But isn’t that what you want? To scare her away from you for good? To send her into the arms of a man who can be the sort of husband she deserves? A HUMAN husband?
Forcing himself to wait until she’d had enough time to get into her cart and start for home, Etienne couldn’t get away from his thoughts. He might be human soon. As horrible as the thought was, what if Loupe was the silver lining? And what if he did find a loup garou in time? Did that really bar him so completely from taking Loupe for his wife?
Sinking down to sit at the foot of the tree, Etienne frowned. Somehow, somewhere, he had started to think of Loupe as a possible mate. When had it happened? And why?
He tapped a finger against his knee. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t always intended to marry someday. A human and a powerful pure-blooded werewolf like himself would produce a werewolf child, so he could have his pick of any willing young woman in his kingdom. Actually, he had always planned to marry, to settle down and have children. It was not just something he wanted for himself, it was something that would be expected of him as a ruler when his father passed on the crown. So why was he shying away from Loupe?
Because she’s sweet, and innocent, and if you were ever to reveal your true nature, you would frighten her away just as surely as you did today. Etienne sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. As much as he wanted Loupe, and he could admit now that he did want her, he couldn’t drag her into his world. He let his hand fall to the ground. A maiden as soft as Loupe would not adapt to a werewolf husband.
A cold little wet nose poked at his hand. Etienne looked down to find one of the wolf pups doing its best to squirm under his hand. Images of Loupe on the floor trying to teach the pups how to defend themselves from eagles flew into his head and he couldn’t help but smile.
“You are probably very spoiled,” he observed, relenting and petting the little furball. He sighed in resignation. “I hope for both our sakes she comes back to visit.”
He looked up, unable to stop himself from searching for some sign of Loupe. She was nowhere to be seen. He sighed. “I scared her off,” he murmured to the pup. “I talked of blood and violence and then I attempted to…” he trailed off glancing down at the pup. “Well, I behaved more like a wolf than a gentleman.”
He dropped his hand from petting the pup and stood. Sitting out here moping would do no one any good. He had a loup garou to find and he’d wasted enough time mourning Loupe.
He’d only taken a few steps toward the castle when he had an unsettling thought. He glanced back at the three pups, rolling around in the leaves just inside the forest.
These woods used to be the safest place in the kingdom. The creatures and societies beyond humans knew that the royal family of Sanguenay were werewolves and the villagers of this land had been afraid of loup garous long before they’d come. Outlawing the killing of wolves had let the population thrive, though Etienne’s family assured their numbers did not grow to become a problem. The presence of so many wolves, who may or not be just wolves, had kept many enemies at bay.
Not anymore. The attack last night had proven that. Word about Etienne’s…condition had obviously spread, despite their best attempts to keep it secret. The woods were no longer safe and if Etienne did not fix his “problem” soon, the kingdom would be next.
Whistling through his teeth, Etienne patted his thigh and stared at the wolf pups. They looked up at him, tilting their heads curiously. After a second they burst into a chorus of yip and took off after him. He would keep them in the palace for now, until he knew they would be safe outside. Until then, he absolutely refused to take the risk that Loupe might change her mind and show up only to find one, or more, of her precious pups dead.
And now if she wants to see them, she’ll have to come inside a devious little voice in his head whispered. He shoved his base intentions away as he made his way to his room.
He winced when he entered his chambers and found his mother waiting for him. She raised an eyebrow at the wave of wolf pups that spilled in behind him then turned her full attention to his face.
“Loupe left in quite a hurry,” she said casually.
Etienne sighed. She could try to sound casual all she wanted, but a mother’s opinion was never silent. And unfortunately, his mother had the nose of a wolf.
“Yes, she did. I hope her cart was ready for her, with the new horse?”
“It was. Though Loupe refused to take the new horse. She unfastened it and hooked up the horse she’d first brought with her. You only missed her leaving by a second or so.” The queen’s gaze sharpened. “She was crying, Etienne.”
There it was. “Mother, I swear I did not mean to scare her.”
“But you did scare her?”
He shoved a hand through his hair, unable to keep his mind from replaying the events of an hour ago. “I must have. She ran away from me and wouldn’t stay to tell me why.”
“Well, what were you doing when she first became frightened?”
Etienne did not want to have this conversation with his mother, but denying it would do him no good. He gritted his teeth. “I kissed her.”
“Just kissed?” his mother pressed.
“Oh, for the love of all that’s holy, I am not having this discussion with you, Mother!” Etienne’s patience snapped and he began to pace. “I didn’t deflower her in the forest, all right? I kissed her, but I’m not even sure that’s what scared her.”
“What else could it have been?”
His mother’s voice was so calm. Etienne didn’t feel calm. His nerves thrummed so tightly he was certain they were about to snap. He tried to quit pacing and faced his mother.
“We were having a discussion about whether it is better for a ruler to be loved or feared.”
“And you said feared.”
It wasn’t a question. Etienne nodded anyway.
The queen sighed. “Etienne, you have always been so black and white. I worry that you never truly found a balance with your beast.”
Etienne crossed his arms. “Of course I found a balance. You don’t see me raging about the palace, behaving as a beast, or out in the forest backing away from a battle?”
“But that is just it, my son, you have quarantined every speck of passion in your wolf. You allow none for your human self.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
His mother smiled at him and it was the smile a mother saved for her children. “Etienne, you have manners any mother would be proud to see in her son. You are kind and you are polite. I have rarely even heard you raise your voice.” She paused. “And then you shift to wolf form and you are fierce and powerful and you eliminate the enemy quickly and with no mercy.”
“You’re saying I should show our enemies mercy?” Etienne demanded. He couldn’t believe what his mother was saying. He’d been a good prince, a good heir. To hear her speak now sounded like he was a teenager again being lectured on “finding a balance.” He’d found his balance dammit.
“I am not saying that. But Etienne, humans get angry too. Humans have tempers and sometimes those tempers get the better of them. It’s unfortunate, but it’s natural. Even your father throws a royal tantrum now and again.” She shrugged. “But you repress it all. You save all of those emotions for your beast. And now you can’t.”
“You think my more violent tendencies are leaking over into my human self because my wolf self is getting weaker.” He thought about each word as he said it, weighing the truth in his mind.
His mother stood up. “I think that if you try to remember when you started concentrating more on making our enemies fear us and less on finding a wife, you’ll realize the change coincides with the witch’s blessing.”
Etienne stared at her, certain his dismay showed on his face. If what his mother said was true, if he was becoming…less of a gentleman as his wolf faded, then he had no business pursuing Loupe. He’d scared her once already, if he couldn’t find the “balance” his mother claimed he was missing, then it would only be
a matter of time before he scared her again. And next time it would be much worse.
“You and Father must search harder,” he said quietly. “Mother, I would do it myself if I could, but my senses are human now and I cannot shift until the full moon. You must find a loup garou.” Or I’ll never be able to ask Loupe to be my wife.
The last words remained unspoken, but the knowing look on his mother’s face told him she’d somehow heard them anyway.
“Etienne, we will find a way. Even if your father and I are unsuccessful, there is always the ball.”
Chapter 7
Three weeks. It had been three weeks since she’d left Etienne at the palace. Three weeks since he’d kissed her and she’d run away like a coward. No explanation, no goodbye, no nothing.
Loupe lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. She’d done everything she could think of to take her mind off Etienne. She’d scrubbed every inch of the house, swept every inch of the stable, cleaned every article of clothing, and weeded every corner of the garden. The only thing she hadn’t done was finish the skins waiting for her attention. And she couldn’t bring herself to do that. Not when all she could see when she looked at them were the wolf pups. Those tiny little balls of fluff that had brought so much joy into her life. Joy that she might never feel again.
A sudden sob escaped her throat and Loupe clapped a hand over her mouth. She missed the pups too. They’d been the closest she’d ever have to children and now they were gone, safe but far away from her. She knew Etienne would take care of them, but for some reason that thought only made her cry more. They could have taken care of them together.
Oh, yes, Loupe, you could have lived happily ever after, couldn’t you? Married the prince, moved into the palace, raised the pups. Right up until the first full moon when the beast would tear its way out of your flesh and eat your husband alive.
She sucked in a deep breath and held it. Crying wouldn’t change anything. It was what it was and there was no fairy godmother to make it any different.
The slam of the front door snapped Loupe out of her thoughts. She’d know that heavy hand anywhere. Wiping away her tears, she climbed off her bed and stumbled to the ladder. By the time she’d gone through the trapdoor and through the kitchen, her stepmother and stepsisters were already inside.
“Girls, go upstairs immediately and get dressed, there’s not a second to lose.”
Loupe frowned, remaining unseen in the doorway to the sitting room. Her stepmother was holding a note in her hand and staring at it intently. The envelope she held underneath it caught Loupe’s eye. She could just make out the edge of the royal seal.
Loupe stared at the envelope. She squashed the flare of hope that it was a letter to her. Etienne didn’t know where she lived. There was no way he could have known where to send such a letter. Still…
“Loupe!”
The harsh sound of her name on her stepmother’s tongue snapped Loupe out of her thoughts.
“Yes, Stepmother?”
“We are going out tonight and we must leave soon. Be sure to lock up behind us and don’t leave the house for any reason.”
Loupe frowned, confused. “But stepmother, you just arrived home. You’re going out so soon?”
She couldn’t help but glance down at the note still clutched in her stepmother’s iron grip. Madame Tessier looked down her nose at Loupe and narrowed her eyes. “What a nosey girl you are,” she sneered. “This is precisely why I have Madame LeBeau pick up our post while we’re gone. You probably would have opened the invitation and then kept it to yourself!”
“Invitation?” The word flew from Loupe’s lips before she could stop it. Her eyes widened as her stepmother’s sneer turned to a full glare. She swallowed hard.
“Yes,” Madame Tessier ground out finally. “Invitation. The prince is throwing a ball tonight and we have been invited.”
“I’m not going,” Loupe said immediately.
Her stepmother’s eyebrows shot up, her lips parting slightly. She stared at Loupe as if she’d grown a second head. “I don’t recall telling you that you could go,” she said slowly. She tilted her head. “Still, I am curious. What do you mean you’re not going?”
A thousand horrible thoughts flew through Loupe’s head. When had her brain so deserted her? If her stepmother were to suspect that Loupe had even seen the prince let alone talked to him, kissed him… They would find Loupe buried in a shallow grave alongside the loup garou.
Loupe tried to keep the emotion out of her voice as she finally gathered her wits enough to answer. “I have far too much work to do, Stepmother. I’m sure the prince will understand that I cannot abandon my duties for a night of frivolity.”
In seconds her stepmother had closed the short distance between them and grabbed her arm. She jerked her until Loupe had to meet her stare. Loupe’s throat constricted with fear at the intensity flickering in the older woman’s eyes. Her pale white hair was off her neck in a complicated hairdo that gave her an even more strict and imposing appearance. Despite her advanced years, a touch of blonde remained in the delicate strands, a hint at the pale yellow they’d once been. Oddly enough, Loupe looked a great deal like her stepmother. Except for the fact that her stepmother’s eyes were blue and Loupe’s were green, they could easily have passed as true mother and daughter.
If not for the hatred that is. Loupe had never known her mother, the poor woman having died during childbirth, but she could not imagine any woman looking at her child with the ice that was always in her stepmother’s visage.
“You will stay here,” Madame Tessier said quietly. “And you will clean and scrub until every inch of our home shines like crystal in the sunlight.” She glanced around at the spotless house and curled her lip in disgust. “This place is a pigsty. Clean it up!”
With a violent shove that sent Loupe sprawling to the floor in a heap, Madame Tessier turned and swept up the stairs. Loupe gathered herself as quickly as she could and fled to the kitchen. She practically fell through the trap door in her rush to get to her bed before the tears came. She threw herself on her blankets and sobbed.
A ball! Was fate truly so cruel? Tonight was the night of the full moon, the one night she couldn’t possibly go out. Even if she dared to disobey her stepmother, she couldn’t risk it. Not even for a chance to see Etienne, to dance with him…
A cacophony of noise exploded upstairs followed by the slam of the front door. Her stepfamily had left. Off to the ball. Tears burned her eyes.
“Argh!” Loupe cried out and punched her bed. What was wrong with her? Hadn’t she just minutes ago been thinking about how things could never work between her and Etienne? Hadn’t she been scolding herself that marriage would never be in the cards for her? What did it matter that there was a ball tonight? A ball the prince himself was throwing? A ball that would be romantic and beautiful and…perfect.
With one more growl of self-loathing anger, Loupe pulled herself together and sat up, angrily swiping the tears from her eyes. It was silly to allow herself to be so upset. She couldn’t change her life, not now.
For just a second, she let her traitorous thoughts carry her along a dreamlike path. She imagined what her life could become if she went to the ball, met with Etienne dressed like a respectable woman, instead of in a muddy peasant dress. He may have fallen madly in love with her, as she had with him the first moment she’d laid eyes on him.
A sigh escaped her lips as she thought of Etienne and his muscular shoulders tapering down to a lean waist. His grey eyes were like the clouds before a soft summer rain, his brown hair like warm chocolate. How she had loved wrapping her arms around his neck while those soft, perfect lips caressed her own…
A rustle caught her attention, tearing her out of her fantasy. She froze, her gaze darting over to a pile of furs. One of them moved.
A scream lodged in her throat. For the second time that month she was certain her nightmare was about to repeat itself. The wolf wasn’t dead.
“Merde!
”
The sound of the tiny voice cursing echoed in the room. Loupe paused, her fear momentarily receding. The sleek pale grey hide remained still. Now that she looked at it, it wasn’t even a complete carcass. It was a finished skin, just lying out waiting to be packaged. There was no way it could have moved on its own.
“Hello?” she called tentatively, feeling somewhat silly. There was no one there.
A tiny blue face peeked at her from over one of the furs. She squeaked in surprise.
“You! Come over here and help me, will you?”
Loupe stared, dumbfounded. It was a pixie. She slowly rose from the bed, peering over the packaging and fur. Sitting on the table was an honest-to-goodness pixie. He looked to be about 8 inches high with a blue face and green hair. He’d tugged the pelt over his lap. Other than that and a belt, it appeared he was naked.
Before Midnight (Book 1) (Blood Prince Series) Page 9