by JL Paul
“I live with my mother and my little cousin. Um, my father – well, your guess is as good as mine but I do know he loved eighties music too. Hell, for all I know my father is Jon Bon Jovi or Steven Tyler. At any rate, my mom has the candidates narrowed down to three of four. Possibly five.” I smiled sarcastically and continued. Why not? I was on a roll. “My mother’s parents are loaded and think my mother is a disgrace. They finally noticed me when I made principal’s honor roll all throughout elementary and middle school. That’s when they decided to put me in a private high school and pay for my college. My mother’s house is exactly nineteen minutes from my college campus but my grandparents insist I live in the dorms. They think that if I’m away from my mother, I’ll turn into a refined young lady.” I snorted and kissed Lucas on the mouth. “So much for that, huh?”
The pregnant pause nearly killed me until they all three laughed. I had to join them because really, my life was a big joke. Lucas put an arm around me and pulled me closer.
“What’s the deal with the little cousin?” Lucas asked.
I sighed and smiled. “My mother’s older sister is worse than my mother. She just dumped her son on us a few years ago and my mother raises him. He has…needs but he is a sweet, wonderful boy and I love him like he was my own.”
Lucas looked at me – really looked at me. Then he smiled and it was genuine. “Sounds like you have a wonderful family.”
I couldn’t believe it. A smile I had no control over spread across my lips. “We are.”
Collin shifted uncomfortably in his chair drawing my attention away from Lucas’s beautiful face. He smiled apologetically at me as he tossed a folded scrap of paper on the table. “Look, I know you two have some sort of arrangement and that’s cool.” He winked at me and I automatically loved him. He knew everything but he wasn’t judging. “Um, that Amber girl, she gave me her number to give to you, Luke and you do with it what you want. I’m giving it to you now because I won’t hide stuff and you know that.”
“I know man,” Lucas said. He made no attempt to grab it and shove it in his pocket or rip it up. And that bugged me. But I tried to ignore it.
“So, Irelyn,” Spencer said in an attempt to disperse the tension. “Talk to Bailey, huh?”
“Of course,” I said as I patted his hand. “But watch it – she’ll break your heart.”
“I’m really hoping she does,” he said with a sigh. I laughed and it turned into a yawn.
“Okay, fellas, I’m putting Irelyn to bed. See you in the morning,” Lucas announced. Getting up from the table, I waved at them.
“Thanks,” I said.
Once Lucas led me to his bedroom, he tucked me in his bed. He scooted next to me and kissed me softly. “Goodnight, love,” he whispered.
“Goodnight,” I said as I cuddled into him.
***
His lips lingered over mine when he parked in front of my dorm and I was just as reluctant to let him go.
“We’re playing at a club downtown tonight,” he murmured between kisses. “In case you get bored.”
Edging back, I nodded, my eyes on the floorboards. I wanted to go see him but I had a standing dinner date with the grandparents. And Dustin. “Um, I have to have dinner tonight with my family,” I explained.
He lifted my chin and grinned, eyes crinkling in the corners. “Don’t sweat it, love. I just thought if you didn’t have anything to do…”
“I can’t,” I said, distressed.
He lifted a nonchalant shoulder. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you Friday, then.”
“Sure,” I said as I tried to smile. I pecked him on the lips and escaped to my dorm.
***
Dustin was preoccupied all throughout dinner but I barely noticed. All I could think about was what club Lucas was playing at and would Amber Gordon be there.
“So, Willamina,” my grandmother said as we tucked into our dessert. “When will Thomas be ready for his first recital?”
“Well,” Mom responded, twirling her pudding spoon on the table. “I’m not sure, exactly. Mrs. Freeport hasn’t said. Thomas has only been taking lessons a couple of weeks. He’s not even through all his scales yet.”
“But he is a prodigy,” Grandfather declared. “He shouldn’t waste his time with scales and beginner’s lessons.” Grandfather huffed as he set his spoon aside.
“Perhaps it’s time we take over his schooling. I have a friend on the board at Torrison’s School of the Arts. I’ll speak to him and see if we can’t enroll Thomas next semester.”
“But,” I objected. “He likes his school. He has friends and he’s doing well.”
“Irelyn, this doesn’t concern you,” Grandfather admonished. “We’ve always taken a hand in your education since your mother can’t.”
I burned with white fury. It scorched my stomach, my liver, my lungs, everything. I wanted to stand up and shout at them – put them in their place as they had just done to my mother. But I didn’t. I ducked my head over my pudding as Dustin took my hand under the table. He gave it a squeeze and I peeked at him. He smiled in understanding. I loved him.
After dinner, Dustin drove me home to change before taking me to a movie. He draped an arm around me as we watched the film, though I don’t think either of us really saw it. My mind was still on my grandparents’ insistence on interfering in Tommy’s life while his was…elsewhere.
That night, as I stared at my ceiling with the blankets tucked neatly around my body, I wondered if I was so self-centered that I didn’t even bother finding out what was bothering Dustin. Yes, I was concerned with Tommy’s future and what a school change would do to him, but Dustin needed me, too.
With a heavy sigh, I got up and found my phone. My heart gave a little flutter when he answered.
“Hey, Irelyn,” he said. “Are you okay?”
“Dustin, I’m so sorry,” I began. “Something was obviously on your mind tonight and I didn’t even bother to talk to you about it.”
He chuckled in my ear, drawing a smile to my face. “It’s nothing, sweetheart, I promise. I’m worrying over a couple decisions I have to make.”
“What decisions?” I persisted. “Can I help?”
“No, but I appreciate it,” he said softly. “Actually, just you calling to check on me helps immensely. Get some sleep and we’ll get together tomorrow before I drive back.”
“Okay,” I said, still slightly worried.
“I love you, Irelyn,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” I said. I closed my phone and my eyes, wondering if I loved him as much as he loved me.
***
“Mom,” I asked the next morning as I sat at the table, watching her dance around the kitchen. Her portable CD player sat on the counter, volume low, with one of her mixed CD’s playing. In the living room, melodic music floated in the air as Tommy practiced songs from one of his music books.
“Yes, dear?” Mom asked with a smile. “Something wrong?”
“Have you ever been in love?” I asked.
Her smile softened. “Oh, once.”
Pulling out a chair, she joined me, dreamy expression in her eyes. “He formed the first garage band that I was in. His name was Lonnie Campbell and he was so handsome. He was three years older than me, tall with strong shoulders and long hair. Long hair was sexy back in my day,” she said with an adorable smirk. I laughed. “He loved me, too, and I think, if things had worked out a little better, that I would have married him.”
“What happened?” I whispered, mesmerized by this side of my mother.
“Oh,” she said with a wave of her hand. “My parents didn’t approve. I broke up with him and he moved to Chicago after he graduated to try to make a go of his band.” She sighed but the soft smile remained on her face. “It hurt and finally, I decided that I didn’t need my parents’ approval. I quit school and took off that summer to live my life.”
“Do you regret anything?” I asked.
Her eyes warmed as she gazed at me. �
��Maybe a few things.” She straightened and furrowed her brow. “Is something wrong with you and Dustin?”
It was on the tip of my tongue to release everything – to open the proverbial floodgates and tell her what I’d been up to lately. But I didn’t. I wasn’t ready to solve my problem. I wanted both of them still and even though I knew I was being selfish, at least I was being honest with myself.
“No, not at all,” I said, trying hard to reassure. “Just curious.”
She patted my hand before getting to her feet. “When you’re in love with someone, I mean really in love, you’ll know. I’m sure you’ve heard that before and probably don’t believe it – but it’s true.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said as I heard Dustin knock on the door. “I love you, I know that much.”
She hugged me and kissed my head. “And I love you, sweetie.”
***
I curled up on my bed with a notebook, pen and a story floating in my head. As soon as the tip of my pen touched the paper, the story flowed smoothly. I loved to write – perhaps because I could play God and manipulate the lives of my characters. I could make them writers or lawyers or rock stars. I could make them happy or sad or just plain stupid. I couldn’t seem to control my own life but I could certainly control the lives of the people I created.
This story would be happy, though. This story would be about a free-spirited, pretty girl who loved a boy so desperately but had to set him free so he could pursue his dreams of becoming a rock star. She stayed behind like an obedient daughter and attended college but thought of him often. Years later, she’d attend his concert – front row tickets of course – and he’d see her. He’d have her taken backstage where they would reunite and finally get their happily ever after.
I grinned at the cheesiness of the story as I closed my notebook hours later. So what? Mom finally got her happy ending.
I shut off the light and closed my eyes, wishing I could write my own story. But how would it go? Who would win? Who would lose? Who would get hurt? Who would live happily ever after? Would the heroine get the man of her dreams or would she settle for something else?
Groaning, I forced the thoughts out of my head. I was getting to be an expert at procrastinating and it didn’t sit well with me. I needed to just take the time to figure everything out. I opened my eyes to flip on the light. I dug out my notebook and made a list of my current problems – Lucas taking the number one position. Dustin came next followed by Tommy.
I chewed on the end of my pen as I glanced at my list. I’d figured out what my problems were – now what?
I slammed the notebook shut and tossed it across the room, the pen following. I felt totally ridiculous. So I’d made a list? How the hell was that supposed to help?
I had to return to school in the morning and it was the last week before Thanksgiving break. I needed to focus on my studies and leave the personal problems for my spare time. I had to procrastinate – it was necessary. I had to clear my mind to make room for my education. I’d spend the break sorting though the mess I called my life.
With that decided, I turned out the light again and snuggled under the blankets. As I drifted off, both Dustin and Lucas floated in my mind.
Chapter 7
Tuesday evening, I sat at the computer I shared with my roommates and added a few, finishing touches to an essay for my English class. Just as I was printing it out, Bailey and Morgan burst in the room, laughing, their cheeks rosy red from the chilly air.
“Grab your coat, Irelyn,” Morgan ordered. “We’re going to the rec room to hang out.”
“Why?” I asked as I collected the pages the printer spit at me. “What’s going on?”
Bailey laughed, her eyes shining. “Amber Gordon said she was going – she wants to play pool with a couple of her friends and we want to hear all about her date with Lucas Newton.”
My brows shot to my hairline as I gawked at them, pages spilling to the floor. “Why?”
Bailey strolled casually across the room and patted my head as though I were a cute puppy. Her eyes narrowed as she smiled cruelly. “Because I don’t like her and I want to throw it in her face that she’s a liar. Now, get your coat and come with us.”
I couldn’t help but be enticed by the idea – I really wanted to see the girl put in her place. I collected my essay and placed it in a folder. After I located my shoes under my bed, I pulled them on while Morgan held my coat.
Once we entered the rowdy rec room, Bailey made a beeline for the pool tables. I followed a little less confidently, towing Morgan behind me. We sat at a table and watched the matches in progress. I only knew the basics of pool and wasn’t very good at it though I had played a few times on the table at the pub where Mom worked. I was able to figure out who was winning and managed to get lost in a game until Bailey elbowed me and pointed at the door.
Amber Gordon strolled inside accompanied by one of her friends. She was pretty – she had her light red hair pulled in a pony tail and tight jeans showing off her curvy figure. Her breasts were as large as Bailey’s and she displayed them prominently under her tight sweater.
She waggled her fingers at Bailey as she made her way to our table. “Are you waiting for a table?”
“Nah,” Bailey said. “We were bored so we thought we’d hang out.”
“Good, because I bet Holly that I could wipe the table with her,” Amber said, grinning at her friend. “You guys can cheer me on.”
When a soft snort escaped my body, Morgan kicked me. I turned my snort into a cough when Amber’s green eyes fell on me. I smiled apologetically. “Sorry – fighting a head cold.”
“I don’t think we’ve met,” she said. “I’m Amber Gordon. And you are?”
“Irelyn Colby. Bailey, Morgan, and I are roommates,” I told her. She eyed me speculatively before smiling smugly. I ignored it. She had no reason to be smug – she may have the looks and the body but I had the man.
Amber placed a stack of quarters on a pool table to mark her spot in line before returning to our table. She sat next to Bailey, motioning for Holly to pull up a chair. “I saw you guys at Rusty’s Friday night. Do you like Out Back?”
“Yeah,” Morgan said, glancing nervously at me. “They’re good.”
“I know,” Amber said. She picked at the chipped nail polish on her thumb. “Damn. I hate this cheap shit nail polish.” Sighing, she dropped her hands. “Yeah, they are. And so delicious, too.”
My heart perked, preparing for whatever this skank had to say. My fists clenched under the table but I was busy concentrating on keeping my breathing even.
“Hey, didn’t you say you had a date with Lucas Friday night?” Bailey asked in a perfectly cool voice. She turned her head slowly to Amber, a semi-interested brow raised. “I thought you mentioned that in class last week.”
“Oh,” Amber said with an eye roll. “That was a miscommunication on my part. I didn’t get to go out with him Friday but I did go downtown Saturday to watch him play at the Horse Shoe Club. We got together after his set.”
My heart splattered against my ribs as jealousy, fury, and pain battled to be the dominant emotion. My fists clenched tighter, my stubby nails bit into my skin. I gnawed on the inside of my cheek to prevent my mouth from opening. I absolutely could not let this girl know that I was seeing Lucas. I didn’t think she knew my grandparents or Dustin, but I couldn’t take the chance.
Still, I wanted to punch her in the full lips and kick her in the gut so she knew exactly how I was feeling.
Bailey was slightly ruffled. Her carefully controlled mask had slipped and I could see a little concern and shock in her eyes. “Oh, really?” she said in an effort to appear nonchalant. “What did you two do?”
Amber’s painted lips curled into a knowing grin that I did not like at all. “Oh, I’m not the type to kiss and tell.”
Something inside of me snapped and it was Morgan’s inconspicuous hand on my shoulder that kept me from lunging across the table at Amber. I clamped m
y lips shut, sucking oxygen in through my nostrils.
Bailey tensed as she hurried to end the conversation. “Hm, so, I suppose you’ll see him again Friday at Rusty’s, huh?”
“Of course,” she said as a pool table opened up and she rushed to claim it. “He can’t get enough of me.” She stuck her quarters in the slot while Holly chose a pool cue.
I got up and stretched, trying to keep my anger from becoming obvious. I smiled at Amber’s friend. “Well, I need to finish my English essay,” I announced to Morgan and Bailey. “I’ll see you two back in the room.”
“I have some reading to finish,” Morgan said. “I’ll come with you.”
Shrugging, Bailey joined us.
“Irelyn,” Morgan began as soon as the rec room door shut behind us. “She’s probably lying. And even if she’s not, you know you have no right to be mad at him.”
“I’m not mad,” I said, though I didn’t even sound convincing to myself. “Not at all.”
“You are so pissed,” Bailey said with glee. “What are you going to do?”
We made it to our room but instead of taking off my coat, I grabbed my bag and keys. “I’m going to his house. We’ll hash this out once and for all.”
***
My anger surfed a wave of emotion – dancing up and down- the whole way to Lucas’s house. By the time I parked in front of his place and stormed up to the porch, I didn’t even know what I was feeling.
I pounded on the door, determined to get answers.
“Come in!” he shouted from inside, setting my heart into orbit.
Pulling the door open, I stepped shyly inside – my confidence remaining on the porch.
The living room was smaller than my mother’s with mismatched furniture and a huge television. Posters of popular bands were taped to the walls in place of fine art and photographs.
And Lucas lounged on the sofa, in jeans and a white t-shirt, remote control in hand, feet propped on the coffee table. Dropping his legs and the remote, he got to his feet, astonishment in his eyes.