Started From a Selfie

by Nicole Falls

  “HEY! OK! Child in the room here,” I yelled, popping up from my stool.

  They both just laughed and paid me no attention as they moved into the kitchen, so Noelle could cook. Seeing them together just reminded me of the damn set of emoji eyes sitting in my notifications that I had no idea what to do with. An emoji reply…really my guy? He totally could have given me something to work with here instead of a pair of googly eyes.

  “You know you’re overthinking this right?” Joey laughed at me after my ten-minute rant about leaving emoji as response instead of using your words, “You could just send him a hey whassup hello and call it a day instead of doing whatever this is.”

  “Wow, I thought you were on my side,” I replied.

  I was being dramatic. I knew it. Joey knew it. But neither of us was supposed to acknowledge the facts of it all. It was an unspoken rule of our friendship. Or so I thought.

  “I’m on the side of whatever makes the best story. Besides, you know you could have just asked him what he meant by the damn emoji when you slide into his DM, sis. You’ve been sending yourself into a tailspin unnecessarily this whole time. What is this? I mean I know you have your hang ups, but this…this feels…different.”

  I could tell by the tenderness that crept into her tone that Joey was genuinely trying to figure out what my deal was and to be perfectly frank, I didn’t even know where to begin with an explanation.

  “Jo, I don’t even know, sis. I just don’t even know,” I replied, sinking my head down into my upturned palms and sighing.

  “So, are you gonna ask him what it meant or are we going to table this discussion until after we retrieve your car from Holt’s?”

  I made a non-committal sound, shrugging, “Isn’t that too lame though? Why is this so hard?”

  “Girl…” Jonique sighed.

  “I know…I know. Let’s just…lemme grab my jacket so we can go get my car.”

  Luckily, there was nothing seriously wrong with my car. It ended up being a short in some wiring or something, but easily, and more importantly, economically reasonable to fix. Joey came over to drive me to get the car since we had another workshop to facilitate later in the evening and we needed to go over a few new details we’d added to the presentation. Instead of doing that, however, I’d pulled her into my web of ridiculousness in which I analyzed a damn emoji from every possible angle. When I came back downstairs, Joey rushed me out of the door, refusing to make eye contact.

  “What’s going on, Jo?”

  “Nothing,” she replied a little too quickly, which let me know that something was definitely up.

  “So, we’re choosing to serve the Lord with lies on today, sis?”

  “I just wanna make sure we get your car and don’t end up being late is all. C’mon.”

  I looked at my watch, noting that we had a smooth two and a half hours before we actually had to be to our workspace which was right around the corner from the shop where my car was being serviced.

  “Girl…just let me grab my phone then we can roll.”

  “I got it, here…” Joey replied, holding it aloft from her position near the door, “Can we go now?”

  “Why do you have my phone?”

  “Because I was being efficient?”

  “You don’t sound too sure about that. What did you do, Jo?”

  “What makes you think I did anything?” Joey asked, her normally smoky voice sounding decidedly squeaky, which was the first clue that she wasn’t telling the truth. Joey was the worst liar and her voice went from late night soul to Brittany the Chippette whenever she wasn’t telling the truth.

  “Because you sound like you have sisters named Eleanor and Jeanette right now. So, I’m going to ask you again, what did you do?”

  “I mighta kinda sorta slid in lil buddy’s DMs for you?”

  “Jo.”

  “Ju.”

  “You know I hate you, right?” I said, walking over to snatch my phone to see what she sent.

  “I love you, too, boo,” she replied, blowing a kiss in my direction.

  I rolled my eyes before locking up and following her to her car, so we could get over to Holt’s. As soon as I settled into the car, I opened up Instagram to see what the hell Joey sent this man whose name I still didn’t know.

  Message sent to @qdagr81: so do those eyes mean you’re interested in going half on a baby with me or nah?

  I’d just wrapped up checking the car I was working on to make sure it would start with no issues when my phone buzzed. Before I could pull it out of my pocket to check it, Prentiss approached asking if I was finished with the job I was working currently because the owner of the car was upfront. I let him know that I was gonna give the car a quick vacuum and wash, but that shouldn't take more than ten or so minutes. I figured since it was a VIP client, we should be giving the full service, red carpet treatment. Approximately, eight minutes later I pulled the car around front, reentering the service center waiting area to return the keys to its own.

  The waiting room was half-filled, although most of the folks in the space weren't paying me any attention as all eyes were on the television screen. There was a breaking news story about an active hostage situation. Task at hand momentarily forgotten, I too turned my attention to the television as the newscasters gave details about the family who was currently being held against their will by an embittered ex of one of the household's members. The news reported that there were currently negotiators trying to talk the gunman down to prevent any casualties. I wondered what it took to get someone to that point. That had to be some next level punani, I thought, shaking my head. Presently, I got back to the task at hand, looking down at the work order to call out the customer's name for the car I'd just finished servicing.

  "Juniper Holliday," I called out.

  There was a moment of no movement, before two women got up headed toward me. They started heading toward me when suddenly the one in back, grabbed the one leading the way toward me, and started whispering furiously. I leaned back on the counter awaiting their approach, when familiarity suddenly struck. She was wearing a baseball cap, so I hadn't recognized her immediately, but the woman in the back was shorty from Instagram. Dressed down, she was still bad as fuck. She was dragging her feet, until her friend forcibly pushed her ahead and damn near into my arms. Caught off guard by her friend's sudden movement, the woman lost her footing and was on her way to the ground. I was leaning on the counter but moved forward to help brace or avoid the fall. I misjudged honey's speed because the next thing I knew we were both sprawled on the ground, with her planted firmly on top of me.

  "Oh my god! I'm so sorry," she exclaimed, hopping up immediately with a hand out trying to help me up.

  I brushed her hand off, bracing one of my own against the floor, before pulling myself up. Since she'd come at me full force and I was caught off guard, I was a bit slower to get up.

  "No worries, sweetheart," I replied easily, "I assume one of you is Juniper?"

  "Mmmmhmmm, her," the friend said, shoving Juniper into my direction again, "But there's no need for formalities, future baby daddy. Friends call her Juju. But I'm sure you already knew that."

  Juniper turned toward her friend scowling and muttering something that sounded like a threat of an ass beating, but the friend just laughed it off.

  "Your car is right out front," I replied, holding out her keys.

  Juniper grabbed the keys and made a beeline for the front door while her friend moved at a slower pace before turning back to face me.

  "So, does that mean you're not tryna go half on a baby with my sis or nah?"

  "Excuse me?"

  "You're the guy, right? From the IG photo. I saw the spark of recognition in your eyes, so I know you know who she is. So whassup? Are you otherwise engaged? Or disinterested?"

  "I..."

  "I mean, it can't be disinterest because a- she's fine as fuck and for two, you were practically drooling when you realized who she was, so..."

&nb
sp; Before I could even attempt to respond, Juniper stuck her head inside the door, "Jonique Latrice Langford, you have three seconds to bring your ass."

  "Relax, sis. I'm coming," the friend who I now knew as Jonique replied.

  She pulled out a business card, placing it in the pocket on the front of my coveralls and said, "Look, I don't know what's what, but if you're interested in my girl—take the shit offline. Our office isn't far from here. Come through, mack her down the old school way."

  I chuckled, "Seems like your girl is the one who ain't interested. I was zaddy on the internet, but she couldn't get outta here fast enough today."

  "You caught her off guard, without her armor. Trust me, she's interested."

  I chuckled, "Aight, bet. Good look, Jonique."

  "Friends call me Joey."

  "Joey," I acknowledged with a head nod.

  "I'm serious, don't be a stranger!" she replied before strutting from the building.

  Through the door I could see the two ladies fussing back and forth, Juniper gesticulating wildly as Joey calmly laughed. The exchange was no more than ninety seconds before both jumped into their respective cars and peeled out of the parking lot. I reached into my pocket, pulling out the business card that Joey had placed there. I thought that it was her card, but it was Juniper's, replete with all her various means of contact from business address to email to phone to social media handles. Flipping the card over, I looked at the logo before letting out a loud laugh. Emblazoned in a purple circle were the words "mind your own" and an emoji cat whose eyes were replaced with hearts. I pulled out my phone to navigate to the website on the business card to figure out what kind of business these two ladies were running exactly.

  There were a few notifications of texts and other apps, but I cleared those and opened up a new Safari window, typing mindyourownp.org into the search bar. Their site loaded quickly, and I navigated to the about page. In a few concise paragraphs the ladies gave the history about the genesis of their business, a sex-positive service based in teaching women about their bodies and sexual satisfaction. Both ladies were certified sexologists—huh who even knew that was a thing, I thought. I was so caught up in exploring their website that I hadn't noticed that Prentiss had snuck up behind and was reading over my shoulder.

  "Rockin' the Mic? Now you know yo ass is too old to even think about becoming a rapper, Q?"

  "You should be minding your business, old man."

  "I got your old all right," he replied, muffing me in the head, "Get your head out the clouds and back to work, fool."

  I laughed, shoving him away from me and heading toward the back to complete my next work order. The rest of the day moved at a glacial pace since there wasn't much to do. Prent actually ended up letting a few of us go a little earlier than anticipated since there was nothing more for us to do than to sit around looking at each other's ugly mugs. NBA Playoffs had officially started, so a few of the guys decided to go to For the Love of the Game to grab some brews and catch a game or two. I accompanied them since I wasn't about to do anything but go home and do the same thing. We decided to just walk over to the bar since it was pretty warm out. On our walk, we ended up passing the Mind Your Own...workspace and damn near being run over by a group of pretty ass women who were exiting. They were so caught up in their conversations that they didn't even notice us grease monkeys walking through. Darrell tried spitting some weak ass game but was quickly shot down when all the women flashed their ring covered hands as if they were background dancers for Beyoncé. The rest of us laughed, giving him shit for being unobservant and super thirsty as usual.

  The bar was unsurprisingly packed, but we managed to grab a table near the end of the large bar, close to the kitchen. After taking our food and drink orders, the server scurried away quickly, looking uncomfortable by the way Darrell was leering at her.

  "Rell...I'ma say this one time and then I'm done," I started, "You gotta stop being such a creep, my man. You gotta know that shit ain't attracting any honeys. And I don't need them thinkin' we all creeps by association, bruh."

  Larry and Will nodded in agreement. They were sick of his mess too and usually didn't even bother inviting him out with us because we didn't wanna deal with the backlash.

  "Everybody ain't a pretty boy with hoes sweating them on social media, Q. I do what works."

  "Negro, please. It never works. Ever." Will replied, laughing.

  "Aww, don't be sad, Rell," Larry broke in, "Someday your prince will come."

  "Fuck you, nigga," Darrell replied, making us all break down in laughter.

  "Man, just how small is this town tho? You saw that Instagram shit, too?" I asked, "Shorty actually came in the shop today."

  "Word? She a stalker type?" Darrell asked.

  "Total coincidence. She seemed pretty low key. Her homegirl was a lot though," I laughed.

  "Hook me up?" Darrell said.

  "Nigga," Larry, Will, and I said at the same time, laughing.

  "So what up with it, Q? You finna get at shorty?" Larry asked.

  "I...ionno, man. We'll see."

  They all just looked at me and shook their heads, mumbling various versions of "this mothafucka" under their breaths. I'd already decided that I was gonna hop down on Juniper as soon as I'd gotten a free moment, but that wasn't any of their business. Don't get me wrong, these dudes were cool to work with and even grab a brew or two with, but I swore they gossiped more than women. If I gave them any inkling of my plans for getting to know Juniper, it'd be the topic of discussion in the shop until Rell did something stupid to make everyone forget they were discussing me and mine. At the rate Rell did dumb shit, it likely wouldn't have been more than a couple days, but more than a couple minutes of discussing my personal life was more than I cared to share with these cats.

  We were in the Uber to the airport in the wee hours of the morning, but that didn't stop Junie from being a chatterbox the entire time. Apparently, there was a scandal because Miko's cousin saw Miko's boyfriend and somebody else from their friend group all hugged up in somewhere...the details were fuzzy because I, admittedly, tuned out about forty-five seconds into the conversation.

  "Can you believe that, daddy?" Junie asked, bringing me back into the present.

  "Nah, babygirl, that's crazy," I replied by rote, having zero idea what she was referencing.

  "I know you weren't listening, old man," Junie smirked, "So let's talk about something that does interest you...how's my new stepmommy?"

  "Junior...please."

  "Did you make her take down that picture, so the thirst buckets could stop replying?"

  'Little girl, what are you talking about?"

  "She deleted the pic!"

  "How do you know?"

  "Because I kinda sorta maybe cyber stalked her a little. But in my defense..."

  I said nothing, motioning for her to continue, but silence reigned in the Uber.

  "Your defense...?"

  "Ok, I really don't have one, but daddy..."

  "Mind your business, Junie."

  "But--"

  "Quincey...mind your business."

  The bass in my voice shut her up quickly, a muttered, "Fine then, be forever alone" was her only rebuttal. I let that slide because I might've deserved it. Fact of the matter was the rest of my work week got crazy, so I couldn't slide over to her place of business with lunch like I'd planned. Then it was time for Junie and me to head down to Arizona to visit the folks, so my plans of the in person mack down, as her homegirl had put it, had been effectively squashed.

  I'd spent the past four days getting double teamed by my daughter and mother about still being single and never giving Junie siblings and my mother a "proper daughter-in-love". Thankfully, Junior had kept her mouth shut about Juniper in front of my mother because I could only imagine how that would have gone. It was bad enough I had to endure her trying not so covertly to set me up with every single woman from age twenty to fifty-five that she knew. And my dad was no help as he pas
sively sat by and let my mother get away with her shenanigans. Secretly, I think he too was jonesing to be a grandpa again because all that free time of retirement gave him and my mother a bit too much time to sit around the house looking at each other, and both welcomed any sort of distraction from their normal day to day routines. Damn shame when a man can't even count on his father to have his back.

  "Ok, I know you told me to mind my business, but can I ask one question, daddy?"

  "Nope."

  The Uber driver barely stifled a laugh that let me know she'd been listening to the duration of our conversation, despite trying to act like she wasn't paying us any attention.

  "Daddy!"

  "You already know too much, little girl, so whatever question you have is gonna violate you minding your business as I kindly asked you to, so...nah, you can't ask just one more question."

  Quincey pouted, huffing and blowing out a breath while crossing her arms over her chest. She sat there with her lip poked out looking all of eight years old, instead of nearly sixteen. It was nearly cute enough for me to give in, but Ant was right. I did need to establish boundaries with Junior. I spent too much time treating her like my lil road dog, giving her too much information about me and how I move that she didn't need to be privy to. She'd get over it soon enough, hell it had been a long time in the making anyway.

  "Fine!" she huffed once again.

  "Yo, relax. You're doing a lot right now. You're not too old to get embarrassed," I ground out in a low tone that made Quincey sit up immediately, uncrossing her arms and turning to stare out of the window.

  We made it through the rest of the ride and TSA with the kid remaining quiet. Even my attempts to make conversation with her by asking about her friends or if she wanted something to eat or drink were met with nonverbal responses. It wasn't until we were taxiing on the runway, damn near ready for takeoff that she spoke again. I'd already settled in with my headphones playing some classic JayZ when Junior tapped me on the shoulder. I paused the music, turning toward her to give my undivided attention.