Saturday Morning

by Lauraine Snelling

  she typed.

  Andy clicked Save Draft, Send, and then opened the message again, made changes so that it would be personal to Camden, and then repeated the process one more time for Morgan. If she’d blind-copied the other two, they would have been offended. Ah, the games a mother must play, on e-mail, no less.

  She sent business messages into the files designated for them and ignored the rest of the messages, promising herself more time online when she got home. She clicked off before any of her children could respond. She had a lot to do to get ready and didn’t want to answer a bunch of family questions.

  Martin still hadn’t come home by bedtime, and her eyes were no longer focusing on the book she was reading. She closed the book with a snap, set it on the table next to the bed, and turned out the light. “Good night, Fluffy.” She heard the cat purring from his bed on the floor.

  Martin arrived home sometime after midnight, packed, and climbed into bed. He was up at five, and while she might have enjoyed another hour’s sleep, she decided to give him a wifely send-off by fixing him a nice breakfast.

  He looked tired, but who wouldn’t be with only four hours’ sleep? She couldn’t imagine that he really enjoyed traveling from city to city. He’d told her in the past that he never saw anything besides the airport, the hotel, the coffee shop, and the office. He read his reports in the cab on the way to wherever he was going, and it was dark by the time he got back to the hotel.

  Years ago Andy had struggled with the fear that her husband might be unfaithful and that was the reason for all his traveling, but there had never been any hint or sign of impropriety on his part. His mistress was his work, and how could she ever fight against that?

  Andy stared out at the Bay when she’d finished the dishes. The rising sun kissed the spires of the Golden Gate Bridge, tinting them gold. Another beautiful day on the Bay. She was sorry to miss it. It was raining in Medford, according to her weather check.

  She looked up at the clock, and at the same time a horn beeped. “There’s your cab,” she said.

  Martin took a last sip of coffee, got up, and bussed her lightly on the lips. “I’m sorry. I really am. I love you, Andy.”

  She smiled and kissed him back. “I love you too. Have a safe trip.” She followed him to the door. “Fluffy is going to the Pampered Pet. I’ll leave you the number to call when you get back. They’ll deliver him.” The phone rang behind her. She waved him off and went back to the kitchen.

  “Hi Andy, this is Clarice.”

  “Hi, how are you? You sound stuffed up.”

  “Roger just took Hope to the hospital in an ambulance.” Clarice sniffed again.

  Oh, dear God, help. Do you think she’ll be all right? What can I do?”

  “Other than pray, nothing at the moment.” Clarice blew her nose. “Pardon me.” Her voice wore the sheen of tears. “She was bleeding pretty heavy.”

  “Are you going to the hospital?”

  “No, I’m needed here.”

  “I’ll be there in an hour. Maybe I can do something to help you.” Andy hung up, closed her eyes, and prayed harder than she had ever prayed in her life. Then she called and cancelled Fluffy’s pickup and her flight. Lord, save that baby, please, please.

  “Hang in there, honey.” Roger gripped her hand. The paramedics had tried to keep him from riding in the ambulance, but he’d forced his way in.

  “The baby—I don’t want to lose the baby.”

  “I know.” His eyes told her he was scared too.

  Hope felt his tears wet her hand. An IV drip had been started, and a blood pressure cuff squeezed her arm.

  “You’re going to be all right.” The young female EMT smiled at her with reassuring calm.

  “It’s the baby I’m worried about,” Hope said back to her.

  “How far along are you?”

  “The sonogram showed about three months.”

  “And that was when?”

  “Just last week.”

  “Are you in any pain?”

  “No. The cramping has stopped.” She clung to her husband’s hand. “Does that mean the baby is gone?”

  “No, not necessarily.”

  Hope covered her abdomen with her free hand. “Please, baby, want to live.” The siren bleeped as they pulled to a stop. Hope could see the emergency signs out the window.

  “Okay now, we’re going to take you in,” the EMT said. “Mr. Benson, you can carry the IV bag. Keep it a couple feet or so above her.”

  The doors swung open, and away they went. Hope saw doorways, walls, and the ceiling whiz by; the wheels of the gurney clattered; and Roger kept reminding her to hang in there.

  It’s not me I’m worried about Please, God, please.

  They stopped. “I’m sorry, but you can’t go any farther.” The woman’s sharp voice penetrated the fog Hope floated in.

  Roger didn’t argue. Hope looked up to see him hand over the IV bag, and then he bent over her.

  “I love you, Hope Benson. You are more important to me than anyone or anything on this earth.” He kissed her quickly, and then the gurney whipped through the open doors.

  She must have answered questions, but later she didn’t remember what they’d been. The next time she came fully awake, she was in a regular hospital room, and Roger was sitting in a chair beside the bed, holding her hand.

  “Hey there,” he said softly as if they were in church.

  “The baby?” she asked, her anxiousness making her sound almost breathless.

  He beamed at her, his laugh lines deepening to furrows. “He or she is doing just fine. It must be a tough little kid to cling so hard to life. I think the doctors were surprised too.”

  Hope let out a long sigh, and tears welled in her eyes. She had never been so scared in all her life. “Thank You, Jesus,” she said, looking up at the ceiling. “Thank You for answering my prayer.” She moved her gaze to the right and saw both an IV and a bag of plasma hanging on the pole. “I lost a lot of blood?”

  “Not as much as you’d think, but they didn’t want to take any chances.”

  “So when can I go home?”

  “When they say so,” he said, his expression telling her that this time she wasn’t the one in charge. “For now, you’re going to stay flat on your back.”

  Only then did she realize she didn’t have a pillow. She’d heard of this kind of situation before, when a woman in jeopardy of losing a baby spent weeks, sometimes months in bed, flat on her back. “How long?” she asked, thinking about all the things she had to do, things that wouldn’t get done if she didn’t do them.

  “I don’t know, and neither do they. I guess it all depends on what your body does and what that little one needs.”

  “Worst case?”

  “Until the baby is term. Every day in utero after six months is a gift to that child.”

  “I see.” Hope took a breath, then let it out slowly. After the third time, she still felt like she couldn’t get enough air. Deep breaths, don’t hyperventilate: Oh, Lord, this will not be easy. She who rarely sat still. “How will we manage?”

  Roger smiled at her. “God knows what’s going on. He’s not going to leave us to wander this alone. Where’s your faith, Pastor Benson?”

  “I guess it slipped a notch, but it’s back in place now.” She smiled back at him. “Maybe we could call on the Girl Squad?” For some reason, she already felt closer to those three women than to other women she’d known for years.

  “If it is the worse case, maybe we can move a couch or daybed or something into your office. That way you won’t worry yourself into a frazzle wondering what’s going on out in the main rooms. We can get you a bell, and you can ring it whenever you need something.” He started to laugh.

  “Funny. Very funny.” But in truth, she was glad for his humor.

  A knock on the door caught their attention, and Roger called, “Come in.”

  Clarice peeked around t
he door. “The nurse said you could have visitors.”

  Roger waved her in. “How’d you get here?” He stood to let her have his chair.

  “I brought her.” Andy came in right behind. “And let me tell you, we had us quite a little adventure. I need to learn the streets of this city. We accidentally turned on a one-way street and almost got clobbered by a streetcar.” She stopped at the foot of the bed and swapped a look with Clarice.

  “The baby is fine,” Hope said, knowing they were trying not to act worried. “Thanks be to God.”

  “Yes, thank You, God.” Andy moved to the side of the bed and stroked Hope’s tube-cluttered arm. “I was getting ready to fly back to Medford this morning, but when Clarice called … Anyway, I rushed over to J House and saw that Celia had everything under control, so we came here. Celia sends her love, by the way. She said to tell you”—she glanced at Roger—”that you don’t have your cell phone on, or you forgot it.”

  He grabbed the phone off his belt. “The battery is dead.”

  Hope shook her head. “Not that you could have had it on in here anyway. But … ”

  “Well, no one reminded me to plug it in. A guy can’t remember everything.”

  Hope rolled her eyes.

  A nurse strolled into the room. “Okay, everybody. Vamoose! I gotta check this woman.”

  “But I’m her husband.”

  The nurse waved them all away like a flock of chickens. “I don’t care if you’re Antonio Banderas. Out! I won’t be long, and then you can all come back.”

  Hope mimicked the nurse’s gesture with her free hand, her grin reminding him to just do as he was told. Not that he’d ever been very good at that.

  As soon as they left, the nurse asked, “¿Cómo se siente? I’m Maria, by the way. I’m going to be watching over you while you’re visiting us.”

  Hope was intrigued by the nurse’s personality. This was a woman who was comfortable in her own skin. “A little weak, but okay.”

  “You gave everyone a scare, huh?”

  “Not on purpose.” She waited while the nurse checked her over. “I’m kind of woozy.”

  “The medication is causing some of that. The more you relax, the easier on the baby.”

  “What caused—I mean, what did I do to cause … ?”

  Maria shrugged. “Probably nothing. Sometimes things like this just happen. It may sound harsh, but God knows what He’s doing. If He wants you to have a baby, He’ll make sure you’ll have that baby. If He doesn’t … ” She shrugged, then wrote something down on the chart.

  “My husband and I—we’ve been praying for a miracle for eight years. I was told I would never have a baby.”

  “So God answered you. Now you have to do all you can to keep the baby. And it looks like bed rest, at least for a couple of weeks.”

  “And then?”

  “And then we see. You’re that woman pastor over at J House, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. Why?”

  “Oh, you made a big difference in the life of a friend of mine. Remember a girl named Juanita Alvarez?”

  “Of course. How is she?”

  “Second year of nursing school.”

  “Oh, wow. I knew she had it in her.”

  “You saved her life.”

  Hope remembered they’d gotten Juanita clean and sober and helped her dream again. When she was ready, they sent her to stay with some friends of theirs, who frequently took in girls needing a safe place, away from their usual environment. Juanita had struggled with school, but with their encouragement, she’d stuck to it.

  “Thank you. I needed to be reminded of that right now.”

  The nurse took her hand. “Listen, hon, I won’t pull any punches. This isn’t going to be easy, with you being such an active person and all. But six months isn’t forever, so keep your eye on your goal: a healthy baby. Meanwhile, you can catch up on your reading and play on the computer. You can even continue your counseling, as long as you do it from your bed and you don’t get stressed.”

  Hope stared up at the ceiling. Flat on her back was coming to mean a whole new reality.

  Roger returned seconds after the nurse left.

  “What did she say?” He held a single peach rose and some baby’s-breath in a bud vase with a sunset ribbon tied in a bow. He set it on her tray. “This is to remind you that life is beautiful, no matter what.” He leaned over the bed rail and kissed her. “And that I always love you.”

  Tears brimmed again. “Oh, Roger, you shouldn’t have.”

  “Too bad. I had to do something.”

  Clarice and Andy hesitated at the door. “If you two want to be alone … ,” Andy said.

  “No, come in.” Hope waved them in with her free hand. “Pull up some chairs, and let’s do some thinking.” Relax. She held a breath and breathed out slowly, concentrating on relaxing, her shoulders especially. Only when she did that did she realize she wore her shoulders hunched up to her ears much of the time.

  “Okay.” Clarice had taken a notepad and pen out of her purse. “I’m ready.”

  Hope rattled off the things that needed immediate attention. “And tell Celia”—she shook her head—“no, Roger, you tell Celia to please cooperate with Clarice, okay? That I need her now more than ever, and that as far as I’m concerned she is and always will be my executive assistant.” She turned back to Clarice. “I know you know what the problem is. Celia is jealous of you and how capable you are. All her life people have told her she would never amount to anything, and so she had incredibly low self-esteem. And she’s insecure.”

  “Boy, after what I’ve been through lately, I can relate,” Clarice said.

  “Then please, do whatever you have to do to work with her. Be careful what you say, and respect her space. Just remember that she feels threatened by you.”

  “I have been working on it, but I’ll work even harder. I like Celia, and she’s good at what she does.”

  “Yes, she is.”

  Maria knocked and entered. “Okay, boys and girls, time to go home. Our patient needs some sleep, and it’s hard enough to get it here.”

  Clarice stuffed her paper and pen back in her purse.

  Andy stood. “Ever obedient. Later today, if you can call me and tell me what you need, I’ll get it together. Here’s my phone number.” She laid a card on the table. “I’ll call Julia as soon as I get back.” She patted Hope’s hand. “I’ll be praying.”

  When she stepped back, Clarice did the same. She waggled her fingers. “Tomorrow, if Nurse Hatched”—she whispered the name—“will let me, I’ll massage your shoulders.”

  Hope grinned at the reference to Nurse Ratched. “I’ll look forward to it. You are an angel unawares.”

  They all waved as they went out the door. Hope sniffed and wiped under her eyes with her fingertips. To think, three weeks ago she didn’t know those women. Another one of those prayers God answers before you think to ask. How would I have known to even ask for such friends? I thought my life was pretty full.

  I will never leave you nor forsake you. The promise came clear, as if someone had spoken from the head of her bed. Peace like the softest of airy blankets kissed her face and warmed her heart.

  Hope woke to the sound of nurses shoes squeaking down the hall. She’d been vaguely aware of blood pressure checks during the night but never fully roused. Thank You, thank You, Father for sleep and safety. She laid her right hand over her belly. Bless you, little one, so strong and brave. Tenacious you are. She let her mind float, thinking of a name good enough for this little life. Boy or girl we need a name for each. Esther? Joshua? Ruth? David? She played through names she knew. Had Roger given any thought to a name yet?

  A nurse stopped in the doorway. “You’re awake.”

  “Yes. Am I allowed up for the bathroom?”

  “No, sorry. I know the bedpan is uncomfortable, but … ”

  “Don’t worry. I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

  Once she’d washed her face and bru
shed her teeth, she felt better, and with the head of the bed cranked up a little, she saw the rose Roger had brought her. Oh, Lord, how blessed I am with that man.Seven thirty, time to call him. She dialed their private number and counted the rings. Three, four … Come on, please don’t be in the shower. Five … The answering machine came on. She hung up, disappointment pulling at her mouth.

  The door opened.

  “Hey, beautiful, how’s my favorite woman?”

  “Better be your only woman,” she said sternly. She reached for him. “I called, and you didn’t answer.”

  “How could I? I wasn’t there.” He leaned over the railing and gave her the kind of kiss that she hoped never quit curling her toes.

  “I missed you.”

  “No, you didn’t, you slept all night.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Nurse Maria said so, at eleven and three and six. We’ve gotten to be good friends.”

  “Oh, you.” She stopped. “You didn’t really call all those times?”

  “Of course I did.”

  “Did you ever sleep?” She checked his eyes to see if they were bloodshot or had dark circles. “You look pretty good.”

  “You look wonderful. There’s some color back in your cheeks.”

  “Roger, there’s always color in my cheeks.”

  “Not last night, there wasn’t.” He set the bag he’d brought on her bed. “Here’re some things I thought you’d need, and a few of Celia’s ‘must haves.’”

  “Uh-oh. Dare I look?”

  “Breakfast.” The aide stopped at the foot of the bed. “Hi there, Miss Hope, remember me?” She set the tray on the bed table.

  Hope eyed the young woman. “You sure look familiar. Refresh my memory.”

  “That’s ‘cause I look a lot like my sister, my older sister, Shelby. Shelby Clark?”

  Hope tapped into her mental computer. “Runaway. Long time ago. How’s she doing?”