by Brian James
Table of Contents
Title Page
Dedication
Copyright Page
Chapter 1 - Shipshape!
Chapter 2 - Ahoy at Sea!
Chapter 3 - Ship Leave
Chapter 4 - Setting Sail!
Chapter 5 - Vacation at Sea
Chapter 6 - Danger, Dead Ahead!
Chapter 7 - In a Fix
Chapter 8 - Stuck in a Rut
Chapter 9 - SOS
Chapter 10 - Safe at Last
For furry pirate pal Mitzie!—BJ
To my parents, for teaching me how
to avoid life’s shipwrecks.—JZ
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Text copyright © 2009 by Brian James. Illustrations copyright © 2009 by Jennifer Zivoin.
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Chapter 1
Shipshape!
“Broken barnacles!” I hollered. “This is going to take forever.”
There were loose boards sticking up all over the deck of the Sea Rat. We’d been ordered to fix them by our teacher, Rotten Tooth.
Rotten Tooth was always telling us that those chores he always ordered us to do were Pirate School lessons. Sometimes, I wasn’t so sure. But Rotten Tooth wasn’t only our teacher. He was also the first mate of the Sea Rat. Plus, he was the meanest pirate to ever sail the seas. That meant we had to listen to him or we’d be shark bait.
“I guess we better get started,” I said. “Orders be orders.”
“Arrr! I’d like to order Rotten Face to walk the plank!” Aaron grumbled.
“Arrr? That would only get us into trouble,” Gary said. He was my best mate at Pirate School, and he didn’t like getting into trouble.
“Aye, let’s get to work,” Vicky said with a groan. Then she picked up a hammer and started hammering.
Aaron covered his ears with both hands. “Arrr! Do you have to make such a racket?” he shouted. “You’re going to wake every fish in the sea!”
Vicky stopped hammering and huffed.
She was Aaron’s twin sister. They both had the same dark hair and dark eyes. Only, her eyes got darker and madder whenever Aaron complained.
“You heard Rotten Tooth,” she said. “We have to make sure every nail on the whole entire deck is hammered in all the way.”
“Aye, I heard him!” Aaron told her. “But he didn’t say you had to be so loud about it!”
Vicky stomped her foot. Then she made a grumpy face. “Well, Captain Big Mouth, hammering is noisy business!” she told her brother.
“Aye,” Inna said. “Plus, it’s yucky business!”
Inna stood up and looked at her dress. It was all dirty where she had been kneeling on the grimy deck. That made her steaming mad! She was the only pirate kid in the world who hated getting dirty.
“Aye, and ouchy business, too!” Gary said after he hammered his thumb by mistake. I shook my head and tried not to giggle. Sometimes Gary could be one clumsy pirate!
“Arrr, it’s not so bad,” I said, trying to lift their sails. I didn’t like it when my mates moaned and groaned. “Besides,” I said, “taking care of the ship is also very important business.”
“Aye?” Vicky asked.
“Aye.” I nodded. “It says so in the pirate code.” I’d lived on a pirate ship all nine and three-quarters years of my life, so I knew all about the pirate code. “It says every pirate should take care of their ship just like they’d take care of a baby.”
My mates made oohs and aahs and went back to work. I was hammering nails by the railing when I saw another ship sailing on the horizon.
“Great sails!” I said, and pointed at the ship.
My mates rushed over and took a peek. We didn’t see many other ships on the open seas.
“Arrr! Do you think it’s a pirate ship?” Inna asked.
“Arrr! Do you think it’s a rival pirate ship?” Gary asked.
Inna GULPED!
She liked rival pirates even less than she liked getting dirty!
“Let’s see,” I said. I took my spyglass out of my coat pocket and spied on the other ship. “It’s a pirate ship, all right,” I said. I could tell by the flag.
“A good pirate ship or a bad pirate ship?” Inna asked.
I looked for a name on the side of the ship.
Then it was my turn to gulp! My timbers started shaking and shivering when I read the name. “It’s called the Bone Rattler,” I said.
Inna and Gary DOUBLE GULPED because that was one scary name.
But Aaron and Vicky didn’t gulp at all. In fact, they started jumping around and clapping!
“The Bone Rattler is the ship we were on before we came to Pirate School,” Vicky explained.
“Blimey! That sure is a spooky name,” Gary said.
“Aye! When I’m a pirate captain, there’s no way I’ll give my ship a spooky name,” Inna said. “I’m going to call my ship the Pretty Sea Princess.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Arrr! Let’s go tell Captain Stinky Beard!” Vicky said. “Maybe we can change course to meet them.”
“Aye,” we all agreed. Then we raced off to find the cap’n and tell him the good news. It sure beat hammering all those nails!
Chapter 2
Ahoy at Sea!
“Ahoy, me lil’ shipmates,” Captain Stinky Beard said when we raced into his quarters.
“Ahoy, right back,” I said.
He took one look at our excited faces and asked what was going on. But we were all too out of breath to tell him. So Inna grabbed his hand and pulled him over to the window instead.
“Sink me!” Captain Stinky Beard said. Then he smiled real wide. “It’s me old muck mate Captain Dagger Dan’s ship,” he said.
“Aye,” Vicky said.
“Aye, and our old muck parents’ ship, too!” Aaron said.
Captain Stinky Beard rush
ed out onto the deck. “Man the sails and turn the ship about,” Captain Stinky Beard ordered. The crew got to work, and soon we were heading right for the Bone Rattler.
Aaron and Vicky started dancing around even though dancing wasn’t very piratey. But they couldn’t help it. They were too excited to see their mom and dad.
“Arrr, I can’t wait to show off all the stuff we’ve learned!” Aaron said.
“What do you mean by wait? You’re always showing off!” Vicky reminded him.
Aaron crossed his arms. “Yeah, but this time I have new stuff to show off,” he said. “Like my swashbuckling skills!” Then he started leaping around and swinging his arms everywhere. He was so busy goofing around that he didn’t see Rotten Tooth coming up the galley stairs.
BANG!
Aaron buckled Rotten Tooth right in the gut!
“ARRR!” Rotten Tooth growled through his green teeth.
“Arrr, I was just p-practicing,” Aaron stuttered.
“I thought I ordered ye mangy pollywogs to repair the deck,” Rotten Tooth barked.
Before we could answer, Captain Stinky Beard approached. Lucky for us, the cap’n was the boss of Rotten Tooth. Plus, he thought we were shipshape pirate kids and he didn’t like it when Rotten Tooth bullied us around.
“I ordered our little shipmates to take the day off from lessons,” Captain Stinky Beard explained.
“Aye?” Rotten Tooth asked.
“Aye!” the cap’n said. Then he pointed out to sea at the Bone Rattler. “Avast, we’re getting visitors today.”
Rotten Tooth took one glance and then . . . he smiled!
I couldn’t believe my eyes!
Rotten Tooth never, ever smiled.
“Arrr, is he feeling icky sicky?” Gary asked.
“Aye, he must be!” I whispered.
“Hogwash!” Aaron said. “Rotten Head is probably just happy to see his old sea pal, Peg Leg Pedro. He’s the first mate on the Bone Rattler.”
I reached under my pirate hat and scratched my head. “Aye?” I asked. “I didn’t know Rotten Tooth had friends.”
“Aye, it’s a true fact,” Vicky said.
“Aye! Peg Leg’s the one who warned us not to make Rotten Tooth angry,” Aaron added.
“Humpf !” Inna snorted. “If he warned you about Rotten Guts, how come you’re always getting us in trouble?”
“Because his brain is waterlogged, that’s why!” Vicky said.
We all laughed at that. Aaron was too excited to argue.
Once both ships were sailing side by side, two pirates came aboard the Sea Rat. One of them had black hair and a long black beard. He even wore a black hat with a dagger on it.
“That’s Captain Dagger Dan,” Vicky whispered.
“Aye, and that’s Peg Leg Pedro,” Aaron said. He pointed to a shorter pirate with one wooden leg.
Two more pirates came onto our ship after them. Only these pirates didn’t look like strangers. One looked like Aaron, and the other looked like Vicky. They even wore the same red-and-white striped outfits. They looked exactly like my mates, only these pirates were grown up all the way.
“AVAST!” Vicky shouted. “It’s Mom and Dad!”
Aaron and Vicky raced off. Their parents scooped them up into a giant hug. When they put them back on the deck, Vicky and Aaron couldn’t stand still. They ran around in circles, jumped up and down, and climbed on their parents like a pair of crazy monkeys!
“Arrr! Looks like Pirate School has tamed these two rascals,” Captain Dagger Dan said when he saw Aaron and Vicky.
My eyes went all big, and my mouth fell open.
I looked at Gary and Inna. Their eyes were open real big, too!
“Blimey!” Inna said. “I wonder what they were like before.”
“AYE!” Peg Leg Pedro said. Then he patted Aaron and Vicky on the head.
“These runts were as wild as a storm!”
“Well, we be awfully glad ye sent them here,” Captain Stinky Beard said. “These shipmates have saved our tails more than once.”
Rotten Tooth grumbled, but he couldn’t say anything because it was the truth. We’d saved the ship a bunch of times.
“Arrr, I’m glad I came up with the idea to send them here,” Aaron and Vicky’s dad said.
“Arrr! It was my idea,” their mom said.
“Was not.”
“Was too!”
“Arrr, not only do they look like Aaron and Vicky,” I whispered to Gary, “they also act like them.”
“Aye!” Gary agreed.
As the ships sailed on, Aaron and Vicky took turns swapping tales with their parents. I listened as they told them all about our adventures at Pirate School. I liked those stories the best because I was always in them!
Chapter 3
Ship Leave
“ARRR! That be one whale of a tale,” Captain Dagger Dan growled. He’d been listening to Vicky tell her parents about the time we saved the Sea Rat from a cursed treasure. “Ye wouldn’t be yanking yer old captain’s timbers, would ye?”
Vicky shook her head. “No, sir! It’s a true whale tale!”
Dagger Dan didn’t look so sure. He made his eyes go real small, and his mouth curled into a frown. Then he pointed at Aaron and Vicky. “Arrr, it wouldn’t be the first time ye two muck mates told a fib,” he said.
Inna marched over to him and crossed her arms. “Arrr! It’s the whole truth,” she huffed. “And I NEVER fib, so there!”
I shook my head. The tiniest bit of slime made Inna scream. But she wasn’t afraid of big pirates!
Captain Dagger Dan tugged on his black beard and stared at Inna with angry eyes. I thought for sure he was going to make shark bait out of her! But before he could say anything, Peg Leg Pedro started laughing.
“Arrr! That’s one tough little pup,” Peg Leg said.
“Aye,” Inna said with a big smile. “Tough and pretty!”
“Aye, but mostly tough,” Gary said. “She bops me on the head at least once a day!”
Inna made a frowny face. “I wouldn’t have to bop you at all if you weren’t such a blunder head.”
All of a sudden, Captain Dagger Dan roared with laughter. “Okay, I believe you,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to get bopped on the head.” Then he turned to Captain Stinky Beard and got all whispery. Captain Stinky Beard got all whispery right back.
I tried to hear what they were saying. It was no use.
As soon as they were done whispering, both captains turned back to us.
“Attention!” Captain Stinky Beard ordered.
Me and my mates lined up.
“Arrr, how would ye mates like to go on an away mission?” Captain Stinky Beard asked us.
“Blimey!” I shouted. “Only real brave pirates get to go on away missions!”
“Aye,” Dagger Dan agreed. “And I would like ye brave pirates to spend one week on the Bone Rattler and prove yer guff.”
“Aye? You mean like a test?” Gary asked.
“Aye!” Captain Stinky Beard said. “Do ye think yer ready?”
“Aye, aye!” we all shouted. Then we gave both of them a salute.
“Then it’s all set,” Captain Stinky Beard said. “Ye lot will join the crew of the Bone Rattler. In one week, both ships will dock at port and we’ll take ye back aboard to see how ye faired.”
“Yippee!” we cheered. We couldn’t wait to prove what great pirates we were.
“Arrr, now go grab yer packs and be ready to board as soon as we raise anchor!” Captain Dagger Dan ordered.
“Double aye, aye!” we said.
Then we gave our pirate cheer.
“SWASHBUCKLING, SAILING, FINDING TREASURE, TOO! BECOMING PIRATES IS WHAT WE WANT TO DO!”
“That’s the spirit, mateys!” Peg Leg Pedro bellowed.
“Aye,” Rotten Tooth grumbled. “Just be sure not to let me down,” he warned.
It sure was going to be nice not having him as our teacher for a week!
Chapter 4
/>
Setting Sail!
“Arrr, I think we made a wrong turn,” Gary said once we reached our guest quarters on the Bone Rattler.
“Aye! No pirate said anything about having to sleep in this dingy place,” Inna said.
I took a look around.
The room had no portholes, and the bunks were covered with slimy gunk. I even had to pinch my nose because it smelled the teeniest bit like fish guts. “Aye,” I said. “I think this might be a bathroom.”
Just then, Aaron and Vicky came running into the quarters. They tossed their pillows onto the grimy bunks. Then they looked around and gave us a big smile.
“Arrr! Can you believe we get to spend a whole week on the Bone Rattler?” Aaron asked us.
“Aye!” Vicky said. “Plus, the cap’n gave us the best room on the ship!”
“Blimey! This is the best room on the ship?” Inna asked.
“Aye,” Aaron said. “Pretty shipshape, huh?”
Gary took off his glasses and wiped them. After he put them back on, he took another peek around. “Arrr, I’m not sure Aaron knows what ‘shipshape’ means,” he said to me.
“Aye,” I said. “I’m not sure any pirate aboard does! The whole ship is rickety and rackety.”
“Aye!” Inna said. “It’s a miracle this pile of bones can even float!”
“It’s a true fact,” I said. “There are loose boards on every deck, and the galley stairs are even missing steps. Gary tripped and tumbled three times on the way down! Plus, the entire ship is even dirtier than a pile of dishes after a feast of seaweed slop!”
“Hogwash!” Aaron said, and waved his hand in the air. “Besides, none of that matters! This hunk of junk is the fastest ship on the seas.”
“Aye,” Vicky agreed. “Captain Dagger Dan might not run a tight ship, but it still sails, and that’s all that counts.”
I scratched my head and wrinkled my nose. “Mayhap,” I said. “But I’m just not so sure it’s a safe ship.”
“Don’t be such a worry whale,” Aaron said.
“Aye, this week’s going to be smooth sailing!” Vicky said.