Breaking Through

by M. A. Lee

  I wonder when Jagger will finally man up and tell Lila how he really feels? Freddy says Jagger talks about her all of the time, but is a baby when it comes to expressing his feelings. I’ve never seen Lila so happy. I hope this side of her never fades.

  My mouth fell open as I allowed those words to sink in. My heart began to flutter and I could feel myself growing hot as I thought about Jagger thinking about me.

  “What?” Tatum asked as she noticed my change in appearance and behavior. I was sure my face was blood red from the heat that was rising in my body.

  “Oh, nothing,” I said shaking the thoughts away. “I think I will call Jagger and see what he is doing tonight,” I said with a sigh.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” Tatum said.

  “I bet you do,” I added with a knowing smirk.

  “What was that?” Tatum asked as she grabbed her purse.

  “Nothing,” I said as I looked away from her.

  “Call Jagger, I think you two need to hang out more. Besides, Freddy said Jagger didn’t have any plans tonight,” she added with a wink.

  “I will call him. But you know, he is a single and hot guy. I’m sure he has tons of girls waiting to see him,” I said. Even as I spoke the words, I knew I wasn’t fooling Tatum or myself. Jagger was just as much into me as I was into him, only we hadn’t made anything official yet.

  “You really are naive, aren’t you?” Tatum asked as she arched her eyebrows in a way that meant she thought I was crazy. “Jagger is crazy about you.”

  “Maybe,” I said as I shrugged my shoulders. I was fishing for more information. Without being able to read his mind, I didn’t know for certain if he wanted more with me. Sure, when we were together I felt amazing and cared for, but I didn’t have that confirmation like I needed.

  Shaking her head in frustration, Tatum only smiled. “Lila, some days I just wonder how someone so smart could be so dumb. Jagger thinks you hold the moon. He only talks about you. He only sees you. Plus, I see the way you look at him. Even when you were with Joel...” she pauses and thinks hard about her next words. “Even when you were with Joel and at your happiest moments with him, you never looked at him the way you look at Jagger. You were never this content and satisfied. You are different now.”

  Nodding my head, I didn’t even try to argue. I could hear her arguments before the words slipped past her lips.

  “You are right, Tatum. I really like him and I do think he likes me too. We just haven’t had the ‘talk’ yet. Nothing has been confirmed,” I added.

  Tatum laughed. “Whatever you say, Lila. That boy wants to take you to his bed and do all types of dirty things to you,” she said, her voice full of laughter. “I mean, more than what you two naughty kids have already done,” she added with a sly smile.

  Being my best friend, of course, I had given her all of the juicy details from our hook-ups.

  Checking her watch, Tatum quickly reached for her car keys. “I need to go. Freddy told me to be at his house at seven-thirty. Don’t wait up,” she said with a wink as she rushed out the door.

  I soaked in the few minutes of silence before I dialed Jagger’s number.

  He answered on the second ring and I smiled as I heard his husky voice answered.

  “Hey sweetheart, I was hoping you would call,” Jagger said into the phone.

  Smiling, I bit my lip and began to twirl a loose string of hair around my index finger. I was sure I looked like a silly school girl gushing over a boy, but I didn’t care.

  “Freddy is taking Tatum out on some surprise date. I was wanting to see if you had any plans. If not, would you want to come over and watch Netflix and eat our weight in junk food.”

  Freddy let out a loud, belly laugh. “You know all the right things to say to a guy,” he said. “That sounds perfect. Can I make one request?” he asked.

  “Anything,” I said a little too quickly.

  Pausing, I could feel his smile through the phone. “When I get there, I want you in something skimpy and revealing,” he breathed.

  Part of me knew he was just trying to get a rise out of me, but another part of me wanted to give him exactly what he wanted.

  “Ok, well you better be here in twenty minutes,” I said before I ended the call.

  I sat back and smiled. After a minute of allowing myself to cool off from our talk, I ran to my room and found a cute pair of black boy shorts that showed off just the right amount of my booty and a tight red tank top that was cut low and would show off my black lace bra underneath. I knew the outfit was just casual enough to be a movie watching comfortable attire, but sexy enough to drive Jagger wild.

  I sent a quick text to Tatum letting her know that I would be occupied most of the night with Jagger.

  Me: Jagger is coming over

  Tatum: I am sure he is!

  Me: Stop! You are disgusint!

  Tatum: Whatever. Have fun!

  LESS THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES later, I heard a loud knock at our apartment door. Knowing it was Jagger, I rushed to the door and checked myself in the hall mirror. My hair was pulled up into a cute ponytail and my makeup was just enough that I didn’t look dull, but that I could argue I wasn’t wearing any. This was exactly what Jagger would love.

  Opening the door, I smiled as I took Jagger in. Wearing a pair of dark, denim jeans and a black hoodie, he looked like an absolute dream.

  His eyes raked over my body. He drew his hand up to his mouth and began to rub his jaw as his eyes soaked me in.

  Damn, Lila. Are you trying to kill me?” he teased as he stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him. Grabbing me around the waist, he pulled me to him. Being this close to Jagger was intoxicating.

  Still, in his grasp, Jagger placed a soft kiss on my neck. I giggled as the touch sent shivers of pleasure down my spine. “I could just eat you up,” he breathed against my neck.

  “Maybe you could have a snack later,” I urged as I placed a soft kiss on his jaw.

  Jagger let his head fall back as he began to lead me to the couch. Losing his balance, we both fell and I came crashing down on his lap. I let out a loud laugh as I caught myself.

  “You are beautiful when you laugh,” he said, his voice serious.

  I squirmed under him, and he let me go, but he still was lying on top of me.

  Biting my lip, I tried to control myself. Every part of me wanted to tear off his clothes and lick him up and down his body, but I knew I should wait. Take it slow. Let him take the lead.

  “Thank you,” I replied. I stared deep into his eyes. Searching for something. Anything. I had never been more desperate to hear another person’s thoughts as I was in this moment. I had detested all my life an ability I had deemed as a curse, but now, here in this moment; I wished I could hear what he was thinking and feeling.

  “What are you looking for?” Jagger asked as he met my stare.

  Maybe he was the one who could read my thoughts? No, I quickly pushed that thought away. I was crazy enough alone, I couldn’t fathom the possibility that Jagger could hear what I was thinking. My thoughts were too dark and dirty. I would be mortified.

  “What do you mean?” I asked, trying to give myself time to come up with an answer. Truth was, I was searching for his heart.

  “You are looking at me like you are trying to read into my soul,” he said. His face was serious, as was his voice. Nothing about him was kidding.

  The moment grew tense and heavy as we sat in silence. Our breathing was the only sound floating through the air. It was both comforting and painful all at the same time.

  “Maybe I am,” I admitted as I looked down and tore my eyes away from his.

  Placing his hand on my chin, Jagger forced me to look up at him. “Don’t do that. Don’t look away. If you want to know what is in my heart and soul; all you have to do is ask,” he prompted as he gave me the lead I needed.

  “I am not good at this,” I admitted as I took in a deep breath. “You don’t have to overthink this
,” Jagger said, his fingers still tracing my chin. “If you are searching for something inside of me, let me give it to you. I want you. I want your body. I want your mind. I want your heart. I want all of you. My soul craves to have you as mine and claim you every day so that everyone around us knows that you belong to me and I belong to you,” Jagger stated as he forced me to look at him.

  My breath faltered as I watched his face soften. Jagger was being honest and truthful and damn, if it wasn’t the hottest thing I had ever heard. Here I was, worrying that Jagger might not be as crazy about me as I was about him; but I was wrong.

  “Jagger...” I began, but his lips came crashing down on mine and my words were stopped by his tongue invading my mouth.

  My body took over and my mind was no longer in control of my actions. My hands reached up and grabbed his dark hair. I climbed on top of him, and allowed myself to sink on top of the bulge threatening to escape from his jeans.

  Grabbing my ass, Jagger held me in place as I began to move my hips as my sex began to rub against his hard dick pressing through the fabric of his denim.

  “Fuck, I want you so bad,” Jagger breathed heavily as he pushed me further down onto him.

  “Then have me,” I demanded.

  Lifting me up, Jagger stood and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He began to lead me toward my bedroom as our lips continued to collide in a sensual movement.

  Throwing me onto my bed, Jagger slowly crawled on top of me in a movement that was so intense and predatory I almost came undone just watching him move with lust in his eyes.

  My hands went to the button on his jeans as he deepened his kiss.

  “Are you sure?” he asked again as he hovered his body over mine. He was panting and from the hardness of his dick pushing against the zipper of his jeans, I knew he was ready for me.

  Nodding my head yes, I moved my hips up and invited him to take me. Smiling, Jagger wasted no time removing my tank top and then peeling off my bra. He began to tease my nipples in an act that was about to drive me insane. He leaned down and placed his wet tongue on my breast and began to suck as he used his other hand to slide my shorts and panties off my hips and down my legs. I moaned in ecstasy as his touch pushed me closer and closer to the edge of coming.

  “Jagger,” I moaned as my need for him grew.

  “Moan my name again,” he demanded as he moved his mouth to my other breast.

  “Jagger,” I moaned louder this time, my voice deep with need.

  Moving his hands, Jagger began to rub the outside of my sex in a soft and slow motion. I moved my hips, begging him to stop this slow torture and take me now.

  “You are so wet,” he noted as he placed one finger inside of me.

  My body tensed and my back arched as I allowed my senses to take over. Moving his finger in and out, he teased me. Showing me he was in control, he continued the torturous act until I was about to scream.

  “Jagger, please,” I whispered as I struggled to keep myself from flipping him over and taking control myself.

  “Are you ready for me sweetheart?” he asked.

  “Yes,” I screamed.

  Slowly sliding inside of me, I felt my walls open and flex as Jagger’s cock entered me. Letting his head drop, Jagger smiled at me as the pleasure sparked on his face.

  “You are so tight, sweetheart,” he said, almost as if he were surprised.

  Every inch of him consumed me and I was sure he would thrust himself into me, in a rage of sexual desire. From the way he had just fucked me with his fingers, I was expecting him to be rough with me. However, he chose to take his time as he delicately moved inside of me. Each thrust filled me completely but yet caressed me in a way that had me writhing in pure delight. I could feel him reaching deeper inside me with every inch of his rock hard and gloriously endowed cock and I could feel me reaching my second climax.

  The way our bodies collided and moved as if in synch brought me to another level that no high could ever reach.

  My hands tightened around his waist as I continued to pull him closer. I could feel myself reaching the height of our song and as I let out a loud yell, I allowed my body to release and reach my climax for the third time. Pure adrenaline shot through me as Jagger felt my release and continued our song of desire. As he continued to move inside of me, I could feel him inching his way toward the final note of our tune. Pulling out of me, Jagger let out a growl as he came on the bed beside me. Placing soft kisses along my cheeks and lips, Jagger smiled down at me as we both tried to calm our beating hearts.

  “That was amazing,” he smiled as he lay down beside me, turning his head so we were facing.

  Smiling, I ran my hand through his messy hair and laughed. “Yes, that was amazing.”

  Laying next to me, Jagger placed his arms around me and pulled me close to him. We were naked and snuggled into each other’s arms. This was as close to perfect as I would ever get.

  I could feel Jagger’s breathing even as he slowly began to fall asleep. As I snuggled closer to him, I couldn’t help but think about how different sex with Jagger was. Sex with Joel had been good, but it had never been as pleasurable as sex with Jagger had been. With Joel, his mind never stilled. He was always thinking or imagining ways he wanted me to perform in bed. I couldn’t just stop and enjoy the experience or the pleasure of sex. Instead, I heard his thoughts and wishes and spent every one of our sexual experiences trying to perform the way he wanted me to.

  However, with Jagger, I could allow myself to tune in to every touch, feel, and sensation caused by his body colliding with mine. I didn’t have to think. I didn’t have to hear. I could just enjoy the moment.

  As I felt sleep beginning to take over, I smiled to myself. Jagger wanted me. I had just given myself to him; heart and soul. My life would never be the same again.

  9

  Jagger

  “How did things go with you and Tatum last night?” I asked, as Freddy walked into our small kitchen.

  He was clearly still hungover and I didn’t hear Tatum leave until way after ten this morning. They had kept me up all night fucking and drinking. Part of me wanted to bust in on them and tell them to shut up, but I just couldn’t do it.

  Man, when did I become such a little bitch?

  “Great,” Freddy smirked. “I know you heard us last night. Sorry,” Freddy said as he poured me a cup of coffee.

  Shaking my head, I waved off the coffee. I had already had two cups and I was hyper as shit. I didn’t need my hands shaking when I went into work today.

  “Yeah, well I hope it was good,” I said as I stood and stretched my arms above my head.

  “Hell yes, it was good. Anything with Tatum is good. She tastes so good and something about the way she goes...”

  I cut him off before he could finish. I didn’t need a mental image to go along with the sounds still echoing through my mind. Damn, what I wouldn’t give to just be able to block it all out sometimes.

  “I get it,” I said.

  “What about you and Lila?” Freddy asked as he watched me carefully.

  He could tell something was up with me. That something was different.

  “Things are good,” I said as I tried to fight back a smile. Images of Lila laying naked underneath me as she moaned my name flashed through my mind. I swear I was growing hard just thinking about it.

  “Do you like her?” Freddy asked.

  I stared at him with shock and confusion. Freddy and I didn’t do the whole feelings and talking shit. That just wasn’t our style.

  So, for him to be getting personal with me, meant something was going on.

  “You know I like her,” I snapped. Why are you asking?” I asked.

  “I really care about Tatum. She makes me want to forget about all the other fuck buddies I have had on the side. I haven’t called any of them since I met her. I even deleted their numbers and blocked the ones that have tried to hit me up on social media.”

  He finished talking and I almost had t
o blink again to make sure I was looking at the same guy.

  Even though I was surprised, I couldn’t say anything. Hell, I wanted Lila more than anything I had ever wanted in my life. I wouldn’t admit it yet to anyone, but I hadn’t hooked up with anyone since I laid eyes on her in the hospital that night.

  “I really care about Lila. I mean, the sex is amazing, but it is more than that with her. When I am with her, I want to make her smile. I love watching her get sassy or pissed. When I am not with her, I want to know what she is doing every moment of the day. Fuck man, I have never felt this way before. I don’t know if I am doing everything right or not,” I admitted as I ran my hands through my hair.

  Laughing, Freddy patted me on the back. “Damn, I never thought I would see the day that Jagger would fall in love. Face it man, you have found someone to care about.”

  I allowed his words to sink in. Maybe this was love. I had never felt love before, but what I felt for Lila was stronger than any emotion I had ever experienced.

  10

  Lila

  “WE NEED A GIRL’S NIGHT,” Tatum squealed as she ran into the apartment carrying a large bottle of our favorite sweet wine. Her blonde hair was swept up into a tight ponytail and she still was wearing her gray yoga pants and tight Nike shirt. Tatum loved to do spin classes at the local campus gym. I, however, elected to run alone- away from everyone else and their prying thoughts.

  Throwing my kindle down beside me on the couch, I jumped up and applauded.

  “What is the occasion?” I asked as I rushed to the kitchen to get some wine glasses.

  It had been so long since Tatum and I had just been alone that I didn’t realize how much I needed my time with her until now.

  “I just miss you,” Tatum said as she opened a drawer and began searching for a corkscrew. “Fount it,” she cheered as she held up the shiny silver item.

  We opened the wine and poured ourselves each a glass.

  I allowed the sweet, cool liquid to soothe my mind and spirit.