Miss February

by Karen Cimms

  “You cook?”

  “I do,” I said with a grin. “I’m quite a catch.”

  Her smile was electric, and I felt it everywhere. “I bet you are.”

  “So, pancakes?”

  She nodded. “I’m starving, but don’t we have to head back?”

  “I deserve a day off too. I’ll just call my brother. There’s no place else I’d rather be—and no one else I’d rather be here with.”

  Chapter Twenty

  After breakfast we rode over to a little five-and-dime. Rain bought two large beach towels, two toothbrushes, a tube of toothpaste, and a bottle of water.

  “Gee, thanks,” I said when she handed me a toothbrush. “That bad?”

  Laughing, she pushed her hand against my chest. “No. I just know I feel kind of yucky until I brush my teeth, and I figured you wouldn’t want me to be all minty fresh while you’re all nasty.”

  “I appreciate the sentiment,” I said, holding up the brush. “Although by now, I need more than a toothbrush.”

  She shrugged. “You’re fine. People will just assume we’re homeless.”

  We took turns brushing our teeth at the edge of the parking lot, sharing a bottle of water to rinse our mouths, and then headed back to the beach. It was early and there were only a few people out on the sand. An older woman with a large floppy hat sat near the dunes, reading, while two small children played on a blanket beside her. There were a few joggers, including one with a black lab that kept darting in and out of the water, chasing the waves.

  We hiked down close to the water, where Rain spread out the towels, then sat and pulled off her boots.

  “So you don’t think people are going to think it’s a bit odd, even if I take my shirt off, that I’m lying on the beach in jeans and work boots?”

  “You could always take off your boots.”

  I did exactly that, then took off my shirt, balled it up behind my head, and lay down. I was exhausted, and while I was enjoying the time we were spending together, I was worried about making the three-hour ride back to Millstone on no sleep.

  “You taking a nap?”

  I shaded my eyes and squinted up at her. “I think so. You mind?”

  “Of course not. I’m going to take a walk.”

  “Want me to come with you?”

  “Uh-uh. You rest. I want to enjoy this while I can.”

  Between the warmth of the sun and the pounding of the surf, I drifted off quickly. I don’t know how long she was gone, but I woke when she rested her head against my arm. I cracked an eye open. She had moved her towel at an angle to mine and was using me as a pillow.

  I couldn’t figure her out. She was open, trusting, and physical. She touched, hugged, and even kissed without any reservations. She reminded me of a kitten, happy with whatever warm lap she found to curl up on. If that was the case, though, it didn’t make me any more special than the next lap. I could’ve been anybody, and she would’ve been just as content.

  I closed my eyes. Without thinking, I stroked her hair as if she were a cat curled up in my lap. At some point, I fell back to sleep.

  The next time I woke, my skin felt tight. Sure enough, although I was already tan, a couple hours in the same position with no sun block had left the skin on my stomach a dark, reddish bronze. The tops of my feet were a much more uncomfortable red.

  “Rain.” I shook her gently. “Wake up.”

  She mumbled and rolled over.

  “Did you get burned?”

  She sat up slowly, and when I pulled off my sunglasses, she laughed. “You look like a raccoon.”

  I reached over and gently removed hers. “So do you.” Her arm was a deep red and hot to the touch. I checked my watch. It was after one. “I think we better get out of the sun for a while.

  “Or we could just roll over,” she said with a coy smile. “We just shouldn’t fall asleep again.”

  So that’s what we did—only this time we lay side by side on our stomachs and talked.

  The more we talked, the harder I fell for her. She wasn’t just incredibly hot, and she wasn’t just someone who needed protection from a lame-ass boyfriend. She was funny and smart—not so much book smart, but intuitive. I guess that was the part she claimed was being psychic.

  I hated talking about myself, especially what I’d recently been through, but I found myself opening up about Jennifer and Gary and how foolish I’d been to ignore all the little signs: the unexplained gifts. The text messages at odd hours. Coming home to find Gary at the house so frequently it started to seem strange—but he was my best friend.

  And then that last time, when I came home unexpectedly and found the two of them in our bed.

  Until now, I hadn’t told anyone that part; it was too painful and humiliating.

  I almost told Rain about my dad and how he had walked out on us after cheating on my mom, but I didn’t want to make her feel worse about her own relationship, since that’s how it seemed she saw herself—the other woman.

  I hadn’t noticed at first—I guess because it seemed so natural—but the whole time I was talking, Rain kept her hand on my arm as if she could sense how difficult it was to share what I was telling her.

  Wanting to move the conversation away from my sad, pathetic love life, I rolled onto my side and pointed to her back.

  “You think you’re done on that side yet?”

  “Yeah. We should get out of the sun, or we’re not going to be able to ride home.”

  I could think of worse things.

  She stood and brushed the sand from her legs. “How about one more walk on the beach?”

  I felt like I’d been deep fried. “How about this? We go have some lunch and maybe walk around town—in the shade—and then before we leave, we can come back. The sun will be lower in the sky.” I pulled my sunglasses down just far enough for her to see me waggle my eyebrows. “Who knows? We may even have the beach to ourselves by then.”

  We found a restaurant near the water with plenty of shade and a nice breeze, and ordered standard Jersey fare of fried shrimp and fries in a basket, with sides of coleslaw and iced tea. I think we were both in desperate need of caffeine.

  “I’m having such a nice time,” she said after the waitress took our order.

  My heart did a little flip. “So am I.”

  We spent another hour talking over lunch. Then I left my Harley up at the Physick Estate, and we took the trolley around Cape May. It was almost five by the time we headed back to the beach for the walk I’d promised her.

  We walked side by side, one hand holding her boots and the other in the crook of my arm. I was content for the first time in a long while. I had to keep warning myself that I was being foolish. I was becoming as conflicted as Rain claimed to be.

  “You ready to hit the road?” I asked as we neared the spot where I’d parked.

  “I guess,” she said sadly.

  She slipped her arm around my waist as we slogged our way through the sand back to the parking lot. I wanted nothing more than to pick her up, carry her up to one of the motels along Beach Avenue, and make love to her for as long as I could, even if it meant another night without sleep. I couldn’t think of a woman who had enticed and enchanted me more.

  It was no longer about sex. After spending the last twenty hours with her, I wanted more. I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted to listen to her laugh, hear her crazy stories, and learn about all of her predictions.

  I wanted her. It was as simple and as difficult as that.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chase pulled in behind the luncheonette, and I was glad to see the only car in the lot was mine. Not that I expected to see Preston sitting there waiting for me, but judging by the tone of his texts—from obnoxious to apologetic to worried, then frantic, and when I finally responded after he threatened to report me missing if he didn’t hear from me immediately, back to obnoxious—I didn’t know what to expect. My favorite text had been this one: How dare you make me worry half th
e night and all day.

  How dare I, indeed.

  I invited Chase inside, although part of me was afraid of what might happen if he accepted. Could he be thinking the same thing?

  “I gotta go. I think if I stop for too long, I might keel over.” He looked tired, but he still had an incredibly sexy smile. He definitely should smile more.

  “Me too,” I admitted, although at that moment, keeling over with him sounded pretty good.

  He fastened the extra helmet to his bike. It was dark in front of my apartment, and we were standing outside the aim of the motion detector. I wanted to kiss him, and not just a simple thanks-I-had-a-terrific-time kind of kiss either.

  It made no sense. I’d been hurting, thinking that Preston might still be seeing Suzanne, yet here I was doing almost the same thing. I’d just spent an amazing twenty-four hours with a very sweet, very good-looking guy whose kisses made me forget my own name. And I was pretty sure I wanted more.

  Was I that fickle, or was I living up to the perception everyone had of me?

  Chase stretched, and his T-shirt rode up over those amazing abs of his. He stifled a yawn. “I have to work in the morning, and we have a race tomorrow night. You coming?”

  “I wasn’t planning on it.”

  “If you change your mind, I’ll be there.”

  Not knowing how to end this—whatever it was—started to feel a little awkward. I dug around in my purse until I found my keys, giving me something to look at other than that intense stare of his.

  “Thank you again. I had the best time.”

  “I’m glad.” He gave me another smile and raised his helmet. “I’ll wait for you to get upstairs and inside.”

  If I stood this close to him one second longer, I was going to grab him by his T-shirt and drag him upstairs. Maybe not even a second. I backed away, then turned and raced up the steps before I could change my mind. When I’d unlocked the door and flicked on the outside light, he revved his engine and pulled away with a wave.

  I stood in the doorway until I could no longer feel the vibrations of his Harley under my feet or hear the roar of his engine in the distance. Then I listened to the silence.

  What an amazing day it had been.

  It wasn’t until I turned on the inside light and locked the door behind me that I noticed the huge bouquet of red roses on the kitchen table. I sank against the door as if the thorns on those roses had let all of the air out of me.

  I love you. Forgive me.

  As usual, there was no signature. Although red roses weren’t my favorite—I preferred deep pink, but he’d never asked—they were beautiful and surely expensive, as they’d come from the best florist in the area. But it didn’t matter. I still wanted to open the door and dump them over the deck and smash the vase in the parking lot.

  Maybe I would go to the track tomorrow night. And maybe afterward, I’d kiss Chase exactly the way I was already regretting not kissing him tonight.

  I woke around ten the next morning, and that was only because some asshole was pounding on my door. I opened it to find the asshole holding another bouquet of red roses. It wouldn’t have surprised me at all to learn he owned his own greenhouse—or at least the damn florist.

  “What the hell happened to your face?” he demanded.

  “Really? That’s what you have to say to me?” I tried to close the door, but he pushed it open and stepped inside.

  “Do you know how sick with worry I’ve been? Where did you go? How did you get home?”

  I glared at him. “If you were so sick with worry, why weren’t you sitting outside my door when I got home last night?”

  It looked as if a vein was about to burst on the side of his head.

  “Last night? You didn’t get home until last night?”

  I blinked at him, struggling for the right words.

  “Seriously, what happened to your face? You look like you fell asleep in the sun.”

  “Maybe I did.” It was obvious I had. Why didn’t I just admit it?

  He set the flowers on the table next to yesterday’s roses. “You going to tell me what happened?”

  “Before or after you humiliated me at Blondie’s?”

  “After.” His voice grew a little softer. “And I apologized.”

  “When? In a text message? After you demanded to know ‘where the fuck’ I was?”

  “C’mon, baby.” He slipped his arms around my waist. “I was drunk and upset. You know I don’t like fighting with you.” He kissed my neck. The scruff on his face scratched my skin.

  “You’re hurting me.” I pushed against him. “I have a bad sunburn.”

  “I can see that.” He continued to hold me and kissed lightly along my neck. In spite of the burn, goose bumps sprang up along my arms. “Why don’t you let me rub aloe all over you?”

  That sounded like a great idea, but I wasn’t about to say so.

  He kissed my shoulder and along my clavicle, then worked his way back up to my chin.

  “I love you, Rain. I don’t want to lose you. Please tell me you forgive me.”

  I pulled away. “It doesn’t matter if I forgive you or not, because the way things are going, you’re going to lose me for good.”

  “Baby, don’t say that. You’re killing me. I’ve told you, it’s complicated.”

  I gave him a hard shove. “Stop it! I don’t want to hear it anymore. In fact, I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m done. I deserve more than this. I deserve to be with someone who loves me and who’s not ashamed of me.”

  For as much as it hurt, physically and emotionally, I pulled away, walked to the door, and held it open. The fact that he actually looked stunned proved how out of touch he was with what he’d been putting me through.

  But it didn’t last. Within seconds, he was smiling as if he’d caught me bluffing.

  When my tears spilled over, the cocky look on his face faded.

  “Rain, don’t do this. I’m not giving you up. It’s not over.”

  I wiped my face with the heels of my hands, cringing from the sting. “Seriously. It was over before it began. I should’ve never let this go on. You’re still hung up on someone else, and it isn’t fair to her or to me. Go be with Suzanne. I’ll get over it. I want to get over it, but I can’t if you won’t leave me alone.”

  “Fine, then I won’t leave you alone.” He plunked onto the couch with his arms folded and stared straight ahead.

  I slammed the door with a loud bang and stomped into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. I’d slept twelve hours, and I felt as if I could sleep twelve more. When the coffee was ready, I poured myself a cup and ignoring him, went back into my room and lay down.

  Just as I expected, Preston followed. He lay down beside me, his chest pressed against my back, his arm around my waist.

  “I can’t live without you.”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “Please don’t be like this.” He clutched me against his chest so hard it was difficult to breathe. I was about to tell him he was hurting me again when I realized he was crying. I pushed against him, but he held me fast.

  “I don’t want you to see me like this.”

  My sensitive skin throbbed, but I squirmed around in his arms until I was facing him. I’d never seen a man cry before. “Preston. Please, don’t.”

  He buried his face in my shoulder. I held him against me, and when he finally looked at me, my heart broke. His eyes were red and swollen, and he looked so anguished that I felt guilty for pushing so hard, for threatening to end it.

  And I felt guilty for the feelings I’d begun to have for Chase. While it had never made sense before when Preston claimed that things between him, Suzanne, and me were so complicated, I understood it all now.

  I kissed his tearstained cheeks. I kissed his lips. And I gave in. Again. And he was more loving and tender than he’d been in a long time.

  Afterward, Preston slept while I lay beside him, staring at the ceiling.

  He’d made lots of
promises to me over the past hour, but my heart still hurt. And not just because of Preston.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  As tired as I was, I had a hard time sleeping Friday night. When the alarm clock went off, I wanted to stay in bed and just keep thinking about Rain, which is what I’d been doing most of the night. The only thing that kept me going through the morning was thinking that maybe I’d see her that night at the track. And then afterward, who knows? I was pretty sure she felt something as well.

  Unfortunately, it wasn’t Rain who showed up that night. It was Preston.

  “Where’s my girl?” Wally called out when he saw Preston coming into the pit area where we were getting the car ready.

  “She’s not feeling well. I left her home to sleep. I’ll check on her later.”

  I wanted to kick something—preferably Preston. I finished making a gear change while he walked around shaking hands, acting like he’d funded the entire operation because his fucking name was painted on the side of the car. I hated this creep. I didn’t care how many tires he’d paid for.

  “So how’s it going, buddy?” he asked, coming up to me and holding out his hand. At least the asshole wasn’t looking to fist bump. I took his hand and shook it, knowing full well mine was covered with grease. Disgust registered on his face as he looked around for something to wipe it on.

  “Sorry, man.” I shrugged and pushed my sunglasses up on top of my head, now that the sun had dropped behind the grandstands. “That’s the danger of being in the pits.” I wiped my hand on my jeans and almost dared him to do the same, which he didn’t.

  An odd look came over his face. “Get a little sun?”

  I nodded.

  “Looks like you fell asleep at the beach.”

  “Maybe.”

  I had nothing to hide, but I wasn’t willing to share anything with him either. Given the way he was staring at me, I’m guessing he’d figured out that Rain and I had matching sunburns.