She

by Franceska Krence

  I grabbed the bottle, putting my other arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

  "Why are you resisting it?" I questioned, but she wouldn't look at me.

  "You're drunk, Ru," she replied, always having an excuse.

  "I guess even when I'm drunk I'm undervalued," I stated, letting go of her.

  She grabbed my wrist: "what is this about, babe?"

  I raised my eyebrow, looking at her tight grip on my arm: "you're doing it again. Also, let go of me."

  She was once again turning the situation around, making it look like I was the problem. I guess that was how she dealt with all of her problems, after all.

  She ran a hand through her hair, visibly annoyed as she let go of me. I was mad at myself for being so damn attracted to her even at this moment. The way her icy blue eyes looked everywhere but at me, burning with anger, strands of her dark brown hair falling on her perfectly built face, and finally the way she would bite down on her lower lip. She had put a magic spell on me.

  All my eyes could focus on was her lips making me bite mine in an attempt to regain some self-control.

  "..and I just don't know," she said angrily, her eyes focusing on me, "are you even listening to me?"

  She took in the look on my face, reading my mind, as her eyes traveled down to my lips. I seemed to have the same effect on her as she did on me.

  And just like that, as if nothing happened, she pressed me against the counter, kissing me roughly. Then running her fingers through my hair, pulling it, giving her access to my neck. She kissed it, leaving soft bites.

  "Fuck.." I cursed, my whole existence wrapped around her pinky.

  She smiled against my neck, picking me up and placing me on the counter.

  "You like that?" she whispered in my ear, biting it.

  "Eden," I breathed, pressing my fingers into her skin.

  She unzipped the romper from behind pulling its upper part down, undoing my bra.

  Kissing one of my shoulders, she removed one of the straps. She stared me down, pure lust in her eyes, licking her lips.

  Then out of nowhere, her expression changed, as she slowly put the straps back on, dressing me. I furrowed my brows, watching her, as she put my romper back on, reaching behind to zip it.

  If there was anything that hurt, then it was this.

  I grabbed her hand, stopping it: "I can do it myself."

  "Ruby.." she whispered, not even looking in my eyes, almost as if she felt ashamed.

  "Save it," I said, hopping off the counter, zipping the romper.

  I looked at her studying her, but she still wouldn't look at me.

  "You know, I don't get you. You wanted this, you came after me, you pulled me in. And now? Now you are pushing me away, not being honest, hiding things from me and avoiding me. What is it? Did you simply want me because you couldn't get me? Is that really what it is?"

  "Or.." I put my fingers underneath her chin as she flinched, looking at me, "are you scared of how I make you feel? Why are you trying to resist it?"

  A simple yes would've done it, even a nod could have been fine. But that would have been too easy, wouldn't it? This girl never let me in so I let her go: "maybe you didn't even want me in the first place in, it was just all an act."

  The mention of an act triggered her as she grabbed my hand, her eyes full of desperation: "Ruby.."

  "Yes?" I stared back, challenging her, "I'm listening."

  Even if she was a part of the gang, I could get over it. If she had certain things she would have to hide from me, I could deal with it. Yet if this, whatever the elephant in the room was, affected the way our relationship was, I could not ignore it or pretend it was not there.

  "The dinner is canceled," I said, turning around, as she failed to say anything to me.

  She quickly went past me, blocking the doorway. "Babe, cmon, don't be like this," she grabbed my hand once again.

  To be honest, the last thing I would ever want to do is leave her, yet it felt like in this situation, I didn't have much of a choice. I was fighting a battle and constantly losing it, about time I took a step back so she could take one forward.

  "I'm sorry about the dinner," I took her arm off of mine, walking past her.

  "Ruby, please," she said.

  This is only temporary, I kept telling myself as I walked home. There was no way this whole situation would last more than a day. Nodding at Henry, I walked into the house.

  "Cheer up, Miss Gold, that frown doesn't suit you," he said as I walked past.

  Sneaking in, I hoped my parents would not catch me. I was already a few steps up the stairs. Just a few more and my mission would succeed.

  "Princess?" it was my dad.

  I turned around, my dad looking at me with a smile on his face.

  "What, are you 5 again? Sneaking up to your room, beautiful?" he laughed.

  "Dad," I sighed, "the dinner is canceled."

  He raised a brow, concluding: "you two had a fight."

  I smiled at how my dad didn't beat around the bush: "dad, it's nothing serious. At least it shouldn't be."

  "Alright, my daughter knows what she's doing, so I won't ask any questions," he said, "want to come downstairs?"

  I shook my head: "not now, but I won't take long."

  "Alright, princess," he said, walking away.

  Suddenly weakness took over me once again, a headache crawling onto me. I made it to my bed, laying down.

  The irony was real. I wasn't that upset over Eden, because I had made it bigger than it originally had to be for a good cause. I knew she didn't want to lose me, so she would eventually comply and come to me. I felt quite bad for having to manipulate her in such a way, but this was bigger than me, than both of us.

  If I had to go against a whole gang of murderers, then I would have to use whatever weapons I had hidden under my sleeve.

  SEVENTEEN

  I'd always thought you were the one

  ready to shout it from the rooftops and above

  the way you felt me and I saw you

  made me feel like we'd stay here all alone

  ✽✽✽

  "Hen, get ready, we're going for a run," I peeked out of the door, informing the bodyguard.

  He raised an eyebrow, as I rolled my eyes: "yes, dad knows, he's coming with us."

  "Running with you two? Sounds like you want me to die, miss Gold," he murmured.

  I grinned: "love you too, Hen."

  This was a tradition for us ever since I can remember. Of course, at first I would ride a bike next to them as my legs physically couldn't keep up with 2 grown-ups, but around 12 I started running with them. At first, it was hell, but I soon beat them both, Henry always staying behind me and dad, cursing under his breath.

  As for Eden, 2 days had passed, and I started to think my plan failed. She'd leave her house early in the mornings and come back late at night. I assumed the gang was having problems. But maybe I actually messed up, pushing it too far.

  I went to the kitchen, where my mom was reading a book, eating grapes. Spotting M&M's on the counter, I grinned, opening the package.

  "We're going to run to the shop, do we need anything?" I asked.

  Mom took off her glasses, staring at me: "I assume not the one that's 2 miles from here, but the one that's 6 miles?"

  "You got it right," I grinned.

  "Ru, they're older than you, you should go easy on them," mom said, concerned.

  Right then my dad walked in: "are you kidding me? Your man is the strongest one there is out there, I can handle 12 miles, that's nothing."

  Mom smiled at him amused, while dad grabbed a water bottle, walking out: "we're leaving, princess."

  "Scratch what I said before. Kick their asses, Ru," mom smiled, winking at me, putting her glasses back on.

  I smiled, walking out of the house.

  Henry already looked like he wanted to kill me: "just let me ride a bike, please," he pleaded.

  Whenever Henry was out of his formal
suit and assassin looking sunglasses, he stopped with the other formalities, like, "miss Gold".

  "Come on, Hen, you can do it, we used to do 18 miles," I warmed up.

  "Yeah, Hennessy, don't be a pussy," my dad teased, playfully hitting his shoulder.

  I laughed at the two of them: "Watch that mouth, old man," I started running.

  "Old? I'll show you old, princess," dad mumbled, following after me.

  "I'll seriously resign if you make me run more than 5," Henry shouted from behind.

  ✽✽✽

  5 miles later and 2 overgrown babies who gave up later, I was still running towards the shop.

  Of course, there was a car not far behind, making sure I was safe, while the other had taken my dad and Henry back home. Dad was barely walking the last mile, they had to forcefully drag him in the car, he was that stubborn. I guess it's clear who I got that from.

  Listening to music while running made it so much easier, following the beat of it as I ran. The reason I loved running was that, just like being on Edens bike, it cleared my head, made me feel like there wasn't a thing that mattered more than this moment. And since you were forced to focus on your breathing, your brain was less likely to think about other things.

  I was already near the shop, progressively slowing down my pace.

  I walked in the shop I knew like my house, immediately heading for ice cream aisle. Digging in the freezer, I tried to find my favorite ice cream, eventually realizing there were none left. Life really wasn't making it easy for me right now.

  "Great..." I muttered.

  "Sorry, I think I took the last one," a boy from my right smiled apologetically.

  I smiled weakly: "it's alright, I'll just run to another shop."

  "I have an idea," he smiled, taking out his phone, "your number in exchange of this delicious Ben&Jerry's Half baked ice cream."

  I didn't even think about it for 2 seconds. Eden was being stubborn, and as far as I know, I could do whatever I wanted. Besides, it was half baked we were talking about.

  "You got yourself a deal," I smiled, typing in my number.

  "May I know what name to add to this beautiful face?" he asked, looking me up and down.

  I looked at him, he was definitely an eye candy and judging by his looks aka the tattoos, he was quite far from the typical guy you'd see in this town. But no matter how dangerous he looked, there was still a friendly and peaceful aura around the guy. You just couldn't help but get pulled in, the same to how it was with Eden.

  "Ruby," I replied.

  One of his eyebrows shot up, making it obvious he knew who I was: "it's my pleasure, I'm Andre," he said, not making a big deal out of who I was, which I appreciated.

  "It goes both ways," I smiled, "so thanks for the ice cream."

  "No, thank you," he grinned.

  "I guess I'll see you around then?" Andre nodded at me, walking away. As I started to walk away, I heard Edens voice coming from behind me.

  "What do you mean, you lost the ice cream?" her voice sounding annoyed.

  Sighing, I turned around, waving at her with the ice cream: "my fault."

  She looked at me, her mouth opening and closing as she stared between me and Andre. I quickly walked away, grabbing a bottle of water and paying for them.

  Honestly, I wanted to enjoy my run back, but that would mean possibly crossing paths with Eden, which I certainly didn't want. She had to be the one coming to me. So I made my way towards the security car, hopping in.

  "Sorry to bother you all, can I ride with you?" I asked, smiling.

  The guys nodded at me as we headed home.

  Andre had to have something to do with the gang. It seemed to be their look - every person in the gang looked like fashion models, dangerous, mysterious, and I realized that all of them had tattoos, it must've been their signature.

  I should have been worried about another person being in the gang, because now it meant I had to be liked by 5, instead of 4, however it almost made me feel more assured. Now that I had their names, I had to put it all together, research this thing.

  "We're here, miss Gold," one of the guards said, opening the door for me.

  "Thanks," I nodded, getting out of the car.

  Henry and dad were inside drinking smoothies, laid down on the couch as if they were dead.

  Rolling my eyes, I slapped their butts, hearing them curse in pain. Leave it to men in their 30's to act like little babies.

  "Ruby, let the babies rest!" mom shouted from the kitchen.

  I laughed when dad cursed again, not willing to accept defeat.

  "I brought half baked," I put it on the counter, "want some?"

  "I'm on a diet," mom said, still reading the book.

  "Mom, how many times do we have to tell you you don't need diets? Your body is way better than mine yet, may I remind you, you are 23 years older than me?" I grabbed myself a spoon, sitting next to mom.

  "Thanks, Ru, but your momma can make her own choices," she said, ending the discussion just like that.

  "How come you're back so soon?" she asked, her eyes not leaving the book.

  I shrugged: "didn't want the ice cream to melt."

  She raised a brow, looking at me: "yeah, right. What happened?"

  I laughed: "I met Eden at the store and didn't want to risk the chance crossing paths on the way back."

  "Want to talk about it?" she asked.

  "No, it's only temporary," I replied. It was, right?

  She looked back at her book: "Ru, there's this one thing your grandpa used to tell me - don't ever lose yourself just because you've found someone. I never understood it, I thought you're meant to sacrifice for a relationship to exist, to grow."

  She smiled: "but then I met your dad. Boy, was he trouble, he was a hurricane, swept me off my feet. I won't lie and say it was always easy, because it wasn't. But when I was with him, and still, when I am with him, I can't help but feel like I am the most myself I could ever be. Never did I sacrifice something for him, instead we grew together, he helped me find myself while being so lost in him."

  "What I mean to say is that the second you feel like you need to destroy a part of you, for the other person to stay, that is the second you need to leave. The right person will only add to who you are instead of taking away from it."

  I processed the words in my head, thinking about the number of times I had already given up my comfort to fit Eden's pace, or the number of times I decided not to push, even when the answers were crucial to me: "Thanks, mom."

  I might have thought about the times, but it certainly didn't mean I was willing to question Eden's fit in my life. Sure, we had issues, secrets, so many unanswered questions and territories that I was not allowed to cross, but I was falling for this girl, the first one to ever make me feel like this. Nothing in the world would make me question us.

  She laughed: "thank your smart ass grandpa, dear. He might have been an idiot at times, but he sure was a smart one."

  EIGHTEEN

  I saw you that night, I wanted to stay

  but you never asked me to

  because you liked to tear and tear

  and I allowed you to

  ✽✽✽

  Another day had passed without her reaching out. Seriously, how hard was it to send a text? I was looking out of the window, trying to figure out what went on in her head.

  "Princess! Come down, please," dad shouted from downstairs.

  I ran my hands across my face, getting up, dizziness making me hold on to my bed.

  Looking around, my vision became blurry. 1..2..3..4.. 5.. I counted, breathing slowly, waiting for my vision to return. And so, after a few seconds, it did.

  Putting on a cardigan, I walked downstairs, following the sound of soft laughter.

  "What's up?" I asked, walking in the living room, finding it empty,leading me to the kitchen.

  I walked in, stopping when I saw Lucy there, chatting and cracking jokes with my parents.

  "Lu!" I smiled
, hugging her.

  "I've missed seeing your beautiful face in my house, dear," she winked.

  "Speaking of which. Ru, we're having dinner this evening. Last time it was up to you and Eden, and we never even got to the dinner part, so we decided to handle this on our own," mom smiled, putting me on the spot.

  I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

  "I have plans.." I said, trying to get out of this.

  "I'm sure you can cancel them for us, princess," dad reasoned.

  I tried to find a reason in my brain that my parents wouldn't argue against. Cheer team, right.

  "I can't, it's a team practice, sorry guys," I smiled apologetically.

  "Well that's too-" dad started, buying it.

  My mom glared at me, not having it: "you're the captain, Ru. You'll explain why you can't come."