All The Wrong Reasons

by JL Paul

  I wriggled to my back so I could admire what features I could see in the dark. I toyed with his bare chest as I spoke. “And the good guy is a musically talented man who is incredibly sexy and wonderful and possibly from another country?”

  He grinned and kissed me. “Not at all – that’s the bad guy. And I don’t care if he wins or loses – that doesn’t make a difference.” He shifted and hovered over me, kissing me again -and again and again – each kiss lasting a little longer than the previous one. His lips lingered over mine as he whispered: “I just want the bad guy to get the girl.”

  Chapter 11

  Tommy was bouncing off the walls when I walked through the door late Saturday morning. I was a little grumpy - not in the mood for young boy exuberance - so I held him off while I tromped to my room and gathered some clothes for a shower.

  I tried not to think about Lucas while I washed my hair and scrubbed my body – that would only heat me up and force me to turn the water temperature down. And I was already in a dark mood because I hadn’t wanted to leave him this morning. I never wanted to leave him in the mornings but today was worse than usual.

  Maybe because he woke first and stirred me from sleep with sweet kisses that eventually turn hot. Maybe because I just couldn’t seem to get enough of him. Maybe because my heart saw him as more than just a fling and my brain was starting to, too.

  After I showered and dressed, I headed downstairs where Tommy waited patiently on his piano stool. Smiling apologetically, I perched beside him. I pecked his cheek.

  “What’s up, Tommy?”

  “I like the new school, Irelyn,” he said, his eyes shining. “I can play the piano all day.”

  My mind stuttered as I froze, gawking at him. He smiled gently and I shook my head to get it started again. “You, what? You like Torrison’s?”

  “Aunt Mina took me there. I still have to do math and reading but I get to play the piano. And Bobby Luther will show me around. He plays the piano. He’s ten. He’s nice. He said he would be my friend.”

  “You…you really like the school?” I asked. He nodded and spun on the bench to face the piano. “So, you want to go?”

  “Yes.” He plucked at the keys absently but I could tell he was itching to play and I was preventing him from doing so.

  “Well, good,” I said. “Um, okay. I’ll get out of your way.”

  I found my mother in the kitchen as Tommy’s fingers let loose on the keys. I grinned at her before giving her a huge hug.

  “Tommy is so excited,” my mother said. “And it will be so good for him. He’s opened up a lot more to me. Oh, he’s still very particular, you know – wants his things arranged just so and keeps to his schedule – but he’s starting to really open up.”

  “That’s great,” I said, beaming. Maybe Grandfather was right about this school. Tommy seemed excited and already had a tentative friend. “I’m going to go call Dustin. I’ve hardly talked to him all week.”

  ***

  Whispering Winds was decked out in breathtaking Christmas décor. Lighted garland hung in every doorway as sparkling stars and snowflakes hung from the ceilings. Huge seven foot Christmas trees decorated a corner in every room, their fresh, piney scent lingering in the air and reminding everyone of Christmases long ago.

  All the tables in the dining room sported red or green table cloths with lightly scented candles flickering on top. Brass reindeer pranced across the mantle of the huge fireplace as green and red stockings hung in front of the roaring fire.

  I detested Whispering Winds but at Christmas – it completely and utterly stole my heart. The décor was lovely and expensive but also tastefully done to where you wished you could decorate your own home the same way.

  “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Dustin asked as he escorted me to my grandparents’ table.

  “Yes, it is very beautiful,” I concurred. “I’ve always loved the decorations.”

  He held my chair for me and I smiled my thanks. I caught my grandfather’s nod of approval out of the corner of my eye as Dustin dropped next to me.

  I was only slightly surprised to see Martin and Vivian Summerlin sitting across from me. They belonged to the club but didn’t make it a routine to eat there every Saturday.

  “Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Summerlin,” I said with a polite smile. They’d given me permission long ago to call them by their given names but I wasn’t allowed to do so in front of my grandparents. They believed children and young people were far too familiar with their elders these days and that I should continue to address the Summerlins formerly until I was married into their family.

  “It’s so nice to see you again, dear,” Mrs. Summerlin said. “You and Dustin have been so busy that I never see the two of you together.”

  I smiled again. I did genuinely like Dustin’s mother. She was a warm, caring person who’d passed some of that to her son. Mr. Summerlin, on the other hand, was a little harder to please. Oh, we got along just fine – always had, but I always secretly thought that he was vying to take over my grandfather’s position as most formal, stuffy man once my grandfather passed. He had a ways to go – but he was getting there.

  “Hopefully things will settle down during break,” I said. “Then I can come over and visit if you’d like.”

  “I’d like that, dear,” she said.

  Grandfather interrupted with an update on Tommy’s school. He announced that Tommy approved and that he’d start once school resumed in January – like it mattered or not if Tommy approved.

  Tommy ducked his head over his plate, embarrassed to be the center of attention, and I wished I was sitting closer to him. Mom draped an arm over his shoulder and he perked. I guess he was opening up.

  “See, I told you,” Dustin whispered in my ear. I furrowed my brow, wondering what he thought he’d told me. If he meant that it would all work out, well then he was right. But he wasn’t the one who’d suggested Tommy take a tour and be asked his opinion.

  Stop thinking of Lucas, I ordered my brain. I couldn’t think about him while I was surrounded by my family and Dustin’s. That seemed almost as bad as the actual cheating itself.

  Dinner couldn’t pass quickly enough for me. I did, however, endure – but not without costs. My cheeks were aching from forced, fake smiles and my stomach was still rumbling. The entrees at the club were large on price but low on sustenance. I was dying to leave and run through the drive-thru of the nearest fast food restaurant.

  Dustin grinned when he heard my stomach object and leaned in to whisper in my ear. “As soon as we’re excused, I’ll take you for some real food.”

  His smile reminded me of the day I met him and how in love I used to be.

  Used to be? my brain asked. I, like always, pushed the question aside so I could force one more smile to my face.

  I hated that I had to ask to be excused but that was expected here in the world of the rich and the posing. Dustin did the honors and my grandfather nodded, a small smile toying on his lips. My heart fell to my shoes. Was Dustin intending on proposing tonight?

  He did indeed indulge me with fast food as we took a drive through Indianapolis to admire the festive displays of light. I forced as much food down as I could since my once ravenous hunger suddenly evaporated.

  We passed the Horse Shoe Club and I wondered if Lucas was playing there tonight. I knew that he had in the past but I hadn’t asked this morning if he would be this weekend. An inkling of anger and jealousy swirled in my stomach, interrupting the digestion of the cheeseburger I’d choked down, as I imagined Amber there, close to the stage, watching. My fingers itched to scratch her eyes out and my knuckles longed to punch her – just once.

  “Are you listening to me, Irelyn?” Dustin asked.

  “Huh?” I said and he chuckled and fumbled for my hand.

  “I said, are you excited about Christmas?”

  “Oh, no, not really,” I admitted. “I haven’t even started shopping yet.”

  “Well, it’s close �
� you’d better hurry.” I smiled at him as we passed under a streetlight. “I’ll help you out and let you know what I’d like for Christmas.”

  I suppressed my frustrated groan, hoping he wouldn’t ask for another weekend with me. I wasn’t exactly sure that I wanted to go away again, much less…

  What the hell was I thinking? I don’t want to sleep with my own boyfriend anymore? What was wrong with me?

  “Do you want to know?” he persisted.

  “Oh, yeah, sure,” I said with faux enthusiasm. “Lay it on me.”

  Chuckling, he kissed the back of my hand. “I’d like for you to honestly consider marrying me soon.”

  My heart stopped and my breath came out in little wheezes. I scrambled to come up with the right thing to say – something that would appease him but not give him the wrong impression. “Um, Dustin – don’t you think we’re a little young?”

  “No,” he snorted. “Not at all. I figure we can marry in a year or so and live off my trust fund. You can finish college if you want but you won’t have to work. You can stay home and engage in your little writing hobby.”

  “It’s more than a hobby, Dustin,” I said through clenched teeth. “It’s what I love to do most. I want to be a writer, you know.”

  “I know,” he sighed. “I know. But you do realize how hard it is to be published? You have to be extremely good.”

  “How do you know I’m not?” I asked, tears prickling my eyes. “Huh?”

  “I’m sure you are, sweetheart,” he said in a patronizing tone. It riled me up more, making me totally speechless. How could he love me but not know me?

  “Dustin, please take me home,” I whispered, too afraid if I put any more effort into speaking I’d explode.

  “Irelyn, come on,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry I upset you, okay? Let’s forget I said anything about writing or marriage or anything.”

  But my festive mood was spoiled – and not just by his words. I just couldn’t muster the energy to fake any enthusiasm for anything tonight. I just needed to get home to think.

  ***

  The week before finals crashed upon me so suddenly. I crammed all the studying I could in while enduring pleading phone calls from Dustin and dreams of Lucas. I accepted Dustin’s apology just to find a little peace but deep inside, I knew things were changing. I just didn’t know how much and what I would do about it. Like the good little procrastinator that I was, I put off thinking about it so I could focus on my studies.

  I wasn’t too concerned with finals because my classes were fairly easy. Still, I didn’t want to become too smug and over confident so every night, I cracked the books. I even told my mother I wouldn’t be home that weekend so I could remain on campus and utilize the library if needed. She understood seeing as once finals were finished, I’d be home for three whole weeks.

  After I finished my only class Friday morning, I lounged in the dorm, toying with another story, when Bailey smashed the silence with her presence.

  “Good, you’re here,” she said and sank on the corner of my bed. “You’re not going home this weekend, right?” I shook my head. “Pack a bag, woman. Lucas is sick and Collin is pulling his hair out.”

  I dropped my pen and scrambled closer to her. “What? What’s wrong with him? Is he in the hospital? Does he need a kidney?”

  “Don’t get all girly and dramatic,” she smirked. “It’s just the flu and he’s home in bed. They sent him home early from work yesterday and he stayed home today. They’re not even playing at Rusty’s tonight. He’s just being a whiny baby and driving Collin crazy – that’s what Spencer told me. I thought that you could go over there and take care of him and all that crap.”

  I nodded as I bit the inside of my cheek. I was pretty prepared for my finals but I could take my books over there anyway. I wanted to go – was burning to go. He was probably miserable and needed someone to look after him. His parents were all the way in Chicago and I was sure that even though Collin loved his brother, he was probably at the end of his rope. Poor Lucas.

  “Okay, let me get some stuff together,” I said. “And I better stop at the store.”

  Bailey dug in her purse and grabbed a wad of cash. She crammed it in my bag with a grin. “Here, the food is on me.” I didn’t say anything as I was torn between grateful and embarrassed. But she knew I had been dipping into my laptop money to finish my Christmas shopping.

  “Don’t say a word, Irelyn,” she warned, her eyes dark. “You know my parents send me enough money every month to feed a small country. Just take it – it’s for the boys, not you.”

  “Fine,” I sighed and gave her a quick hug. “Thanks.”

  ***

  Collin’s huge grin took up most of his face as he ushered me into the house. He relieved me of the grocery bags and I dropped my bag of clothes and books on the floor. I followed him into the kitchen as he set the bags on the table.

  “You are an angel, Irelyn,” he gushed. “What’s all this?”

  “Um,” I blushed. “Stuff to make soup. My mom makes a killer vegetable soup and I thought I’d make it for Lucas. Plus there’s other stuff in there like orange juice and cold medicine and things.”

  After hugging me again, Collin kissed the top of my head. “My brother is a lucky man. He’s sleeping right now – I gave him some Tylenol a little while ago because he was burning up with fever.”

  “Is he all right?” I asked as the blood drained from my face. “Did he see a doctor?”

  Collin shook his head in amusement. “He’s a man, Irelyn – he doesn’t go to the doctor unless he’s bleeding profusely or dying.”

  “Damn, stubborn men,” I muttered as I helped Collin unpack the groceries. “And I suppose neither of you got a flu shot, huh?”

  Collin grinned. “Lucas is afraid of needles.”

  I gawked at him. “Really?”

  “Yep,” Collin said, smug.

  “Did you get a flu shot?” I asked.

  The smug smile slipped into a sheepish frown. “Um, no. I don’t care for needles, either.”

  I shook my head at their idiocy and started preparing the soup. “That’s stupid. Just don’t look when they give you the injection.”

  He chuckled and squeezed my arm. “Hey, um, we’re not playing at Rusty’s tonight, obviously, so do you mind if I get out of here? I’d rather not be exposed to anymore of Luke’s nasty germs.”

  “Sure, go,” I said with a giggle. He kissed the top of my head as someone knocked on the door.

  “I’ll get that,” he announced.

  Shrugging carelessly, I continued chopping vegetables. But my ears perked when I heard a female voice. I dropped the knife, good thing, too, and crept closer to the kitchen door. My gut twisted as I heard Amber ask Collin about Lucas.

  “He’s not up for visitors right now,” Collin explained. “But I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

  “Can you give him this?” she asked. I couldn’t see what she wanted Lucas to have and was sorely tempted to peek. “It’s soup. I made it for him. I hope it helps him to feel better.”

  “Sure,” Collin said, amusement evident in his voice. “No problem.”

  “Sorry you guys aren’t playing at Rusty’s tonight. Do you think you will next week?”

  “If none of us are sick,” he said. “Thanks again, Amber, but I have to go. I have to um, check on Luke. See you around.”

  As soon as I heard the door shut, I returned to the vegetables but my hands were trembling, making it rather difficult to chop food and not fingers.

  “Soup. Good. I’m hungry,” I heard Luke’s hoarse voice say. He followed Collin into the kitchen wrapped in his bedspread. His eyes were red with dark circles underneath, his hair messy, and his face scruffy with whiskers. My heart went out to him as I longed to just take him in my arms and hold him until he was better.

  “Want me to heat it up?” Collin offered.

  But Lucas didn’t hear him. His eyes fell on me and a tiny smile started in the corners of h
is mouth. “Irelyn, what are you doing here? Don’t you have finals?”

  “Not until next week,” I said. I dropped the knife so I could hurry around the table to him. “You should be in bed,” I fussed as I held my hand to his hot forehead.

  “But I’m hungry,” he whined. “Someone brought soup.”

  Collin asked for my cell phone and I handed it to him as I tried to urge Lucas back to bed. “I’ll heat the soup up and make you a sandwich, if you want,” I said. He nodded but plopped into a chair, refusing to leave the kitchen. I sighed and poured him a glass of juice.

  “Okay,” Collin said as he handed me my phone. “My cell and Spencer’s cell are in there. Call me if you need me. You have everything under control so I’m out of here.” He stopped in front of Lucas to place a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “You’re in good hands, bro, but call me if you need me. I’m going to hang out with Spencer tonight. I’ll check on you later.”

  “Yeah, yeah, get out of here wuss,” Lucas teased. Collin squeezed his shoulder and left.

  I heated up the soup Amber brought and fixed a grilled cheese sandwich. I placed it in front of Lucas but he just kept staring at me.

  “Eat,” I ordered as I returned to the vegetables. His gaze was heavy, weighing me down, and I couldn’t look at it anymore.

  “What are you making?”

  “My mom’s vegetable soup. It’s really good when she makes it but I can do an okay job,” I said, my back to him.

  “I bet it’s great,” he said. I heard him pick up his spoon and stir his soup. “Did you make this?”

  “No,” I snorted. “Amber dropped it off.”

  “You’re kidding,” he groaned. I turned around to shake my head at him. He tried to smile. “I wonder if it’s poisoned.”

  “I doubt it,” I said. “She’s feeding it to you, not me.”