“Can I get a glass of water?” I asked hoping my voice was somewhat recognizable since nothing much was coming out, “My mouth feels like cotton.”
“Sure, Ana. I will go grab one for you.”
I could feel Cyril bounding off of the couch in front of me. I had the familiar sense of feeling movements rather than seeing movements, especially in this moment with the blinding light.
“Thanks. Can someone please start to explain what is going on here?”
I could hear Arie take a deep breath in and knew she would be the one beginning the story of our lives, my life, and giving me my future. Too many things had happened to me in the short time since Athen and his family, my family, had come into my life not to believe what they were telling me.
“Ana, we have been waiting a very long time for you. We have followed you for decades eagerly waiting for the right time for you to come back to us. I’m sure what we are going to share with you will seem unbelievable, but we need to share with you the truth, our history, and that is how I will begin.”
I sat back against the couch leaning into Athen, gratefully swallowing down the water as fast as I could hoping to rid myself of the terrible thirst I couldn’t make go away. My mouth continued to feel as though it was full of cotton and the water only seemed to make it worse.
“I’m sorry, honey. That is part of the process.” I heard Arie telling me. It sounded a bit muffled by this point because all I could do was concentrate on how thirsty I was. In order to not go crazy, I knew I had to relinquish myself. The thought of not quenching my thirst or being able to open my eyes was more than I could handle on a human level. I had to let go. I had to trust the process since I seemed unable to control any of my senses or natural human tendencies. I heard Arie begin to speak, and knew I had better pay attention.
“OK, sweetie,” Athen kissed the top of my head, but instead of the normal warmth and comfort I normally felt, there was a sharp pain kind of like what I had experienced earlier this evening. It made me pull away, which he recognized, “ I’m sorry. I guess all of your senses are beginning to adjust.”
I could feel Arie move back to her chair and begin to suck all of the air out of the room as she began a speech that I’m sure she practiced many times before. Her voice was very soft, and she sounded a bit nervous.
“The most common folklore that the human race has been able to come up with surrounding our existence is all pretty entertaining. It does manage to grab bits and pieces of what we are about. It’s amazing how astute humans are when they want to be. However, they only seem to dwell on the unexplained - the darker side of our existence. That being said they certainly are missing out on the more positive side of our existence. It’s not all evil. There are two sides. Some terms that we’ve heard about ourselves in the human language range from a subclass of death, to angels who were demoted, or floating spirits, and of course demons. The truth of it is, though, those are all based on human forms to begin with when in actuality it’s something quite different and much more spectacular.”
“Please, that can’t be. You are scaring me. That stuff doesn’t even exist.” I ventured to get out, but my words were only falling to a slight mumble.
“I’m sorry, Ana. I practiced this speech for decades and I still can’t get it out. Here goes again, in the Bible it’s written, ‘the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were beautiful; and they took wives for themselves of all whom they chose. And the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not strive with man forever, for he is indeed flesh; yet his days shall be one hundred and twenty years.” There were giants on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men they bore children to them.’”
I interrupted Arie.
“Why are you quoting me Bible verses from Genesis, Arie? I don’t understand what that would have to do with anything, and in all honesty I don’t even understand what you are getting at.”
“Well, Ana, that is the beginning of our existence.”
“You mean mankind? Why would that explain everything that is going on if we are supposedly something different?” My body began to quiver and I could do nothing to control it. Whatever these people were talking about was a horror and not one that I was part of.
“Because that verse does not just describe the beginning of mankind. It details our first existence too. There is a whole world that exists within the human world that goes unnoticed. All of the legends and myths that you have grown to know are generally true or at least have some form of truth to them. There is this inner working between good and evil in the world. It isn’t being controlled by humans, as much as they would like to think it is. There is an underworld. God didn’t ever intend for humans to fall to the demons that exist, but unfortunately the demons found a way to get around that. The dark side figured out early on what kind of race could be made between humans and angels.”
“Could you fast forward a little and tell me where this is going or what I am? Maybe give the history lesson after?” I was surprised at my shortness, but they didn’t seem bothered by it. Thankfully, they must have expected it.
“Sure. Plainly we are the children of fallen angels. Our fathers fell in love with human women. We were the result. However, that wasn’t how it was for all families. Some of the Fallen Angels had ill intent when mating with the women and an evil was created that was most unimaginable. Since there were many couplings and children created between the mystic world and human world, God felt it needed to be stopped before it became out of control. He wanted to teach the Fallen Angels a lesson.”
Cyril began next, “Many of the children were killed in the flood, but there were some who survived. In the meantime the fathers, our fathers, were condemned to a life most unimaginable even though they had no impure intentions. God thought that the act of mating between angels and human women would cease after examples were made, but indeed it was more difficult to control, if not impossible, and more children like us were born, even after the flood. Even our fathers who had pure hearts were condemned and labeled as Fallen Angels. It didn’t matter what the intent was between the angels and the humans, God treated any angel who overstepped the immortal boundaries the same. This has created new races wherein good and evil was literally created and a line drawn. There are children who chose to take the wrong path and those of us who have chosen to take the more righteous path, but with that we are often forced to fight for the good of humanity. We are The Watchers of mankind, Ana. There is a network of us, and we try to intercede when possible and guide humans to make the right choices when they are tempted to fall. We are not evil.”
I don’t know what I was expecting to hear from Arie, Cyril, and Athen, but this was not it. I imagined common ideas, like vampires or werewolves, but nothing like this. My stomach was in knots, and there was a dull aching pain at the base of my neck. My hands were clammy. The room was spinning.
“We made a choice in the beginning to be good, do good and not follow the ways of some of our cousins, if you want to call them that. You, along with us, made the choice to be a white demon. Unfortunately, in some cases the mating that occurred between certain fallen angels and women created children who became known as.”
“Nephilim. I know what those are. You don’t need to explain that to me.” I was unable to move by this point. I looked around and noticed that the light started to dissipate. I could see the figures of Cyril and Arie, not in any detail, but that was something at least. I wanted to leave. I wanted them to leave. For the first time since meeting these people I didn’t want to be around them. I’m not related to demons. I cannot believe I got myself wrapped up with people who believe they are descendants of such creatures. The one time I let myself fall in love and gravitate toward a family this is what I come up with. Anger started building inside of me. I heard Athen’s voice but wasn’t listening to what he was saying. All I could hear was my heart’s rapid pace. Tears welled up in my eyes. There was nothing I could do to contr
ol my emotions. How could these ineffable people be descendants of something so wrong and evil, and how could they be trying to include me in that? I heard Cyril’s voice and looked over at him and could see him clearly now. The light had diminished. His eyes were as green as always, but there was sadness in them mixed with great kindness. He came over to me and knelt down, grabbing my hand.
“Ana, we are not descendants of evil. Our fathers were not banished for those reasons. Our fathers fell in love. They couldn’t help who they fell in love with. Ana, we, you included- have worked our entire lives to make things right. I’m not saying there are not demons out there who are doing bad things, but we are trying to stop them. We are not part of that, Ana. We are not evil. You are not evil. You are a Watcher, like us, Ana. We are here to help the world, not destroy it.”
I knew deep in my heart what Cyril was saying was true. I also knew I might not be able to accept it. I wasn’t sure of my fate any longer and didn’t care. I didn’t know if I could ever consider myself such a being of the underworld, good or not. Maybe I should just try to end it now. I was looking into Cyril’s eyes and saw nothing but love and kindness, and I was completely torn. I found the strength to speak. Only a few words ventured out.
“Athen, is this true? Are we truly descendants of fallen angels? Are we demons?”
“Ana, it’s true. But our fathers were not considered fallen angels until after their relationship with a mortal. That is a key difference. One not to ever forget. Our fathers were good angels and acted with love. They were in love with the mortal women. That can’t be said for some. We are white demons, Fallen Angels, not what you are thinking. There are a lof of us on earth, and we are all trying our hardest to defeat evil.”
“I can’t believe this. It doesn’t make any sense. Why can’t I remember this?”
“Once the reintroduction process is complete Ana, you will be able to remember everything. It takes time.”
“How did I get to this point where I don’t remember anything?”
“We have been in a battle since the beginning of time, our time. We have been in a constant struggle on this earth to protect humans from the evil that was born by the angels mating with the women. It created evil beings that were set on controlling earth, the humans that resided on it, their intentions. The only thing that can stop them is our kind. That is what we are here to do. However, sometimes they do inflict injury, and in those instances, this is what can happen. They can’t kill us, but it can feel like a death for the families, like us, who are left behind waiting for the right time to begin the phasing of their loved one. Getting the Awakening started as soon as possible is crucial. As soon as one of us is taken, we start the Awakening to begin the process to get our loved one back. It’s the very first step in a very long process. If the Awakening isn’t done properly, it can take centuries to reunite.
We have been waiting for you, Ana for a very long time. It has been so painful not being able to communicate with you or hold you but to still see your existence on this earth, roaming from stage to stage. My existence has been filled with watching you, waiting for you. Every few years, your process would begin again. A new city, a new identity, and we were just waiting. It’s not over. We still have a long process, but the fact that we have gotten this far is a great sign. We have never been able to get here before.”
I could see Arie’s eyes fill with tears as she stood up from where she was sitting. She came over and knelt before us, placing her hand on my knee and Cyril went back to sit in the chair. As Arie’s hand touched me a searing pain went through my head, directly behind my eyes and images started flashing into my head as if memories were being placed. They were so fast there was no way I could make any sort of semblance out of it. The pain was getting more intense, and I wasn’t sure that I could endure it much longer. When Athen held me as tight as he could without crushing me, I made myself hold on.
“I’m so sorry, Ana. She is almost finished.”
The images continued pouring through me. I saw Athen dressed in clothes from all different eras flashing through my mind, some I didn’t even recognize. I would then see Arie and Cyril, and every so often, a picture of myself flash in. More memories continued to flood through my mind and penetrate different emotional areas. I would feel great happiness, but not before crashing down to great sadness and with every emotion came great pain. I saw us all briefly at what looked like a university during the turn of the century, and then before I could focus on that memory a new one flashed in with us all surrounding a Christmas tree, but this time it looked like it was set in the thirties. I couldn’t believe all of the pictures that were resurfacing, but with each new memory an excruciating pain whipped through my veins. Athen moved me to the couch, sitting next to me on the floor caressing my head. I couldn’t do anything other than wince from the next flash of life that would appear in my mind. I heard Cyril tell Arie that it was going to be a long night. Upon those words my body exploded into needles, and I fell into darkness.
CHAPTER 11
I awoke, but had no idea where I was or what day it was. I felt Matilda snuggling on my feet. I was so relieved that I had something somewhat familiar to me. This latest nightmare was a rough one. Shivers were running through me as I relived the nebulous talk of demons and Fallen Angels. This was one of the most realistic nightmares to date. My head was groggy. My entire body ached. I couldn’t remember what I was doing right before I fell asleep, but I vaguely remembered what was happening that evening. It was like a distant and foggy dream or maybe another nightmare. I’m not sure yet how I would classify it. I saw the curtains closed tightly and secured to each other to not allow any light in, and I recognized my room immediately. Then I remembered last night was not a nightmare. It was real.
I heard Athen tell the others I had awoke, but I wasn’t sure how he knew that. Several sets of feet began walking down the hallway. With each step, a louder echo of fear and happiness began ringing down the hall. I wasn’t sure what may have changed since I last saw them. They were truly my family. I didn’t want to go any longer without seeing them, especially Athen. There was no disputing that this was where I belonged. My heart began to fall a little at the terms that popped back into my head - fallen angels, demons – nothing I wanted to recognize as being in existence. It wasn’t a dream last night. It was my destiny.
My door began to slowly open. I saw Athen. It was so good to see Athen. I needed him so badly. His eyes were piercing as ever but full of great concern. He looked tired, circles were showing slightly under his eyes, and I had never seen him with the level of stress that I saw outlining his face. Arie was peering from behind him, but I couldn’t see Cyril. I only felt him there.
“Hey, sunshine. How are you feeling?” Athen’s calm voice made me feel better instantly.
“I feel like I’m recovering from some horrible flu or something but other than that great.” I said trying to be funny. Instead sounding completely worn out.
“We have water going for some tea. It might help you feel a little better. Really, sleep is probably the best answer.”
“How long have I been sleeping?”
Athen came over to sit on my bed as I tried to scoot over. I had no strength and became frustrated. Athen must have sensed it because he scooped me up and nestled me over a little bit so he could sit next to me. Arie and Cyril left to go back to the kitchen and retrieve the tea.
“You’ve been out for about 26 hours. I was actually expecting you to be out for a few more hours at least. You never cease to amaze me. Karen stopped by.”
“Oh no, she did? What did you tell her?”
“Well, Arie opened the door and told her you had the flu. She counted on the fact that you would be so out if Karen wanted to see you that you wouldn’t wake up anyway, which of course is what happened. Karen certainly is protective of you.”
“She saw me?”
“Yeah, she did. She thanked us for taking such good care of you. If we hadn’t let her see you sh
e probably would have thought we had done something with you, like with the hikers.” He said half smirking, trying to lighten up the severity of everything I had just experienced.
I was able to muster up enough strength to laugh because I knew that he wasn’t kidding. I could feel my body begin to respond again to my surroundings. I was beginning to realize what was making my body so tired. I could feel everything. I could feel emotion- mine and others. I could feel the air. I could feel love. I could feel the presence of thoughts. This was going to take some getting used to.
“Is this normal? To be this tired and worn out?”
“It is, sweetie. You have been through so much. Your body is still adjusting. There are things that you are experiencing in this moment that will come naturally. Right now I’m sure it feels as if the weight of the world is on you. That feeling will go away. You’ll be able to categorize the thoughts and emotions that you are feeling from others and only pull them out when you need them. Right now, however, your brain processing is on overload. I promise it will get better.”
I could feel Arie getting my tea ready so I tried to prepare myself for the possible discussion that she might have in store for me. To my surprise when she brought in the tea she was quiet. She placed the cup of tea on a coaster, patted my leg, and closed the door on her way out.
“Wow. That is the first time ever that she didn’t have something to say.”
“Well, in addition to you being able to read our minds eventually, we are able to read your thoughts more clearly too. She sensed that now wouldn’t be the best time. She probably figured that out once you knew she was coming in with the tea.”
“This is going to take some getting used to. So, you have been able to read my thoughts this entire time?” I asked nervously.
“Yes, partially. It will definitely take some getting used to. You’ll be amazed at how fast it all comes together, Ana. I promise.”
Awakening Page 10