“I can’t believe some of the things you must have heard me think! How absolutely mortifying. Since we are on embarrassing topics, I should probably go get washed up.”
“I have to admit it was kind of nice hearing some of those things you thought, though.” His smile kind, as he was moving the hair that was stuck to my face.
I began to move but quickly realized I needed help, which he quickly provided.
“By the way Ana, everything I heard you contemplating made me even more committed to getting you back this round. I missed you too much to let it fail again.”
I took a couple sips of the tea as the anger began to swell about what I was told I was the last time I spoke to Athen, still not believing it.
After I finished up trying to be presentable again he helped me back into bed where I definitely needed to be.
“Am I really a white demon or was it another nightmare?” My eyelids became burdened with a heaviness, and I fell fast asleep not hearing his answer.
CHAPTER 12
I was told that days had gone by, how many I didn’t even care about it. I only faintly remember being carried from one room to another right before passing out again. What I was concerned with was how I was going to continue on with this newfound information. The entire time I was out of consciousness, I struggled with the images that were flooding back into my memory. I never seemed to actually sleep. It was more like a movie that was on fast forward. I never got to that next level of sleep. Every time I awoke, I was as exhausted as the time before. My family, thankfully, was at my side the entire time. The few times I was alert enough to notice I saw that Athen looked as if he hadn’t slept for days either, but before I could talk to him I would drift back to the foggy state.
This last time that I awoke, I had a feeling of strength and certainty, a feeling that I hadn’t grasped for a very long time. My days of sleeping, if that is what it could be called, were behind me. I could begin living again. I knew questions would come up, but, unlike before, this time they would be answered.
I looked up at Athen who was already by my side with a cup of tea, smiling. I was the happiest girl in the world. My life had been given back to me, the greatest gift of all. I had to fight the uncertainties that kept creeping into my mind about what I was told, but I didn’t have the strength to fight anything at this point.
“Hey, how are you feeling? You were out for quite awhile.” Athen said to me while helping me up in my bed.
“I’m feeling like the weight of the world has been lifted, like anything is possible. That being said, though, I’m exhausted, but can’t stand the thought of sleeping anymore.”
“I’m sure. The good news is the next time you go to sleep it will be for real, no more memory overload. The worst is over.” Athen’s eyes were sparkling. It must have been even harder on him than I knew. At least for me I was completely out of it. He had to be alert the entire time.
“Do you think the nightmares will be over now?” I asked hopeful beyond belief.
“Not necessarily.” Athen ruffled my hair. “It’s a bit complicated.”
“Isn’t it always?” I murmured rolling my eyes.
“How are you sleepy head?” I heard Cyril’s voice ringing down the hall.
“Very funny.” I said and threw a pillow at him before he managed to catch it around the corner.
“Not bad,” He chucked it back, “Did you tell her the good news?”
“No, can’t say that I had the chance yet.” Athen said shaking his head.
“What good news?” I asked thinking that things were beginning to be pretty wonderful already.
“Well, we uh, put your notice in at the pub since so much time had gone by. I was pretty sure you wouldn’t need to go back there, for a job at least. Always best to not call attention to our existence and follow the proper etiquette.” He seemed kind of hesitant as he looked at me waiting for a reaction.
“Oh thank goodness. I didn’t even think about that! I appreciate that so much. I was starting to worry about doing it before finding everything out and being talked into staying and all. How did you do it?”
“We sent Karen in with a letter explaining about your flu and the holidays. I don’t know. They seemed kind of relieved, almost.”
“Huh, well I was kind of screwing up a bit at the end. It seemed I could only focus on one thing.” I said laughing.
“Oh God, that’s my cue to exit. I’m glad you are up, Ana. It’s been painful hanging around with Athen so much.” He waved and trudged back down the hallway. I could hear him talking to Arie on the phone letting her know that I was up for good this time.
“So do you think you are up to maybe walking around the village a little bit?” Athen’s eyes sparkling with hope.
“I don’t want to be in this bed a minute longer.”
Athen helped me get ready for my first evening out since the long process began introducing me to my new life. He turned on the shower, got jeans and a sweater laid out for me, and let me know when the water temp was perfect. Even though I was hopelessly exhausted there was a part of me that hoped he would help me into the shower, but being the gentleman that he was he backed out of the bathroom when that time came. Truthfully, it was probably for the better. I doubt I was up for much more than holding onto him let alone feeling his lips on mine. The water pelted me endlessly in the same nonstop way that the images kept flooding through me, giving me no reprieve as I saw Athen’s body crumpled on the ground once more. I frantically massaged the suds in my hair hoping to rinse away the overwhelming feelings of despair.
“How’s it going in there? Are you doing ok?” Athen must have gotten Arie to come and check on me. How she got here so fast from across the village, I definitely couldn’t figure out.
“I’m doing quite well. This shower feels so wonderful, but I will be out in a second. Tell Athen that I appreciate him checking up on me.” I couldn’t tell her the truth.
“Will do.” Arie’s voice sang out.
I turned off the shower and wrapped my hair in the towel that Athen had thrown over the shower door. I put my clothes on that Athen had laid out for me and quickly grabbed the hair dryer. The last thing I wanted to do was catch a cold from wet hair. I flipped the towel off my hair feeling the slap of wet strands against my neck, looking in the mirror my knees began to give out. Grabbing the sink vanity to stabilize myself, I looked closer in the mirror. My eyes had changed color. They were green now. Almost as green as Athen’s and my hair was no longer the store bought color. It shined its glorious deep auburn brown and with the green eyes, certainly changed the complexion of things quite a bit. I couldn’t understand how that could be. I couldn’t stop looking in the mirror. I didn’t even care if I put any makeup on. This newfound confidence was nice. I grabbed a brush, ran the blow dryer and decided that was it. I left the bathroom, turned off the light, and Matilda followed me out to meet the others. I couldn’t believe I now had green eyes.
CHAPTER 13
The holidays were in full swing in the village. It wasn’t even Thanksgiving yet, and lights were hung on patios, and wreaths were placed on the entrances of all the buildings to ensure that the holiday spirit wasn’t lost on anybody. Every tree and shrub was covered in a smattering of twinkling white lights. I was anticipating this holiday season with a joy I hadn’t had before in my most recent existence, especially during this time of year. I was looking forward to all of the unknowns and new traditions that I hoped I would get to take part in for years to come. I couldn’t wait for more memories to come of this time together in years past with my family. I noticed quite a lot of snow had fallen since I was out for those few days. Athen grabbed my hand as we walked in the direction of the grocery store.
“Incredible isn’t it?”
“That’s an understatement.” I said to Athen as I absorbed everything as if it was the first time I had seen the village.
The scents of all the little shops were almost overpowering. There was the bath shop
with all of the wonderful perfumery notes, and then the smell of cinnamon wafting out of the bakery hit, followed quickly by the coffee shop. I had walked this path many times before. Never did I have this explosion of the senses. It was incredible.
“Is it always like this?” I asked Athen quietly.
“Yep, you learn to block some of them out with time, though, and focus on only certain senses.”
“Wow, it’s incredible. Where is this scent coming from?” I felt like Matilda all of a sudden sniffing the air with each breath like it held a mystery for me to unravel.
“That is the florist shop.” Athen said laughing.
“Oh, huh.” I said feeling a little sheepish.
“You know, I had no idea how much fun it would be experiencing everything through your eyes.” Athen said, squeezing my hand. He must have sensed my embarrassment.
“Thanks.” I returned my attention to the wonderful things awaiting me in this new form all the while trying to ignore what I might actually be, a fallen angel. “Please make sure I don’t start behaving like Matilda, endlessly sniffing the air. I need to save face around the village a little bit.”
“You’ve got my word.” Athen said squeezing my hand as we ventured into the grocery store.
Athen grabbed a cart and I followed along.
“I’m sure you must be starving.”
I was and I didn’t realize it until he mentioned it.
“Wow, you aren’t kidding.”
“I figured you may want to spend the evening at the house in case you needed to rest unexpectedly or something.”
“Yeah, that may not be the only reason.” I suggested.
“Nice.” Athen retorted and threw a loaf of bread in the cart.
“I’m craving citrus.” I pushed the cart over to the fruit section.
“Like oranges?” Athen said laughing.
“Exactly!” I started putting one after another into the small plastic bag.
“Geez, you weren’t kidding. I think you missed one.”
“You know what sounds good?” I asked Athen in all seriousness.
“Besides oranges? I have not a clue!” He replied as amused as I had seen him in a long time.
“Cinnamon rolls! Let’s go to the bakery on our way out.”
“Sounds good, but what about for dinner? Spaghetti sound tasty?”
“Of course! Now let’s go pay and grab the cinnamon rolls at the bakery before they go away.”
On our way out of the grocery store, I noticed a missing person flyer on the bulletin board. It showed a young local. I faintly recognized him. He was 20 - the same supposed age as myself. I was sure he had come into the Pub. He looked so familiar.
“Athen, what’s this?” I stopped to look at the picture more closely. “When did this happen?”
Athen came over and looked at the flyer with me.
“He went missing the first day you were out. He was snowboarding in the backcountry and never showed up in the evening. His roommates notified the authorities. They have been looking for him since. The police think he fell into a tree swell or something.”
I looked at Athen searching for something more, some sort of definitive answer. I knew the answers were there. I just had to get them out.
“Well, did he? You think otherwise?”
“We aren’t sure what happened, but it wasn’t accidental. Come on sweetie. Let’s get back to the condo.” He said gently kissing my forehead, holding me as we walked down the stairs.
We walked down the stone path through the main village to our condo. The weight of my new existence beginning to creep up on me, I tried my best to keep distracted. I wasn’t sure I was ready to begin solving the world’s problems.
We got back to the condo and began prepping for dinner. I had greedily munched down two oranges and a cinnamon roll on the way back and was more than ready for the spaghetti. Cyril and Arie were still at my house for which I was thankful. It seemed like the family I had longed for magically appeared and in a way that is exactly what happened. I loved having a house full of people. I know Matilda enjoyed it too. She was far more exuberant than normal, even for a bulldog. I only hoped that I could handle the baggage that this new existence apparently brought with it. The title of Fallen Angel or white demon wasn’t exactly sitting well.
“I thought Ana was going to eat the town out. It’s a good thing dinner won’t take long.” Athen grabbed the loaf of bread out of the bakery bag and Arie began mixing together the garlic butter for the bread, snapping me back to reality and out of my gloomy thoughts.
“Is it that bad?” I asked innocently.
“It’s pretty impressive. Not that you have ever held back on food, but I’m surprised you can keep it going. It’s a good thing though. It’s only normal.” Athen added.
“Huh.” I looked around my kitchen and loved what I saw. Cyril was helping Arie with the marinara sauce and they were so into one another. I could feel the love they held for each other across the room. I was thankful that I, too, now had that blessing. No one with that kind of consummate love could be evil. I had to try my hardest to accept the realities that were before me. I looked at Athen who seemed to be smiling nonstop since I had awoken. At the moment, he was smearing the garlic spread on the French bread. He was such a calming, stabilizing force. I was thankful for that since I had a tendency to be a little high-strung. It was a good balance. This was all going to work out, regardless of what I might actually be. Besides, what options did I actually have? Runaway? Doubtful.
“So, did you guys talk about heading to Seattle yet for the holidays?” Arie asked me, surely knowing the answer. We had no time to talk about what just happened let alone plans for the future.
“Boy, you don’t let the grass grow, do you?” Athen said pointedly. “Give her a moment at least.”
Were they thinking Thanksgiving or Christmas? I wondered.
“We were thinking of going down for Thanksgiving and then maybe come back up here for a little while before Christmas to get our fix of snow.”
“That sounds good to me.” I said laughing.
“What’s so funny?” Cyril asked grabbing Arie’s waist and holding her from behind.
“Well, I didn’t ask that aloud. I only thought it. This is going to take some getting used to.”
“There are definitely tricks, Ana! I promise.” Arie said laughing as well, “I definitely know when not to pick your brain. Let’s leave it that.” She said grinning.
“That’s gross, Arie.” Athen coughed up, making a gagging sound while throwing a kitchen towel at her.
“Cyril, Athen, and I are going to take a quick trip down there to make sure the house is all set up. We are going to fly down and back in a day if that works for you?” Arie asked a little hesitantly.
“No, that’s cool. I have some stuff I should get done around here anyway before heading south.”
The oven dinged alerting us that it was ready to take in the garlic bread. I went into the dining room, grabbed my placemats and began setting the table. So much had changed since our last time in here. A memory ran through me that I knew must have been recently placed. It was Athen and I hiking. We reached an area with boulders where he held me tight as we looked over the valley. It was a truly peaceful setting, but I couldn’t place the time. His clothing definitely looked of another era. He was in suspenders. I was in some sort of brown wool pant that was rolled up. I honestly didn’t know when it would have been.
“Hey, sweetie, how are you doing with everything?” Athen came into the dining room as if sensing my confusion over the latest memory to enter my mind.
“Oh pretty good, I would say… A little puzzled possibly, but other than that I’m incredibly happy to be with my family and you. I’m trying to comprehend what it all means. The Fallen Angel, demon thing really isn’t transitioning well for me. The thoughts make me queasy actually.” I looked up at him knowing that he knew what I was going through.
“Well, the memory you ju
st had appear, was right before you were taken away from us.” He tried to change the subject. “We had hiked up one of the areas near Mount St. Helens. You and I had spent a few hours at Spirit Lake, which was one of your favorite places. It was unusual for women to be hiking like you did with me. You never seemed to care though. We were never apart. You loved that Indian legend that went with it. I was reciting it to you in that memory. Do you remember it?”
“I have been trying. It’s not coming to me yet.” I was a bit upset with how slow some memories seemed to take to come back in their entirety. Sometimes I would only see images with no sound, but could see that we were talking.
“It was believed that the three mountain peaks, Mount St. Helen’s, Mount Hood, and Mount Adams were all created because of a love triangle. There were two men who were sons of an Indian Chief. They were fighting over a beautiful woman, and she couldn’t decide between them. Because of that the sons were bringing great destruction to villages and the surrounding deep green forests as they were demonstrating their love for her, fighting for her attention. The Chief turned them all into each of the mountain peaks to stop the destruction. The maiden was Mount St Helens.”
Athen wrapped his arms around me, and I suddenly remembered more. He was telling me the story when we were overlooking that valley. We had finished a picnic that Arie had prepared for us. It was a lovely day.
“I do remember that. It was delightful and so calm. Arie had prepared us a picnic. It was an awesome sight. Can we go there this summer?” I asked Athen.
He pulled back from me a little bit and spun me around so he could look at me, his eyes intense.
“Mount St Helens blew up.”
“Are you serious? What happened? When did it happen?” I was shocked.
“It was back in 1980. She had given signs and she finally blew. Ash spread throughout the Northwest. It was pretty intense. There is a visitor station there now, though. It brings home what mother earth and natural forces are capable of. We will put that on the to-do list, for sure. Like we need reminding of that.”
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