A Dangerous Love: Addicted To Him

by J Peach

  Blaze hummed. Stopping at a red light, he looked at me. “I’ll see you about nine, ten, somewhere around there.” Again I laughed. “Why the fuck you laughing though, I’m serious as fuck, yo.”

  “That’s why I’m laughing. Do you seriously think I’m going to stay up and wait for you then explain to King, who comes over to my place every morning at six for breakfast, why his friend is at my apartment? Nuh uh, baby. You cute and all, but yo looks at worth that fight. You can say fuck King all you want, but that’s my brother, I can’t.” My head was shaking the entire time I spoke. That nigga was crazy if he thought I was gon’ go against King. “Plus, I can’t go there with you. I’m kinda seeing someone right now.”

  Thinking about Sly was both a good and bad feeling. Good, because I honestly did want to see where things could go. Bad, because I wasn’t fully ready for a commitment. Even so, Sly and I had been going pretty heavy for seven years and whether I was ready to commit or not, I would drop all my head buddies just to see where things went. Besides, I didn’t want to be cause of whatever we might have had going south.

  “Well, you need to dead that shit now. Let that nigga know whatever y’all had is over,” Blaze said, giving me a sideways glance. “You sitting there rollin’ yo eyes when I’m serious as fuck. I don’t share.”

  “That’s good to know because I’m not something that can be shared. Which is why I’m letting you know now that us, this, can’t go anywhere. We can be cool though, but it can’t go past that.” I told him truthfully, leading folks on wasn’t something I did for the simple fact that I wouldn’t want anyone to do me like that and hurt me in the end.

  “Yeah, i’ight,” was all he said before turning up the radio ending the conversation.

  Okay…

  Blaze pulled into my apartment complex and parked next to my car. He still hadn’t said a word to me after turning up the radio and I didn’t necessarily like that. After turning down the stereo I turned to face him.

  “Thanks for dinner and the ride. Maybe one day we’ll do this again.”

  “Most definitely we will. I’ll be over here one day this week to finish what we started. A nigga just got out, you can’t be playing no pussy games with me.” Pushing my door open, I got out as he was still talking.

  “You a rude ass nigga, I swear. Bye Blaze, as always it was nice running into you.” Shaking my head I closed the front door then got my bags out his hatchback.

  “Why you rushing to get out, I can’t bullshit with you now?” He asked with a sexy smile on his lips.

  “No, because you’re not bullshittin’.”

  “Hell nall I ain’t, but still, you can invite me in.” Laughing, I closed the doors then walked around to the driver’s door as Blaze was getting out.

  “You don’t seem like the type to wait for an invitation, so what’s the point in me doing so? Plus, I thought you had somewhere to be?” I leaned against the driver’s side door.

  “I don’t wait for shit. I take what I want. Why you think I’m telling you to get rid of this nigga? I’m being nice about the shit, but you think I’m bullshittin’. I’m not baby girl, I’m serious as fuck right now. You gon’ see.” Tilting my chin, Blaze bit at my bottom lip before pressing his lips into mine, giving them a simple peck. “I’ll catch you later.” Backing away, he gave me a once over before hopping in the truck, turning up the stereo, then reversing out.

  Oh my Damn, what the hell am I getting myself into? Mentally shaking myself, I made my way up the concrete stairs to my apartment. Once inside, I tossed my keys and wrist wallet on the table next to the door, then sat the bags at the closet.

  Shrugging off my black leather jacket and throwing it on the arm of my sofa, a laugh slipped through my lips.

  “That damn man is crazy as hell.” I laughed to myself as I thought about Blaze’s persistence. Never in my life had I came across a nigga like that and for the life of me I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling of Blaze being a problem. Even with those thoughts I still couldn’t contain the stupid smile on my damn face or the light chuckles that left my mouth as I reflected on the time I’d just spent with him.

  Pussy games? Who says that to someone?

  Still laughing to myself, I kicked off my black flats and then pulled off my dark blue skinny jeans leaving me with just black boy-short panties and a black fitted polo shirt on. Looking over at my book-bag, I groaned out a sigh before reaching over and pulling it to me. After putting on my small framed, clear purple glasses, I got a pot of Folgers coffee going then flopped down the couch. Getting my Biology book, I started on my unfinished homework.

  CHAPTER 10

  About an hour and a half later I pushed my glasses up on my head and rubbed my eyes. I was happy that I was almost finished, all I had left to do was Math and then I could take my ass to bed. But I was in a groove as a shuffle of Trey Songs, Pleasure P, and Beyoncé played from the iPod that was hooked on the dock speakers playing softly.

  I hummed to Beyoncé’s Drunk in Love as I started on my homework again. Before I could really get back into the flow, my buzzer rang, indicating someone was outside my building. Getting up and walking to the door, I pressed the intercom.

  “Who is it?” I didn’t get a response the first or second time I asked. Thinking someone pressed the wrong buzzer and either got in or left, I went back to the couch and sat down. As soon as my butt touched the sofa there was a knock on the door. “Son of a bitch.” Now knowing it was one of my childish ass friends, I went to the door again, this time snatching it open. “Why the hell you… Blaze. Oh. Nigga, why you playing at my damn door?” I asked him while folding my arms under my chest.

  “You always answer the door like this?” He asked, letting his eyes slowly roam before looking past me into my living room. “You got company?” He must have heard the music playing.

  “No, I’m doing homework like I told you. Come in,” stepping out the way I let him inside. “What you doing here and how did you get in?” I asked. Blaze looked around the living room, seeing my textbooks and notebook he picked it up, reading over what I’d done so far. Walking over to him, I took it back and then sat it back down. “Homework, wanna do it for me?”

  “Nall, you got it,” he said, while reaching in his pocket. “I took yo phone, that mothafucka ring too damn much. I was ‘bout to toss that bitch,” Blaze answered instead.

  “Oh, wow. I forgot you even had it, no wonder it was so damn quiet around here. Thanks.” Taking my phone, I sat it on top of my notebook as I caught Blaze’s eyes on my bare thighs. “Let me go put on some clothes.”

  “You straight how you is. You can lose the shirt, though.” His deep voice had my pussy muscles tightening and the fingers moving up my side wasn’t helping that feeling. Blaze’s left hand slipped under the back of my shirt, coming to the clamps of my bra. His other hand moved across my pelvis, causing my eyes to close as thoughts of his big, strong, callused hands grasping my breast, squeezing while the rough calluses brushed against my nipples, making them erect.

  The finger pushing through my pussy slit and rubbing my swollen clit had my eyes snapping open and my body jumping back, away from him.

  “You, you should go.” I panted. My eyes closed once more, taking in a deep breath, I let it out. God, I could still feel his fingers playing with my throbbing pearl. Ignoring what I said, Blaze tried to grab me, but I quickly moved back to the other side of the couch then hurriedly making my way to the front door. “Blaze, I don’ already told you I’m not going there with you. Come on now, you gotda go.” Waving my hand toward the open door, I urged him out.

  “Damn, I fucks with you that bad, huh?” He thought the shit was funny.

  “No you don’t—. You know what? It don’t even matter, just get out. I told you I’m seeing someone so you have to go.” Blaze laughed as he walked toward me.

  “You still saying that shit? I’m tellin’ you, lose that nigga. I got a car full, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be going no damn where. Keep playin yo
little ass games with yo’self, you ain’t fooling me though. I know what you want me just as I do you. Once you quit this bullshit you can have me,” Blaze saying that broke my tensed posture, making me laugh.

  “You right, I want you, ain’t no denying it. But you’re not my type.” I pushed him the rest of the way out as I talked, once he was on the other side of the door, I bit into my lip, looking him over, slowly taking in his semi-baggy, dark blue Gucci jeans that hung low below his butt. My eyes made their way to his loose fitting yellow Gucci shirt that matched his pants, then to the Pacer’s snapback that sat halfway on the right side of his head before meeting his eye. Blaze was everything I didn’t want in a man. “Looks can only get you so far with me, which isn’t really that far. Night, Blaze,” giving him another smile, I closed the door and locked it.

  “Oh we gon’ get far, baby, you already mine, that’s what you failing to realize. You gon’ see, believe that,” Blaze said from the other side of the door.

  I bit into my bottom lip with a stupid smile on my face as I turned to look out the peephole, seeing his retrieving back.

  He was most definitely going to be a fuckin’ problem.

  After making myself another cup of coffee I went to sit back on the couch. Resting my back on the arm of the couch, I brought my knees up, then sat my biology book on my propped up legs as well as my note book. Halfway through the page I heard keys jingling, causing me to look up just in time to see my front door opening. Locking eyes with his beautiful light brown ones for a second, I turning my attention back to my book.

  It wasn’t long after my book was pulled from my lap. I was never gon’ get finished with this shit.

  “What you doing here, I thought you were pissed at me?”

  “I was, I still am. Peaches, I know you a flirt, but kissing niggas that shit ain’t gon’ fly. You can’t be doing that bullshit, then you gon’ do it in front of me. If you not ready for this then tell me now,” Sly said, looking me in the eyes.

  Lifting up, I climbed into his lap. “Sly, you already know how I feel about relationships. But truthfully, I’m honestly not ready. Regardless of that, I’m willing to give us a try.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, my fingers caressed the back of his head.

  “So I didn’t see Blaze just leave here?” Letting out a heavy sigh, I got off his lap.

  “Sly, you’re trying to start a fight.”

  “No the fuck I’m not, Peaches. But if you gon’ be fuckin’ with that nigga, let me know now and I’ll stop fuckin’ trying.” Sly snapped, getting up, pissed, the redness in his face showed he was angry. That was the reason I didn’t want a relationship. Besides King ruining shit, I wasn’t up for the bullshit drama a relationship brought. I didn’t want to stand around arguing with a nigga about shit.

  “Yeah, he was here. So what? It ain’t like we did shit, he brought me my fuckin’ phone back.”

  “He brought yo phone back? Why the fuck he have yo damn phone? How he even get it?” Throwing my hands up, I let out an irritated sigh.

  “If you shut the hell up and let me talk then yo dumbass would know why, damn!” I snapped at him.

  “Okay, talk.” This nigga had his fuckin’ nerve. “You ain’t saying shit, Peaches. Why the fuck was he here?” Sly yelled again, getting in my face this time. I wasn’t about to argue with that dumbass fool when he wasn’t listening.

  “Sly, I’m not about to argue with you,” in the middle of me talking, I turned away from him only to have Sly grab my arm and snatch me back to him.

  “Hell nall, don’t walk away. We ’bout to talk about this shit now.” Jerking out of his hold, I turned around, punched him in his jaw, then pushed him away from me.

  “Don’t come in here fuckin’ snatching on me when I was trying to tell you what happened and you wanted to cut me off. If you want to stop trying then do so, that’s your choice. I’m not gon’ beg yo ass. You here in my shit ‘cause you wanna be, not once did I call you over. Blaze and I hung out, so fuckin’ what? That’s all we did, talked and ate, then he brought me home. He came back because he had my phone, that’s it.” I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down. Exhaling, I licked my lips before staring back at Sly.

  “I already told him we couldn’t be anything more than friends for the simple fact I was kinda seeing someone. Talking about yo dumbass, but if you gon’ stand here bitchin’ with that jealousy, shit, then we might as well not even fuckin’ try. The door is right behind you, yo ass can walk out that mothafucka at any time and we still gon be cool. But I’m not about to kiss yo ass because you wanna be jealous all of sudden.” I snapped at him even though most of everything I said was true, except the part about nothing happening.

  He already didn’t like Blaze being around and telling him the whole truth was only going to prolong this stupid ass argument he wanted to have.

  A part of me was hoping he would say fuck it and walk away, but there was also this very small part in me that wanted it to work. Sly was about the only descent guy out here that I knew and could trust not to be on bullshit with cheating behind my back. I wanted to have a normal relationship with a guy that was on his shit; that had a life outside of dealing. Sly was clean, he had a legit job, an actual career and I wanted that in my man. I didn’t want to be no one’s dependent.

  Hearing Sly sighing, I rolled my eyes already knowing where his head was at.

  “Nope, no. Don’t touch me Sly, go on somewhere.” Pushing out of his hold, I moved away from him.

  “I’m sorry, but aside from business, I don’t trust him. He don’ already made it clear he didn’t care who you’re with and I know him, Peaches. He got his eyes set on you and I don’t want you to fall for his bullshit. Baby, I don’t want to lose you before I fully get you.” He was so cheesy, but his cheesiness was what I liked about him. Sly wasn’t the hardest dude around, but he was hella sweet and corny as hell. How he got in the mix with King and his bullshit was beyond me.

  Probably with a fuckin’ proportion.

  “If you lose me it won’t be because of Blaze. Sly, I don’t know how many times you want me to say it, but whether I’m ready or not, I want this to work. I don’t want to be the reason it doesn’t, so once we make things official my little friends are gone, I swear. And Blaze is not one of those friends. When have I ever lied to you about anything? I’ve always been straight with you, haven’t I?” Besides the thing with Blaze, I’d never lied to him about anything.

  “You right, I can’t help my reaction when it comes to you though. I’m sorry,” he mumbled the last bit while walking closer to me. “Am I forgiven?” His hands came to my hips gripping them tight.

  “No, Sly. Stop, put me down. I’m mad at you.” My eyes rolled in my head as I tried to put on a serious façade that quickly failed once we fell down on the couch and his finger attacked my sides. “Sly, stop!” I laughed out loud while wiggling underneath him.

  “First, say you forgive me.” My stomach was so tight from his fingers wreaking havoc on my sides. “Say it.”

  “You’re forgiven, Sly!” I hollered, bucking my hips, trying to throw him off me.

  Sly laughed before stopping and looking down at me. “Yo ass just saying that so I can stop,” he stated.

  Twisting my lips to the side, trying to keep from smiling right away, I looked away from him then back. “So what? I’m playing, Sly, stop. You’re forgiven, I swear. Gimme a kiss.” After saying that, Sly broke out laughing. He then pecked my lips before getting, “Oh, you haven’t seen me in how long? And that’s how you kiss me?” I asked jokingly, making him stop to come back for another kiss before I pushed him away. “Nuh uh, don’t try to kiss me good now.” Even though those words left my mouth, I jumped on him nonetheless, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs at his waist. “You staying the night?” Humming, Sly leaned in and pecked my lips once, then twice.

  “Yeah, I missed laying next to you.” My left hand ran over his silky black hair as I sucked on his bottom lip, then the top,
giving his lips a lingering peck. I pulled back, resting my forehead against his. “You missed me too?” There wasn’t a point in lying, I did miss sleeping with him. For the last four years I’d gotten used to him being next to me most nights since I’d had this apartment.

  “Sabes que me hace falta tu a mi lado.” You know I missed the feel of you next to me.) I mumbled, puckering my lips. Humming, Sly lowered his head pressing his lips to mine. “Eep!” A squeak left my mouth from the unexpected down. “Cabŕon,” Asshole. I said as Sly dropped me on the bed.

  “I’m not eating yo pussy so don’t try to run your little game on me.” My mouth opened then closed, making him laugh. “That’s what I thought, scoot yo ass over.” Grabbing my pillow, I hit him.

  “I wasn’t going to ask you to. I did miss you sleeping with me. Bae, I’m not running game on you, never with you. Now come on, get naked and lay with me.” I moved over, patting the side of the bed he’d occupied for the past four years. Taking off my shirt and undoing my bra, I tossed it to the side. “Give me your shirt.” Sly took off his shirt, giving it to me, then removed his jeans. Pulling the covers back, he got in the bed and made himself comfortable. Once he was, I laid my body halfway on top of his. Placing my right leg between his with my head on his chest, Sly kissed my forehead as his fingers began drawing invisible circles on my thigh.

  “When we tell King, I want you to marry me.” Letting out a yawn, I sighed. “What’s that for?” Sly asked, tracing my fingers over his toned chest. I placed a kiss on his left peck.

  “I don’t want to be a downer.”

  “Then don’t. All you have to do is say yes when I ask. Time is nothing, I’ll wait as long as you want until you’re ready. Just knowing your mine is all that matters.” Smiling, I kissed his left nipple then continued to kiss my way up to his throat, then chin. Bringing my body fully on top of Sly’s, my mouth came to his.