by Caitlyn Blue
My gaze automatically seeks out Emma. She’s watching me, but our eyes never get a chance to meet. It’s pretty obvious she doesn’t want to get caught looking my way. From her slight frown and the way her lips are pressed together, she’s not too happy I’m talking to Riley.
Well, isn’t this what she expects? That I’m only interested in hooking up with one woman after another? If I pay enough attention to Riley, Emma will assume I’m the player she imagines me to be. That should make her happy. Only I don’t want her to be happy. I want her to be miserable. As miserable as she’s made me.
I guide Riley toward her brother. “We should tell Paul we’re leaving.”
“Fine. Whatever.”
“We’re heading out,” I tell Paul, not glancing at Julie and perfectly aware that Emma is paying attention to every word I’m saying.
Paul glances at his sister. “Is he going to give you a lift home?”
“Eventually.” Riley winks at Julie as she puts her arm through mine. She was amused when Julie broke up with me the night before prom. For reasons I’ve never understood, Julie rubs Riley the wrong way. She thinks her brother can do better. It’s made for some tense moments over the years. “See you later, losers.”
I ignore everyone’s frowns as Riley drags me off. Paul knows perfectly well that I will never sleep with his sister. Since the day he caught us fooling around in her room, he has sworn to kill me if I ever touch her again. Paul’s a pretty mellow guy, but there are some things you just don’t mess with. Hooking up with Riley is one of them.
“Where do you want to go?” I ask her as we head across the parking lot to my car.
“Take me to the hottest club in Chicago. I want to get drunk and dance.”
24
Emma
Promptly at ten o’clock Sunday morning I am standing outside Zach’s condo, a tray with two coffees and a bag holding several bakery items in my hands. I use my elbow to ring his doorbell and stand before his door with a cheery smile plastered on my lips. I hope it doesn’t look as awkward as the ones I practiced in the car before I got here.
The way we’d parted the night before continues to burn in my mind. The things I said about falling for him being stupid weren’t meant for his ears. Granted, it’s true, but if I’d known he was listening, I would’ve found a nicer way of saying it. And what was with Julie not warning me that he was standing there? She had to see him approach.
She wanted him to hear. Damn her. She gets under my skin faster than anyone else. She goaded me to say what I did. But had she? She’d asked me if I was in love with him. What if I’d said yes? What would Zach’s reaction have been then? He’d probably have left the party even sooner.
I realize that I’ve been standing here thinking for several minutes already and Zach hasn’t answered the door. Leaning in, I jab the doorbell again. At least I have a reason for being here. We’re supposed to get together this morning to make all the arrangements for the Puerto Rico trip. In my bag I have all the research I’ve done on the island. Everything we’ll need to make this a bachelor/bachelorette party our group will never forget.
Did he forget we were meeting today? Now I’m wishing I’d texted him before I left the house to make sure he was up. And alone. The thought pops into my head unbidden. My stomach pitches as I’m gripped by uncertainty.
He did leave the bar with Riley last night. Not that it means anything. I’m sure he took her straight home. Only Riley’s never been the sort to hang out alone on a Saturday night. Maybe they went to another bar. It makes some sense that they would leave together. Zach has known Riley as long as he’s known Paul. I mean, she’s older and they don’t have that much to do with each other, but Zach did spend a lot of time at Paul’s house when they were teenagers.
I’m on the verge of setting down my burden and digging out my phone when the door opens a crack. Zach’s face appears.
“You look like shit,” I exclaim in relief, taking in his messy hair, the circles under his eyes, and the somewhat green tone to his skin. “What happened last night?” I’m not sure why I ask. He’s obviously hung over. I pluck a coffee from the tray and hand it to him. “A tall with three shots of espresso just the way you like it. Where did you go after you left the brewery?”
He blinks at me without comprehension and doesn’t move to let me in. He must be more messed up than I thought.
“You forgot we were meeting this morning, didn’t you?”
“Yeah.” He takes his hand off the door and rubs at his face. “Can we do this later? I’ll come by your house in a couple hours.”
“Why can’t we do it now?” I nudge the door open with my hip and start past him.
“This isn’t a good time. I just got up.”
“I’ve seen you hung over before. Go grab a shower and I’ll make you some eggs.”
I know he has eggs because I brought some over the last time I spent the night. I need protein in the morning. Zach prefers sugar. Which is why I brought the pastries. But there’s no reason why he can’t eat some eggs as well.
“Emma…”
He trails off, watching me because I’ve glanced toward the bathroom after noticing the shower is running. I can hear it through the closed bathroom door. I must’ve interrupted him.
“Seems like you were already going to take a shower,” I say hopefully, not wanting my thoughts to take me where they are eager to go. “You shouldn’t leave the water running like that.”
“Emma…”
“Go on.”
But he doesn’t move and suddenly I understand why. There is such a world of regret in his beautiful brown eyes. My heart clenches as I stare at him.
“Who’s…here?” I can barely get the question out.
Everything Julie said about him last night rolls over me like a tank. I’m crushed beneath the weight of my own stupidity.
“Riley.”
I take the hit to my chest with barely a whimper. “Paul is going to be so mad at you.”
It’s easier to scold him on behalf of my soon-to-be brother-in-law than to give into my own feelings of hurt and betrayal. It’s not as if I thought we were going to be exclusive. He has every right to sleep with whomever he wants. Who am I kidding? I really thought he was going to be my wedding fling.
“Julie’s going to be pissed if you try to sleep your way through her bridesmaids.” The accusation launches from me like an artillery weapon. “Who’s next in your sights? Brynn, or maybe Gabby? I think she and Evan are having problems. Or maybe you want to sleep with the bride. She’s having second thoughts about marrying Paul. She thinks she might have settled for him. I think she imagines herself still in love with you.”
“So Julie has finally come to her senses about my brother,” a female voice says from the doorway to the bathroom. I hadn’t noticed the water stopped running. “It’s about time.”
Riley is wearing Zach’s robe and I’m guessing not a lot else. Her hair is wet from the shower and she looks no less hung over than Zach. Great. Drunk sex. I hope he drank too much and that’s what caused him to ignore how I would feel about this. What am I thinking? It’s not as if he and I are dating or anything. I have no right to be mad at him.
But the thought of them together in the same bed that Zach and I…
Suddenly I’m swallowing bile. Biting my lip to keep the tears at bay, I back toward the door. “I’m sorry I interrupted. I’ve got to go.”
“Emma,” he calls after me, but I’m out the door and heading for the elevator. Thank goodness I hadn’t set my bag down because in my blind rush to escape I would have left it behind. As I jab the down button, I can hear him approach. His bare feet slap the wood floors, the sound coming closer.
“Nothing happened,” he says quietly, reaching for my arm.
I back away before he can touch me. “Whatever. It’s fine.”
“It’s fine?”
“Sure. We never made any promises to each other.”
“So, you want me to bel
ieve you’re not upset?”
“Oh, I’m upset, but not at you. I’m upset with myself for thinking…” I can’t say it. “We’ve hooked up a few times. It’s no big deal.”
“What have you been thinking?” His voice is soft, cajoling.
I want to throw myself against his chest and spill my guts. “That we were going to be each other’s wedding flings. Have some fun for a couple months.” The elevator door opens and I could weep with relief.
“And that’s what we’ve been doing.”
I shoot him an uncomfortable glance before stepping onto the elevator. “I wasn’t thinking I was going to have to share you.” And especially not with Riley.
He puts his hand on the elevator’s frame, preventing the doors from closing. “Why won’t you believe me when I tell you nothing happened with Riley?”
Staring at his earnest face, I do believe him. But it only makes a slight difference to how I feel. The adrenaline rushing through my system has awakened me to the problem inherent in pretending I’m okay with being in a casual relationship with Zach. I want to be more to him than just a fantastic fuck. I want to be everything.
“I believe you,” I say quietly. “But I have to go.”
He looks as if he wants to argue further but instead he says, “I’ll be by after I drop Riley off. We’ll talk then.”
25
Zach
Feeling like I took a crowbar to the head, I re-enter my apartment. Riley stands in my kitchen, the coffee Emma brought clutched in one hand, a half-eaten cruller in the other.
“Well, that was awkward,” she drawls. “Paul said you were seeing someone. I never imagined it would be Emma.”
She’s expecting me to ask why not. I stay silent.
“She’s so…”
“What?” I snap, daring her to finish her thought.
“The kind you get serious with.” Riley runs her finger down my chest and gives my breastbone a hard poke. “And you aren’t.”
“You’ve been gone. You don’t know anything about what I’m like these days.”
“Don’t I?” She smirks. “If you’re so hot and heavy how come you two played it really cool at the party last night? If I didn’t notice that something was going on between you, no one else will.”
“Emma wants to keep a low profile.”
“Why? Because she doesn’t want her big sister to know she’s sleeping with her ex-boyfriend?”
“Julie doesn’t care about that.” And then I remember last night’s conversation. “At least not in the way you’re thinking.”
“No? Then why did Emma say Julie was second-guessing marrying Paul? I always thought he was her booby prize after you cheated on her.”
I can’t believe what I’m hearing. “She loves Paul. He was never her second choice.”
“Are you so sure about that?” After a shower and some coffee, Riley is in full form. “Maybe she was okay with the idea of marrying my brother as long as you didn’t get serious with anyone. Then along comes her baby sister and suddenly you’re getting ideas.”
“Ideas about what?” But I know what she’s getting at. Settling down with one girl—not just one girl—a specific girl. Emma.
“Oh please, I saw the look on your face when she walked out. You’re a goner.”
As much as I agree with her, I don’t want that fact pushed on me by Riley. It was a mistake going out with her last night. A bigger mistake getting too drunk to drive her back to Paul’s place or having the sense to throw her in an Uber and send her on her way.
“I’m going to grab a shower. Get dressed. I’ll take you back to Paul’s.”
It may have been my bad judgment that got me into this mess, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take it out on Riley. She isn’t upset by my abruptness. Riley enjoys pushing buttons. She’s good at it and never seems to worry that she pushes everyone away with her love of drama.
I’m not in a talkative mood as I drive Riley back to her brother’s house. She puts in her earbuds and tunes me out. When I get off the freeway and begin winding through Paul’s neighborhood, I realize something is unresolved.
I nudge her arm and wait until I have her full attention. “What you heard this morning about Julie. That she’s having second thoughts about marrying Paul. You know that’s nothing more than wedding jitters, right? Julie doesn’t really mean it and if you say anything to your brother, he will be devastated.”
“Maybe it’s something he needs to hear.”
“Maybe.” My gut seizes at the thought of Riley destroying her brother’s life just so she can sit back and enjoy the show. “But it’s not your place to say anything.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“No. If it comes from anyone, it should come from Julie.” I make my voice as grim and determined as I’m able. “Are we clear?” When she opens her mouth to argue, I play my final card. “Don’t forget I know the circumstances of why you’re back in Chicago.” And I won’t hesitate to reveal her secret if she blabs to her brother about what Julie said.
“Sure. Fine. Whatever.” And then she’s getting out of the car and flashing me a cheeky smile that says she’s going to do whatever the hell she wants to do.
At least I now have an excellent reason to swing by and talk to Emma. She may be mad at me, but it’s her fault that Riley overheard what she did. We need to chat about damage control and whether or not to interfere further. Plus, I’m now remembering that we’d arranged to get together this morning to book the flights and accommodations for the Puerto Rico trip. Regardless of how pissed she is at me right now, that still needs to happen.
Sarah answers the door and looks conflicted about letting me in.
“I need to talk to Emma,” I say, hoping to sway her.
“I’m not sure that’s such a great idea right now.”
“I did not sleep with Riley. She crashed at my place because I was too drunk to drive her home.”
Sarah crosses her arms and manages to look down her nose at me despite being more than half a foot shorter. “You don’t need to tell me.”
“Emma believes me.” I’m halfway toward pleading, feeling more desperate by the second. “But I have a couple other things that we need to discuss.”
“Just let him in.” Gabby appears in the foyer and her expression is no friendlier, but at least she sounds reasonable. “Emma’s in her room.”
“Thanks.”
I slip past both women and take the stairs two at a time. Emma’s door is closed so I knock.
“What?” The door muffles her terse question.
“About what happened this morning…”
She takes her time responding. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Okay.” I decide to try a different tack. “We have to book the flights and figure out where we’re staying in Puerto Rico.”
“Can’t you just take care of it?”
I could, but I’m convinced if I leave without having some sort of conversation with her, things really will be over between us. “We’re supposed to be doing this together.”
She doesn’t answer for several seconds and I fully expect her to tell me to go away. Instead, the door opens and she gestures me inside. Since she occupies one of the smaller bedrooms, there isn’t a lot of open space between her queen-size bed and the dresser.
Emma shuts the bedroom door and turns to confront me. Her beautiful face wears a haunted expression. “Is Riley going to blab to Paul what I said about Julie?”
My heart sinks that this is what tops her list of concerns.
“I told her not to, but you know Riley. She loves drama, and any chance she can get to take a shot at Julie...” I trail off, my fingers twitching with the need to wrap Emma in my arms and soothe her misery.
“This is all my fault.” Unshed tears shimmer in her eyes. “It would kill Paul if he thought Julie had any doubts. Tell me she won’t hurt her brother just to piss off my sister.”
“I wish I could, but sometimes she s
ays stuff for effect without considering the damage.” I decide a show of trust is what Emma needs right now. “But in this case, I think we may be okay for a while. Riley told me something in confidence that I’m holding over her at the moment. I’m going to share it with you because we’re in this together.”
Her body tenses and she looks like she wants to disagree, but instead she nods.
“Riley did something really stupid at her job and is basically blacklisted with all the designers in Paris. She’s broke and moving back to Chicago. She doesn’t want Paul to know the circumstances surrounding why she’s leaving Paris.”
“I’m not at all surprised she messed up.” Emma’s lips flatten into distaste. “And I won’t say anything about it as long as she keeps her mouth shut about what Julie said.”
“Now that we’ve settled the problem with Riley, I think we should talk about what’s going on with your sister. Is she seriously questioning whether she should be marrying Paul three months before the wedding?”
“I don’t know. I wish I could say this is all just pre-wedding jitters.” She stops and glares at me as if her sister’s cold feet are my fault. “She can’t stop thinking about you. She wonders if she hadn’t pushed you so hard in high school that maybe you two would still be together.”
“You can’t be serious?” Where the hell is this coming from?
“You were her first,” Emma says, looking miserable. “I think part of her will always be in love with you.”
“No way. She and I weren’t that serious.”
“You dated for a year and a half.”
“In high school.”
“She’s your longest relationship to date.”
“I…” Well, that’s certainly true. “Your sister and I had fun together.” At my use of the word fun, Emma’s eyebrows rise. Yeah, I had sex with her sister. Shit. “We were kids. No one thinks about being together forever in high school. It’s all about college and what kind of career you want. Half the time you never keep in touch with the friends you graduate with.”