Under Pressure

by Isobella Crowley

  Yes, that was cruel of me.

  But as 2019 draws to a close I’m forced to reflect on the progress this year. For a start it feels like January was only five minutes ago. And yet looking at the manuscript we published and laughs we’ve had, as well as my Goodreads challenge I’ve realized that something has been accomplished.

  This makes a change. And I think realizing this is a function of being able to look back on all of these tangible things that are traceable. I have never really been in a position in my life to be able to track progress in the same way. Obviously in education it’s a case of just getting through the year and doing the best you can. But this isn’t the same as being able to point to say a catalogue of work you put out, or a library of books you’ve read. This is new for me. But I’m sure if you’re reading this this isn’t a new concept the you! I’ve spoken to a number of readers over the last few years and I am continually blown away by the number of books you can consume in any given time period! I think I still have a very long way to go to catch you up.

  On the writing front, it’s been a wild ride. I had Brittany do a count for the number of books we’ve published this year, because my NINC re-application asked the question. (NINC is a writing association. I’m pretty sure I mentioned it in a recent set of author notes, in conjunction with the recent conference in Florida. They have pretty strict rules about us needing to qualify each year I guess, hence wanting to know the numbers).

  Turns out we’ve done 40 in total, and 19 this year. (She may have counted from November to November, for any sticklers who want to go and check….!)

  This includes titles under my alter egos: Oscar Andrews, and Isobella Crowley.

  As I mentioned to the folks on my email newsletter a few months ago, they’ve been received with varying degrees of success. Oscar Andrews started as an experiment to see whether a male pen-name would generate more traction than my Ell Leigh Clarke name. Unfortunately, probably due to bad covers that miss the mark, the series didn’t take off. My plan going into 2020 is to take these books and put them wide on other platforms like Kobo, Apple, Google Play, B&N. With new covers! At the very least it will be interesting to figure out how these other platforms work and evaluate the opportunities there.

  And that brings me onto the subject of publishing as a whole. Not to get too in-depth into the magic behind the scenes but as you may have already seen I’ve switched my mindset from being a sci-fi writer to being a publisher. You might also have noticed that this is exactly what MA has been trying to get me to do for at least the last year! No doubt he’ll jump in here and re-iterate this point.

  But I think it’s a valid course of action. Life as a writer is tenuous. You never know if the next series is going be a hit, and to what degree it will work or not work. Not only that but you can no longer be just a writer. There is a ton of marketing and brand management and business that needs to go with it - all of which takes time and focus. Short of somehow regaining the energy and drive that I had as a 20-year-old - which is an interesting story premise now that I come to think of it - I need to figure out a way of going about things differently in the coming year.

  For those who take an interest in astrology, and the psychic weather that corresponds with the movement of the planets, it looks like there are big opportunities coming as Jupiter moves into Capricorn. Jupiter is about possibilities and potential. Capricorn is about hard work and doing the things that are necessary. I read this as an opportunity to meet with potential by doing the things that are necessary. If you’re interested in this kind of archetypal insight then I strongly encourage you to check out the work of Robert Ohotto. I’ve been following his work for many years now. Recently taking one of his online courses I realized a couple of shifts that I can make going into the New Year.

  1.Adrenal fatigue is real, but I’m at the stage in my healing now where I have control over my energy levels. This is a huge step forward. Yet I still have work to do. I’m taking this Jupiter in Capricorn energy to mean that I can use discipline in order to heal better. For example, I know that that second cafeteria of coffee in the day is probably putting too much pressure on my adrenals and causing periodic relapses. I can certainly cut back. I can also work more diligently in the early hours of the morning and probably increase my productivity in the few hours of focused attention I have in a day.

  2.I also know that I also have to protect the energy that I do have. Some of this means less time on social media, although you might have noticed and pretty good that already. Some of it may also mean spending less time on calls, and more time in meditation and in just being quiet. I’ve noticed that this really helps me in general, but also creatively.

  3.I have an hypothesis that this new found discipline will allow me to increase my health and energy levels, which in turn will give me more energy to be focused and productive. This means I can do more writing, more stories, more projects, and more fun stuff the patrons and readers. All of this is positive stuff, right?

  4.While you’ll never hear me say that I have control over adrenal fatigue, there are no doubt small things that I can do that in helping my healing. Small things that I *do* have control over. I really believe that I’m at the point now where I can leverage these small things, and no longer be completely at the mercy of my health, or lack thereof.

  (Okay, so that’s my 2020 plan, AND my homework for the online course with Ohottie! BOOM. Multi-tasking. Efficiency. Yay – go 2020! HA :D)

  Goodreads

  You have heard me talk about Goodreads. Normally it’s in conjunction with tracking the reading I do, and the reading challenge set forth by my author-friend, Claire. However, it was recently pointed out to me that not only are all our books reviewed on that platform, but that actually people are liking them. I stumbled upon this in conversation the other evening as I was navigating the platform with a friend.

  Ellie (looking at page and realizing that people have been rating the Ascension Myth): Oh my god… Is that real? Are they really giving Molly 4.8 stars on Goodreads?

  Friend: that’s unusual for Goodreads. The ratings are normally about 20% lower than on Amazon. (Friend scrambles to look up the series on their computer.)

  Ellie: I think I’m reading this right. I had no idea so many people are rating the books over here. They have an author profile set up me and everything. I didn’t do any of this.

  Friend (finding page): oh no… that’s right. Wow. That’s unusual.

  Ellie: oh gosh, look! I wrote that. They’re quoting stuff that I wrote! I don’t believe this. This is incredible!

  Friend: that is pretty cool. Hey, you should claim your profile.

  (Next 20 minutes is Ellie jumping through hoops to claim her profile and prove she is who she says she is.)

  20 minutes later…

  Ellie: well, that was tedious. And they didn’t ask me for anything that revealing. Anyone could have filled that form out.

  Friend: no, they have checks and approvals and stuff. They’ll probably get you approved in a couple of days…

  Ellie (clicking back to the Molly quotes): I can’t get over it. People are quoting Molly! That makes me so happy!!

  Anyway, discovering that was the highlight of my week. Thank you to everyone who has left a review, or shared a quote, or added anything to do with the books on Goodreads. I was blown away, and I’m so grateful for all the love and support. Thank you.

  ++

  In terms of the Goodreads challenge, things are going well. If you remember I set my goal at 50, not 100. I’m still debating whether I should increase it for next year. I’m not sure. If the purpose for me is not to get through volume but to assimilate the information that I want to learn, and increasing the volume will make me want to read shorter books and not necessarily take the time needed on one difficult texts. With an easily achievable number it will keep me moving forward, but also taking the necessary time and reading the important books first. Okay, I just talk myself into not increasing my goal, but ke
eping it at 50 next year. Thank you for helping me figure that out!

  I’m currently at 59 of the 50 books. I have two audiobooks that I’ll get through before the end of the year, and another two or three that I just need to finish off. I’ll probably close out at around 65 all being well. I’m going to try not to start any new books until next year now. (Reading that is, not writing! Lots of writing to do still!)

  The problem with all of this though is the more I read, the more I learn and the more I learn the more I realize I don’t know… and the more I want to know. I find that this thirst for understanding is insatiable. What’s more – there are too many good books, and too much awesome information so easily available. I was born at a time when we have to go to the library for books, or had to physically buy them from the bookstore which meant walking into town. If you wanted to learn something there was no internet to just search for an immediate answer. You had to somehow acquire books that had the information in them. If those books even existed. This age of Kindle and Google and audiobooks and Amazon Prime has me continually in awe of how blessed we are to have this information our fingertips. My mind is blown every day. The only constraint on information consumption is how much time in a day I can focus! Needless to say I’m also continuously overwhelmed.

  Good Reads

  Okay so no discussion of Goodreads would be complete without a discussion of my favorite reads this year. What follows are my top 7.

  1.I Am That, Sri Nisargadatta Maharishi. Profound. No matter where you are in life or what you’re going through – I thoroughly recommend reading this from cover to cover. Twice. And then again. In fact, I’m putting on my “I’m reading this at least every year until I’m enlightened” list, which currently consisted of the Bhagavad Gita and The Power of Now.

  2.The Tibetan Art of Living and Dying, Sogyal Rinpoche. Fascinating. Reading this will be prepare you for dying. We’re all going to have to face death one day, no matter what our faith – or lack of it. My basic opinion on this the same strategy I advocate for investing. You can’t start early enough ;) These two spiritual books (1 & 2) have been immensely helpful to my development as a human being this year.

  3.Long Walk to Freedom, Nelson Mandela. My father fled from South Africa during this period in history. My great uncles were teachers and rebels and resisted apartheid. I mostly pass as white though, so in both England and the US I have all the privilege of being seen as a white person. I struggle with this conflict. On the one hand my father’s family left to give their descendants a better life. On the other hand I was born into the socio-economic class of the oppressor. I haven’t quite reconciled these two things yet, and my heart isn’t at peace with it. I feel like I have a lot more reading to do around the British colonies, and colonization in general, to fully grasp what happened.

  4.We Were 8 Years in Power, Ta-Nehisi Coates. Profound and insightful. After reading this I also realized that my favorite type of books are written by essayists. (White Fragility and Men Explain Things, were two other books I read this year, which I found emotionally triggering, but ultimately essential to living in this age. I’d thoroughly recommend all three of these titles, but be compassionate with yourself and others as you explore these ideas. There’s a lot of “high voltage” material in these books.)

  5.Radical Candor, Kim Scott – made me a better boss. I’ve recommended it to everyone on my team and will be re-reading it every year until I feel like I’ve “got it” engrained in my psyche!

  6.Attached, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. Changed my relationship to relationships! It also helped me understand a lot about why people behave in the confusing ways that they do: a little insight which has changed me profoundly.

  7.The New British Constitution, Vernon Bogdanor – infinitely fascinating, and ironically helps me understand the American political system a little better. It also helped me understand the root of the key challenges which laid the groundwork for Brexit to come about – even though it was written before Brexit was even a thing. (I plan to read the follow up next year, as well as the one by the professor at Liverpool university I’ve talked about in the past).

  Rex and Hexe

  Okay, one final thing before I let MA take over.

  We’ve been releasing Hexe over the last several weeks. We’re about to put book 4 into KU. However, we’ve realized that it might be better suited to other platforms – just because of the sub-genre and style of writing. As such, we’re going to be pulling it from KU in the coming weeks and months, and republishing it wide – over those other platforms. You’ll still be able to get it from Amazon – it just wont be in Amazon’s exclusive program. Sooooo…. If you want to use your KU membership to read it, you’ll want to do that now, before it disappears from there.

  End of PSA ;)

  Again, thank you for reading and for reviewing. I really hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as we have had creating it! Have a great holiday season, and 2020 – and I’ll look forward to writing to you again in the coming year.

  Ellie x

  Author Notes from Michael Anderle

  December 8, 2019

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  Thank you for not only reading this story, but all the way through to our author notes, as well!

  So, just the other day I was recording author notes with Ellie for our story Deuces Wild 5 and it went a little…

  Long.

  Like, real long.

  We had two hours to produce two sets of author notes and we should have had plenty of time if Ellie hadn’t diverted us so often. Ok, well, that’s not totally true.

  We just sat and caught up for the first half hour since we hadn’t spoken much lately and then when “I” was the bad guy and started pushing us to read the author notes, I realized we had a BOOK to record and I had a 9:00 AM hard stop.

  >

  Holy S$%T the book’s first author notes (Ellie’s) was like 3,000 words or something. More like a small story in and of itself. I’m looking at these pages of author notes thinking…

  There is no way we are going to get two books done today. Not if you have a burning hot brand waiting to sizzle our hindquarters – we were well and truly screwed.

  I had so many troubles getting the pagination correct during our hour long first author note reading that I started worrying if I was going to get a chance to read my author notes. (spoiler, we did.)

  The problem (ok, one of the problems) is Ellie is constantly reading and learning (as opposed to my reading and enjoying) and then she mentions the latest knowledge. Well, that’s like throwing me catnip if what she is reading has anything to do with something where I have an opinion.

  And it usually does.

  << Ellie edit: I’m glad you’re confessing your part in this! >>

  So, off we go debating into the future as we both argue our sides. What is nice, is it really IS a debate. Sure, I want to win but I don’t feel like I have to win. She is so damned logical, I feel ‘ok’ admitting if I’m wrong.

  Well, actually I think I come to the conclusion that I KNOW I’m wrong and am not too bullheaded to just keep arguing.

  Damn, now I realize that isn’t true all of the time. I might have been known to argue once…maybe twice… when I just didn’t want to give up.

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  This Story

  So, we conclude (for now at least) our little story about a rich dude who needed to grow up, and an old Vampire that maybe needed to accept a little love and both of their lives are changed for the better.

  I hope you have enj
oyed our stories and we promise to provide a few more.

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  Ad Aeternitatem,

  Michael Anderle

  Books written by Ell Leigh Clarke

  The Ascension Myth

  * With Michael Anderle *

  Awakened (01)

  Activated (02)

  Called (03)

  Sanctioned (04)

  Rebirth (05)

  Retribution (06)

  Cloaked (07)

  Bourne (08)

  Committed (09)

  Subversion (10)

  Invasion (11)

  Ascension (12)

  Confessions of a Space Anthropologist

  * With Michael Anderle *

  Giles Kurns: Rogue Operator (1)

  Giles Kurns: Rogue Instigator (2)

  The Second Dark Ages

  *with Michael Anderle*

  Darkest Before The Dawn (3)

  Dawn Arrives (4)

  Interplanetary Spy For Hire

  *with Michael Anderle*

  Expelled

  Exposed

  Deuces Wild

  *with Michael Anderle*

  Beyond The Frontiers (1)

  Rampage (2)

  Labyrinth (3)

  Birthright (4)

  Resolution (5)

  The Sword-Mage Chronicles

  Awakening

  Taken

  Heist

  Resistance

  Legba

  Storm