by Raye Morgan
His fingers curled around hers and held her tight.
“I’m not giving up Savannah. I think you understand that by now. She’s mine and she’s a part of me.”
He blinked hard and she realized he was more emotional than she’d thought. His story of his childhood had touched her deeply. She knew he was right—she understood. He wasn’t going to give his baby up, not for anything. She knew exactly how he felt.
She looked at him, hesitating and wondering how to approach this. As far as she could see, there was only one hope left. Reaching out, she took both his hands in hers and gazed at him with tears in her own eyes.
“I know, Jake,” she said softly. “Believe me, I understand.”
He cleared his throat and coughed, obviously not ready to go on, and she assumed he was finished.
“Jake, I know you can’t give her up and I can’t really ask you to. But I told you I had one last lone crazy idea to help solve our problem. Last night you were interviewing for a nanny to help you with her. You’re obviously going to need somebody.”
She shrugged and smiled at him.
“I want that job. Please.” She held on to his hands tightly. “Please let me stay with her. I’ll be quiet and discrete and won’t...”
“No.”
“No?” Her broken heart fell into pieces before him. “No?” It was a cry from her soul. “But, Jake...”
He tugged on her hands and pulled her up to face him as he rose. “No. Because, Sara, I’ve been thinking it over. And I think Jill is right. I think we ought to get married.”
“You think...what?” Stunned, she could only stare at him, not sure she understood.
He stared down at her earnestly.
“I don’t want my baby growing up without a mother like I did. I know from personal experience how important it is to have a mother behind you, to keep you strong and make you understand what is right and what is wrong. To give you love and teach you compassion for other living things. To teach you how to dream.” He shook his head, about to get too emotional again. “She needs a father for a lot of things, but a mother is indispensible. Gotta have one.”
He searched her eyes, gauging how she felt about it, but her mouth was wide-open and she was staring at him as though he’d suddenly turned green.
He touched her cheek. “I know you said you were dead set against getting married. But I know if you think it over and...”
“I said what?” she demanded, finally getting her voice. “Oh, no. That was then. This is now. I...I’ve been rethinking a lot of stupid opinions I once had.”
A sudden grin broke on his face. “Sara...”
“See? I can change my mind, too.”
“All the better.”
“But, Jake, are you...? Do you really mean...?”
“I’m asking you to marry me, Sara. Please say yes.”
CHAPTER NINE
IT WAS ALMOST nine o’clock and they didn’t have much time for celebration, but they celebrated anyway. Jill came downstairs, carrying Savannah, who cried out with joy when she caught sight of Jake, spreading her arms to be taken up by him.
He took her and began to dance around the room, then grabbed Sara to join them. They were laughing and crying and explaining things to Jill, and then to Connor when he came into the room, when the phone rang.
The seriousness of the morning came surging back. Sara took one receiver and put it on speaker, while Jake took another, just in case. Mrs. Truesdale, the counselor on the line was the one they had each spoken to previously, and she launched right into it. Her explanation was filled with percentages and probabilities and all kinds of technical and scientific terms for the raw data in the results, most of it going right over Sara’s head. She was too filled with happiness and wonder at Jake’s proposal to have room in her heart or her mind to try to analyze things she only barely understood. But the gist of it all was pretty much what they had expected. Jake had been proven to be Savannah’s biological father. It was all over on that score.
Mrs. Truesdale advised them to take a look at some forms she had sent them by email. She’d also posted the full document for them to look over and she advised them to take note of the final paragraph which described the grace period and what it meant.
“Here’s what that is all about,” she said. “There will be a grace period during which the father will take possession of the baby, but finalization won’t be complete for three months. During this period, the previous guardian has the right to file an appeal. She might want to consult an attorney as to how she might do that and under what terms. It would be best if both of you were to familiarize yourselves with the rules and guidelines of our conditions so that you can judge whether the new guardian’s activities and attitudes are in line with agency recommendations. I’ve emailed you that information.”
“So I’m on probation?” Jake asked, a little startled by the news.
Sara frowned. She hadn’t realized it but she had gone through the same trial period. Apparently she’d passed with flying colors. She made a mental note to check it out so that she could make sure Jake didn’t do anything that might cause any problems.
For some reason, they didn’t tell the counselor about their marriage plans. Maybe because they were so new—maybe for some other reason. Who knew?
They did hear about papers that had to be signed and agreed to meet Mrs. Truesdale in Seattle within the week to do so. And then hung up and looked at each other with shining eyes and got back to celebrating.
* * *
Sara spent the next few days in a blur of happiness, interrupted periodically by moments of panic when she wondered if all this was really true. Could she be dreaming? Making it up in her own demented mind that might be trying to compensate for the horror she’d been contemplating if she lost her baby? It was all just too good to be true.
But then Jake would come by and the two of them would play with Savannah and take her on a picnic or a ride across the bay to a forest or a fun zone and she would know that this was what life was going to be like from now on. She couldn’t imagine anything better.
There were other moments when she wondered if Jake was having second thoughts about it all. He was aloof at times, staring off into the distance, thinking hard about something he didn’t seem to want to share with her. She wondered if he regretted what he’d done.
But there wasn’t much time to worry about that. There was a wedding to plan!
Jill was in heaven. Sara had done most of the heavy duty planning on her wedding to Connor just months before, and now she was going to be able to pay her back with her own hard work.
Sara spent most of her time moving things back into her beach house. The workmen had finished and everything was gorgeous, but new furniture was a must—especially for the nursery.
At the same time, she could pop in and say “hi” to Jake next door any time she felt like it. And that was a lot. She got to know his friends better by being so close, and that was a good thing. They were all, without exception, remarkable men once she got to know the personalities behind the tough guys images. They all seemed to have nicknames, like Mr. Danger, or Two Speed. Jake was called Cool Hand and his best friend was a tall, handsome guy named Starman.
Sara asked him about how he got his nickname one day when he was helping her fold the sheets she’d just washed and dried.
“So why do they call you Starman?” she asked him.
He looked puzzled at her question. “Why not?”
She shrugged. “Does that mean you’re interested in the stars? Or did you want to be an astronaut when you were younger?” She looked at him curiously.
“No.” He frowned as though he was beginning to think she might have a screw loose. “They call me Starman because it’s my last name. Kevin Starman.”
“Oh.” She laughed, chagrined. “I hadn’t thought of that one.”
He was a gentle giant, but she had a feeling she might not recognize the man he turned into in a firefight.
“This has all been happening so fast,” Jill said, looking at her sister searchingly. “We haven’t had any time to talk.” She frowned. “Are you sure about this?”
Sara’s smile was glowing. “Are you kidding? It’s saving my life.”
“Yes, but...” She made a face of concern.
“Don’t worry.” She patted Jill’s hand. “We get along great, and we both love Savannah. Everything will be fine.”
Jill shook her head. “I don’t know. I hate to think I helped push you into something like this. I mean—you should be marrying someone you love. Someone you can build a life with...”
She waved that away. “Savannah is my life. This will help her. That’s all I care about.”
“But, you’ll be tied to Jake and...”
She hugged her sister. “Jill, don’t worry. I haven’t even thought twice about that. Seriously. No second thoughts at all. I’m ready. I want to do this.”
She hesitated, wondering if she should tell her sister the truth. No, she would just worry even more if she knew—that Sara was head over heels in love with Jake. No doubt about it. No other man in the world would ever cause her to waver. She loved him.
It was a strange place to be in, something she’d thought would never happen to her. But it had, and right in time, too. The trouble was, she had no idea how he felt about her and it terrified her to make guesses. What was he thinking?
“You don’t really know him, you know,” Jill said, giving her a start. Was Jill reading her mind?
“Jill, aren’t you the one who went cruising over to his house before dawn and set this whole marriage thing up?”
“Yes, but...” Jill frowned thoughtfully. “When you come right down to it, I don’t really think I was the one who talked him into it.”
Sara stared at her. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh, I tried all right. I tried very hard, because you were so miserable and I couldn’t stand seeing you that way. But when I left him that morning, he was still totally unconvinced. At least, that was the way he seemed to me.”
Sara shrugged. “Then what do you think sent him over the edge?” she asked.
Jill thought for a moment. “You know what? I think it was his friend, that Starman fellow. I saw him pulling up just as I was leaving the house that morning. I’d done all I could and I thought I’d failed.” She shrugged again. “I left in deep depression, thinking all was lost. Two hours later, Jake was at our house asking you to marry him.” Her eyes narrowed and she pressed her lips together as she thought about it. “Starman must have said something that convinced him.”
Sara frowned as well. That seemed odd. She would ask Jake about it someday. Right now, she didn’t want to risk upsetting any apple carts, so she wasn’t going to ask questions about anything. Once they were married and it was a done deal, then she would get creative and curious. But until then, she was treading carefully.
But what did it matter? They were getting married. Savannah was going to have a mother and a father. Whatever happened between her and Jake as a result—well, that was still to come, and they would deal with it as it happened. For now, she was a happy woman.
* * *
The wedding was on the beach in front of Sara’s newly renovated house. And, incidentally, in front of the house Jake was renting. Very convenient. The ceremony was small and private. Jake had a small group of friends, mostly Army buddies that Sara had seen hanging out at his house—including Starman as his best man. Jill and Connor brought the twins and took care of Savannah. Luckily they had a family preacher they could contribute to the mix, and he turned out to be wonderful. Sara had invited a few of her friends from the magazine she’d worked for over the years. That was it. A small but elegant family wedding.
It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining on the ocean and the blue of the water contrasted to the blue of a sky filled with white, puffy clouds. Sara felt like she was walking on air.
Jill had married Connor just months before and she’d loaned Sara her wedding dress. It was white and lacy and quite traditional. The bodice was form-fitting and encrusted with seed pearls, as was the edging on the veil. She carried purple irises and felt like a queen.
Jake had balked, but in the end, he’d agreed to wear a tuxedo. He was looking very handsome. But was he as thrilled as she was? Probably not. Still, she couldn’t hold back her joy. She felt like one lucky girl.
Jill had baked the most gorgeous wedding cake she’d ever seen, and after the ceremony, their visitors did their best to eat it all as they stood around and chatted and congratulated the happy couple. She and Jake didn’t seem to have any appetite. He kept looking at her and smiling as if they shared some secret joke on everybody else. She couldn’t help but laugh. She was so happy.
Starman made a toast to their happiness and she could have sworn he had tears in his eyes. Jill had hired a string quartet who played lovely music during the ceremony and then more modern tunes during the reception, as they ate Jill’s cake and laughed a lot. They kicked off their shoes and danced in the sand, with all their friends cheering them on.
A lovely day, simple and elegant. A day to remember, for the rest of their lives.
* * *
And then they were alone.
They’d decided to live in Sara’s house. It was finished and beautifully decorated—just right to begin a new life in. Jill and Connor had taken Savannah with them for the rest of the day, so that Sara and Jake could settle in and get comfortable before they had to deal with a baby.
They explored the house and she showed off her favorite elements, like the reading nook in the stairway landing, and the glass-enclosed breakfast room that could have served as a greenhouse.
“This is really a nice place,” he told her. “I’m beginning to feel downright civilized for the first time in my life.”
She smiled at him. “I love this house,” she admitted. “And now I’m going to love it even more with you in it.”
He turned to look at her, startled, and she flushed, wondering if she’d said too much. There was a frisson of excitement between them. Every nerve she owned seemed to be sizzling. They were married now. What next?
She led the way back downstairs to the kitchen and she began a cheerful line of chatter while she cut them both pieces of their wedding cake and they sat down at her little counter to eat them.
What next?
The question was in the air and in her head. She was talking a mile a minute, but that wasn’t helping. What next?
“So this is where we’re going to live,” he murmured, looking around approvingly. “I’ve gotta say, I like it. And it seems to be perfect for Savannah.”
Sara nodded. “Renovated for her, custom-made.” She glanced at him. “What do you foresee doing with your days?” she asked, suddenly wondering why they hadn’t explored this topic before. It seemed pretty basic. “Just exactly what are you planning to do?”
He gazed at her levelly. “About what?”
She shrugged. “About earning a living.” She’d never imagined that he might plan to just hang around the house. To her, that didn’t seem like a proper man’s position. Besides, they were going to need the money a job would bring.
“You want me to get a job?” He raised a dark eyebrow and looked at her cynically. “Is that it?”
She lifted her chin, not sure how he was going to react to her answer. “Yes. I think it would be a good thing.”
He stared at her for a moment, and she began to get nervous. Then he laughed. “Oh, Sara, you’re so conventional.”
She smiled in relief. At least he found it funny, not offensive. “Exactly. The old ways are usually the best. Don’t you think so?”
He pulled her off her bar stool and into his lap. He held her close and kissed the top of her head.
“Yes. I
do think so. And a couple of my buddies and I are planning to start working on a small security firm. We want to emphasize research and development, working on new technology for keeping people safe. I learned to use a lot of technology in the Rangers and I think we can improve on some of the methods and equipment we had available. I’m really excited about our chances.”
Well, there it was. Nothing to worry about. He had plans.
“Great. You’re planning it for here in Seattle?”
He nodded. “Probably. We may start it out right here in the kitchen and then look for a headquarters in the city once we get going.”
“Wow. That’s really interesting. I’ll help all I can.”
He looked at her, considering. “You can work on ad copy when the time comes. You’re experienced on that, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “I’ve done PR work and marketing and any kind of writing associated with magazine work. But I meant with start-up money. I’ve got some saved.”
“No.” He shook his head. “I would never ask you to risk your savings for my start-up. Besides, I’ve got my own stash. My father left me some, remember?”
“Oh, that’s right. Good.” She grinned at him. “Do a good job and we’ll all be Seattle millionaires.”
He kissed her neck. “You’ve got it.” Gently he set her down and rose from his stool.
“So, shall we discuss the bed situation?” he said, gazing down at her.
Her breath caught in her throat. Now? Right here? She wasn’t ready!
“I think I ought to take the guest bedroom for now,” he went on. “What do you think?”
“Oh.” Did her disappointment show on her face? She hoped not. “That’s very considerate of you.”
“This is a marriage of convenience, isn’t it?” he asked her softly. “I mean, we didn’t marry for love. We married to take care of someone we both love. That’s different. Isn’t it?”
She felt all the blood drain from her face. “Yes. I suppose so.”
“So I think we ought to have separate bedrooms. At least for a while.” He shrugged casually and didn’t seem all that interested. “I mean, things may change.”