Embattled Minds (Military Romance) (Lost And Found Series)

by J. M. Madden

Ember stepped in front of him and wrapped him in a hug. His heavy arms came around her head, carefully cocooning her. She felt him press a kiss to the top of her head, but it wasn’t what she wanted. She pulled back enough to stare up into his eyes. His squeezed shut and he turned his head away, trying to let her go.

  “Would you kiss me, Zeke?”

  He exhaled harshly. “Not a g-g-good idea, Ember.”

  “Why? Do you have a girlfriend I don’t know about?”

  “You know I don’t,” he snapped.

  She pulled back, alarmed at his response. “No, I don’t know that. You’re a good looking guy—” she got no further as he ripped out of her arms and jerked the door open. “Hey, wait a minute!”

  She grabbed his jacket before he stepped through the doorway and jumped in front of him, blocking his way. Fury darkened his blue eyes to navy, surprising her with its intensity. “Why are you pissed? Because I said you were good looking?”

  He snarled and shook his head. “Are you fucking blind? Or just cruel? Because either way I’m d-done. I need to go.”

  Her mouth dropped open, furious that he could be so incredibly wrong. “Now wait a minute. You’ve been with me all day. I’m not blind and I’m definitely not cruel. You know that. I actually do think you’re good-looking. Hell, you’re built like a damn underwear model and have the prettiest ice-blue eyes I’ve ever seen. Yes, you have scars, but they certainly don’t bother me, or turn me off. If anything, they turn me on, because they tell me exactly the kind of man you are.” She poked his hard chest for good measure and stepped into his space. “Now, are you going to kiss me, or not?”

  “No.” He looked out the door, over her head, his eyes jumping.

  “Why not?”

  His jaw clamped shut.

  “Why not, damn it?”

  He shook his head, mute, and his shoulders slumped, as if he couldn’t hold out any more.

  “Because if I do I’ll never be able to stop.”

  His gaze landed on hers and for the first time, Ember started to reconsider her approach. There was a vulnerability in his expression that made her question whether she was woman enough to fulfill his needs. But the attraction she felt for him was beyond anything she’d ever experienced before. She took a breath.

  “Maybe I won’t want you to stop.”

  She’d barely gotten the words out before his mouth crushed hers, forcing her head back. But it didn’t matter, because Zeke’s mouth was finally on hers, moving back and forth as if they’d talked about the moves beforehand. Ember staggered under the desperate wave of need that hit her. Her legs went to jelly and her heart raced as she poured her own enthusiasm into the kiss.

  Zeke growled deep in his throat and wrapped his arms around her again, this time to pick her up and swing her around to brace against the foyer wall. She felt him shift down below and heard the door slam shut, then his hips were aligning with hers. She jerked as she felt the ridge of his erection nestle in against her pubic bone and without thought she wrapped her legs around his hips. Immediately, his hands shifted to grip her ass.

  Zeke froze against her, then pulled his mouth away from hers to kiss first her bruised cheek, then down her neck. “I don’t know if we should do this,” he whispered. But his hands clutched her ass, and he flexed against her again.

  “You’re right, we shouldn’t,” she gasped as she arched into him.

  Groaning, his lips found hers again, as if he couldn’t stay away. Ember shuddered as his tongue swept into the depths of her mouth. The aggression in the move startled her, but also spiked her arousal. His heavy chest crushed her breasts, but the feel of him against her, panting for breath the way she was, exhilarated her.

  One of his broad hands slid up her side, beneath her T-shirt, to the swell of her breast. Sliding his thumb between their bodies, he pushed beneath her bra to stroke over her hard nipple. Ember cried out, tearing her mouth away. “Oh, yes. Please, Zeke.”

  Shoving her bra out of the way, he gripped her whole breast in his massive hand, plumping and smoothing. Her womb clenched in need as he savored her body. Then, with a final nibble at her lips, he pulled away.

  “I don’t have anything to protect you with, Ember. I have to stop.”

  His hand pulled away from her breast, and the other palm holding her ass began to lower her to the floor. Ember could have wept in denial. The muscles of his arms trembled, and she knew it had to be costing him as well.

  For one wild moment she thought about throwing caution to the wind and letting him know that she had a five-year IUD in, but pulling away would probably be prudent. Her life was in turmoil and she didn’t know if she could be part of a relationship right now, in spite of the monumental need she had for him.

  Her feet settled to the floor and her knees almost gave out. She clutched at his arms, unwilling to let him go. He stroked her hair, seeming just as reluctant.

  “M-maybe w-w-we could g-g-o out someti-time.”

  Ember smiled at the obvious nervousness in his deep voice and nodded her head against his chest. “I would love that.”

  Finally, he pushed away from the wall and straightened, looking down at her. His were still dark, hard with determination and his jaw was clenched, as if the battle not to take her waged on inside him. Her eyes flickered at the thought and fell to the obvious erection behind the zipper of his jeans. She moaned and one hand lifted as if to touch him, but he jerked away.

  “Don’t.”

  His harsh face had reddened in parts and paled in others. He blinked and took another step back. Ember crossed her arms beneath her breasts, cold without his warmth. “Call me,” she whispered.

  With a single tight nod, he turned and let himself out of the apartment.

  Ember shivered and sank down against the wall as the cold air swirled around her.

  *****

  Arousal rode him hard, and it was all he could do to get to the truck and inside. He cranked the ignition, then just sat there, dragging oxygen into his lungs. Flashes of brutal memory assaulted him and he tightened his hands on the steering wheel, afraid that he would run back to bust right through her door and take her standing up. She’d cradled his face in his hands as if the marks didn’t matter, and that acceptance was heady.

  But it was a treacherous road to walk.

  He didn’t know if he could trust his own gut because it had been so long since he’d been involved with anybody. She’d seemed genuine in her need, but maybe he was just a body, scratching an itch.

  The thought of her breaking down at the restaurant flashed across his mind and he had to rethink that assessment.

  Shaking his head, he shifted into gear, glad that he’d taken the night off. It would give him a chance to get her out of his system.

  Chapter Five

  The cellphone buzzed on the desk beside him.

  Duncan looked at the screen and recognized the number from the other night when they’d all been working out. The caller had not left a message, just a hangup. This was the same number.

  Sliding his finger across the touchscreen, he rocked back in his chair.

  “Hello.”

  Somebody was on the other end of the line, he could sense it, but they weren’t saying anything. “Can I help you?”

  The line disconnected.

  Duncan rolled his chair until he could look out the window to the street below. Snow-covered, of course, but no worse than normal for Denver three days before Christmas. He followed the line of sidewalk down as far as he could see, but nothing caught his attention.

  He hadn’t seen Aiden for several weeks now. Now that he knew who the hunched figure was, he always watched for him. If the other man needed help, Duncan wanted to be there to give it.

  Pushing to his feet, he wandered toward Palmer’s office. The other man was behind his cluttered desk, staring off into space. When Duncan walked into the office, he visibly started.

  “You okay, there, buddy?”

  John swiped a hand over his face
and grimaced. “I’m fine. Just thinkin’. What do you need?”

  Duncan showed him the cell phone number and John’s fingers flew over his keyboard. “This number has called me a couple of times, but doesn’t say anything. I just want to see if I can figure out who it is.”

  John sat back in his chair with a shake of his head. “Nope. The number looks like a drugstore throwaway. Dead end.”

  He thought as much, but it was good to have it confirmed.

  “Is the holiday covered? The Malone surveillance and…”

  John nodded, but he didn’t look happy about it. “Harper volunteered to work the entire weekend, with Claypool pulling day shift. Parks is still on the Vail detail, with Calvert backing him up. We have a secondary contractor taking over for Roger while the plant is shut down so he can fly home for a couple of days. Everything is covered.”

  “Did you find something for Shannon?”

  John’s face darkened with a scowl.

  “Fuck, Duncan, do you know how hard it is to shop for a damn woman? I’ve never had to deal with this before, so I’m seriously struggling. I don’t know what the hell she wants. Besides a damn ring, I mean.”

  Smiling, Duncan shifted a pile of manuals from the only chair in the room.

  “Have you talked to her at all? There has to be something she wants.”

  John sighed. “She wants to get married, I can see it in her eyes, but I don’t know if I’m up for that yet. Hell, I just moved into her house. I’m getting used to the cats. I don’t know if I can do any more than that right now.”

  Duncan felt for his buddy. He’d probably be freaked if he were in the same situation.

  “Well, why don’t you think about getting away for a while. Take a trip or something. Shannon would probably love to get out of the house for a while after the Gerbowski mess.”

  John blinked and cocked his head to the side. “You know, that’s not a bad idea. Even if I have to travel.”

  Duncan left his second in command surfing travel sites and planning a trip.

  He limped his way down to the rec room and raided the refrigerator, pulling out some easy to eat essentials. Twice before, he’d left a bag of food where Aiden had hung out, and twice before they were gone the next day. That wasn’t to say that somebody else hadn’t taken them, but he didn’t think so. The industrial park where the office building was located did not have any homeless.

  Other than Aiden.

  As he climbed into his truck a few minutes later, Duncan had little hope that he’d see the other man. But as he pulled out of the parking lot, he kept his eyes peeled.

  When he pulled up to the spot where he’d seen Aiden before, he stepped out with the bag in his hand. Planting his cane, he carefully walked to the dumpster where he’d been curled up before.

  And stopped dead.

  Blood soaked the snow-covered ground in a wide circle, exactly where Aiden had sat that first night. Duncan scanned his surroundings, looking for a body, but he didn’t see any suspicious lumps. And there was no trail of blood leaving the area.

  What the fuck?

  There was no sign of anything on the ground beneath his feet, so he backtracked to his truck to leave the crime scene pristine. Then he called Denver PD.

  The young officer that arrived hadn’t been on the job long, if the way she paled at the sight of the blood pool was any indication. She quickly called for her supervisor, then the supervisor called for a lab tech and the detective on call. Duncan answered the same questions over and over again, but he didn’t have a great deal of information. He gave them Aiden’s name, but hell, he didn’t even know if that was his real name.

  The detective that came, Roberts, didn’t seem concerned that a homeless person was missing and presumed injured. Didn’t even seem to care that it was a veteran.

  “Even more reason to off himself then,” he shrugged.

  Duncan had never been more livid. “Listen, Officer,” he deliberately left off “Detective”, and leaned into his space, “I don’t know what your problem is, but if you need to ask somebody else in that will treat this with the respect it deserves, I’ll wait.” He crossed his arms over his chest as the snow swirled around them and waited as Roberts blustered through a series of threats. Duncan held up a hand. “I have Quillen’s number. Do I need to call him instead?”

  Using the Captain’s name had been a gamble, but it shut the man up, and sent him scurrying back to the scene. Duncan waited outside as long as he could, but the cold was making his bones ache. He slid inside the truck to stay warm.

  When the lab tech started to pack up his stuff, Duncan stepped out to ask the man a single question, and he didn’t like the answer he received. Yes, from the volume of blood available on scene, it would be enough of a loss to kill an average sized man. The tech couldn’t presume if it had been an attempted suicide or assault, though he did confirm that there were no obvious signs of struggle.

  Duncan climbed into his truck and headed for home, heartsick.

  *****

  Ember tightened her grip on her purse as she walked up the steps Monday afternoon into the courthouse. Her lawyer, Quinn Roberts, stood just inside, and he grimaced when he saw her.

  “Thank you for coming down so quickly, Ember. When I told the judge’s secretary you had moved out, she thought your dad would be a good option for early release, especially since you want to remove the PO. Because of the weather and the holiday, the jails are jam-packed right now, and they need the room.”

  He paused long enough to look her face up and down.

  “I had hoped that the bruising would have faded by now. When the judge sees that he could reverse his decision and leave the protection order in effect.”

  Ember winced. “I could try to go cover it up more, but it becomes more obvious that I’m hiding something after a certain point.”

  He nodded reluctantly and took her elbow to guide her down a long hallway. At one of the many doors, he paused and let them inside. A woman with a plastic smile greeted them, and ushered them directly into the judge’s office. The balding man behind the desk barely glanced up from the folder of papers in front of him.

  “Have a seat, please. I’m just reading over the motion.” He looked up at Quinn. “Your client is aware of the danger of removing the PO, correct?”

  “She is, Your Honor.”

  Shrewd eyes peered at her over the tops of his glasses and the judge frowned. “Was your jaw broken, Ms. Norton?”

  “No, sir.”

  “But you did receive a concussion, right?”

  She gave a tight nod.

  “So, why should I remove this order? Mr. Norton hurt you, and badly, I must say.”

  “I know, Your Honor, but I believe he suffers from untreated PTSD. After a week of mourning the loss of his friend, I spooked him in the middle of the night. He lashed out. I just happened to be there. I do not believe it was anything personal.”

  The judge tapped his pen on the desktop and stared at her for a long moment. “I’ve talked to your father and I would agree. I am hereby lifting the order, effective immediately. Mr. Norton does have to complete a forty week outpatient PTSD program. Have no further violations for five years. He owns a restaurant with a bar. Has he ever had a drinking problem?”

  Ember shook her head. “No, never. He hardly drinks, actually.”

  “Make sure he doesn’t. That will be all.”

  Quinn hustled her out of the judge’s office and back out to the main foyer. “That went better than I expected.”

  Nodding, she stepped against the wall so that other people could get by her. “So, Dad can get out of jail now and get back to his life, right?”

  Quinn nodded. “The charge has basically been dropped as long as he completes the counseling. If he falters, he’ll have to go back and face the criminal charges. Just don’t let him falter.”

  She shook her head. “I won’t. Thank you.”

  She walked down the street to the county jail and left
money for her father’s account. She wasn’t sure exactly when he would be released, but at least he’d have money for a cab when he did get out.

  Ember walked back to her car and slid behind the wheel, exhausted from worrying about everything. Surely her dad must feel even worse. When he got home there would be no one to meet him, no one to talk to. No little boy hugs.

  Her eyes welled with tears and she dashed them away. He would be out within a few hours, and they could go from there.

  She glanced at her cell phone, tempted to dial a number she’d only called once before yet had still memorized. It had been almost eighteen hours, and Zeke hadn’t called. Maybe he didn’t feel the same way she did.

  Damn. Was she really counting hours now?

  *****

  Zeke looked down at the cell phone in his hand and debated calling Ember. To see how she’d settled into the apartment. To see how Drew liked his room. To wish her almost Merry Christmas. To see if she still needed him as much as he needed her. He’d had daydreams from hell all night, taunting him with things that would never be.

  His phone buzzed, scaring the shit out of him. Ember’s name appeared on the screen.

  Dad’s getting out today.

  Panic clutched at his gut. So, he typed, is that good?

  Yes, I think so. We’ll see.

  Fury erupted in his chest and he almost smashed the phone against the dash. The guy that had damn near broken her jaw and left her marked was going to be near her again. And she was going to let him. Adrenaline poured through his system and it was all he could do not to leap out of the truck and find some poor schmuck to pound on in the street.

  In the corner of his brain, the tiny, little rational part started to make itself known. He took a deep, rib-expanding breath and battled back the negative emotion. Grabbing the pen and post-it pad from the dash cubby, he scrawled a note to remind himself of the incident next time he spoke with the counselor.

  Then the worry for her safety invaded. When he needed to be worrying about his own issues.

  Let me know when you meet with him, so that I can check on you afterwards.

  Ok. I will.