The Family You Choose

by Deborah Nam-Krane

She stood a little straighter. "Stephen has to make his choices, and I have to make mine."

  "And you choose Stephen?"

  "In a manner of speaking."

  "What would you choose if there weren’t a Stephen?"

  "I suppose that depends on my choices."

  "Pretend I’m one of them."

  She smiled. "Depends on what I’m choosing for."

  "What about...dinner?"

  "Dinner might be a problem."

  "Then what about lunch?"

  She nodded slowly. "I think lunch could work."

  "So have lunch with me."

  "Sorry, I thought we were speaking hypothetically. Stephen is still in the picture."

  "Does he tell you about everything with his wife?"

  "No."

  "Do you think you’re entitled to know?"

  "Probably not."

  "So how would this be any different?"

  "I guess the difference would be my relationship to his wife and your relationship with Stephen."

  "Why don’t you let me worry about that?" Alex didn’t like using such a weak argument to close a negotiation, but it was the best he could come up with. He held his breath while she looked like she was thinking about it.

  "Alright," she said at last, and Alex knew he was grinning even more widely than before. "Lunch."

  "When?"

  "Next Monday."

  "Next Monday?!?"

  "Sorry, that’s the best I can do. Take it or leave it."

  Alex, always in tune to people’s weaknesses, could tell that Monday really was the best he was going to get. "Monday. Where?"

  "You decide."

  "How will I get in touch with you so I can let you know?"

  "You won’t," she said simply. "You’ll give me your number, and I’ll call you on Monday morning to find out where you’re taking me."

  "Are you always this bossy?"

  "Only if I think I need to be."

  He reached into his wallet for one of his cards. He wrote his home phone number and handed it to her.

  "And I expect a call," he said, "by no later than nine on Monday morning."

  "Or else what?"

  "I’ll think of something."

  "You do that." She walked away to Boylston Street, and then turned the corner out of view. Alex walked back to his car and drove back to his office. He was still smiling by the time he got in.

  ~~~

  Tatiana called Alex at his home at seven on Monday morning. "Good morning!" she said cheerfully.

  Alex had been up for an hour already, but he hadn’t expected her to call so early. "Good morning."

  "So, where are you taking me today?"

  He smiled. "How do you feel about Italian?"

  "Like I can never get enough."

  "Then Italian it is. I’ll pick you up."

  "No, I can find my way. Just give me the address."

  Alex arrived at the most romantic Italian restaurant in Boston at eleven-thirty. He hadn’t really believed that she’d be there until he saw her sitting by the window, looking at the menu. He took a deep, satisfied breath when he walked into the door, and walked over to the table.

  She looked up. Her eyes were still that green; her lips were still that full. "Hello."

  "You found it? Sorry, it’s a little bit out of the way."

  "I suppose that works out, doesn’t it?" she said with a little smile as she went back to her menu. He smiled too.

  "What are you thinking?" he asked after a minute.

  "Fettuccine Alfredo," she said after a minute. "Splatters won’t be too visible."

  "I’m thinking...veal piccata."

  She wrinkled her nose. "Not a veal person. I’ll eat meat, but veal seems a little bit much."

  "Oh," he said softly. "You’re one of those."

  "If by those you mean a conscientious eater, then yes, I am."

  "You do realize that the veal is already dead?"

  "That’s a relief. But you realize that your order is going to wind up getting another calf killed for its white meat?"

  "Just my order? I’ll bet I’m only one of forty or fifty orders for veal in this restaurant, just for today. I’m a drop in the bucket."

  "You know what happens with drops in water? They create ripples."

  They placed their order and Alex put his chin on his hand. "Are you worried about ripples, Ms. Hamilton?"

  "Maybe a little."

  "If it makes you feel any better, this is a pretty closed circle. You, me, Stephen. Limited scope for those ripples."

  Tatiana bit her thumbnail and moved her head side to side as if she were thinking something. "Don’t you care about Stephen?" she said at last.

  "He’s my best friend," Alex said, still staring at her. "I’ve known him since we were seven. I think I care about him more than anyone else does."

  "I don’t think he’s going to like this," she said slowly.

  "Do you agree that there is a ‘this’ not to like?"

  "I don’t go out on many lunch dates."

  "That’s good to hear."

  "Is it?" she asked. "But you do." It wasn’t a question. "You made a reservation here. When I came in, they showed me to your usual table."

  He inhaled a bit before he smiled. "It’s a very good restaurant."

  "I expect the food will be very good, but I don’t think that’s what people come here for."

  Alex tried to erase the emotions from his face. "You said you liked Italian."

  "And I’m sure that if I’d said I liked Chinese or French or Hungarian, you’d have had a special spot in your back pocket for that too."

  The food came. Tatiana swirled her pasta and took a mouthful. Alex cut his veal, trying not to stare at her while she ate. He took a bite and sipped his wine. "How much does that bother you?"

  "Being part of a harem? It’s not very appealing."

  "But letting me be one of two...that’s better?"

  "What's the real advantage to what you're offering? No one would be a secret?" He said nothing. "And for the record, I didn’t follow you in my car."

  "No, but you called me this morning."

  "I did." She sipped her wine while looking at him. "And I think that was a mistake."

  "Why?"

  "Because I think you do like my eyes, but I think you like the idea of getting Stephen even better."

  "What am I getting him for?"

  "I haven’t the faintest. But maybe it has something to do with the fact that he is sitting in his home right now, planning his next trip with his family, and you’re leaving the office to have lunch. Tell me, how much time do you have?"

  Alex raised his eyebrow. "As much as I want. It’s my company."

  "Is it really?" She leaned in. "Didn't it used to belong to Stephen's father-in-law?"

  Alex didn't move. "Not exactly. But do you think Stephen should have it instead? Annabelle has a brother who might have a better claim, except neither of them wanted it. Even if they had, they wouldn't have known what to do with it."

  "But you do, of course. So you can't stay out too long. You have to get back and watch it and make sure nothing happens to it."

  "That’s true, but what I’m watching is much bigger than what Stephen might be watching. Stephen’s father wasn’t, shall we say, the most cautious investor, and Stephen never had anyone to learn any restraint from. Black Monday hit him pretty hard—you just wouldn’t know it."

  "But not you, right? You were smart, you weren’t greedy—you probably managed to turn a profit eventually, right?"

  "I did."

  "But as you said, no one knows it. At least, no one knows how much better off you are than your oldest, best friend."

  "They don’t have to."

  "They don’t have to because you do, and that’s enough. Is that what you were going to say?"

  "What if it was?"

  "Then I’d want to know what you really expected to get out of this, right here. Because if you don’t think anyone can kn
ow about this either, how much satisfaction would you really get out of taking me from Stephen?"

  Alex didn’t answer. Tatiana put her fork down then stood up. "Thank you very much for lunch, Mr. Sheldon. But I think that’s all." She grabbed her coat and walked out.

  CHAPTER 20

  "You have no idea how much these visits mean to me," Tatiana said as hugged Stephen good-bye the next week.

  "They mean that much more to me, my little love."

  "Any estimate, then, on when I get to stop being a dirty little secret?"

  "Oh, my sweetheart, I’m just not ready yet. This is going to be a big blow to Annabelle. I have to respect that. But I'm trying to think of something."

  "I understand." She looked at the picture of Stephen with his family and smiled sadly. "But I can’t wait to meet your handsome little boy."

  Stephen lit up at the mention of his son. "You’ll like him, Tatiana. He’s a wonderful little boy. He’s so smart and strong and—God, you should see his pitch." They both laughed. "And I think he’s really going to like you too."

  "I hope so," Tatiana said sincerely. "But remember, I have a bonus for him that I think he’ll like even better." She hugged Stephen again and left.

  She was almost to the corner of Boylston Street when she saw Alex. He put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his feet. She folded her arms when she saw him, more amused than annoyed.

  "Mr. Sheldon, is this another coincidence?"

  Alex took a deep breath. "No, it is not. I planned this. I figured out when you visit Stephen. Annabelle is chairing the committee for the AIDS ball this year, and the foundation’s secretary was nice enough to give me the schedule."

  "If you say so."

  "Did anyone ever tell you that you are annoyingly unflappable?"

  "Did anyone ever tell you that you look at people like they’re things?"

  "That comment hasn’t been made to me very often."

  "Then maybe it’s because you know to hide it from people you need something from, and people you don’t hide it from probably can’t afford to say it to you."

  "I think the moral superiority is a little overdone given the circumstances, don’t you?"

  "I know what my loyalty to Stephen is supposed to be, and I’m not betraying it. But you...there’s just no good reason for a man like you to go after me, given the circumstances, as you say."

  Alex took a step closer. "Maybe you were right last week. Maybe I was trying to get something off of Stephen. And maybe you’re right now. I do need a good reason to do something like this."

  She tilted her chin up. "And what might that be?"

  "How about that I can’t stop thinking about you? How about that I have a whole list of numbers I could call to take my mind off of you, and it hasn’t worked? How about that for the first time in my life I’m having trouble sleeping? I’ve done some things, Ms. Hamilton, which I’m not very proud of, but I usually sleep pretty goddamn well. Not this week. And why? Because I keep seeing those gorgeous green eyes of yours, and I keep seeing your smile, and I keep hearing your voice. Is that a good reason?"

  "Maybe you’re just not used to hearing no, Mr. Sheldon. Maybe that’s why you can’t sleep."

  "I’ve heard no many times in my life. Out loud and unspoken. I don’t usually listen, or I find a way around it."

  "Much like now."

  "I don’t usually tell my opponent that I’m not listening." He bit the inside of his cheek. "And I’m hoping you don’t see me that way."

  "What do you want?"

  He opened his eyes. "Maybe if you stop saying no, I’ll be able to get some sleep."

  Tatiana laughed in surprise. She wasn’t offended. "And maybe if I say yes you’ll tell Stephen."

  He shook his head. "I won’t. I can’t prove it. That’s not what this is about. But you’re just going to have to trust me, or not."

  "I could just tell Stephen that you won’t leave me alone."

  "That occurred to me too." His voice was lower. "And apparently you haven’t. If you had, I might not be able to stand on this street corner, or anywhere else for that matter. Stephen’s a big guy, and I’ve also been grateful to have him on my side." Now it was his turn to smile. "Why didn’t you, if that would have solved everything?"

  "Maybe I don’t want Stephen to have to give up his best friend. He talks about you all the time."

  "That’s pretty generous of you." She was silent. "Or maybe it’s something else?"

  "What do you want, Alex?"

  "No more games."

  "No promises."

  "I want to see you tomorrow."

  "That might be hard to arrange."

  "Then the next day. Or the day after that. I don’t care, you pick."

  She didn’t say anything, but held his gaze for a few moments. "Thursday," she said at last. "But it has to be earlier."

  She understood, he understood. "Fine."

  "Where?"

  He took out another card and wrote an address. "There. Nine o’clock, Thursday."

  She took the card and nodded. "Nine o’clock," she repeated. "Thursday."

  "And don’t be late."

  "No promises," she said quietly as she walked away.

  ~~~

  It was nine-ten when Tatiana got to the Park Plaza on Thursday. She went up the elevator and into the appointed room. Alex, tall, dark and handsome, was waiting for her. She leaned against the door and looked at him. Then she saw the black roses. "Wow," she gasped. "Those are beautiful."

  "I’m glad you like them," he said, moving towards her. "They seemed to suit you."

  "How so?" she whispered as he got closer.

  "Rare and beautiful." He leaned in. "And maybe a little frightening," he whispered before he kissed her.

  At eleven, Tatiana was resting against Alex’s shoulder on the large bed in the hotel room. Alex sighed.

  "Why did you come here?" he asked, playing with her hair.

  "Because I wanted to."

  "Why?"

  "Oh, boy—how much ego stroking do you need?" she said teasingly before she kissed him. "You know you’re a very handsome man."

  "I never really cared before," he said. "It was just one more thing to help me get what I wanted. But if you think I’m handsome," he kissed her, "that’s helpful in an altogether different kind of way."

  She kissed him for a few minutes more, before pulling away. "I’m sorry, I have to go," she said. She sat up and started getting dressed. He sat up and traced his fingers down her spine. "And if you do that," she said without turning around, "then I’m going to have a little trouble getting dressed."

  He kissed her shoulder. "Then don’t get dressed."

  "Don’t you have somewhere you need to be?"

  "Like I said, I’m the boss."

  She shook her head and stood up to finish getting dressed. "What if I want to see you again?" he said as she started putting on her coat.

  She froze. "I thought that was part of the point of being here, Alex. Now we’ll both be out of each other’s systems."

  "Oh," Alex laughed. "Is that what we were trying to do? I’m sorry, I think we failed."

  He stood up, naked. He put his arms around her and kissed her. She kissed him back. He held her face. She grabbed his hips. Then she pulled away. She closed her eyes.

  "I think this is getting too complicated," she whispered.

  "Sorry, wouldn’t want to be a complication."

  "I have to go."

  "I’m not stopping you."

  "Good." She kissed him again. He laughed.

  She pulled away again. "Good bye, Alex." She turned around stopping when he put his hand on her shoulder.

  "See me again," he said simply.

  "Probably not a good idea," she said after a moment.

  "So say no." She was silent. "Let’s make a deal. I’ll have this same room next week; same day, same time. And I’ll be here from nine to ten. And if you don’t come by ten, then I’ll go. And I won�
�t bother you. And I won’t tell Stephen."

  "And if I do?" she said, still facing the door.

  "Then maybe this is different than what you thought it was going to be."

  "And you really get off on surprises, don’t you?" she said before she let herself out.

  CHAPTER 21

  Michael did manage to call into work on Monday afternoon. "There now," he said, coming back to bed. "Do I get a reward for being a responsible boy?"

  "Are you in trouble with them?"

  He scowled. "Why are you so worried about my work?"

  "You do realize that Alex is going to cut you off now?"

  "Fortunately my grandfather Abbot paid the mortgage on this place years ago. In fact, I don’t think there even was a mortgage."

  "I’ve noticed that you have expensive habits—if not tastes."

  "I’ll downgrade to beer."

  "And the travel."

  "All of it business from now on."

  "The filet mignon."

  "I could probably get by with chicken."

  "The clothes—oh never mind, you have lousy taste in clothing."

  "See? It will all work out."

  "The clubbing? The drugs?" She paused, then smiled crookedly. "The girls?"

  "All of it was strictly recreational. I can try the Internet."

  "I think the internet can get pretty pricey if you screw around too much."

  "Alright, books and television it is."

  "Michael, I’m serious. You know Alex isn’t going to be merciful."

  "Are you really worried about anything other than the women?"

  "Don’t flatter yourself. And sorry, but if they’re under eighteen, they’re girls."

  "You do care, or you don’t care?"

  "I care...about you not having to mortgage your father’s house so you can snort and screw your way through your misery."

  "How about I worry about the former and you worry about the latter?"

  "Oh, shut up!" She tried to get up, but he wouldn’t let her. "And don’t try and be a brute, because I think I could beat you up with that concussion."

  "Only if you wanted to."

  He hovered over her, and she smiled and touched his face. "You need to worry."

  "Trust me; I’ve worried my whole life." He kissed her, but then he pulled up. "And what are you going to do?"

  She smiled. "I suppose you never thought about that before, hmm? Or did you hope I’d go back to being a—what was it again—‘piece of charity trash?’"