“I’ll be a beautiful corpse then,” Loupe said breathlessly. She fought not to close her eyes to better concentrate on the gentle caress.
Etienne burst into laughter, his head falling back with the force of it. He dropped his hand and Loupe briefly mourned the loss of the simple touch. Still, she couldn’t help but smile at the sound. She wanted to hear him laugh more often.
“Loupe, are you in a hurry to return home?” he asked as his laughter had finally subsided.
Yes. “No.” Loupe mentally smacked herself, but continued anyway. “My stepmother and stepsisters have gone to visit with family. Some of her brothers were stopping at a nearby port to trade” —stolen goods, probably—“and they wanted to take the opportunity for an extended visit.”
“Wonderful. Then if I’m not keeping you from anything, you can come on a small tour with me while the stable boy replaces your horse.”
Before Loupe could object, Etienne walked off to make the arrangements. By the time he came back, Loupe’s overheated brain still hadn’t come up with a single reason for not allowing him to escort her around the grounds.
As they turned to leave, Loupe suddenly remembered the pups. An idea sprang into her head. “Wait!” She rushed to the back of the cart and lifted one of the pups out.
“You want to take them on a walk with us?” Etienne asked.
Loupe didn’t look in his eyes, unable to take her gaze from the pups. The little furballs stared up at her, their tiny faces as familiar as she imagined her own children’s would be. This was going to be one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do.
“Actually,” she forced out. “I was hoping you’d let them stay here. On your grounds.”
She finally looked at Etienne’s face, reading his surprise.
“It’s just that I know they’ll be safe here,” she pressed, determined to do what was best for the pups no matter how hard it was for her. “You have so many wolves around, surely they would look after the pups?”
“They are young enough that they would likely be adopted, yes,” Etienne agreed. He fixed her with a soul-searching stare. Loupe’s eyes filled with tears even faster. “Are you certain you can part with them?” he asked gently.
Loupe nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Etienne hesitated only briefly before retrieving the two pups from the cart and gesturing for the approaching stable boy to take it away.
They started walking and Loupe clutched the pup she was carrying to her face, inhaling the musky scent of wolf. Her tears soaked its fur and it wriggled and yipped in protest. For the past several weeks, they’d been the only real family she had. Such unquestioning loyalty was going to be hard to live without. She buried her face in the pup’s fur to muffle a sob.
“You’ll have to come visit them, you know.”
Loupe’s head snapped up and she stared at Etienne. He was looking ahead of them, keeping his eyes on the grass as they left the stone path and headed across the huge expanse of lawn toward the forest beside the castle.
“Your kindness continues to amaze me,” she said finally. She snuggled the wolf pup one last time then set it down. Etienne followed her lead and they continued their walk with three balls of wolf fluff bouncing around their ankles.
“I’m pleased to impress you, though of course you will keep my abundant kindness a secret between us,” Etienne joked. “I would not want my subjects to get too comfortable.”
“You don’t want your subjects to think you’re kind? Why not? I would think a ruler would want his people to speak well of him, and you will be king one day.”
“Of course I want my people to think well of me,” Etienne agreed. “However, our kingdom does have enemies. I would be a poor ruler indeed if I allowed our enemies to think of our kingdom as an easy target just because the people speak of me as ‘kind.’ The sad fact is, Loupe, this kingdom would not be as great as it is today if our king had been afraid to shed a little blood.”
“Indeed our kingdom has seen more than its share of bloodletting if the history books are true.”
The words escaped before she could stop them. She barely refrained from clapping a hand over her mouth. It was an unspoken rule in the kingdom that one did not speak of the atrocities committed by the king who had ruled before the current royal family. King Laurimar had been an insane, power-hungry man. Rumor spoke of an old prophecy that had driven the monarch to sacrifice his own people, spilling their blood over the land in some macabre attempt to summon some kind of magic. No one knew exactly what the prophecy was, but to King Laurimar, it had been worth killing for.
Etienne reared back as if she’d slapped him. “You refer to the human sacrifices conducted by the previous monarch. I assure you, my philosophy in no way aligns with those atrocities. I would never spill innocent blood, for any reason.”
“But you feel you have to spill some blood in order to be a good ruler.” The words kept flowing out of her mouth, despite Loupe’s horror at her own rudeness. The prince had taken the king and gone to find her lost pup, he was giving her a horse, and he was offering her pups safe haven. Yet here she was calling him a bad ruler. Still, a part of her needed to know what kind of man he was, what kind of ruler he would be.
A minute passed and he still didn’t speak. Loupe glanced over at him. He was watching her as he walked, his eyes narrowed slightly and his brow furrowed. He didn’t exactly look angry so much as a little frustrated and somewhat…curious.
“Last night a…man…tried to break into the palace,” he said finally. “When we discovered him, he fought. His blood was spilled. Are you saying that was wrong? Should I have engaged him in conversation and talked him into not breaking into the palace?”
Loupe couldn’t help but glare at him, just for a moment. “Of course I’m not saying that. You don’t have to make peaceful resolutions sound stupid. I’m only saying that spilling blood is something that is done as a last resort and a good ruler should be concentrating more on showing his people he’s a good ruler than working to make sure his enemies fear him.”
“I never said I concentrate more on what my enemies think than what my people think.”
“You said that you didn’t want a reputation as a kind ruler. How is that not caring more about what your reputation says to your enemies than what it says to your people?”
Etienne stopped walking and stared at her. Tension sang off his body and his gaze seemed like it would bore a hole straight through her. Loupe’s mouth went dry. Was she really arguing with the prince? The prince who had kissed her?
Well, at least I won’t have to worry about leading him on, she thought miserably.
Their gazes locked. “Loupe, I care about what my people think of me,” he said quietly.
Loupe’s heart pounded. There was something about the way he looked at her, the tilt of his body… She would have sworn that he’d meant he cared what she thought of him.
“But even though I want my people to think I’m a just ruler, even a kind ruler, I need them to know that I am also capable of violence if violence is necessary,” he continued. He took a deep breath, but still didn’t break eye contact. “And sometimes, Loupe, violence is necessary.”
Loupe’s mind suddenly filled with images of her stepfamily. How often had she thought of their cruelty and thought of maybe just once not chaining herself up out in the forest? Of maybe, just once, letting the change happen at home. Just once so they could see how dangerous she could be. Maybe then they would give her some respect, quit treating her so poorly.
“Sometimes violence is necessary,” Loupe agreed softly. “But sometimes your enemy is violent too.” She thought of all the wolf pelts back at her house and the rows of weapons that her stepfamily cherished so highly. She didn’t think making them fear her would do her one whit of good. They’d likely just kill her. “If your enemy meets your violence with more violence then where else does spilling blood get you but dead?” She shook her head. “If all your reputation gives you credit for is viole
nce, then that’s all people will think you’re capable of. And if the day comes when violence is not an option and you want to offer peace, you need them to believe you are capable of going through with such an alternative.”
“Where does your mind go when you speak of these things?”
His question caught her completely off guard. She realized he was staring at her as if reading her mind. Considering where her mind had been, that was not a comfortable thought.
“Never mind,” she said weakly, moving forward again and hoping he’d follow suit.
He started walking again and Loupe’s knees trembled with relief. They walked for a little ways. Just as they reached the edge of the forest, Etienne turned to her.
“I appreciate you being willing to speak so openly with me,” he said slowly.
Loupe shrugged, not wanting to dwell on her lapse in judgment. “I’m afraid I may have crossed a line. I’m sorry.”
He frowned. “I don’t want you to think of me as a barbarian.”
They crossed into the forest and one of the pups leapt up onto a tree branch, using it as a springboard to launch itself at Etienne’s chest. It bounced off the prince’s sternum and into a pile of leaves.
Etienne grunted in surprise as he rocked back slightly. He snorted and snatched a stick from the ground and tossed it at the pup in mock anger. The pup barked excitedly and chased after the projectile.
“Somehow I don’t think you need to worry about me finding you very intimidating at the moment,” Loupe commented dryly.
Suddenly, Etienne grabbed her arms and spun her around to face him. He pressed her back into the rough bark of a tree. Her breath caught and her eyes widened as she suddenly found herself pinned between him and a large oak. His lower body pressed against hers, the heat of his flesh burning along the front of her body. Loupe stared into his stormy eyes and sparks erupted all over her nerves.
“It’s good that I do not intimidate you, Loupe,” he whispered. “Because I want you to know you should never fear standing up to me.” His gaze dropped to her lips and his eyes darkened. Loupe’s heart pounded as he leaned in. “You should always feel free to say no…”
For a split second, Loupe wavered on a razor’s edge between surprise and unmistakable arousal. Her chest rose and fell with the speed of her breathing, straining the corset of her freshly washed and pressed garments. Her brain babbled away that the palace washers must have shrunk it because it held her ever so much tighter than before.
Etienne stared into her eyes, the grey of his pupils mesmerizing her the way falling snow sometimes did. His body trembled against her and somehow she knew that he was holding back, restraining himself with every ounce of his self-control. She wanted to know what he was fighting. She wanted to know what would happen if she gave him the permission he couldn’t bring himself to ask for…
The tension seeped out of her shoulders as inch by inch she relaxed. Etienne wouldn’t hurt her. She could trust him. Tentatively, she slid her hands up his shoulders. He released his grip on her biceps slowly, allowing her to wrap her arms around his neck.
That seemed to be the signal he was waiting for. Etienne’s control snapped and Loupe cried out as he crushed his body against her, claiming her mouth in a kiss that could have seared the flesh from her bones. His fingers dug into her ribs, holding her as if he would never let her go. Etienne kissed her like he was claiming her, as if he wanted the memory of this encounter to be burned in her memory forever. His licked at her lips, demanding she return his passion.
She moaned and parted her lips, eagerly tasting him as he slid his tongue into her mouth. He dropped his hands to grip her hips, pressing her harder against him. The hard length of him pressed against her hip and a gasp escaped her throat. She bucked, grinding against him. His response was instantaneous.
The kiss that had been intense before, became carnal. He tightened his hands on her hips and jerked her into the air. She wrapped her legs around his waist, instinctively holding herself up as he pressed them both into the tree at her back. He ground that hot, hard length against her, and a scorching heat followed its path between her parted thighs, through the material of her skirt.
Need grew inside her, impatient and insistent. She gripped his shoulder, wanting to do something to ease the tension. She felt alive, wild. She wanted to hold him closer, to drag her nails down his back and sink her teeth into the heated flesh so close to her mouth…
That thought fell over Loupe like a bucket of ice water, destroying the erotic haze. She pulled her mouth away and Etienne dropped his lips to her throat, alternating heavy kisses with delicate little nips at her tender skin. Pleasure washed over her, but now there was an edge of fear. The wildness inside her raged nearly out of control. For one hair-raising second she swore she could feel the wolf open its eyes inside her.
“Stop,” she choked. She dropped her hands to his shoulders and shoved, hard. “Stop!”
Etienne pulled back. His grey eyes were glazed over, still locked on her mouth. She pushed at him again, struggling to make him put her down. Fear gave her strength and she jerked her hips hard enough that he grunted and almost dropped her.
“I’m sorry,” he mumbled finally. He seemed to wake up, tension springing to his body and his eyes suddenly growing sharp. “Loupe, I’m sorry,” he repeated, setting her down on her feet. His hands trembled as he took them away from her hips. He stepped back and clenched and unclenched his fists.
“No, it’s all right, I just, I have to go.” Loupe knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t help it. How could she have been so stupid? Was it really worth it? Were a few kisses, a little pleasure, worth risking the life of the man who’d shown her more kindness than any human since her father had died? Her imagination fed her fear, painting a gruesome picture of the wolf tearing itself from her body and falling on Etienne like a ravenous monster. She could almost hear his screams, smell his blood, see his devastated body…
“I’ve upset you. Please, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Etienne held up a hand, pleading with her to calm down. Tears brimmed in Loupe’s eyes. She’d put that pain on his face, she’d led him on and now she was running away. She lowered her head, too miserable to think straight.
“I’m sorry,” she sobbed.
“Why are you crying? Loupe, please talk to me.” Etienne looked panicked now, and Loupe would have laughed if the situation weren’t so painful.
“No, it’s nothing,” she insisted, swiping at the tears streaming down her face as she kept backing away. “I’m just…sorry to be leaving the pups behind. I’ll miss them terribly.”
Etienne took a step toward her and she almost fell over when she tried to retreat faster. “You’re coming to visit them soon, aren’t you?” he insisted.
He tried to keep his tone light, but Loupe could see that he was fighting not to grab for her. She was upsetting him, worrying him, and she didn’t know how to fix it. All she knew was that she had to run. She had to get away from him, from the feelings he inspired in her…from the future he made her want even though she knew she could never have it.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
Then she turned and fled.
Chapter 6
Etienne stared after Loupe, his brain sluggish with heat and his pulse thundering out of control. He gripped the trunk of the tree with one hand, using every ounce of his self-control to keep from chasing her down. The rough bark dug into his fingertips, but the meager pain was a pathetic excuse for a distraction. He couldn’t look away from Loupe, could barely resist breaking into a run. It would take so little to catch her…
“Ahhh,” he snarled, forcing his gaze to the ground. He sucked in deep breaths of cool morning air, forcing the heat from his blood. He couldn’t feel his wolf, not like he used to, but that didn’t stop the beast’s hungers from holding him in a vice.
He’d tasted her, held her in his arms, felt the sweet heat of her arousal between her thighs. It hadn’t been enough.
He wanted to run, to catch her, to bring her to the ground and tear away the clothing that kept him from burying himself deep inside her. Blood pounded in his veins, making his aching cock throb with the pressure. He stifled a groan and closed his eyes. He opened them again immediately. Closing his eyes only made it easier to remember the feel of her lips on his, to get lost in the memory of how warm her body had been in his arms, his cock trapped between their clothed bodies…
“No wonder she ran, you fool,” he growled at himself. “What woman wants to be thrown down on the forest floor and taken like a beast?”
He punched the tree in a surge of self-loathing, cursing when the bark bit into his flesh. Blood flew from his wounds and he absentmindedly put his knuckles to his mouth and licked the blood off. The coppery flavor reminded him of just how long it’d been since he’d had a proper, fresh dinner. He licked at his knuckle again.
Catching what he’d just done, he dropped his hand in disgust. If Loupe would have looked back at just the right moment, that would have been the perfect image to scare her away from him for good.
Before Midnight (Book 1) (Blood Prince Series) Page 8