notes from today’s session. He tapped his pen on the pad. “So what’s got you in such a good mood?”

  “Well, I took your advice and asked Justin over for a dinner date. I didn’t tell you at our last appointment because I wasn’t sure how the night would go, but it went great. He’s stopping over after work tonight.”

  Dr. Stamko rubbed his beard. “Glad to hear you took a step out of your comfort zone and asked him over. How does he feel about your condition?”

  “He seems to accept it for the time being. Justin hasn’t pushed me in any way.”

  He jotted some notes on his pad. “Do you think he’ll be patient with you?”

  If it had been one of her previous beaus, she would have said she wasn’t sure. But Justin was solid. She’d known him for five years and he’d only talked about a couple of women, which meant he’d been selective. Confidence brimmed when she thought about their relationship.

  “Yes, doc. I think he’ll be patient with me,” she replied honestly. “I haven’t felt like this with the other men I dated. He is so different.”

  “What makes him unlike any of the other men you’ve been attracted to?”

  “Justin makes me feel all warm and fuzzy. So far he hasn’t walked on eggshells when he’s around me. I almost feel normal.”

  Dr. Stamko jotted more notes. “Do you want to feel normal?”

  The question gave Mel pause. She’d found herself wanting to experience more from her life. Was she ready for that yet? No, she wasn’t, and she wouldn’t fool herself into thinking otherwise. Wanting something and experiencing it were two completely different things.

  “I’d like to change, doc,” she said honestly.

  “What if he asked you to step outside with him?”

  She shook her head. “I’m not ready for that. The possibility is in my head now though.”

  “Hmm… That’s a start. You’ve never talked much about the possibility. This man must really be getting under your skin.”

  More than you know. Mel visualized a life with Justin and knew, deep down inside, that it meant stepping outside of her safety zone. Just how far outside remained to be seen. She couldn’t see into the future but knew she wanted something more from Justin. More than just dates in her house. One day at a time worked fine for now.

  “I care strongly for him. That I know for sure.”

  “Good. This is the type of progress I’ve been waiting for.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. You’ve talked about wanting to change before, but this is the first time I’ve seen your eyes light up when you’ve said it. You seem to be coming to life. Like a flower bud about to open and enhance the world with its lovely color.”

  She’d never been compared to a flower before. The thought of blossoming held appeal. Mel would love to take steps into the world and not have a panic attack in the process. Going outside wasn’t the problem—doing so without heavy medications was the problem. Who was she fooling? Mel hadn’t even tried. Safety surrounded her in its four walls.

  A half-hour later, with next week’s appointment confirmed, Dr. Stamko took his leave.

  Mel glanced at her watch. Both Mindy and Justin would be stopping by shortly. Justin to visit and Mindy to drop off groceries. She wanted her sister and Justin to meet formally instead of in passing. Mindy would also have the paint chips Mel had requested for her living room.

  Mel gazed at the room’s grayish-brown color. The shade complimented the simple, mission-style, wood furnishings. Her decorating style leaned toward clean lines. No fuss. A few uncomplicated, colored glass vases and statuettes graced tabletops. The theme continued throughout the house. The less, the better, she thought.

  But her living room had been the same hue for a couple of years. Mindy had mentioned wanting to change the scheme in her own living room, and Mel had a light bulb moment, realizing she was ready for a change. Hopefully, Mindy had found the perfect shade to transform the tone of Mel’s den.

  The door opened, and a blast of cool air infiltrated Mel’s front room. Mindy stepped inside carrying plastic grocery sacks.

  “Hey, sis. How are you?” Mindy asked as she made her way to the kitchen.

  Mel followed. “I’m fine. How are you?”

  “I’m good. Got your grub for the week. Got enough for two, just in case,” she said with a wink.

  “That’s what I love about you, Mindy. You’re always thinking on your feet.”

  Mel went to one of the bags and began to unload the groceries. She and her sister made quick work of putting the stuff away. Mel sat on one of the island stools and patted the one next to it. Mindy got herself a drink and joined her sister.

  “Did you grab the paint chips for me?” Mel asked.

  “Oh, yeah. They’re in my purse.” Mindy rose, went to her handbag, and retrieved four paper strips with five complementary shades on each. All were in the light brown group. Some more almond-shell, others more corkboard in color.

  “This is it. Just the one I was looking for,” Mel commented as she first held the caramel color chip to the light and then to her sister.

  Mindy took the chip and repeated the same light-reflecting process as Mel. “Yep. I think this’ll be perfect. It’ll go with your furniture and what few accessories you use. Good choice. When do you plan on painting?”

  “I’d like to do it this weekend. Maybe I can talk Justin into helping. As far as dates go, it’ll probably be the most boring one he’s been on, but I’ll be happy as long as he’s in my general vicinity.”

  As if on cue, her doorbell sang throughout the house.

  “Speak of the devil. Must be him now.” Mel rose and walked to the front of the house. She braced herself for the cool air that would rush in as soon as the door opened. The blast of air ruffled the hair around her face. “Hi. How are you?” she asked, stepping aside.

  “I’m fine. How are you, beautiful?” He leaned down for a quick hello kiss.

  Anticipation leapt through her blood. His lips brushed hers, whisper soft, yet it sent her heart into overdrive. Mel loved the rush each kiss brought.

  “I’m fine. My sister is here. I’d like for you to meet her.”

  “Okay. Lead the way.”

  Mel led him into the kitchen. Her sister stood when they entered the room. She extended her hand. “Hi, I’m Mindy. Mel’s older and wiser sister.”

  He shook her hand. “I’m Justin Eberley. Pleasure to meet you.”

  “Pleasure’s mine,” Mindy replied.

  “Please sit, Justin. Would you like a soda or beer?” Mel offered.

  “A beer will be fine.” Justin sat on the stool next to Mindy. He lifted the paint chips and examined them. “Who’s painting?”

  “I am,” Mel replied. “I was hoping you’d be willing to give me a hand this weekend. The two of us can have it knocked out in no time.”

  “Sure, I’ll help. I don’t have anything planned, and I might be able to get us some additional help. I think my buddy, Hoffman, has no plans during the day. His fiancée is working. The three of us will make quick work of it.”

  “That sounds like a plan. Perhaps I’ll prepare dinner afterward as a thank you for the help. He can invite his fiancée over as well. Make it a double date, so to speak.”

  “I’ll ask him tomorrow at work.” He
took a swallow of beer. “Which color are you going with?”

  The three talked for the next hour about paint plans, Mindy and her husband, and life in general.

  For once, Mel thought, it was a great life.

  * * * *

  “You got plans for tomorrow?” Justin asked Hoffman at the end of their shift the following day.

  “Nope. Samantha’s working, so I was just going to veg. Why?”

  Here goes. “I’m helping my, uh…girlfriend paint her living room. We could use an extra pair of hands.”

  Hoffman sputtered and nearly choked on his coffee. “You have a girlfriend? When did this happen?”

  “Last weekend was our first official date, but I’ve liked Mel for quite some time. I didn’t know how to approach her.”

  “You’re kidding me. You had difficulty asking her out?”

  Justin leaned his chair back on its two rear legs. “She’s different from any woman I know. Made the approach a little tricky.”

  Hoffman’s eyes narrowed. “How different?”

  “She’s an agoraphobic.” Justin waited for Hoffman to ask what in the dickens that was.

  Hoffman whistled through his teeth. “Now I understand why you were a little leery about asking her out. She fears leaving the house.”

  Did he just hear Hoffman correctly? He actually knew what ailed Mel. “I’m surprised you know what that is. I had no idea the first time I heard of it.”

  “Does she suffer anxiety attacks?”

  Justin shook his head in disbelief, surprised that Hoffman knew more about it than he initially did. “Yes, she does. How do you know?”

  “I watch medical documentaries on the Health Channel. Saw an episode about a woman who suffered from agoraphobia.”

  Justin could only shake his head again. “You are a constant surprise to me, Hoffman.”

  Hoffman rubbed his goatee. “I just act dumb, but I’m not.”

  “I guess not. Anyway, Mel invited you and Samantha for dinner after we’re done. She’s a dynamite cook.”