by Lauren Runow
Chapter Thirty-Two
Evangeline
“You’re cold,” Carter states, rubbing my arms and bringing me closer to him after we sat on the bench in silence for a little while. This was exactly what I needed. For the first time in years, I could finally breathe. I didn’t feel that sharp pain deep in my gut or the weight that constantly felt like I couldn’t hold my shoulders up high.
I finally felt like me.
Carter always understood why sometimes I needed my quiet time and sitting here with him felt just as comfortable as it would be if I were sitting by myself.
I didn’t want this moment to end, but he’s right, the tank top and shorts I have on aren’t offering the warmth I need from the summer breeze that’s cutting through my thin T-shirt.
“Here, I’ll take you home. I didn’t see a car down at the parking lot. Did you walk here?”
I nod, biting my inner lip, scared to say anything. I’ve lived so long without him. I have so much to tell him and have no clue where to start, or even if we can start.
I mean, start what? With us? Are we an us? Does everything pick up where we left off? Where we are now? I have no clue.
He stands up and offers his hand out to me. Tilting his head to the side with a small smile on his face, he says, “Come on.”
I grab his hand, letting him guide me up, so we’re standing directly in front of each other. I can’t help myself, and I wrap my arms around him. Pulling him in close to me, breathing in his scent, and loving the comfort I feel wrapped in his warmth.
My hands run down his arms, feeling the skin beneath his shirt along with the dips and valleys in his muscles. “Where the hell did these come from?” I tease.
He smirks. “Let’s just say I spent a lot of time in the gym working off my frustrations.”
“So…you’re welcome then?” I ask, with a lift to my eyebrows and tilt to my lips, making sure what I said is okay. I know the frustrations he talks about revolve around not being able to find me.
Thankfully, he gets my joke and leans in to hug me. “I guess you’re right. I should thank you for that.”
“Well, it looks good on you.”
Laughing, he grabs my hand and tugs me away from the bench and toward the parking lot.
We end up talking until the sun rises, sitting in his car in front of Kaitlyn’s place. Holding on to him in silence at the pond was amazing but actually talking to him was even better.
He filled me in on how he got his degree and then the opportunity to be a pediatric oncologist at UCSF, while I filled him in on the crazy things I’ve done that led to working at the law firm.
We didn’t talk about us, or about Cole, or even about our son. All of that can wait. We were just two friends catching up with one another, and it was perfect.
Kaitlyn told him what flight I was on, so we both leave today, which worked out great since he has to head home for a donor drive they are holding for one of his patients.
At seven, we finally said our goodbyes so I could pack, and he could go visit his parents for a few hours before he picks me up for the flight.
“Hey, look who’s home,” Kaitlyn says from the couch as she holds her coffee cup close to her body like she’s guarding the liquid gold with her life.
“Carter showed up at the cemetery,” I admit.
“I know. I hope you’re not mad I told him where you were.”
I plop down on the couch next to her. “Nah, I’m not mad. I guess I should actually thank you.”
“Yeah?” She sits up, excited for some news about us.
“Nothing happened, don’t get too excited,” I say, throwing a pillow in her direction.
“Yeah, but you guys talked. That’s huge. I know you don’t like to hear it, but he really was a wreck over you. I felt so sorry for the guy.”
“He told me.” I sigh. “I think he understood why I did it, though.”
“Of course he did. We’ve talked about it. He understood then, but that doesn’t mean he was happy about it. He was just scared something had happened to you. We all were.”
I look over at her, ready to apologize again, but she stops me. “Hey, none of that matters anymore. You’re here. He’s there. And you guys found each other. So what’s the next step?”
“Who knows…” I sink down onto the couch more, resting my head against the back. “We’re heading home in a few hours.”
“Do you think you’ll get back together with him? Wait, didn’t you mention something about his best friend?”
I drop my head to my chest. Cole.
I was so wrapped up with being home, then talking to Carter again that I almost completely forgot about Cole.
Almost.
“Do you like this guy?”
I shrug.
“Were you guys serious?”
“Not really. I mean, we hooked up a few times at the club and then when I realized he was my professor—”
“What?” She jumps up. “Your professor?”
Laughing, I admit, “Yeah, I enrolled in an intro to law class, and he was my professor.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“Right? I was all excited when I realized it, but then we got to know each other, and one thing led to another…” I don’t complete that sentence. No need to. “He asked me to quit going to the club to exclusively date him.”
“And you said yes?”
“I wasn’t exactly sure. I haven’t dated anyone since Carter. I was willing to give it a try, but the next day everything blew up, and I realized it was Carter, and here we are.”
“So…have you talked to this guy?”
“No.”
“But he’s Carter’s friend?”
“I guess. We haven’t talked about it, but I know they know each other.”
I take a deep breath, standing up before I say, “I’ve got to go pack. Carter’s going to be here pretty soon, and I have to shower and get ready first.”
Kaitlyn nods, and I walk down the hallway with a mess of thoughts running through my head. After jumping in the shower, I let the hot water pound down on my chest before I walk my head under the stream, letting it fall down my face, and hide the tears that instantly start to fall.
Saying goodbye to Kaitlyn was harder than I thought it would be, but I promised her I’d keep in touch, and we even planned a trip for her to come visit me in San Francisco.
Carter and I were able to switch seats with other passengers so we could sit together. We were both exhausted from our night of talking so, thankfully, I was able to lift my armrest and curl up next to him to sleep the entire flight home. Being back in his arms felt so real. So right. Like the past ten years hadn’t happened, and we are the same two people.
“So you’ll come to the drive tomorrow?” Carter asks, standing at my doorway after he walked me to my place.
“Of course. Do I get to meet the little guy too?”
Carter laughs to himself. “He’d like that.”
“He would?” I ask, a little confused.
“Yeah. He knows all about you.”
“He does?”
“Let’s just say he’s given me advice a time or two.”
“How old is he?” I ask in disbelief.
He shakes his head. “Never mind.” He leans in to kiss my lips softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow…” I whisper as he walks away, and I shut the door.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Evangeline
My stomach turns when I see the banner for the event saying it’s hosted by none other than Cole’s law firm.
I look around and see Cole on one side of the event and Carter on the other. Seemingly they look to be in their own separate worlds, but I can tell their tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
Carter and I never discussed the club or Cole while in Minnesota. I still don’t know their story or how close they are, but something tells me that since he’s involved in this event, there’s more than just the
club friendship there.
Well, at least there was more than the club.
They both look up and see me standing there, not sure which direction to move. After glancing at each other, then back to me, they both start in my direction.
Questions run through my mind. I did start to like Cole, and it was nice seeing Carter again, but are we still the same people? Have we grown so much that we won’t like each other when real life kicks in? I know that Cole’s personality fit pretty well with mine, but Carter and I fell right back into our friendship like no time had passed at all.
When Cole reaches me first, my head is spinning, and I hold up my hands. “Stop,” I say, making sure he keeps his distance in front of Carter. I don’t want to cause a scene at something that should be a promising event.
“I just want to make sure you’re okay?” Cole asks, standing a few feet from me.
I take a weary breath. “I’m sorry I haven’t returned any of your calls. I’m fine. You were right. I had to deal with my issues.”
“Where were you?”
“She went home, with me,” Carter says, stepping up right then, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pumping out his chest like a lion staking his claim.
I look at him, not hiding my irritation and stepping out of his grip. “I didn’t go with you. But yes, I went back to our hometown.”
“Can we talk?” Cole asks, holding out his hand to me, and I look at it, then at Carter.
“Not here. This is all too much right now. I’m here to get tested for the little boy.”
“It’s this way,” Carter says, placing his hand behind my back again to lead me away.
I catch him glaring at Cole, and I respond with pushing his arms off me. I may not know what’s going on with either of them, but I won’t have one staking claim on me like I’m a prize to be won. Even if it is Carter.
The test is a simple mouth swab, so it doesn’t take long until I’m ready to leave and get away from the watchful eyes of two guys who I know are staring at my every move.
If only it were that easy.
I look over at Cole, who’s waiting for me from where he was signing people into the drive. After taking a deep breath, I walk toward him. I can’t be a bitch and ignore him just because it makes my life easier.
He walks away from the table and meets me halfway. “Did you really see him back home?”
I nod. “You have to understand. We have a lot of history together. History that was left unresolved.”
“So where does that leave us?”
I look up at him, biting the inside of my cheek. His eyes are sad behind his glasses, and I can tell he’s been running his hands through his hair by the extra messy look he’s sporting now. “I honestly don’t know.”
“Do you still love him?”
“Cole, you can’t ask me that. It’s been years. But yes, at one point in my past I did. Very much.”
He takes a deep breath, looking around the event while he tries to figure out what to say next.
“Do I even have a chance against him?” he asks flat-out.
“Yes. No. God. A girl needs to think, okay? Everything has happened so fast. Can we all pause so I can take in the fact that someone I haven’t seen in ten years appeared out of the blue? I know this may suck for you, but please try to remember how I feel.”
He steps up, grabbing my hand, trying to calm my sudden irritation. “Hey, I’m sorry. I get it. You take all the time you need. I’d like to see you if I can, though.”
“We’ll see, okay? Either way, I’ll be in class on Monday. Maybe we can talk then.”
He nods, giving my hand a tight squeeze, kissing my cheek before turning to walk away.
Carter quickly approaches me. “I’m sorry if I upset you earlier,” he says as he holds out his hand low to grab ahold of mine.
“I’m sorry, too. I was caught off guard. I had no clue Cole would be here. So you guys are friends?”
“We were friends,” he spits out.
“Carter…that’s not fair. I don’t want to come between you guys.”
“You didn’t. I swear. He’s known for years how hard I’ve looked for you and how much of a mess I was without you. I don’t know how he realized it was you, but any friend of mine would have told me right away, not try to make it so I never knew you were here.”
I let out a deep sigh while rubbing my hands through my hair, frustrated with the entire situation.
When my bracelet runs down my arm, the sight of my tattoo catches my attention. I briefly close my eyes, turning my wrist out to display it for Carter. Our eyes meet, and he quickly holds his up to show the unchanged line we got ten years ago.
“That’s how he knew.” He pauses, looking around the event. “Do you like him?” Carter asks from out of nowhere.
I shrug. “I don’t know.”
“Were you really going to date him like he said you guys were?”
I shrug. “I was.”
“Was…? So not anymore?”
“No. Yes. Shit, I don’t know. I told him the same thing. Everything just happened so fast.”
“But what about us? Evangeline, I’ve never stopped looking for you, and I never stopped loving you.”
“That was a long time ago, Carter. What if who we were back then isn’t who we are now? All we have is the past. Is that enough for us to hold a future?”
“You know it is. We knew it back then. What we had was something special.”
I sigh. He’s right. It really was. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about him every day for all these years.
“It’s going to take time,” I admit. “We can’t just pick up where we left off. I need to figure things out first.”
“I’ve got all the time in the world. I’ve waited this long having no clue where you were. I’m not going to let you go again.”
I look into his eyes, seeing every ounce of determination he put into that statement. It’s the same look I’ve dreamed about for years. The look he gave me when he left for college. He said we’d be together forever and that he’d come get me from our hometown as soon as he could. I believed him then just as I do now.
“Come on,” he says, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the crowd. “I want to introduce you to Kyle.”
I follow him into the hospital, and we enter a room where a young boy is sitting up in his bed playing on his phone.
“You better not be practicing our racing game on the app,” Carter announces as he enters the room.
The kid drops the phone instantly, hiding it under his blanket. “What, you scared?” he teases back.
Carter reaches for the phone, turning it to reveal the game he was talking about. “Yeah, I see how you cheat.”
“It’s not cheating, it’s practice. Practice makes perfect, remember?”
“Okay, smart-ass,” Carter says, engulfing the boy in his arms and rubbing his head with a closed fist.
The boy laughs while trying to stop the attack and when Carter finally lets him sit back, he hits his shoulder, saying, “Guess who this is?”
“Shut up! You mean you actually do have a life outside of here?” he teases.
“Yes, I do…” he deadpans.
“Don’t lie,” I jump in on the conversation. “I can only imagine how he throws his life into the hospital. I bet he’s here even on his days off, huh?”
“Dude! All the time. You’d think he was the sick person in this situation.”
“What? Is it a crime that I like to hang out with you?”
He looks at him like he’s crazy. “I’m eleven. You’re how old? Yes, I’d say it’s a crime that hanging out with me is more fun than your real life.”
“Don’t worry. He was the same back in high school. It took years for him to actually notice me and ask me out,” I tease, winking at Carter.
“Okay, that’s enough of bash on Carter time. Kyle, I’d like for you to meet Evangeline.”
I reach out my hand to shake his, and
instead, he gives me a fist bump, and after we hit, he blows it up.
“I taught him that,” Carter brags.
I can’t help but smile at the man, and the doctor Carter has become. If his other patients are anything like Kyle, Carter has left quite the impression on these young kids just like he did on me so many years ago. I’d be lying if I said those feelings from the past don’t come creeping back in.
“Dr. Donovan,” a nurse calls from the door. “You’re needed in the tent.”
“I’ll be right there,” he responds. “Okay, man, now you’ve met her, you know I’m not lying, so there. Now I have to get back to, I don’t know, saving lives, possibly yours,” he boasts out.
“Was his ego always this big?” Kyle asks, looking at me.
“No, I think that’s something he’s earned over the years,” I answer.
Carter grins at me then we say our goodbyes and walk back to the tent.
“He’s a pretty cool kid,” I say.
“Yeah. Let’s hope we can find him a donor today.”
“We will. I feel it.”
He leans down to give me a hug goodbye. For the first time, I almost panic. I’m not ready to say goodbye, so I blurt out, “Want to read those letters tonight?”
He leans in, whispering, “Hell yes, I do. I’ll be over at seven. Sounds good? I’ll bring food.”
I let out a sigh of relief. “Sounds good.”
Chapter Thirty-Four
Evangeline
I have to catch my breath for a second after I open the door. I’m still shocked that this is Carter, and he’s here in my place. After years of yearning for him and also trying to forget about him, everything still seems so surreal.
We stare at each other for a little longer than we should, and when his lips curl up into a small smile, I pull the door open further, silently inviting him into my home for the first time. He leans in to kiss my cheek hello then sets the Mexican food he brought down on my counter.
“I hope you like burritos. There’s a killer place on 24th and Mission, so I stopped by real quick before coming here, with no sour cream, of course.” He winks, and I love that he remembers my distaste for sour cream.