Never Back Down

by Susan Harris

  Leaning back, she held his gaze. “I can stop if you want.”

  He captured her mouth in response, his hands roaming up and down her spine, before cupping her butt with strong possession. She licked and sucked and took until she had to pull back, breathless and chest heaving. His lips kicked up into a satisfied smile.

  “I had all these plans in my mind for the first time I took you. I wanted you on your back, legs spread wide, your core wet and ready for me. I wanted to take you slowly, waiting until you were about to come, and then bring you to the edge, over and over, my name on your lips.”

  He clicked his fingers, and she was naked in his lap. When she grinned back at him, he slid his hand along her thigh, his fingers ghosting over her core.

  “But,” he said, “I think I like the idea of being taken by you. I have never been taken by anyone before.”

  The idea of it thrilled her, that Loki would allow her to take the reins and have control. She leaned in and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to the side of his throat.

  “You are wearing far too many clothes,” she muttered against his skin, her entire body aching for his touch.

  With a very sexy chuckle, he nipped at her jaw. “We can’t have that now, can we?”

  Faster than she could blink, he was naked as well, and her mouth watered. Later, later she would lick every inch of him until she was addicted to his taste, but right now, she didn’t care. She held his gaze as she reached out, wrapping her hand around his cock and stroking.

  Loki closed his eyes for a brief moment, and when he opened them, Erika gasped. His eyes came alive, like all the stars in the sky had been captured there and were twinkling. They captivated her, halting her movements for a moment until he jerked his hips to urge her.

  Not wanting to waste any more time, she rose up slightly, positioning his thick arousal at her opening, and slowly eased herself down. He wasn’t small by any means, and he stretched her inner walls to an almost painful pleasure, but she needed it.

  When she moved too slowly for his liking, he gripped her hips and bucked his own up, filling her completely. They both let loose a moan. They began to move slowly, gathering pace, neither of them uttering a word, the only sound in the room their breathing and the slap of flesh against skin as Erika leaned back, Loki latching onto her breast with his mouth.

  She slid her fingers into his hair and dragged his head up, kissing the grin off his face. She felt like she was flying, her entire body feeling weightless as she continued to rotate her hips, her release building and building until all she wanted to do was scream.

  “Look at me, Erika.”

  Normally, she would have bucked at the command, but she held once she looked back into Loki’s eyes. Her orgasm ripped through her, Loki capturing her scream with his mouth as he continued to lift up his hips, sliding in and out of her core until his own release claimed him. He kiss her repeatedly, his hands stroking down her hair and face as she sat back.

  “That was…” she began, unable to find the words.

  “It was,” he replied, a satisfied grin on his lips.

  She made to slip off his lap, usually a leave-um-and-weep kinda lover, but he gripped her hips and rose off the couch, still inside her. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He placed a quick peck to her lips before sliding out so slowly that she almost came again as he set her on her feet.

  “Did you think we were done, little Valkyrie?”

  “Pretty much.”

  He kissed her hard, his cock stirring again against stomach. When he pulled back, she looked down and grinned. “Again?”

  “I plan on making you come many more times, Erika. Many, many more until you scream my name. I have learned many tricks over the years,” Loki said as his hands cupped her cheeks and his magic touched more intimate places. “I’m eager to show you.”

  Erika laughed, kissing the thumb that traced over her lips. “You’ll have to catch me first.”

  She slipped out of his grasp, racing toward the bedroom, glancing behind her only to slam into a muscular chest. She slipped under his arm and into the bedroom before she was tackled and pinned to the bed, her hands over her head, a gorgeous god playing games with her.

  “Things have changed now, Erika. You are mine. I do not share.”

  She rolled her eyes. “Just shut up and kiss me, Loki.”

  “As my lady commands.”

  She burst out laughing, as he began to kiss down her body, his hands slipping from the grip on her hands over her head, his magic holding them in place. Erika’s eyes closed as he lavished her body with licks, kisses and well-placed grazes of teeth. As she wiggled, wanting and needing more than the teasing from Loki, the handsome man lifted his head and with a grin so wicked it was sinful, licked his lips.

  The next time he kissed her, Erika swore she saw stars.

  Caitlyn

  Caitlyn sat in the dark, her fingers intertwined on her lap, gaze never wavering from the girl who remained unconscious on the bed. Caitlyn rested on a fireside chair. Donnie had lifted it into Kenzie’s bedroom, pressing a kiss to the top of Caitlyn’s head before striding out of the room. She hated that Donnie felt that he could not touch her like he had done before they had mated, and she was entirely responsible for that. She was simply doing what he had asked of her, to not touch him if she wasn’t sure she could stay mated to him.

  The very thought that she would not be with Donnie made her stomach revolt. Yet, she still found that she could not tell him the truth about her feelings and why she was being so distant.

  Caitlyn herself was uncertain why she was being like this. Should she not be overjoyed that Cain was dead, and she was free to be with the man she adored? Donnie had been patient and loyal, embracing the memories of her fallen family as if they had also belonged to him, and offered nothing but support.

  How did she tell him that she felt guilty for seeing a future with him? How did she explain to him that every time he made her smile, every time her body came to life at his touch, this horrible voice inside her mind told her that she did not deserve happiness?

  And, by the gods, when Donnie had blurted out that he had looked into adopting a child, Caitlyn had been so taken aback that she had freaked out. Children was something that they had not discussed. She had found a spark of joy when she held Ricky’s cub in her arms, along with an abundance of fear. The last child she had held in her arms had been her own, and Caitlyn was not sure that she could bring herself to form an attachment to any child again because of the risk that came with who and what she was.

  Kenzie sucked in a breath, still wheezing slightly, yet not as bad as she had before Erika had come to visit. It had surprised Caitlyn that despite being raised differently–Caitlyn with love and family, and Erika seemingly with not much–they had quite a lot in common. The Valkyrie, who Caitlyn assumed was far older than either her or Derek, had questioned Caitlyn’s reaction to the fight and her willingness to still welcome Erika into her home.

  It would seem that the Valkyrie happened to be as afraid of her emotions as Caitlyn was.

  A slight tap came at the door, and Derek peered around the opening.

  “How is she?” he asked, coming in to sit cross-legged on the floor.

  “She is breathing easier, thanks to Erika.”

  With a quirked brow, he waited for her to continue.

  “Apparently,” she said with a sigh. “There is much that we do not know about Valkyrie powers.”

  “You can say that again,” Derek huffed, scrubbing a hand down his face. He looked exhausted, as if he had not slept in days. She supposed he had not, considering his own mate had only returned after running off. Caitlyn remembered Donnie’s ragged appearance when he had shown up at her apartment in Paris. He had known what perils Caitlyn might encounter in the country of her birth, yet Derek hadn’t had those clues when Ever left, or even confidence he would find her.

  “What brings you to my door this evening?” Caitlyn asked, running a hand through her ha
ir.

  “I’m going to collect Melanie from Ricky’s mom’s house and said I’d stop in. I wanted to see how the girl was. I kinda feel responsible for getting her hurt.”

  She leaned forward and patted him on the head. “It is not your fault, mon ami. Kenzie will be the first to tell you that she was fully aware of the risks. It was not our intention that she come face to face with an angry Valkyrie.”

  Derek responded with a shrug. “Still.”

  “You cannot take it upon yourself when others suffer misfortunes.”

  “Ha. Look who’s talking,” he said pointedly.

  She chuckled. “That is why you and I get on so well. We like to make everyone else’s problems our own.”

  He patted her calf with a grin, his face sobering. “Wanna tell me what’s up with you and the big man? You two should be walking around with the biggest smiles on your faces. Cain is dead, and there is nothing standing between you and happiness.”

  She sank back into the chair, tapping her fingers on her knee. “I am the reason for the unhappiness, not Donnie. I…I…I cannot tell you, especially when I cannot tell him.”

  Derek cocked his head in a very wolf-like manner. “I’m sure Donnie would prefer that you talk to anyone about what’s up with you.”

  Caitlyn glared at Derek, who smiled at her innocently.

  “He asked you to talk to me, did he not?”

  “His exact words were,” Derek stated, his grin widening. “‘Dude, I’m royally fucking this up. Come help me out.’ He knows that you’ll talk to me, that I won’t bullshit you, and you appreciate that. He also knows that we have leaned on each other with our little therapy sessions, and you tell me things you might not ever want to speak about with him. I don’t know, if you were my girl, if I’d have the stones to ask another man to help his woman out. Think about that.”

  He stood, his gaze wandering over to Kenzie before he turned his attention back to Caitlyn. “Talk to him, Cait. If the guy hung around for twenty years with slim hope of being with you, then you won’t scare him away with a few truths. You guys have the chance to be happy. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity because of some misconceived notion that you don’t deserve it.”

  Derek slipped silently from the room, the door closing with a snick. Caitlyn knew that he was right, that she was sabotaging any chance at happiness by pushing Donnie away.

  “That damn wolf talks too loud.”

  Caitlyn leapt to her feet and was at Kenzie’s side in an instant. “Kenzie, mon dieu. I am glad you are awake. How do you feel?”

  “Like I got run over by a truck. Twice.” Her niece tried to sit up, a hiss escaping her lips, and Caitlyn carefully put her hands on Kenzie’s shoulders, grabbed some pillows that she must have thrown on the floor, placed them against the headboard, and gently lifted Kenzie so that she was sitting up.

  When she seemed settled, she looked at Caitlyn, a sheepish expression on her face. Kenzie began to speak, but a coughing fit wracked her body. Caitlyn gingerly lifted a glass to Kenzie’s lips so she could have a sip.

  “Thanks,” she croaked. “So how bad did I screw up?”

  “You did not screw up, Kenzie,” replied Caitlyn, her tone soft. “You were faced with an angry Valkyrie who wanted to prove a point. Take from it that you survived a battle against the general of a mythical army. Your pride is safe.”

  Tears began to drip from Kenzie’s eyes. Caitlyn shushed her, lying down on the bed next to her. “All I wanted to do was prove I was useful to the team. I can’t even get that right.”

  Kenzie burst into tears, but she allowed Caitlyn to hold her close until the tears ran dry. Caitlyn began to sing in French, a lullaby that she had once sang to Jessamine, only realizing she had begun when she heard her words. When she finished, Kenzie rubbed her eyes and sat up straighter, moaning as the movement tugged at her sore ribs.

  “I’m sorry I scared you.”

  Caitlyn was about to deny that she had been frightened, yet Kenzie must have remembered the absolute panic and terror that had ripped through Caitlyn the moment Erika went for the kill. It had taken all she could do not to lash out at Erika, but common sense had prevailed, Caitlyn scooping Kenzie into her arms and not letting her go until they were in the safety of the compound.

  “It has been a long time since I have been afraid of losing someone. I may have panicked a little. I apologise if it distressed you.”

  “It’s okay. It’s been a while since I had someone look after me like that. I think we both have things we need to adjust to.”

  Kenzie yawned, and Caitlyn detangled herself, slipping off the bed. “I will let you get some rest. Erika managed to kick start your healing, and you drank a pint of my blood, but you still need to rest.”

  “Yes, boss.”

  Caitlyn made for the door.

  “Caitlyn?” Kenzie said, and Caitlyn paused, glancing over her shoulder.

  “Yes?”

  “Did I really fight a Valkyrie?”

  Caitlyn shook her head. “Yes.”

  “She had some sweet moves. Think she’ll show me?”

  Caitlyn made an exasperated sound. “Erika has already stated she is more than happy to train with you once you recover.”

  “Sweet!” Kenzie said around a yawn, drifting off to sleep a moment later.

  Caitlyn waited until Kenzie’s breathing deepened. As soon as Caitlyn was certain the girl had fallen into a deep sleep, she left her to her rest, safe in the knowledge that she would be alright. Caitlyn moved down the hall, making her way toward the living room where she could feel Donnie’s presence. It was like déjà vu, but with him staring out the window and her watching from the doorway. He would have known when she entered the room; the bond gave them the ability to know where the other person was.

  However, he continued his observation of the world outside, a bottle of beer hanging from his fingers, as if she was not there at all. His entire body stiffened upon her walking into the room, which should not be a mate’s reaction to their mate entering a room.

  Caitlyn thought back on Derek’s words, “You guys have the chance to be happy. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity because of some misconceived notion that you don’t deserve it,” and decided she had to come clean about her fears to Donnie if they had any chance to survive as a couple.

  Wetting her lips with her tongue, Caitlyn took a step into the room before she whispered, “I don’t deserve it.”

  Donnie tensed, yet kept his eyes on the world outside, his fingers tightening around the mouth of his beer. “Excuse me?”

  She took in an unnecessary breath. “I do not deserve to be happy. The way you make me feel does not sit well with me. The happiness I feel when I am near you, I feel I do not deserve it. I know I am being irrational. I understand my feelings are not valid, yet I cannot help to think that after all I have done, I do not deserve the life I want with you.”

  He turned in her direction, walked over to the sofa and sat down, setting the bottle of beer down on the table. He leaned back, stretching his arms out on the back of the chair. “Of course your feelings are valid, Cait. But I’m a little on the stupid side, I blame the numerous concussions. Come sit down and explain it to me again.”

  She walked over to the table, lifted Donnie’s beer and took a slug. It tasted bitter and not at all to her taste. “That is awful. How can you drink it?”

  He took the beer from her fingers and drained the rest of the bottle. “It’s an acquired taste. Come on, babe. Sit down.” He patted the couch beside him and waited until she took a seat, curling her legs underneath herself.

  “Derek said that I think that I do not deserve to be happy, and that is why I am giving you a hard time.”

  Reaching out, he took a wisp of her hair and wrapped it around his fingers. Caitlyn almost sighed at his touch and realized it must be hell for him also.

  “I feel this guilt inside me. After all I have done, I still have the opportunity to live my life with you. I do not think, h
aving buried my family in the ground, that happiness is what I deserve, and when I am with you, I tend to forget them for a moment and smile. I should not forget them even for a moment.”

  He continued to twist her hair in his fingers. “Caitlyn, being with me does not mean that you forget them. Have I even once asked you to do that for me? You’ve told me a little about Sebastian. He sounded like a good man, Cait. Do you honestly think Sebastian would hold it against you for being happy? For finding something to smile about? I understand where you’re coming from, I really do. And I’m not exactly helping, am I? I’m sorry for saying stupid shit and upsetting you. That was far from my intention. I’d blame the stupid on the multiple concussions again, but I open my mouth and stupid comes out.”

  She shifted so that she faced him and rested a hand on his knee. “We are both guilty of saying stupid stuff. I think we have had little chance to discuss the future due to Cain and Kenzie. Perhaps, we should talk now.”

  Donnie tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’m down with that. You wanna go first?”

  Caitlyn shook her head rapidly, so he rolled his shoulders. “I only brought up about us having kids because I wanted to see you happy, and I have never seen such unbridled joy as when Zach was cradled in your arms. I wanted to do that for you, because all I want is to make you happy.”

  She squeezed his thigh. “It had been an age since I held such an innocent in my arms, and it unnerved me. It felt wrong, to hold a child when I cannot hold my own. I am afraid to even contemplate becoming a parent with you, because I still have enemies out in the world. I could not bear it, if I were to love someone as a mother loves a child and they were taken away from me. I do not think I could survive it.”

  “Okay.”

  Caitlyn lifted her brow. “Okay?”

  He gave her a small smile. “Yes, okay. I can’t imagine what it’s like to suffer that loss, and I accept your feelings. I’m not going to lose the rag when you make a valid point. We can shelf it, talk again another day if you change your mind.”