Broken Justice (Justice Brothers)

by Halliday, Suzanne

  By the end of the workday she’d decided to finish up whatever loose ends she could and then clear out over the weekend. She still had most of her nest egg plus the generous salary the agency had provided for the work she’d done so finding other accommodations wasn’t going to be a problem. Registering with a temp service seemed like her best bet for employment so she’d researched a couple of local agencies on the Internet.

  It all sounded so simple and easy compared to the heavy, crippling, Humpty Dumpty feeling around her heart. She didn’t think anything could make her feel whole ever again. Losing Cameron felt like a piece of her soul had been ripped, painfully so, from her body. The emotional lump in her throat erased any hope of choking down the rest of the yogurt.

  When two fat tears welled in her eyes and ran down her cheeks, Lacey was taken by surprise. She didn’t cry anymore. Life had been too serious to be distracted by boo-hoo thoughts. Feeling the hot tears streak across her face shook her up. Was she feeling sorry for herself or was she weeping for the man who, by giving up on himself, had broken her heart?

  Drawing her knees up to her chest in a protective posture, she huddled in the big wood patio chair and tried not to fall apart. Staring blindly at the stone patio under her feet, she hadn’t noticed another set of boots making their way across the terrace to where she sat.

  “Hi.”

  Good Lord! He startled the crap out of her with his silent approach, making her jolt with surprise and almost causing her to tumble from her seat. He looked like she felt. Reflex had her wanting to make room for him next to her and reach out to comfort him as best she could. Screw that, she thought. He could stand there until hell froze over.

  “Go away,” she hissed. There was no way she could take anymore. Just being around him was smashing even more of her heart to pieces.

  “No. I’m not going anywhere, Ponytail. We need to talk,” he said while jamming his hands into the pockets of his jeans.

  When she didn’t make any room for him to sit, he sighed heavily and then scooped her up in his arms, striding quickly inside the casita where he dropped her gently onto the sofa.

  “We don’t have anything to say,” she snapped at him while arranging her body in a posture that said, Stay away!

  Letting her have the space she needed, he pulled a side chair close to where she sat and lowered himself into it. “Okay, fair enough. Maybe you don’t have anything to say right now, but I hope you’ll listen to what I need to tell you. Maybe after that you’ll change your mind.”

  Lacey tried her hardest not to look at him but his quiet, earnest tone intrigued her until at last she lifted her shrouded eyes to his.

  “I am more sorry than you can imagine for what I said earlier. It’s not an excuse but Alex and Drae were yanking my chain and I over-reacted.”

  She blinked at him a few times as her belligerent frown turned to confusion. What did that mean, he overreacted? Calling her easy was a bit more than an overreaction.

  “It seems I have an insane case of jealousy where you’re concerned.”

  She punctuated her look of disbelief with a half-sneer. A jealous, possessive guy wouldn’t keep walking away, as he had, over and over.

  “Last night…well, last night was like nothing I’ve ever felt before. When I woke up this morning, I hoped we could, maybe, talk. But finding you gone meant I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

  “Well, now you know how it feels!” she bit out. “How many times have I awoke to find you vanished into thin air?” That shut him up.

  “Again, fair enough.”

  “For the record, I have a job here and a clock to punch. You were sleeping soundly and I didn’t want to disturb you. That’s why I wasn’t there, Cameron. I’m not your beck and call girl and I didn’t need your permission to get up and head off to work!”

  So far his so-called explanation was an epic fail.

  “You know what? I just can’t take any more of this. You’ve made your feelings known. Can’t you allow me the dignity of walking away without a post-mortem? It’s the least you could do.”

  He reached out and snagged one of her hands in his. “This will be easier if you shut that pretty mouth of yours and let me finish.”

  When she started to answer he put two fingers against her lips to silence her. “Shhhh, Ponytail. Let’s do this my way for now.”

  She almost bit him when he silenced her with his hand. It would serve him right if she drew first blood. Still - he was being awfully solemn as he tried to explain himself. That in and of itself couldn’t have been easy for a man like Cameron. She doubted if he’d ever had to defend anything he’d ever done. The arrogant prick. She amended that thought pretty quickly to hot and sexy arrogant prick.

  He hadn’t let go of her hand and instead turned it over, palm facing up on his thigh, while his thumb drew lazy circles on her sensitive skin. Ooooh, damn but he was good.

  “As I was saying….. I wasn’t in my right mind when I ran into Drae and Alex. All I could think of was finding you. Hell Lacey, I’m not sure now what I would have said when I did. Something was driving me. It was - well, it was need. I needed you.”

  His admission froze her to the spot. He’d told her he needed her last night too. Damn, she thought. Double damn! How could she have been so stupid? Those words meant a lot and him saying them to her, even in the aftermath of a blinding climax, had been important. Wait, no - not important. They were life-changing words. She hadn’t considered how he would react after revealing his emotions to her, when she crept quietly from his bed and toddled off to work. She hadn’t even left a note.

  “They started giving me shit right away. About you. I know now that they were just trying to get me to be honest about what was going on, but in the moment, all I heard was every other word and the next thing I knew Drae was pointing out that you were out of my league and would be better off with anyone else. He may as well have dropped a grenade in my lap. The idea of you with another man pushed me over the edge with jealousy and rage. What you walked in on was me being a king-size dick because I couldn’t deal with the feelings running around inside my head.”

  “I’ve never understood why you think that. This opinion you have of yourself as some evil, damaged monster just doesn’t fit with the man I know you to be. Do you really think I would be with someone I didn’t respect or think was an honorable person? There were two of us in that bed last night. It wasn’t just you.”

  “I hear what you’re saying honey but there are things in my past, things I’ve done, that weigh heavily on me. The kind of stuff that makes you feel unworthy and spoiled. Like second-hand goods held together with duct tape. Forget the drug addicted mother and the endless group care homes in my childhood. There’s something about a warzone that doesn’t play by conventional rules that can fuck up a guy’s head. Every day I live with regret and nightmares that never let up. You’re so young and beautiful. It felt wrong to drag you into my personal hell.”

  “I won’t try for even half a second to imagine that I understand what you experienced,” she whispered. His demons were parading in his head, evidenced by his tensely clenched jaw. What could she do to ensure he was concentrating on their conversation – important as it was – and not his inner turmoil? Levering up from her spot on the sofa, she sat on his lap and BOOM she got his attention.

  Shocked into silence at her unexpected action, he found her bottom sitting on his groin to be totally distracting. He knew what she was doing and for some odd reason, as she was talking, he suddenly laughed. “You’re talking with your butt.”

  “What?”

  “I know what you’re doing. Plopping down on my lap was meant to keep me focused on what you are trying to say. Planting your sweet little derrière on my, uh … zipper, well, of course that’s going to get my attention. Therefore, you are communicating with your butt. Period.” He paused as his words sank in and grinned at her stupefied expression.

  She wanted to strangle him. Here she thought they were hav
ing a moment only to learn that his thoughts were entirely on her ass. The man was exasperation in dark jeans. Well, she figured, two could play at that.

  Tossing a bit of faux righteous indignation at him along with a randy squirm of her bottom, she deliberately and provocatively shifted to look directly at him, and paused. Bingo! The tense line his mouth adopted when her hip brushed against the hardness she detected let her know how effective her aim had been.

  Now she had his attention. “Cameron. Whatever dark impressions you brought back from the battlefield are things from the past, yes?” At his slight nod and near grimace she knew he understood what was coming next. “Wasn’t it you who has been telling me that the past shapes who we are today and that it doesn’t have to bring us down or define who we are in the present?” This time it was he who squirmed as her words found a way past the barriers he’d erected in his mind. The ‘yes’ he mumbled in reply to her question came out in a half-hiss as his movement, slight as it was, brought her rounded bottom into direct contact with his groin.

  “So…the man you are today, is he for real? I mean, is he a real person? When you do things like rescue a person in distress or when you bend over backwards for your friends, does all that come from inside you? Or are you just playing a game with everyone? Which is it Cameron? Are you caring and concerned about the people you’ve let into your life or not? You don’t get to have it both ways.” She hadn’t raised her voice a notch even though the passion in her words came through with damning precision as she hit her mark over and over.

  Going for broke, she moved her hands to frame his face and looked deeply into his eyes so he could see not just her feelings but also her determination. She wasn’t going to let this go. “You’re not a bad person. You’re a man who has faced extraordinary challenges and somehow managed to survive. It’s the somehow that bothers you, and I totally get that. For your friends though, the people who care about you, they’re only mindful of the survival part, not the somehow part.”

  “Are you one of those people, Lacey?” he asked quietly as he sat perfectly still. “Even after everything you’ve been through and the way I’ve treated you, is it possible that you care?”

  Wow, Lacey thought. This was supposed to be about him, yet he had turned the tables on her so deftly and with such exactness that she was taken slightly aback. Did she care? Of course, she cared. She was human after all. However, that wasn’t what he was referring to and she knew that.

  He’d behaved like a shit this morning and nearly destroyed her heart in the process, but she could see how a lack of communication combined with the strength of their confusing feelings had set the stage for the mess they were in.

  She’d been trying to help him see that whatever experiences he’d faced in the past had made him the man he is today. He was showing her the same. Everything she’d experienced made her strong and independent. Someone who could face anything, as she’d proven she could. He was asking her to be brave and answer a question honestly, in a way that might liberate them both. The future was quite literally in her hands and completely under her control in the looming silence as each of them waited on her answer.

  Big, deep breath. “I care, Cameron. Truly, I do.” She glanced away as her hands dropped from his face. A surge of determination bubbling up from her soul helped her continue. “I’ve been falling in love with you since the moment you swooped in like some dark angel to save me from certain doom.”

  Her openness made him feel incredible and he couldn’t help but feel humbled by her bravery and moved by her trust. She deserved the same from him. “I’m not playing a game with you, Lacey. The man you see today is the real person and what I feel for you very much comes from the inside.” It took one mighty effort not to punctuate that sentiment with the thrust of his hips against her bottom, but he held fast because he damn well knew that this was a huge moment for both of them. A moment that stood alone, outside the potent sexual pull they each felt toward the other and deserving of its singular importance.

  Feeling her heart fill to almost bursting for the first time in her known life, Lacey was overcome by the emotions drenching her soul. He was telling her he had feelings for her and, truth be known, no words had ever sounded more wildly thrilling or quietly satisfying as those did. Laying her head upon his shoulder as a hand moved to a place above his heart she sighed out, “Oh, Cameron.”

  Instinct told him to offer it all so he grimly countered with a somewhat terse, “My name is Jason. Jason Cameron.”

  Her head snapped up with his admission and pinned him to the spot with those flashing blues. Without missing a beat she simply asked, “Is that what you want me to call you? Jas...”

  “No!” he bit out, cutting her off from saying that name. He didn’t hate his name, nothing quite as glamorous as that. He remembered too clearly the way his mother slurred it though along with the sound of her distaste for his existence in every syllable. It was an association he didn’t need in his adult life. “I’m Cameron and have been for way longer than I was Jason. Just wanted you to know, that’s all.” A silent shrug followed, moving his torso in such a way that Lacey was reminded of the very warm and aroused male’s lap in which she sat. The trust in her that he was admitting matched the trust in him that she had confessed.

  She searched his face and bit back a laugh when she found his expression, while full of sincerity, plastered on a face taut with sexual desire. Sighing melodramatically Lacey leaned in to snuggle his neck a moment before placing a wickedly lascivious kiss next to his ear that ended with a wet tongue stroke and a whispered, “You’re really too old for me though.” This brought the immediate reaction she hoped it would.

  “I beg your pardon?” he snarled as he flattened her back onto the nearby sofa so fast she hardly had time to react. By the time she did, he was already firmly between her thighs pinning her beneath his hard male body. “Wanna try telling me that from this position?”

  The way her hips welcomed his presence with a naughty roll spoke for itself, and besides, she’d been teasing. Him getting all caveman-like was exactly the reaction she wanted.

  “I suppose you can try to prove me wrong.” Jesus, was that her cooing? “I don’t want to get stuck with some old guy.” Not said with a coo. Something more like a taunt or better yet, a challenge. True to his nature, Cameron took up the dare without hesitation.

  “This old man has satisfied your desires, surely?” he purred a second before his lips found that spot on her neck that wiped her brain of coherent thought. When she bit back a whimper, he went with a fully engaged ravishing of just three square inches of her skin. How did he do that, she wondered. He wasn’t touching her anywhere else, and except of course for his body stretched out atop hers, he wasn’t using his hands at all. All he was doing was licking and kissing a small segment of her exposed neck. Being reduced to a puddle in mere seconds had her thinking she had to try this teasing thing more often.

  Cam feasted on her skin for long moments, enjoying the way he could reduce her to a quaking heap without much effort. Her heated response made him feel alive. While it wouldn’t take much to get them both naked and groaning as he buried himself inside her, it was way more fun at the moment to just hold her close and thank his lucky stars that they had weathered the storm that nearly destroyed what they had.

  Nipping her ear, he growled low and deep, “You’re right. I’m too old for such a young innocent.” When he went to rise from the cushion of her voluptuous body, she tightened her arms around his shoulders and held him firmly where he was.

  “Not so fast, mister!” she cried. “Aren’t you supposed to be proving me wrong?”

  Their teasing had been fun. Enjoyable even. Especially after both of them had revealed their true feelings and taken a leap of faith. Cam felt there was one more thing to be said which didn’t want to be denied or held on the sidelines for a better time.

  “I’m falling in love with you Lacey. Have done so since the moment I first laid eyes on y
ou. I think you’re amazing and probably the bravest person I’ve ever met.”

  Considering where and how he’d spent most of his adult life Lacey fixed him with a ‘yeah, sure’ look.

  “I’m serious. Look, when people get sent to war or find themselves in the middle of a threatening situation that they’ve trained for, they know what to expect. It’s not a surprise. You were no more than a toddler when your world started falling apart. You weren’t a trained warrior and yet you’ve done a double-digit tour of duty, all alone with no help or back up, and managed to survive. And not just survived but also turned out to be a pretty amazing woman in the end. I think that makes you pretty brave.”

  “I can’t even be bummed out by those experiences anymore. Not if in the end, they led me to you.”

  Now that he knew how to smile again, it was easy to let a big grin spread across his face at her words. My God. What had he done in his life to deserve such perfection? He had no idea but he knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was blessed beyond measure to have found such a treasure.

  “I have something for you, Ponytail. Here, sit up,” he said as he tugged her upright onto his lap and reached into his pocket. Pulling out the small box he pushed it into her hands saying, “I brought you a souvenir from Seattle.”

  Her look of stunned disbelief made the moment even more special. He waited while she gently cracked open the little box with trembling hands. Happiness, pure and undisguised, leapt in his heart when he heard her gasp of delight. Tear-filled eyes blinked up at him. He felt a million feet tall.

  Taking the box from her hands he removed one of the pieces and deftly placed it on her ear. Quickly doing the same with the other he admired the way the tiny pearls accented her delicate features.

  She reached up and touched the earrings, asking, “You got these for me in Seattle?”