Riptide (A Renegades Novel)

by Skye Jordan

  Faith caught sight of an empty one-person table in the corner, then sidestepped toward the bar and waved at Kelly.

  “Hey, girl,” Kelly said. “What’s up?”

  “Is it okay if I take the one-top in the corner for about an hour? I needed to get out of the store.”

  Someone yelled for service at the other end of the bar, and Kelly shot the man a glare that would have taken him off at the knees if he weren’t already plastered.

  When Kelly turned back to Faith, she said, “As long as you don’t do that”—she tipped her head toward the offender—“you can have the table all night.”

  “Thanks.” Faith pulled a twenty-dollar bill from her pocket and laid it on the bar. “Give me whatever drink has the most alcohol and cover it with enough sugar that I won’t even know its there.”

  Kelly pulled a glass from a shelf, set it on a rubber mat, and started mixing the drink. “That kind of day for you too, huh?”

  “I need to find complete and total detachment. Fast.”

  “This will do it.” Kelly lifted the finished drink, saluting Faith. “Here’s to a quick end to Christmas Eve.”

  Faith pushed the twenty forward, sad a day she’d always loved now caused her so much pain. Even sadder that she’d thought she’d found someone special to share it with only to be heartbroken.

  She wove through the crowd, claimed her table, and did her best to lose herself in the combination of luscious alcohol and these strange new online business opportunities.

  The alcohol shaved off an edge of stress, the crowd helped her shake the loneliness, and the ideas Grant had sketched out based on Taylor’s experience were, well, pretty amazing. Simple, yet powerful. And he’d tiered the startup, adding in ways Faith could learn how to produce the most effective videos, write the most interesting blogs, find the best sponsorships, set up the most profitable affiliate links…

  “Shit,” she murmured, looking over his smooth, slanted, male handwriting. “This is so…doable.”

  Turning to Taylor’s pages, Faith looked at the different numbers again to see where her friend’s profits came from. Compared that to Grant’s plan. And, hell, even if Faith consistently made ten percent of what Taylor did, it would help make ends meet. Thirty percent and she’d be secure, with the extra cash she needed to expand the business in ways that would bring in more sales, more contracts, more customers. Fifty percent and she’d be floating. She’d already made a couple thousand dollars in affiliate income on her single Christmas Fantasia Light Show video already.

  Excitement sparked hope. Hope lifted her mood. Maybe she’d get out from under this black cloud after all.

  At least financially. Personally…that was another story.

  “I’ve been looking all over for you.”

  Between the time the male voice touched her ears and the time she looked into the man’s eyes, Faith realized it was Grant. Her stomach fluttered into her throat, but a protective barrier closed around her heart.

  “What—?” They’d been broadcasting the Christmas tree lighting live from DC just a few hours ago. He should be at some party with all those important people she’d seen in the crowd. Or at his place doing Bridgette. Faith glanced over him. “Is that…a tux?”

  “Yeah. Long story. Can we talk? Maybe back at the store where it’s quiet?”

  Her gut clenched around a tug of war between her heart and her gut. Stand up for yourself, Faith. No one else will do it for you.

  “No. I came here to get away from the store. And I don’t want any more stories.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head back. Rubbed a hand over his face. Then said, “Hold on.”

  He disappeared into the crowd, giving Faith time to breathe. Time to process his sudden return. She hadn’t known whether he would be coming back to town or not. And she’d made peace with their good-bye.

  But now her guts were churning again. Her heart aching again. She couldn’t do this. She shouldn’t have to do this.

  And the fact was…she didn’t have to do this.

  Faith pushed all her papers into a pile and grabbed the laptop. But before she could stand, he was back with a chair. He dropped it opposite her booth seat, and gently pulled her things from her arms, setting them on the table.

  “I’m in the middle of something here.” Hold onto the anger. Hold onto the anger. If she didn’t, she’d cave. “The world doesn’t revolve around you, superstar.”

  He laughed. It was a tired, you-are-so-freaking-adorable laugh. “Man, I missed you.” He leaned forward, and took her hands. “That had to be the longest thirty-six hours of my ever-loving life.”

  “Stop it.” She jerked her hands back. God, she wasn’t going to make it through this day intact. She was ready to shatter into a million pieces. “This isn’t DC, and I’m not one of those women you can just drop in to fuck when it suits you.”

  As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she darted a look around. A few curious stares turned their way and her face flared with heat.

  “Whoa...” He leaned forward and braced his forearms on his thighs. “Faith, where did that come from? Why would you—?”

  “I watched the tree lighting on television, Grant. Did you want me to see you with her? Is that why you asked me to watch it? Is this some bizarre game to boost your ego?” She couldn’t do this. She was going to snap. “I said good-bye, Grant. And I meant it.”

  “I know. And, like an idiot, I didn’t realize that until just a few hours ago.”

  She scowled in confusion. God she was tired—tired of fighting, tired of losing, tired of hurting. “What? No, don’t answer that.” She pushed to her feet, but his chair blocked her path. “Please move.”

  He sat back in the chair, slumping a little, a look of disappointed shock on his handsome face. “Are you really going to just walk away without letting me explain? You see a few seconds of film and you’ve already got me in bed with another woman? You don’t think you know me better than that?”

  Now they were drawing more curious eyes. Faith sat back down and forced her voice low. “I know your history, Grant. And I saw you with an ex-lover hanging on you the day after you left me—“

  “Baby, I didn’t leave you—“

  “What do you expect me to think?”

  “Okay.” He put up his hands. “You are one hundred percent right about my history. And you did see Bridgette sneak into the ceremony and make a move.” He shrugged and his expression darkened. “So is that it for you? You don’t care enough about me—or us—to at least give me a chance to clear this up?”

  She pressed her elbow to the table and dropped her head into her hand, trying to get rid of the tears before they fell. “Grant, don’t,” she begged. “It was so good. I don’t want it to end like this.”

  His big hand cupped her cheek. He leaned close, his voice a heavy, urgent rasp. “I don’t want it to end at all.”

  She rolled her eyes and sat back. “I already told you—“

  “I don’t want anyone but you. I didn’t even ask Bridgette to be at the event, let alone hang on me. You can ask my agent—he set Bridgette up as my date for the parties before and after, because he didn’t know I was seeing you. She wasn’t supposed to be at the event. That’s why she showed up at the very end and was only there for a few minutes. Ask the other guys that were there.”

  “They’d all lie for you. I’m not stupid.”

  “Then ask Bridgette. She’s royally pissed at me for losing interest. She’d be glad to tell you my every flaw.”

  His explanation—even if it wasn’t true, though she was starting to think it might be, because why would he have come all this way when he had Bridgette willing to bang him in DC?—mollified the edge off her anger.

  And they sat there a long moment, staring at each other, his eyes begging, her ears smoking.

  “I was waiting for the President to get to the reception,” he finally said, “so I could take a damn picture with him and go home, when I rea
lized that while I was saying good-bye for the day, you were saying good-bye for good.”

  He suddenly seemed vulnerable in a way she’d never imagined this big strong hockey player could.

  Her throat thickened with emotion, but there was still too much gray space between truth and fiction. “Seemed like the right time. It was inevitable, and I didn’t see the point in dragging it out.”

  “Thing is,” he leaned forward again and collected one of her hands between his. Faith didn’t pull it away, but she didn’t engage either. And it excruciatingly difficult. “I don’t see it as inevitable A few days ago, I wanted to ask if you’d think about continuing to see me.”

  Faith’s heart tripped, and her mind scanned backward. She hadn’t seen any sign of that.

  “But, man, that’s no small thing in my world. And you’ve had so much to deal with, I didn’t want to put another pressure on your shoulders.”

  Disbelief narrowed Faith’s eyes. “I’m not your type. I’m not even close to your type.”

  He exhaled, long and slow, then thought a minute. “Okay,” he finally said, “I’m going to talk fast, because I know you’re not going to listen for long. You’re right, you’re not my type. Which is exactly why I can’t shake you. Why it felt like I was gone a month when I was only gone a day. Why I fell so damn hard for you. And why I can’t even think about another woman.”

  A current travelled through her chest. She didn’t know if it was excitement, fear or anger, but she pushed her chair back. She needed space—to think, to breathe.

  “The women I’ve seen over the past few years have all been just like Bridgette,” he went on. “They don’t care about anyone or anything but themselves and what they want. They care about their looks, their image, and their money. I slept with them because neither of us was looking for anything more than sex. They were easy to come by and easy to let go. But you were different from the start.”

  Faith’s heart was beating so fast she pressed her hand to her chest. “Grant—“

  “When I was in DC after being here for two weeks, I could barely stand it. Everyone felt plastic. Everything felt scripted. And all I wanted to do was come home. Only I didn’t want to come back here for Holly, or even my family. I wanted to come back for you, Faith. I wanted to come back because…” He released a breath, looked away, then looked back, and that vulnerability had returned. The one that twisted her heart. “I came back because you feel like home to me. And I don’t want to let that go. I don’t want to let you go.”

  All Faith’s breath rushed out of her chest on a soft sound of shock. “But...you have to go back. Your life is there. Mine is here. I have to figure out the store...” She pressed a hand to her face. Dropped back in the chair. And in her mind’s eye, her life spun like a cyclone. “I… You… How?”

  He pressed on elbow to the table and rested his forehead against his fingers. “This is why I didn’t bring it up before I left. I don’t have an easy answer. The regular season doesn’t end until mid-April. If we go into the playoffs, it won’t end until June. We get the summer off—mostly, and training camps start up in September.”

  He leaned forward and slid his hands up her thighs until he took hers again. “I haven’t thought through the details yet. I only know that I’ve been with enough women to know when I’ve found someone different, someone special, someone worth holding on to. And I want that with you, Faith. I want to at least try to make this work.”

  His pretty eyes were light with hope. So much hope. So much honesty. Her dad had always said she was a good judge of character. If he were here, he would tell her that all she could do was base her decision on what she knew of Grant first hand, not gossip or hearsay. He’d tell Faith to trust her gut and follow her heart.

  And Faith’s mind was spinning, trying to find a way to make it feasible. She didn’t realize how long she’d been lost in thought until Grant shrugged one shoulder and dropped his gaze. “If that’s not what you want, or its too soon—“

  Faith reached for his face, cupped his jaw, and lifted his gaze to hers. “It’s what I want,” she said breathlessly. “But, I’m not gonna lie, it scares the hell out of me.”

  Relief washed over his features and a smile brightened his face. The sight of the clouds clearing from his expression brought joy to Faith’s heart. She leaned in and kissed him. And with her lips against his, she knew—this was right. This was where she belonged now. It was the right time to take this risk.

  When she pulled back, he brushed hair off her face. “I was thinking about it a lot on the way home. My lifestyle isn’t great. I travel—a lot. But the owner bought the team a new plane last year, one that’s more efficient and faster and seats almost a hundred people. That means I’m usually home the same night I play. And if we’ve got back-to-back games where we’ll be gone a while, the owner lets the guys bring their girlfriends or wives. The team would cover your expenses on those trips like they cover mine—hotel, food.”

  “Wait, what…?” Streaks of heat coursed through Faith’s chest. Panic? Fear? Excitement? God, she wasn’t sure. “I don’t understand...”

  He reached out and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear. His eyes were soft and drenched with affection. He looked at her in a way no one had looked at her since high school.

  “I waited too long to tell you how I felt a couple of days ago, and I almost lost you. I’m not going to risk that again. You can always say no, but I won’t always have the opportunity to offer. I’d really like you to consider moving to DC with me.”

  “Oh my God.” Her world tipped on its axis. She put a hand over her hammering heart.

  He lifted his hands as if that would stop the barrage of thoughts and emotion that poured through her. “I know it’s a lot to ask, and if you’re not sure about us, we can find you your own place. But, man, I really love the idea of coming home to you after a long day on the ice, and that is something I never thought I’d say. My place is way too big for one person, so you’d have plenty of your own space. And yeah, it pretty much looks like a bachelor pad, but I could deal with some changes.” He grinned a little. “You know, small ones.”

  That made her laugh, but her lungs felt way too small, and she couldn’t seem to get enough air.

  “There’s real possibility in Taylor’s business model for you, and you can blog and tape videos from anywhere. You’ve already been thinking about making Joe manager, which would allow you to concentrate on this new business plan. And, baby, I would set you up one killer studio in the extra bedroom. I’m talkin’ professional grade equipment.”

  She laughed. “Sounds like a bribe.”

  “Call it what you want. And”—he winced—“don’t get pissed, but I was so excited about the possibilities for this new venture, that on the way home, I called another player who’s dating one of the anchors on a local morning show, and asked him to pitch the idea of a weekly Fix-It segment—”

  “What?”

  His wince transitioned into a grimace. “You don’t have to do it. It’s just in the idea phase—”

  “Oh my God.” She squeezed his hands. “That’s amazing. This is just all so—”

  “Overwhelming. I know. I’m sorry. It sounds like I’m going to get called back in the next day or two, and I want you to know everything before I have to leave. You don’t have to make any decisions until you’re ready.” He threaded their fingers. “We’ll just have to have phone sex.”

  That made Faith burst out laughing, and allowed her to take a full deep breath.

  “You could fly from New York to Ashville with just one connection,” Grant continued. “It’s about three-hours, and I’ve got a ton of frequent-flier miles you could use. You could come here once a month if you want, more often if you need to. When I’m not playing or training, I could come with you, but realistically, that won’t be until June, which is why I’m asking about you moving in with me and not offering to move here for you.”

  “The fact that you even thought ab
out it says everything.” She put a hand to her temple. “You’re making my head spin.”

  He grinned. “Tell me about it.” But then he just kept talking, his enthusiasm growing. “DC is such a cool place to live. God, there’s so much to show you. There’s always something to do. And I think you’d really enjoy the team. They’re no different from the guys you deal with in your store every day, and I know you’d be a welcome change to some of the high-maintenance women the other guys have in their lives. There’s a lot of laughter, bitching, practical jokes, and a whole hell of a lot of meals and hanging out together. We’re sort of one big ugly family, for better or worse.”

  Faith’s nose stung with encroaching tears. But these were happy tears. “That sounds…” Warm, joyous, fun… She laughed. “Amazing.”

  His brows shot up, and his eyes took on that stunned glaze. “Yeah?”

  She stroked his face. “And scary and unnerving, but yeah.” She kissed him and rested her forehead against his. “If you’re sure you want me around that much, I’m sure I’m ready to give it a try.”

  “No way.” He pulled back, eyes wide. “Really?”

  She laughed. “Why are you so surprised?”

  “Well… It’s… Because…” He regrouped. “Honestly, I didn’t think you’d leave the store. And I didn’t think you’d leave Holly. This is your home.”

  She curled her fingers into Grant’s collar. “My dad always said, home is only home because the people you love are there.” She scraped her bottom lip between her teeth, the realization that she had fallen so hard for this man so quickly making her nerves tighten and shiver. “So wherever you are, I guess that’s going to be my home from now on.”

  He cupped her face, scanning every inch while more emotions flashed through his eyes. Warm, real emotions that made Faith feel like the most beautiful, most wanted woman in the world.

  “Have I told you lately,” he asked, “how amazing you are?”

  “I doubt a girl could get tired of hearing something like that.”