Hailee gave her a pointed look. “Because you just—”
Not knowing why, Alison interrupted Hailee and suddenly blurted out, “I’m pregnant!”
“What? You’re… pregnant? Oh my gosh!” Hailee squeezed her tight. Her voice went to almost a whisper. “Congratulations, Ali.”
“Yeah. Well, I’m still getting used to it.” She didn’t feel as happy as her friend seemed. She hadn’t felt excited at all yet. I am going to have a baby. I should be happy, I should be elated. Why aren’t I?
“What do you mean? You’re going to have a baby.” Hailee sat down, scooting her chair closer to Alison. She shoved the magazines to the side and with a look of concern, focused her attention on Alison. “Shouldn’t we be shopping and planning? You’ll need new clothes and furniture for the nursery and—”
“Whoa, slow down, Hail. I just found out, and honestly, I don’t know what to think yet.” Alison pushed back warm tears that threatened to fall.
Well what does Kaden think about it?”
Alison gave her a blank stare.
“Have you told him? I mean, it is Kaden’s, right?” Hailee toned down the excitement.
Alison couldn’t speak. How could her friend think it might be anyone else’s? But that wasn’t what upset her the most. Tears welled up in her eyes and a lump closed her throat. What if Kaden doesn’t want the baby? I don’t want to lose him.
“Right. Of course it’s Kaden’s. I didn’t mean… Oh honey.” Hailee hugged her again. “It’ll be okay.”
“I’m having a baby that I hadn’t planned on. That Kaden hadn’t planned on. How is it going to be okay?” Her words sounded bitter and harsh.
“Just trust me. It will. He’s a good guy, you know that.”
A good guy who apparently didn’t do commitment.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Kaden
His phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text message from Ali. He’d been thinking about her all day and missed holding her in his arms. I hope she’s feeling better.
He’d been thinking more and more about labeling this. Whatever it was they were doing. He knew his feelings went deeper than just liking her. But never having it this bad for someone, he didn’t know what he was supposed to do next. He wanted to figure it out, because he couldn’t stand the idea of her being upset. If she needed a label, he’d label them.
Maybe they should talk about moving in together. Then he could spend every day with her, every night. After all, she liked him in her bed, and he liked being there. He didn’t like being apart from her. His bed was cold and lonely without her.
Ali: You busy later today?
Hearing from Ali always made his day. The girl had the beauty of an angel, with drop dead sexy added in. Her text was a nice surprise. He tilted his phone so he had privacy from the other guys, and typed in his response. Maybe today was just the time to talk about what he was thinking.
Kaden: My day is cleared for you, doll. What did you have in mind?
Ali: Early evening? Meet me at The Pink Ribbon Cupcakery at 7.
Kaden: Want to do dinner?
Ali: Let’s decide that after we meet. Okay?
Staring at the phone for a moment, he wasn’t sure what to say. Odd response. Maybe she still isn’t feeling well.
Kaden: Whatever you want. Looking forward to it. Meet you there at 7. Miss you cutie and can’t wait to see you.
No response from her was again, odd, but maybe she was busy with a dog or customer.
A rumble raged through his stomach. It was necessary to take care of his hunger before he thought too much on this. His worry didn’t disappear; he just displaced it till later.
It was six forty-five when he pulled up to the curb, and he was early. Ali was already sitting at a corner table in the neighborhood bakery, The Pink Ribbon Cupcakery. A white cupcake with pink icing and sprinkles sat before her. He watched her for a moment from the car. Warmth filled his heart at the sight of her; she was the definition of beauty.
Ali picked at the cupcake icing with a fork and sipped at a milkshake. Her blond hair was highlighted by the fluorescent lights, making it look almost white.
Maybe they’d skip dinner tonight and just go back to her place. It was closer than his. It hadn’t been that long, but he wanted her in his arms. Seeing her lips wrapped around that pink straw, he realized how much he actually missed her and didn’t want to wait much longer.
The bell rang as he opened the glass door, causing her to look up. An odd expression crossed her face. It wasn’t excitement, or lust. Those looks he was used to. This one he’d never seen before. It made him hesitate.
Making a stop at the counter, he ordered a mocha fudge cupcake with a chocolate expresso ganache and a plain vanilla milkshake. It was a chocolate kind of night.
Kaden smiled as he approached her table. “Hey there, dollface. Missed you.” He leaned in to give her a kiss, but she turned her face at the last minute, and he got her cheek instead. A cold feeling niggled in his gut. Everything about this felt wrong and uncomfortable.
“Hi Kaden. Glad you could make it.” She ran her finger over the cupcake icing before putting the icing covered finger to her lips.
“For you, always.” He still couldn’t read the look on her face, and it was starting to dig at his stomach. Something wasn’t right with her. “Everything okay, doll?”
“Yeah, sure.” She shrugged and took a sip of her milkshake. “How are you today?”
“I was missing you. And I’m happy you wanted to meet up.” His one-liners didn’t seem to be working on her. Something definitely wasn’t right. When he met her, she would always melt under his charm; tonight she wasn’t melting. Not even close. He wasn’t even hitting lukewarm with her.
He cleared his throat and changed his tone to serious. “I’ve been busy. With Dom moving out, I’ve been moving things around in the loft, trying to adjust to life on my own. It’s a big living space for just one person.”
A small chuckle ended his sentence. It had taken him some time to get used to sharing an apartment with Dom, so it was quite humorous that Kaden was having such a hard time adjusting to life on his own. That, and because deep down, he knew he’d love to have Alison there. All the time. Maybe now was the right time to bring this up.
He gave her a little smile. “I’m always up for company. Or maybe it’s time for a new roommate?”
Ali’s expression didn’t change. Obviously, she didn’t find his hinting as amusing as he did. Did she miss the hint altogether? Or else she didn’t like what the hint implied. What if she hates the idea of moving in with me? That chill grew inside him.
She kept her eyes down on the table and drew invisible circles on it with her finger. “I’ve been watching the games. You guys look good.”
“Yeah, I guess, not too bad.” What if she’s about to break up with me?
Quickly she changed the subject, her look still dark. “Kaden, can I ask you something?”
“Sure, doll.”
“We’re good together, aren’t we?”
“Absolutely.” Why is she asking me this? I bet it’s that damn marriage thing.
“And it’s just you and me?”
“Ali, I’m not sure what you’re getting at or why you look so concerned. But we’re very good together and you know that you’re my girl. My only girl. You didn’t have to meet me at the cupcake shop to verify this. You’re the only girl that I want. End of story. I like the way things are, and I like us together. I want more of that, actually.”
“Okay.” She took a long breath in before continuing. “Look, I know you aren’t looking to get tied down. So don’t worry about that…”
“Hailee…” He grumbled.
“No. Well, maybe she said something, but everyone knows you aren’t the marrying kind. That’s all.” Her face was now white and pale.
He didn’t understand why she was getting so upset over this rumor. Didn’t she know him? “Woah, first of all, it was a stupid rumor that st
arted a long time ago. I started it myself to shut down an overzealous groupie, but it’s complete bullshit. Maybe at one time it worked for me, so I didn’t do anything to put it to rest. But with you, Ali… I don’t think you understand what I’m thinking when it comes to you. I really like you, Ali. I told you, it’s only you that I want. While I’m not ready for marriage right this minute, it’s not out of the question if it’s right.”
Ali’s expression didn’t change. She didn’t seem fazed by his outpouring of emotion when it came to her. Isn’t that what she wanted to hear? Their being exclusive was as close as he had ever come to commitment; shouldn’t that have been at least a little impressive?
Ali looked at the ceiling, then back down at the table and her hardly eaten cupcake. After what seemed like forever, she finally spoke. “I’m late.”
“Late? For what? If you need to be somewhere, I can drive you. But I was hoping we could go back to your place—”
Rolling her eyes, she sighed. “No. Kaden. My period is late. So I took a pregnancy test, and shocker, I’m pregnant.”
She was so calm as she spoke the words. His heart plummeted to his stomach. Pregnant? “But aren’t you on the pill?”
He didn’t mean it to sound accusing, but judging by the way her eyes narrowed, that was obviously how she took it. Isn’t that what the pill is for?
“And weren’t you supposed to be wearing a condom?” Her voice was snarky, and he didn’t blame her. He deserved that.
Yes, they had gotten comfortable together. Pregnant? But how? There may have been a time or two that I didn’t because of where we were or… no. There was no good reason for me not to have wrapped it up. If anyone is to blame, maybe it is me.
We’re having a baby. A baby. Our baby. He couldn’t help but stare at her gorgeous face, so innocent yet so beautiful. Would I be a good dad?
After losing his own father not long ago, who would he turn to for advice? Would he ever measure up to the man his own dad was? Kaden was quiet, while all these thoughts filtered through his brain at a million miles an hour. Maybe he should’ve been saying them aloud, but he was caught up in trying to digest it all.
“Silence?” Alison was staring at him, her lips quivering at the edges. “Okay. I was afraid that’s how you were going to react. Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to let you know what we, I mean what I, was dealing with here.” Her face had dropped, and her voice was sullen and sad.
Wait, what?
Kaden wanted to explain, but the words weren’t forming. His mouth was dry. His throat was suddenly numb. He was still in shock at her announcement. I am going to be a dad. A little baby that’s part me and part her…
Sadness formed in her eyes; they glistened with the unshed tears. He tried to take a breath, but his throat started to close up and his heart was pounding. He wanted to tell her it would be okay. That he would be by her side.
But words were still not forming, and the longer he waited, the worse things got. He was messing this all up. He tried to reach out to her, but his chest tightened and it hurt to breathe as if he’d taken a puck to the upper body. Wait. Is this what a panic attack feels like? Am I having a fucking panic attack?
“Okay, well… Right.” She didn’t look surprised at his dumbfounded response, just hurt. “I won’t be looking for anything from you, so don’t worry about that. I just wanted to let you know.” She stood up and looked in the direction of the door. “You know where to find me.”
“Wait.” Kaden forced the rasping word out. He gently grabbed at her arm, keeping her by the table. Her rigid body language conveyed she was annoyed. But her eyes were soft and wide as he stared at her. “Are you going to keep it? The baby?”
Apparently, that’s not what she was hoping he would say, and it was obviously the wrong thing. He knew it as soon as the words were out.
Her shoulders squared off, her lips tightly pursed and her eyes turned into little slits. “I can’t believe you would ask that!”
“I only asked if you—”
“I know what you asked! I just can’t believe that you would.” She pulled her arm out of his grasp and quickly made her way to the exit.
Kaden’s head was spinning and he gasped for air watching Ali walked out the door. What did I say? Confused and hurt, he stared at the partially eaten vanilla cupcake on the table. He’d only asked if she was going to keep the baby. What was so wrong with that? His chest squeezed again. The thought of her giving it up, or worse…
The reality of what just happened was still sinking in. A baby? She hadn’t given him time to absorb it all. She had just dropped the bomb and walked away.
And her not answering his question didn’t make him feel any better about things. He didn’t know her stance on abortion, and it wasn’t something they had ever discussed. Honestly, up until now he hadn’t given it much thought. But considering they were talking about his baby right now, he hoped to hell she wasn’t considering getting rid of it.
They needed to talk about this. He had to know what she was thinking. He rushed to the door, and hurried out to the sidewalk. But she was nowhere to be found. Sure, he could go ring her buzzer. Because that’s obviously where she went.
He did just that, but she didn’t answer. Not knowing what else to do, he resorted to technology. When he tried her cell, it went straight to voicemail. He needed her to talk to him about this. There was so much he needed to say.
Kaden: Ali. Can’t we talk more about this? I want to talk about this. Please.
Alison: No. Please leave.
Kaden: Ali, talk to me. Please.
The messages stopped after that, and gazing up at her loft, he watched her turn off the light in her living room. Maybe it was for the best that she wouldn’t talk to him right now. So many questions clouded his mind, but he also needed to let this news settle.
His shoulders drooped as he walked back to his car. He probably could’ve handled that better. No, he definitely could’ve handled that better. The fact that he sat silent hadn’t helped his case. Asking her if she was going to keep the baby wasn’t his finest moment either. I’m sure there were better ways to word that. But his brain was still numb over the shock of the announcement.
In his head, he’d been trying to absorb and understand, but in reality it looked like he just didn’t care. I care, that’s for damn sure. I was ready to ask her to move in with me. He was ready for that commitment. She is having my baby. Maybe I should consider marriage sooner rather than later. Isn’t that what people do?
But now she was mad or hurt, and he could’ve blown this all to hell. He had to figure out a way to fix this.
On his drive home, he stopped at a bookstore and picked out about a half dozen books on pregnancy. He wanted to learn everything he could about what Alison was dealing with. Pulling back onto the street, he passed a sports store, and a Renegades jersey caught his eye. He didn’t dare go in, not being in the mood to deal with all the stares and fans, but it gave him an idea.
Once at home, he piled the pregnancy books on his coffee table and opened his laptop. After looking up the Renegades team store, he went directly to the infant jerseys. What size do you get a newborn? After looking over all the sizes and trying to decipher what each meant, and also looking up how big babies are when they are born, he decided on a size. Hitting “buy” he bought his very first baby item. A Renegades O’Conner Jersey.
His chest warmed, and he felt as if he was beaming with pride at his purchase. Celebrating with a cold beer, he looked around the kitchen, imagining a high chair next to the table. Imagining him and Alison, eating breakfast together, and watching their baby toss food onto the floor. Then it hit him. It was more than the right thing to do. Marrying Alison and becoming a family was what he wanted more than anything.
Taking a walk through the large, and quite empty, loft, he knew it was the perfect size for a little family. A family of three. Dom’s old room was empty. It would make a nice nursery. His room was big enough for the master b
edroom. There was plenty of room for all the baby things they would need. Plenty of room for a family.
Now he just needed to fix things with Ali.
CHAPTER NINE
Alison
“Hailee, it was a disaster. I mean, I was afraid that was how he would react. He’s a hockey player.” Alison sat at Hailee’s dining room table and recounted her conversation with Kaden from just a day ago. The same bridal magazines were still spread over the table top, along with some new ones.
“Hey, watch it. My soon-to-be-husband is one of those hockey players you’re referring to. Plus, look at the other family men on the team. They aren’t all bad. And I don’t think Kaden is one of the bad ones. I think you’re misunderstanding his response.”
“Did you hear what I just told you? He asked if I was going to keep it!”
Hailee blinked. “What’s so wrong with that?”
“Because… he should know me! Of course I’m going to keep our baby!”
Hailee sat next to Alison and took her hand. “Did he ask you to get rid of it?”
Alison lowered her eyes to the magazine in front of her. “No.”
Hailee squeezed her hand. “Then maybe he just wanted to be sure. You haven’t been acting like yourself either, and maybe he was worried you weren’t going to keep it.”
“Or maybe he was hoping I would offer to get rid of it.”
“Ali… I just don’t think he’s like that.”
“You weren’t there. He freaked out!” Maybe she was being overly dramatic, and maybe it was the damn hormones; either way he’d hurt her with his lack of response. He could’ve been happy and picked her up in his arms and celebrated, or he could’ve been pissed and yelled. But he’d done nothing. Not one thing.
“I wouldn’t exactly call that a ‘freak-out’. More like a non-response. Plus, how did you want him to react? You know how you felt when you found out—you were shocked, probably speechless. Well for guys, it’s ten times worse.” Hailee released Alison’s hand and stood. She walked around the table and straightened some magazines into a pile. “From what you’re telling me, I do think you misread his reaction. And when you ran out on him, you didn’t give him a chance to respond. Now you need to give him time.”
SHOOTOUT SAVE (The Renegades Series Book 6) Page 6