Falling Into the Black

by Lauren Runow

  He sits up slightly. “I do. It’s Sophia.”

  I tilt my head to the side, raising my eyebrows in mock surprise. “Really? Over in room thirty-six? Sure she’s not too good for you?”

  Even though he’s sick, I still mess with him and treat him like other boys would treat him. Getting shit from your friends is part of growing up, and it breaks my heart that Kyle won’t ever have that.

  “Shut up,” he throws back. “I’m doing better than you are. You don’t even have a girlfriend.”

  “What makes you say that?” I’m shocked the story went to me. I think the teacher just got schooled at his own game. I’ve never been so proud.

  “Come on. Isn’t it obvious? It’s your day off, yet you’re here, with me. Where you always are. If you had a girlfriend or any type of life outside this hospital, you wouldn’t be here right now.”

  I sit up slightly offended but try to act more serious than I feel. “I have a life,” I defend. “I have friends, well, one friend.” I pause. I can’t tell him anything else, but mainly because he’s a kid, and well, there are just certain things you don’t share with anyone.

  “See, one friend.” He glares his disapproval before giggling. “Na, don’t lie, you have two. I’m your friend.”

  I grin, reaching out for his hand. “That means a lot, bro.”

  “Yeah, yeah, whatever. But I can’t be your girlfriend, too. It’s time to man up, bro.”

  I let out a loud laugh. This kid is wise beyond his years, and the way he said bro, mocking me, proves that maybe he knows what he’s talking about—like a parent talking to a child.

  I lean back in my chair again, putting my feet up and watching his fake annoyance at the gesture before sighing his approval. I take a deep breath, diving into the memory of my past. “I had a girlfriend, at one point…”

  Ten Years ago

  “Mom, Dad, where are you guys? The mail, it’s here. There’s a letter from UCLA!” I yell out, running through my house as my fingers tingle from the envelope in my hand, the very big envelope.

  “Carter, oh my God, open it!” my mom yells as they both come running in from outside, just as excited and nervous as I am.

  I’ve worked my ass off at school, taking every AP class I could, even driving a half hour every night to the next town to take pre-college courses at the local community college to try to compete with other kids from more affluent areas. I need this admission, but more importantly, I need a full scholarship.

  My parents are great people, but living in this tiny town doesn’t offer much chance for advancement. They have lived paycheck to paycheck most of my life, barely getting by and trying their best to make a great life for me. I want to make them proud. I want to show them their sacrifice was worth it, and I want to help them the way they helped me.

  With trembling fingers, I rip open the envelope, pulling out the stack of papers to read, “Congratulations, we are pleased to inform you that you’ve been offered a full scholarship to University of California, Los Angeles. Your tuition, lodging, and books are all included…”

  I try to read the rest, but my mom’s arms wrap around me as she cries into my shoulder, holding me tighter than she has in years. I drop the paper, engulfing her in my arms as my dad wraps around both of us. We all cry tears of joy, tears of relief. I did it. Everything I’ve worked for, every party I didn’t go to, every test I studied my ass off for, every hour I volunteered, every mile I drove to take extra classes has finally paid off.

  I’m getting out of here.

  Later that night I decided to go out for once, hang out with my friends and celebrate.

  “Holy shit, is that Carter Donovan at a party?” James shouts out as I walk up to his truck parked in the middle of a field. He’s sitting on the tailgate, and six other trucks are lined up in a similar position with a keg directly in the middle of it all.

  My best friend, Alan, answers for me, just as proud of my accomplishment, “We’re celebrating. Carter here is getting out of this shit hole, on a full ride to UCLA.” He hits my chest, and his beaming smile makes me laugh.

  James jumps off the truck. “No shit?” He grabs my hand. “Congrats, man.”

  “What? What’s going on?”

  I turn and see her. Evangeline. I’ve had a crush on her for years but never acted on it. She’s so out of my league. She’s the popular girl in school, the crazy girl, always doing wild things and causing a commotion in the community.

  I’ve watched her from afar, lusting after her every move. I’ve heard rumors she has a thing for me, but I never believed them. Or more, I tried not to. I wanted to so badly, but I couldn’t let anything get in the way of my dreams, so I kept my head down, focusing on what needed to be done.

  “I got in,” is all I say as a slight fear runs through my body from just looking at her.

  “You’re leaving?” I swear I see a bit of sadness in her eyes, and I know it shouldn’t, but it excites me to see I affect her that way.

  “Yeah, I got into UCLA on a full ride,” I say, pride bouncing around me.

  “When do you leave?” she asks, walking up closer to me, placing her hand on my chest, and I hope to God she can’t feel my heart beating like a bass drum deep in my chest.

  “Not till August,” I say, taking her cue and throwing caution to the wind. I already got in, so the idea of actually enjoying the rest of my senior year starts to take over, quickly.

  I wrap my arms around her waist and bring her into me. I hear my friends laugh, yelling, “Get you some.” And then they walk away, leaving us alone.

  I look back at them before smirking in her direction. “Don’t listen to them,” I suggest, hoping deep down that she actually will, in fact, listen to them.

  “Hmmm, it’s April, so you’ll leave in four months, then?” she says, snuggling up even closer.

  “Probably not until the end of the month, so more like five months,” I whisper, swallowing a lump in my throat.

  She looks up at me. Her eyes are so beautiful, so perfect. We stare into each other, acknowledging for the first time there’s something between us. I take a chance, leaning down, softly touching my lips to hers, and I’m done for.

  This girl is everything.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Evangeline

  I walk into class wearing the same silver high heel shoes I had on at the club on Saturday. I want to mess with Professor Spence to see if he recognizes me. I thought about it all day Sunday, trying to figure out if I should continue this little game or just come out and say it.

  I like games, what can I say?

  Without a word, I walk to my chair, sitting down and shuffling through my bag, trying not to pay attention to my teacher.

  Ashley pokes me from behind. “I love your shoes. So sassy,” she boasts, and I swear I want to kiss her right now.

  I lift my shoes, showing them off even more. “Aren’t they? I’ve had some good times in these shoes lately.”

  When I turn back around, I see Cole looking at me, but I can’t tell if it’s my shoes or my legs he’s admiring more. Either way, I know I’ve caught his attention.

  “Welcome, everyone,” he greets the class after shaking his head slightly like he’s ridding a thought from his mind. “Okay, let’s talk about evidence. What is it? How important is it? And what are the rules of evidence?”

  “Evidence is everything. Without it, you don’t have a case,” Alex yells out.

  “True. But are there rules to it?” he questions.

  “Of course there are. There are rules to everything,” Ashley retorts.

  “Yes,” he drawls out, “But aren’t rules made to be broken?” He winks at me, and I laugh.

  “Some, but not all,” Charlie bites out, making me turn to look at him.

  “Elaborate then,” Cole urges on.

  “Some rules are there for a reason. To protect people. To make sure things are fair.”

  “Yes, but when it comes to evidence, what is considered fair
?”

  “Evidence is evidence. That’s the point. The word itself means it’s a fact, so if it’s there then it has to be fair because it’s the truth.”

  “True, but what if it was collected illegally?” Cole argues back.

  “It’s still a fact,” Ashley states.

  “Yes, but is it admissible in court?”

  “It depends on the means of how it was obtained,” I yell out.

  Cole eyes me suspiciously. “Give me an example of what you mean.”

  “Well”—I change the position of my legs, purposely uncrossing them and changing sides, so my shoes stand out—“for example, if a cop breaks into your house without a warrant and finds the gun you used to kill someone, that’s protected under the Fourth Amendment and therefore thrown out in court. But”—I uncross my legs again, leaning in, putting my arms on the table, pushing my breasts up to him and going in for the kill—“say in the movie Top Gun”—I watch him narrow his eyes and swallow hard. I can tell his wheels are turning—“when Maverick,” I slowly say his name, “turns the plane upside down and Goose takes a picture of them flipping off the enemy, it might have been illegal to turn the plane upside down like that, but if they had to use the picture in court to prove something, as evidence, it would be allowed since the way they obtained the photo was not illegal under the Fourth Amendment.”

  I’ve got him. I watch as realization finally hits, and he knows who I am. Darkness fills his eyes as his tongue sticks out to lick his suddenly dry lips.

  “That’d be something you would do. Huh? Would you be Maverick or Goose in that situation?” I say, emphasizing Maverick to seal the deal and see his reaction.

  He doesn’t respond. Just stares at me, and it’s not until Charlie moves his chair, causing a harsh noise to fill the silent room that the trance he had on me breaks. I smirk, sitting back in my chair and winking at him.

  He nods his head slightly in recognition. “Good point, Angie. And yes, I think I would be Maverick in that situation.”

  “I knew it. And yeah, you can call me by my real name now. It’s Evangeline.”

  I smirk, and I swear I see the bulge in his pants get a little bigger before he turns back to the board and clears his throat, trying to get on with the rest of his lecture.

  A freedom I haven’t felt in years runs through my soul. I told him to call me Evangeline more to prove a point that it’s truly me, but I got more than I bargained for.

  I got me back.

  At this moment, suddenly, I feel like myself for the first time in years. And even more exciting, I’m happy about it.

  “Ang—I mean, Evangeline,” Cole calls out as I pack my bags at the end of class. “Do you have a moment?”

  I look up, smiling at him. The class was difficult to get through tonight; I’m not going to lie. Knowing Cole is Maverick and that he knew it was me proved to take my attention elsewhere, and I couldn’t focus for shit. Our eyes caught each other’s every five seconds it felt like, and after having to readjust himself multiple times, he finally sat down for the remainder of the lecture.

  I take my time packing my bag, waiting for more of the class to pour out. I notice Charlie takes longer than the others and finally leaves with a slight huff as he storms out.

  I sit back in my seat once the room is empty, crossing my hands over my desk. “You wanted to talk to me, teacher?”

  He smirks, and it’s honestly the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s written all over his face with that simple tilt to his lips. He’s imagining being inside me, taking control over my body and me falling to his every demand Saturday night.

  We sit in silence, staring at each other, willing the other person to say something. Our game is on, and I feel my panties moisten instantly as my heart rate picks up speed.

  “So…” He taps his fingers on his desk. “Evangeline, huh? What a beautiful name.”

  “Thank you,” I whisper, suddenly more affected by his trance.

  “It really is you?” He slowly stands up, walking over to where I am.

  Instinctively, I clench my legs together, holding my breath without even noticing it and looking straight ahead. Once he gets to my desk, standing tall by my side, his fingers brush out, slightly touching my face. I turn to look up at him, slowly releasing the breath I was holding when my eyes reach his.

  His presence overwhelms me, and the reality of the situation starts to slowly take over. It was one thing being next to him with a mask on and another thing watching him from afar while he taught the class. But now, here, with no one around, just the two of us. It’s different. I know what this man can do to me. I know what he feels like when he pushes inside me, when he licks me just the right way.

  I look away, needing a second to regroup.

  His fingers slightly touch me under my chin, turning me back to him, sending chills throughout my entire body. Instantly, I’m stuck in his trance again, and I’m motionless as I watch him slowly move his lips to mine.

  I’m done for. The feeling of him overwhelms all of my senses except one. The only one I don’t want to feel. The one I’ve avoided for too long, and I don’t want to feel it ever again.

  “Carter,” I say the second his lips leave mine.

  My arms grab hold of his neck as my legs wrap around his waist. His movements have slowed, and the way he’s slowly thrusting inside me while kissing my neck is about to drive me somewhere I’ve never been. I’ve had orgasms while he’s played with my clit or gone down on me, but this is a different feeling altogether. It’s so deep, so raw, and so unbelievably amazing.

  “Carter, God, what are you doing to me?” I pant out.

  “I feel you, Evangeline, let go. I’m here. I’ll catch you, I promise. I always will.”

  His lips meet mine again as his hands grip my own, and I scream instantly, exploding from the inside, and he stills, pressing hard against me, feeling every ounce of relief my body gives as I clench and then melt into him.

  It’s so perfect, so right. I had no idea sex could be like that, and now that I know, I want it with him, like this, for the rest of my life.

  No. Forget about it. That feeling can lead to nothing but heartache, and I need to leave. Now.

  I push him off me. “I’m sorry,” I say as I reach down for my bag and run out of his classroom, not sure if I’ll ever return.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Evangeline

  I missed class on Wednesday; I couldn’t bring myself to face him. At least not in that way. Now it’s Thursday, and I’m itching to go to the club. That’s all I want from him. All I need.

  When he kissed me in class things got too real, too intimate. Tonight will be a test, another game, and I’m hoping I come out ahead.

  Nerves wreck my stomach as I pull the mask down over my head. The club opens at nine, and it’s past ten now. I wanted to go late to see if he’d wait for me or if he’d go to someone else.

  Scanning the room, I see both him and Secret standing next to each other. Funny, this whole week I haven’t thought about this mystery guy, yet here he is again. I never even considered if Cole would tell him who I am.

  Then it hits me; I have no idea if they even know who each other are.

  I’m a little surprised to see them both standing there, engaging in their own conversation, seemingly oblivious to the multiple scenes unfolding around them. I want to believe they’re waiting for me.

  I tear my eyes away, walking toward a scene and sitting on the couch in front of it to watch. Not long after I sit down, a man I’ve never seen before approaches me.

  “Are you looking for some fun tonight?” he says.

  “No, she’s not,” I hear a deep voice radiate through the room, and I know it’s Secret, still disguising his voice.

  I turn to face him. “I’m sorry, did he ask you?” I taunt back.

  A smirk fills his face as he starts to walk toward me. I see Cole behind him, keeping his distance, which helps me breathe a little better.

  His
large frame towers over me. He looks at the guy on my right before looking back at me. “Don’t be sorry.” He pauses. “But I don’t believe our game is over yet.”

  He eyes the guy, tilting his head to the side, and he gets up without a second word, showing his respect toward Secret and leaving us alone.

  “You think you can just run people away like that?” I bite out.

  “You really think he could fuck you better than Maverick?” he whispers close to my ear before looking over at where he’s standing close by.

  Cole’s quick to stand behind me, placing his hand softly on my face and brushing my blond hair to the side. I look up at him, not sure what to say.

  “Evangeline,” he barely gets out, like he’s in pain to say it.

  I’m glad he didn’t say Angie, but the softness of his voice hits my stomach like a punch to the gut.

  I take a deep breath, looking at Secret. “How come I don’t know your name?”

  He doesn’t respond, just shakes his head.

  “And how come you barely talk and when you do you disguise your voice?”

  “Because it excites you,” he says in an even deeper voice.

  Cole’s hands run down my shoulders, around to the front and grip my breasts, stroking them softly.

  “Just like that excites you. Doesn’t it?” Secret asks.

  My head drops back. He’s right. I do like it.

  “You like to be fucked. You like for people to see you.” He leans in, whispering softly in my ear, “And I like watching you.”

  He starts to lean away, but I stop him, grabbing the back of his head and bringing his lips to mine. He’s frozen at first, his lips locked in place as his body goes rigid. I loosen my grip, not sure how to take his body language, but I don’t let him go fully. Instead, I lick his closed lips with mine, slowly and seductively, hoping he’ll soften.

  A deep growl comes from his mouth as he opens up, letting me in and sweeping his tongue with mine. His large hands wrap around my body, pulling me into him, and in seconds, I’m underneath him on the couch. His kisses turn feverish, uncontrollable, but fucking amazing.