“Back off Riana.” Tabitha warned. “This is between me and Alex.”
Riana slowly shook her head. “No, I don’t think it is.” She observed with an eerie calmness. “You see, I think you seem to feel it was my fault that Alex broke up with Kim--”
“It was!” Tabitha interrupted and with cat-like reflexes Riana pinned Tabitha against the door of an empty stall.
“I wasn’t done.” The unnerving calm edge remained in Riana's voice. Tabitha swallowed and Alex was torn between breaking the confrontation up and waiting to see how it all played out. “I only have a few things to say about this and then I don’t want it to come up again, understood?” Tabitha scowled at Riana with a reply. “First of all, nothing has happened between me and Alex.” Tabitha barely opened her mouth to protest. “Nothing.” Riana repeated firmly. Tabitha closed her mouth. “Alex never cheated on Kim, just as I never cheated on Ryan. Alex isn’t malicious and he’d never purposely hurt someone. Especially someone he cared so much about. Still cares about. How we may or may not feel about each other is no one’s business but ours.” Riana glanced at Alex and barely smiled with her eyes. “As a guest to my ranch, I expect more respect from you. To both me and Alex.” Riana took a step back, her eyes never left Tabitha. “This is done now, understood?”
The fierceness in Riana’s eyes made it clear it wasn’t a question. Tabitha barely nodded. Riana nodded once, turned and silently exited the barn. Alex watched her leave, stunned by her behavior. He had never seen her behave in such a way. He was taken aback when he realized he found it oddly sexy.
Riana felt her whole body shake as she left the barn. She continued to seethe about how Tabitha had yelled at Alex. She was also terrified she had overstepped some major boundaries and might lose her friendship with the guys because she couldn’t keep her temper in check. She glanced over and saw Spencer being led around on Sugar while Matthew rode behind him on Sonny. She hurried back to the house.
Just as Riana grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge she heard him. “Ri…” Alex started hesitantly.
Riana didn’t turn to him right away. She dropped her head in shame as she shakily put her water on the counter. “Alex, I’m so sorry.” She started softly. “I shouldn’t--”
She was stopped by Alex’s hands on her hips and his chest against her back. “Ri.” He breathed against her ear. “You are incredible.” He nuzzled into her as he inhaled her scent. Riana’s logic vanished. She turned to face him but the amount of contact between them never lessened. “Absolutely amazing.” He whispered. His lips were just under her ear and they lightly brushed her neck. Goose bumps rose to the surface of Riana’s skin under the sensation of his lips and the deep rumble of his voice.
Everything that told Riana not to continue was ignored as she leaned her head back,. She sighed as she tangled her hand in Alex’s hair and brought his lips back to her neck. Alex pulled back and their eyes met. “Alex,” she whispered.
“I’m sorry.” He quickly stuttered. “I--”
“Alex.” Riana interrupted firmly as she tightened the grip of her fingers in his silky black hair. “Kiss me.” She commanded. She pulled her lower lip under her teeth. “Please.” She whimpered.
Alex tightened his hold on Riana’s hips as he spun them around and pinned Riana against the kitchen island. Riana felt no fear or apprehension, only pure exhilaration. Alex’s own emotions rushed by him, he was nervous but only because he had wanted this moment for so long. Riana’s hands grasped against the cool granite counter as she tried to keep herself upright despite her weak knees.
Alex gently placed his hand to the side of Riana’s face. She leaned into it as she closed her eyes. Alex admired her for a long moment, the softness of her face, the blush in her cheeks and her pink, pouty lips. He licked his lip and pulled it under his teeth as he tried to calm himself. Riana felt like minutes, hours, passed by. She began to worry perhaps this was the boundary she shouldn’t have crossed. She felt panic rise in her chest as she worried he wouldn’t kiss her and that she just made a complete fool of herself.
Then she felt him, closer, his shaky breath against her lips. Alex felt his hand begin to tremble as he leaned in. Riana kept her cheek in the palm of his hand and brought her left hand back up to grasp the hair at the back of his head as she pulled him in to close the torturous gap between them. Riana’s body was overcome with what felt like a full body sigh as Alex’ full, soft lips finally met hers. Riana pulled him closer as she deepened the kiss.
Alex’s mind raced as he relished kissing her. His hand drifted off Riana’s cheek, only to be tangled in her hair with his other hand. Riana opened her mouth to the exploration of Alex’s tongue. She knew, in that moment, that she had never experienced a kiss so emotionally charged, or so raw.
Riana’s mind swam as Alex pulled back and playfully bit her lower lip, her vertical labret was pulled back by his teeth. Riana whimpered as her whole body lit on fire. The kiss finally broke. They panted heavily, their minds fogged with desire. Alex’s eyes bore into Riana’s and she felt utterly helpless. She trembled; an overdose of adrenaline, desire and conflicting emotions. She barely felt Alex back away but she grabbed his hips and urgently brought him back to her, desperate to continue the moment. She was completely consumed by him. Despite any warnings, she continued to move towards the flames he had ignited within her. Her limbs tingled as the fire spread, each touch of Alex’s hands and lips caused a wave of cinders.
Alex again brought his lips to hers, the stubble on his chin rubbed against the sensitive skin of her face. She gathered the material of his t-shirt in her hands and debated whether or not she should just strip him right there in the kitchen. She decided against it, instead she feverishly used her grip on his shirt as a means to get him closer. Alex gently pulled back and gazed down at her. Part of him knew he shouldn’t be there, kissing her. Riana gave a small smile as she pecked his lips, then his chin. She trailed kisses along his strong jawline to underneath his ear where she lightly nibbled.
Alex may have known he shouldn’t partake, but as Riana’s teeth gently grasped his skin he was overtaken by passion. He let out a throaty groan as he quickly grasped Riana just under her butt and effortlessly lifted her to sit on the countertop of the island. Riana quickly locked her legs behind him as she wrapped her arms around his neck. He rushed to meet her lips feverishly and moaned into her mouth as his lips crashed into hers. He broke the kiss and pressed his lips to Riana’s lower neck and gave a barely noticeable bite. Riana whimpered and bit her lip. Electric shocks of lust rushed through her.
“Mmm...Alex.” She breathed as his hands dug into her hips. She yearned for him; every inch of her skin wanted his hands, lips or both.
Too soon, the guilt gripped her. “Alex.” She choked out. The change in her voice forced Alex to instantly pull back. Riana’s eyes pleaded with his. She wished it could be different. She felt her chest tighten. “I...can’t…”
Tears formed in her eyes. Alex brought his hands to the sides of her face. His thumbs gently caught the first of her tears as they fell. “I’m sorry Ri.” He whispered. “I should have known better.”
“Me too.” She sniffled as she placed her forehead against his. She brought her hand up to the side of his face and lovingly stroked his cheek with her thumb. Alex’s eyes were deep, soulful and heartbroken. “If things were… different.” He nodded against her. “I’m so sorry.” Riana cried, then placed her lips softly against his. He took in a shaky breath then hesitantly returned her kiss. Riana felt more tears break through. She closed her eyes tightly; it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
“I guess…” Alex started softly. “I guess you know how I feel now, Ri.” He confessed hoarsely. Riana opened her eyes and witnessed Alex fight his own tears. “You just…” He quickly wiped the first of his tears off his face. “...have to figure out how you feel.” He finished and took one full step away from where Riana still sat on the island.
Riana’s heart and soul crumb
led the moment he stepped away. She swallowed thickly. “It’s not… It’s not that easy Alex.” She cried.
“Ri…” He sighed. “You’re… with Ryan.” Riana winced. “You can’t have us both.” Riana turned away from Alex and let go of deep sobs as she nodded. Alex squeezed her knee, then walked away.
Riana wrapped her arms around herself as she heaved out broken sobs. She was overcome with a sense of nausea. She had never been unfaithful to anyone, especially Ryan. She shook her head against the knowledge that she was more than willing to cross lines with Alex she knew she shouldn’t. She couldn’t deny the rush she felt when embraced and kissed by him. It was unnatural. How she felt with him was different than anyone else in her life. She had never been so overcome with passion and emotion.
Chapter Eighteen
Not Ready To Make Nice
Samantha quickly approach the corral and urgently motioned Lexi over. Lexi caught Derek’s eye, “Hey dear, could you take over for a minute?” Derek stepped off the fence and took the lead from Lexi with a smile. She hopped over the fence and jogged over to Sam. Sam’s eyes were wide and terrified. “What’s wrong?” Lexi asked quickly.
“Lexi!” Sam quietly exclaimed. “I think Ri is about to kick Tabitha’s ass.” Thankfully she didn’t say it loud enough for anyone else to hear.
“What?” Lexi hissed as she pulled Sam further away from the corral.
“I was in the barn, talking with Alex when Tabitha came in. She was questioning him about how he felt about Ri. He told her to let it go, but she started yelling…” Sam tried to catch her breath. “I didn’t exactly want to be in the middle of it so I left… But as I was leaving I ran into Riana. Before I could even fully tell her what happened she stormed into the barn.” Sam gave a look Lexi understood all too well, and Sam’s next words confirmed it. “She was on a fucking mission Lex.”
“Ah, dammit.” Lexi muttered. “Sam, go hang with D and Matt.” Sam didn’t argue as she didn’t particularly care for conflict and Lexi went to attempt to defuse what she was sure would be a confrontation to end all confrontations. Once Riana loved someone, be that friendship or otherwise, she would fight to the ends of the earth to defend them. Tabitha had no idea what she got into.
However, as Lexi approached the barn, she didn’t hear any yelling. She looked in and saw Tabitha, alone. “Tabitha?” She beckoned. Tabitha looked up, startled. “Um, Matthew was wondering where you ran off to.” Lexi covered.
Tabitha gave a weak smile. “I’ll be right there.”
Lexi nodded and backed out of the doorway. She scanned the surrounding area and searched for Ri and Alex. She went to the backside of the barn after she thought perhaps they were by the pasture. Chester greeted Lexi at the fence, but no sign of Riana or Alex. Lexi rubbed Chester’s nose quickly. She was sure they hadn’t gone out past the corral or surely Matt and Derek would have convinced them to stay. She figured the most logical place would be the house.
Lexi didn’t find them out front, or outside in the back, but when she reached the patio door to check inside she was halted by what she saw. Alex had Riana backed against the kitchen island and their hands were tangled in each other’s hair as they kissed. Lexi blushed at the intensity of their moment and smiled to herself as she turned to walk away. “Good for you, Ri.” She murmured with a smile.
Lexi rushed back to the corral and hopped up on the fence with Derek and Sam. Tabitha had taken over with Spencer and Sugar. Lexi nudged Sam. “Did Tabitha say anything?” She whispered.
Samantha shook her head. “Not about anything with Alex and Ri. What did you run into in there?” She quietly asked.
“Nothing actually, only Tabitha. She seemed a little shaken up, but physically unharmed.” Lexi grinned a bit. “Um, Alex and Ri weren’t in there… they were… umm… busy, in the house.” A little blush kissed Lexi’s cheeks as she remembered the scene. Samantha’s eyes grew wide.
“Are you serious?” Sam grabbed Lexi’s knee
quickly. Lexi looked around to make sure no one else had heard, then nodded. Sam took a deep breath. “She’s going to need us.” She surmised softly. “She’s not ready Lex.”
“I know. But maybe this will help the process along, you know? I mean, she wasn’t exactly seeming to mind it.” Lexi grinned devilishly. Sam rolled her eyes. Lexi felt the fence flex and suddenly Alex was next to her. “Ugh! Alex, don’t scare me like that!” Lexi scolded. She tried not to look him in the eyes as she was sure she’d blush; the image of him and Riana was still fresh in her mind.
“Sorry.” He mumbled as he looked out at Spencer and Tabitha. Lexi realized that something must have happened between him and Riana. She glanced over at Samantha.
Lexi reached for Sam’s hand and pulled her off the fence. “We’re going to… see if Ri needs any help getting things ready for lunch.” Derek smiled and nodded while Alex continued to glaze over. Lexi essentially drug Sam all the way across the yard from the corral to the house.
Lexi took a deep breath as they reached the front door. “Okay, we’ll have to… probably not say that I saw them. We have to hope she opens up right away. By the way Alex looked whatever happened in here did not end well.” Samantha frowned and nodded in agreement. Lexi eased the door open. “Ri?” She called.
Riana had gathered herself enough to slide off the kitchen counter after a long moment. She shuffled to her room, overcome by a choking sensation. She couldn’t breathe, and couldn’t see through her tears. She eased herself onto her bed and buried her head into her pillows as she wailed.
A light knock broke through the sounds of her sobs and the door eased open. “Ri?” Sam beckoned.
“Yeah.” Riana croaked. Samantha pushed the door all the way open and stepped in, Lexi close behind her. Once they saw the pain in Riana’s face they rushed to her side.
“Ri, oh honey, what’s wrong?” Lexi murmured as she hastened to Riana and wrapped her in her arms. Riana was unable find any words, but her wails intensified. Both Lexi and Samantha held Riana and stroked her hair.
They tried to hush her, but Riana was inconsolable. “I’m so...stupid.” Riana choked out. “I don’t know what I was… thinking. He’s gonna…” She fought to catch her breath. “He’s gonna hate... me.” Her breaths continued to be choppy and forced.
“Shh... no, honey, you’re not stupid.” Samantha assured. Riana watched as the fabric of Sam’s shirt darkened as her tears came to rest on her shoulder.
Riana sniffled and swallowed thickly as she glimpsed towards Lexi and Sam. She fought to find her voice. “He will. They both will.” Heavy confusion lay on Lexi and Sam’s face, despite already having sensed the cause of Riana’s meltdown. “Ryan and Alex.” Riana clarified. “They’re both going to hate me.” Her friends sighed and patiently waited for her to elaborate. “I’m not a cheater, you know that.” Riana affirmed through her shallow breaths. Lexi and Sam nodded and assured Riana they knew she wasn’t. “But...but I kissed Alex.” Riana winced and waited to be scolded but it never came. She figured they assumed it was innocent. “Like, really kissed him.” Riana made her eyes wide and serious. “You know… tongue and all, pulling hair… ugh, it was… unbelievable.” She finished and closed her eyes. Images of Alex flashed before her. Her eyes fluttered open. She was met with mild looks of amusement on Lexi and Sam’s faces.
“Oh yeah?” Sam urged, an excited spark danced in her eyes.
“Argh! You guys suck!” Riana yelled with a light laugh. “Can’t you see I’m in emotional turmoil?” Riana flung herself back and covered her head with a pillow.
“Ri, sweetheart…” Lexi began with a deep breath. “I think, that maybe, you need to stop worrying so much about Ryan.”
“He’s my boyfriend Lex!” Riana bemoaned into her pillow.
“Is he Ri?” She challenged. “Think about it. Does he support you in your career? Does he care for you or make you laugh? Is he the one here right now? Any time you ask him for more commitment he pulls further away. You’ve ne
ver met his family, and it’s been what, almost four years? You give and give to him and he gives you nothing in return except mixed signals and consistent heartbreak.” Riana scowled in the darkness under her pillow. She hated it when Lexi made such valid points.
“Alex…” Samantha prompted softly. Riana felt her chest tighten at the sound of his name. “Alex is everything Ryan isn’t, Ri.”
Riana uncovered her face. “He won’t love me. He can’t love me.” Riana reasoned through her tears. Samantha twisted her mouth.
Sam’s hazel eyes narrowed at Riana. “Why not?” She asked.
“He just can’t. He deserves better. I’m not good enough for him.” Riana grumbled.
“Did he kiss you back?” Lexi pushed.
A blush rushed to Riana’s cheeks as she lightly touched her lips and smiled softly. “Yes.” She whispered. “And he was phenomenal.” She breathed. “It was the sweetest, yet the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced.” The tears welled up again as she remembered. “He… He said to me after I stopped it… He said, ‘I guess you know how I feel now.’ and I don’t!” Lexi and Samantha sighed in frustration.
“Really Ri? Come on honey, you’re a smart woman. Do you really think it would have been so intense if he didn’t care about you?” Sam pressed.
“Who knows.” Riana mumbled. “Maybe he’s like every other man--” Lexi smacked her arm.
“Shut your face. You know damn well he’s not!” Lexi scolded. Riana knew Lexi was right again. Alex was unlike any man Riana had ever known. He was silly and fun yet deep and compassionate. He was beautiful yet humble. Alex had provided Riana with safety and comfort whenever she needed it.
Disillusioned Love Page 18