Losing to Win

by Michele Grant

  “Again, your eyes are focused in one direction only,” Burke teased.

  “Lord, what are Mama and Daddy gonna say when they find out you’re dating a white girl.” Mac guffawed. The Bissets put both the old and the school in “old school” and thought only women with Bayou roots tracing back a few generations were suitable for their sons.

  “They’ll remember I’m over thirty, it’s past the year 2010, and it’s none of their damn business. But more to the point, it’s not serious. We’re just having some laughs before she heads back to LA.” Burke shrugged.

  Corey rolled his eyes. “Yep, that’s how it starts.”

  “Ain’t that the truth,” XJ said.

  This conversation could take a turn to get all of us in trouble. I put my hands up. “Okay, enough. I’m going to pull out aprons and knitting needles in a second. Who saw the preseason game between Houston and Indianapolis?” With that, the conversation turned back to sports. I glanced at my watch. In about two hours, I was bailing and going to crash Girls’ Night. Damn the producers. Life was too short to waste time. Sure, there was a time when I would’ve appreciated hanging out with the guys. Right now, my focus wasn’t there. Maybe this is how I knew I was finally grown, when I’d rather stay home with my woman and watch TV than sit in a trendy bar with the fellas. And you know what? I was okay with it.

  26

  Girls’ night in

  Carissa—Saturday, August 8—11:20 p.m.

  “Well, Suzette, just feel free to leave.” I pointed to the door after she complained about God knew what for the sixth time that night.

  “I won’t stay where I’m not wanted. I believe I will head on back to my room for the night,” she said in her best Scarlett O’Hara voice. When no one tried to stop her, she pouted, snatching up her purse and slamming out the door of the suite. We were lounging in the penthouse suite of the Idlewild for this Girls’ Night In that Marcy and Bliss insisted we do.

  It was a three-room suite that used to be the fourth-floor attic of the great house. Unlike the other floors, this one had a completely contemporary look and feel. Sugar and Eloise had gone for an updated “glam meets Southern comfort” style. Plush beige carpets and blingy lighting meshed with oversized couches in sage and pale blue to dominate the living area.

  I rounded up Sugar, Ruby, and Taylor to join me and Niecy. We were all dressed in variations of the blue and green Losing to Win loungewear sets, because don’t you know that in “real life,” grown-ass women dress alike? Never mind that one of the girls was a complete pain in the ass; we were expected to hang out and pretend that at any minute we were going to braid each other’s hair, have pillow fights, and lip-sync to Taylor Swift songs. The click of the lock indicated that Suzette had indeed abandoned the evening.

  “Whew!” Sugar said. “That woman puts the itch in bitch and takes it all the way there and back!”

  Niecy shrugged. “Some women are just not happy and that right there is the manifestation of years of unhappiness.”

  “God, I hate it when women act like victims unnecessarily. She’s been that way for as long as I can remember. I tried to like her, I’ve tried to be nice, I’ve tried to ignore her. Now I’ve just decided not to care.” Taylor sighed.

  Ruby shifted on the wide, teal velvet chaise. “Let’s not waste any more time on Suzette. I’m trying to find out what’s going on with Sugar and Sexual Chocolate down there.”

  I sputtered into the iced green tea I was drinking. “Are you calling Lee McAdoo Sexual Chocolate?”

  “Doesn’t he look the part?” Ruby cackled.

  “Don’t you have a husband?” I reminded her.

  “Girl, even if the store is closed, you can window shop.” She grinned. “And I’ll bet Lee would look good oiled up standing in a window.”

  “Oh Lord,” Sugar moaned. “The last thing he needs is a bigger ego. He asked me to come to Denver to watch him play tomorrow.”

  “You going?” Taylor asked.

  “Hell yes.”

  “And then what?” Niecy asked.

  Sugar twirled her wine in her glass. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll talk about it after we get through the weekend.”

  Ruby huffed. “You and Carissa with these easy breezy ‘who cares what the future holds’ attitudes. I don’t know how you do it.”

  “I care what the future holds,” I explained. “I just don’t see any good in fretting about it right now.”

  “How do both Jordy and Malachi feel about that?” Niecy wondered.

  “I couldn’t say. They can either love it or leave it alone. I’m doing me,” I stated jauntily.

  “Oh, all right then, Carissa X. Go militant, why don’t you.” Taylor chuckled.

  “Well, Ms. Rhone, it’s better than doing nothing at all.” I arched a brow in her direction.

  “I know where you’re going with this and I don’t want to talk about it,” she said shortly.

  “Of course you don’t. That would be acknowledging that there’s something to talk about. Okay, then.” I turned my attention to Niecy. “What about you, ma’am? Looks like since we had the cupcake discussion, you are dispensing all flavors of sweet treats to Attorney Knight.”

  Niecy beamed with delight. “We’re enjoying ourselves. A lot.”

  Sugar piped up. “And to quote you, ‘and then what?’”

  “He said he wants me to come back to New Orleans with him when the show is done.”

  I squealed. “Are you going?”

  “I can’t see any reason not to,” she said with a coy smile.

  “Damn right,” I agreed with a nod of my head. I was about to ask for details when the suite door flew open.

  “Where the women at?” Lee bellowed as he led a motley crew of fellas into the henhouse.

  Mal, Mac, Burke, XJ, Jordan, Corey, and Lee entered with complete disregard to the producers’ plans for the night. Apparently the separation of the sexes was not working for them. I was surprised at Mal. Back in the day, a night out with the guys would mean I wouldn’t see or hear from him for hours. Lately, he didn’t let more than a couple of hours pass without giving me a call or sending a text.

  As if sensing my thoughts, Mal walked straight over to me, scooped me up, and sat down with me in his lap. He kissed me with a bit more ardor than we usually showed in public. I was breathing heavily by the time he pulled back. “Hey, babe,” he said quietly.

  I raised a brow at him and glanced sideways at Jordan. He crossed his arms in front of him, stared at the two of us, and said nothing. I turned my attention back to Mal. “Hey yourself,” I replied. It was both ridiculous and unfortunate how glad I was to see him. This was getting deep. This was supposed to be lighthearted and fun only. But as I leaned my head against his shoulder and he stroked my hair, I had to acknowledge that it felt like more.

  XJ threw his hands up. “I see where this is headed. All the love in the air and whatnot. I’m off to call the missus. Y’all keep it real.”

  Corey nodded. “I’m out too. I’ll come around and say good-bye before I head out.”

  Lee walked over to Sugar and slid an arm around her waist. “Hiya, gorgeous.”

  “Hi yourself.” She giggled up at him. They were actually kind of cute together. I hoped it worked out for her. Living in a small town, the guys to date and mate with were slim pickings. Sugar deserved to at the very least have a little fun for a while.

  “Okay, I’m going to find my husband.”

  “See if Renard will do that baby-oil thing you were talking about,” Sugar called out.

  “What?” Mal said. “What have you ladies been discussing?”

  “Don’t even worry your pretty head about it, Malachi Knight,” Ruby declared. “I am going to ask Renard right now. Shoot, like XJ said, here y’all go with this lovey-doveyness. Let me go find my husband.” Ruby got up and followed Corey and XJ out of the suite. Without uttering a word, Jordan turned and departed as well.

  Meshach sat down next to Niecy and tugged her
close. “Baby oil?”

  “I’ll tell you later,” she offered and rested her hand on his thigh.

  That left Burke and Mac standing. Burke looked over at Taylor, who was perched on the edge of a lounge chair, and then back at his brother with a brow raised. “Just do it already,” he muttered under his breath.

  I looked with wide eyes as Mac took a deep breath and stalked toward Tay. “Stalked” was the only way I could describe it. He was prowling like a lion looking for a meal and she was the chosen morsel. Her eyes snapped to his and she looked both nervous and excited as he stopped in front of her. He looked down at her for a long moment and she shifted in her chair.

  “Tay,” he said in a low tone I hadn’t heard from him before.

  “Yes?” she answered in a breathless voice.

  “It’s time,” he declared.

  “For?”

  He reached down and yanked her out of the chair by her shoulders. She gasped in surprise and he slammed his mouth down on hers. She froze for an instant and then groaned and threw her arms around him. They kissed like their next breath depended on it.

  “Oh my damn!” I said, nudging Mal.

  “Well, all right.” His grin faded as the kiss between Mac and Tay turned heated with sound effects. “Whoa. That’s kinda hot.”

  “’Bout damn time,” Burke said. “My work here is done. ’Night, all.” He left without another look back at his younger brother still happily molesting Taylor Rhone.

  “Um, you know what?” Mal asked me.

  I ripped my eyes away from my two best friends, who were quickly heating up from NC-17 to an R rating before our eyes. They had started groping body parts. “No, tell me what.”

  “They have a hell of an idea. I think I can improve on that technique, though.” His eyes heated up with intensity and purpose as he stood up with me in his arms. “Which door is the bedroom?”

  “And that’s our cue. We’re outta here,” Lee said, snatching up Sugar and hotfooting for the door.

  “Y’all know there’s a second bedroom right behind you. Like, not even three feet away, in case you want to avoid rug burn,” I called out to Taylor and Mac, who had sunk to the floor and were now horizontal while still kissing passionately. Wow, I see why they were reluctant to start; they seemed unable and unwilling to stop. I was trying to not see that particular play through to its inevitable conclusion. Way too much sharing. I couldn’t stop from taking one more look. I tilted my head sideways. “He is really good at that tongue sliding thing.”

  Niecy shook her head and grinned at Meshach. “He’s definitely thorough. You got anything in your arsenal like that?” A slow smile spread across Meschach’s face. “I bet I could come up with something.” They stood up in unison. “We should retire for the evening.”

  Niecy leaned into him. “We probably should.”

  “We absolutely should. See ya, bro.”

  Before they even crossed the threshold, I pointed to the door on the far right side of the room. “Bedroom. Now, please. Uh, Mac, Tay—if you hear me, feel free to leave or stay or, you know, whatever.”

  Mac lifted one hand off of Taylor’s ass in acknowledgment before cupping it possessively and pulling her tighter against him. They groaned again and some dry humping commenced.

  “Oh, jeez. So trying to not see that. We’re out.” Mal swiveled and had me inside that room with the door closed in less than four steps.

  “You know, your speed on your feet is quite impressive,” I complimented him.

  “You think that’s impressive, you haven’t seen nothing yet,” he promised as he settled me atop the bed.

  I smiled up at him as he leaned over me. “You know what’s awesome?”

  “Besides us?”

  I stroked my hand down his face. “No, that was what I was going to say. You and I, this: it gets better and better.”

  “Oh yeah.” He showered tiny kisses across my face, down my neck, and across my shoulder blades. My eyes drifted shut as I floated away on the building sensation. He grasped the V-neck of my shirt and ripped it open.

  My eyes flew back open as the fabric disintegrated in his hands. “Are we in a hurry?” I sat up as my bra flew across the room.

  With a quick flash of a smile, he answered, “We might be. What are we doing tonight? Slow and sweet or hot and sloppy?”

  “What would sweet and sloppy look like?” I joked and slithered out of the lounge pants, dropping them over the side of the bed.

  He pulled me back over toward him. “Is this a challenge?”

  Malachi was super competitive in all things. I knew better than to throw down a gauntlet I didn’t want picked up. I rolled my eyes. “The last thing I wanted to do was get your competitive juices flowing, baller.”

  Wiggling his hips against me, he grinned. “Well you’ve definitely got some of my juices flowing, so what’s it going to be?”

  I reached up and helped him pull his shirt off. “I get to special-order now? Anything I want, any way I want it?”

  “Whatever you want . . .” He started singing a very off-key version of a Tony! Toni! Toné! song.

  “I got you singing now?” I pulled him back on top of me and traced the outline of his lips with my tongue. We took turns diving and exploring each other’s mouths as our breath grew more ragged. I reached between him and unbuttoned his jeans. They were just in my way.

  He pulled back to lower the zipper. He snagged a condom from the back pocket and ditched the rest. “You got me singing, dancing, testifying. You kinda got me wrapped around your finger, Carissa, you know that, right?” My breath caught in my throat as I watched him roll on the condom. I stroked him slowly, feeling him swell in my hand before he lifted my hands, kissed the palms, and placed them beside my head. “You have to know I’m yours.”

  I studied his expression—the serious expression—on his face. He was wide open to me, not hiding a thing. In all the years we’d spent together, I’d never known him to just offer himself up like this. “Mal.”

  “You have to know how I feel about you, Ris.” He stroked his hands across my face, down my arms, across my waist, and down my back. “Or do you want me to show you?”

  His hands caressed my ass and thighs while his lips traveled along my jaw, crossing my shoulder and resting in the hollow between my breasts. His warm breath fired my already-heated skin and I shivered under his tender ministrations. “Sweet heaven, Mal.” He reintroduced every area of my body to his lips and fingers, rubbing his body against mine when a kiss and a stroke wouldn’t do. Slowly, so slowly, he unraveled me with his devotion and attention.

  “Can you hear what I’m telling you?” he whispered against the crest of my breast. His thigh slid between mine and he gently spread my legs apart, pinning me beneath him. His hands cupped the backs of my thighs and tilted my pelvis open. He surged against me in a slick, electric caress. “Are you listening?”

  “Mm-hmm.” I undulated under him, feeling overwhelmed by the sensations and emotions he was drawing out of me. I wanted to reach for him, return the favor, tantalize him the way he mesmerized me, but I could only lie open to him. I was waiting, edgy in anticipation for him to come inside me.

  “There’s nothing I won’t do for you. All you gotta do is ask, babe.”

  I bent my knees, grabbed his hips, and urged him closer. “Love me, Mal.”

  He slid only the tip of himself in and paused. “I do, you know.”

  I wriggled in impatience before it registered that he was trying to tell me something important. The intensity of his expression caught my attention. “You do what, Malachi?”

  He sank all the way inside me as he answered. “I do love you, Carissa Melody Wayne.” He withdrew with tantalizing deliberateness before driving back as far as he could go. “I love you.” He repeated with another measured, thorough stroke. With each stroke, he whispered it again. “Carissa, I love you.”

  Awash with rising tides of ecstatic delight, I blinked as his words registered and took
hold in my mind. My eyes opened wide and I locked eyes with him. The truth of his words was right there. “Oh my God!” I screamed as the sensations crested, flinging me into the most intense climax I’d ever experienced. I held his gaze as the tumult took him over and he shattered inside me.

  The experience left me shaken and raw. It had never been like that. We’d always connected on a chemical basis, but this had been otherworldly, taking us to a place where our souls were speaking to each other. I’d be lying if I said it hadn’t rattled me to my core. I had no protection against that kind of connection. When it was friendship and sex and laughs, I could keep my guard up. But this? There was no way to fight this.

  Malachi Knight loved me with everything he had. I was very much afraid I felt the same way about him. As we shuddered through the aftershocks together, I tried to open my mouth and say something to respond to the intensity of his declaration.

  He placed a finger over my lips. “Don’t say it right now.”

  “You don’t know what I’m going to say.”

  “If you’re going to tell me you love me, don’t say it because I said it first. If you’re going to tell me something else, save it for later. Let’s just have this moment.” He lifted me up and we headed for the bathroom. He started running the shower and drew me inside with him. “Let’s just let the night speak for itself. Tomorrow is soon enough to deal with the rest.”

  I leaned against him with my arms wrapped tightly around his waist as the warm water pelted us from all sides. “When did you become the mature one in this relationship?” I wondered aloud.

  He kissed my temple. “Guess I grew up when neither of us was paying attention.”

  “I like the new Mal.”

  “He likes you too.”

  We stood in silence for a few moments before I asked a question. “So do you think Tay and Mac are still humping on the floor of the living room?”

  He choked out a laugh. “Hopefully they’ve retired to somewhere more private. They have years of unfulfilled longing to make up for.”

  “Can you ever catch up on that sort of thing?”