The Final Lesson Plan

by Bright, Deena

  Avoiding that comment, I said, "Lizzy Sullivan."

  "Lizzy Sullivan? What about her?" she asked.

  "That's when I fell in love with you and realized that I wasn't going to settle for someone who didn't have a heart like yours," I explained.

  "Leo, I'm clever and quite the puzzle-solver, but I've got no fucking clue what you're talking about," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

  "I missed a test in your class when I was on a Miami college visit. We'd spent two days in Oxford, so I missed The Canterbury Tales exam," I explained. I leaned forward and turned down the radio. How could someone listen to so much Air Supply? I remembered my dad calling Air Supply, "Air-cidal," because listening to it made you want to kill yourself or someone else.

  I continued once the radio was low enough to talk. "I had to make the test up during your free period. We were alone in your room," I recalled, remembering the incident clearly. "Lizzy came in crying hysterically."

  "You were there? I don't even remember you being there," she admitted.

  "I was there, and witnessed the entire thing, which is when I knew how special your heart was and if I couldn't have it, then I was going to find one just like it," I vowed.

  "Leo, that's…that's...wow," she said, looking straight at the road.

  I was taking the test, probably the easiest test Janelle had given us that year. I'd been done for a while, but I didn't want to go back to study hall, so I faked like I was still working. Janelle had a skirt on that day, and she was sitting on her tall stool, looking over the papers on her podium. Her legs were incredible, so when she wasn't watching me, I was staring at her legs, hoping her skirt would ride further up her thighs. Janelle had slipped her one shoe off and was dangling it rhythmically and methodically on the end of her toe. Between her legs and her stockinged feet, I was mesmerized and pretty hard.

  At this point in the school year, I was already crushing on her pretty badly—everyone was. My feelings for her were pretty prominent, but when Lizzy walked in crying uncontrollably, I was done. I was head over heels in love with Janelle Garrity. Lizzy'd found out that morning that she was six weeks pregnant; her boyfriend didn't want her to keep the baby. Lizzy was torn and in total turmoil. I remembered thinking it was strange that she'd go to a teacher for guidance and support. Didn't we have counselors for that sort of thing? I also couldn't figure out why Lizzy hadn't gone straight to her parents for help.

  Janelle listened to her and then did the one thing that made me fall in love with her so long ago. Janelle started crying too. She held Lizzy in her arms, and they both cried together. Janelle promised Lizzy that she'd go with her to tell her parents. Lizzy walked in Janelle's room a hot mess and walked out scared, but with a renewed sense of confidence and possible hope for the future.

  Watching her drive, I realized that she was still that same person, the one who wanted to help everyone, protect people from the hardships in life. "You're incredible," I said. "I'm sorry I was so wrong…so hurtful last week."

  "Oh my God, you certainly don't have to apologize to me. You've been so kind and so patient with me…while you've been dealing with all this shit too," she said.

  "You didn't deserve the way I acted or how I talked to you; I'm so sorry, Janelle," I repeated.

  Janelle took her hand off the wheel and placed it on my thigh. "No more serious talk; we're ruining Operation Leo Fun."

  Janelle was the perfect amusement park date; it was like she regressed twenty years when we entered the park. She was like a child, wanting to ride everything and play all the games. I could hardly keep up with her. Her excitement and verve for fun was contagious. Watching her down an entire fried cheese on a stick was the highlight of the day. Girls didn't eat junk food like that, but she put it away like it was a bite-sized cracker. I got her on most of the roller coasters. Janelle held onto me and squealed during each ride. I loved watching her face light up; I loved watching her relish the enjoyment that the park offered. But most importantly, I loved her.

  After the park closed, she told me that she had a surprise for me. We drove over to the hotel that bordered the park. She'd booked us a room for the night, so we could hideaway for just one more day. It was thoughtful; she'd even brought some clothes to change into and toiletries for me to use.

  "I'll pay you back," I offered. The tickets and hotel were astronomical; I couldn't let her buy me clothes too.

  "You will not. Plus, since Jasper's been hoarding money away for me, I'm practically loaded…for a school teacher," she joked. We checked into the hotel, went to our room, and threw our stuff on the bed. Then, Janelle said, "Come on, let's go."

  "Go? Where are we going?" I asked, following her back out the door. I supposed it was a good idea for us to leave the room. I had no idea how I was going to spend all night with her without ripping her clothes off and making love to her. Being close to her all day, inhaling her sent, kissing her in line, and holding her hand were definitely taking their toll on me. No matter how much I promised myself that I wouldn't have sex with her as long as she was still fucking Alexander, I couldn't help but think that my resistance and reserve were running low, extremely low, bright fucking, blue-balled low.

  "Walk along the beach…duh," she said, almost running to the elevator.

  "Beach? We live in Ohio, Janelle," I said, getting into the elevator. "Lake Erie certainly isn't an ocean."

  "Nobody ever said that a beach had to surround an ocean, Einstein. What? You don't want to walk along the sand, holding my handing, and kissing me under the stars?" she asked, batting her eyelashes at me. If I only I could "Christian Grey" her right now in this elevator…But I was certainly no Christian Grey.

  "I would like nothing more than to do all of those things with you…especially on the beach…near a real ocean," I replied. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. I certainly came across as gentlemanly and chaste, but man, the thoughts I was having about her were positively more Red Room of Pain than innocently pure. Changing the subject, I said, "So what'd you do all week."

  "Nothing really," she said, shrugging her shoulders.

  "See Briggs a lot?" I asked, wishing I hadn't.

  "Uhhh no!" she said, with venom in her voice. "He's been blowing me off."

  "Nuh-uh, shut up," I couldn't mask my excitement at that fact.

  "Uh-huh. I was supposed to see him the day I had my first divorce hearing, but he went to Columbus," she explained. "Then out of the blue, without telling me anything, he left for Connecticut. Said it was a surprise and he'd tell more. I think I've only seen him once since Connecticut. I've asked him about it, but he still hasn't said anything."

  "What do you think it is?" I asked, getting curious myself.

  "No idea," she said, looking disappointed, a little too disappointed for my taste, actually.

  "Well fuck him then," I said, smiling. "If Briggs Alexander wants to screw this up, then I welcome any slip up he may have." I pulled her close to me; her smile was enough to make me forget all of my worries. "Man, that smile…"

  "What about it?" she asked, smiling even bigger.

  "It's the best distraction I could ever ask for," I confessed.

  "Is that all I am to you, Mr. Cling, a distraction?" she teased.

  "Yeah, that's it…one little distraction." I shot back. "Why? Did you want to be something else?"

  "Nah, I'm good with that title," she replied, kicking and splashing water at me.

  I picked her up and walked deeper into the water. "So you wanna get wet, Janelle? I can see to that." I held her close to me as I walked into the water up to my waist. I needed a quick cool down, just being around her made it necessary for a cold shower or a jump in a frigid cold lake.

  "Leo, I want to get wet...very wet," she said, with an intense look in her eyes. "I'm only going to say this once. I miss you. I really miss you. I want you to make love to me right here…right now."

  Now, I realized I made a pact with myself, but Christ, I was a man for God's sake. I'd challenge an
y man to hear the woman he was in love with to talk to him like that and refuse her. It was virtually impossible—at least for me it was. I walked out of the water, still cradling her in my arms. I never took my gaze from hers. I laid her down on the sand, lying down next to her. I kissed her softly, but she pulled me into her, forcing me to increase the intensity, igniting my hunger and desire for her. There was no turning back. I had to have her, couldn't deny her—or myself.

  "Leo?" she said, begging me again.

  I answered her by trailing my tongue down her neck, while I unbuttoned her shorts. She shook her head and reached for the button on my shorts. I lifted up, allowing her access to me, to the very core of my soul that I was fighting so hard to give her. Who was I kidding? She'd owned me for as long as I could remember.

  Lying in the bed, drinking wine from the hotel bar, I'd never felt more guilty in my life. "Janelle, we shouldn't have done that…either time," I said.

  "Leo…stop!" she said, taking another sip of her wine. "You've been a million miles away. It was wonderful. You're wonderful. Stop analyzing everything so much. You're like I was last month," she joked, kissing my cheek.

  Sitting up and putting my glass down, I said, "No. I'm serious. I have to tell you something. I feel like I've been lying to you all day."

  I noticed her face fall, a flicker of fear cross her face. "Okay...about?"

  "I came back this week to quit," I admitted.

  "To stop seeing me?" she asked, turning toward me, but hugging a pillow closer to her.

  "No Janelle. I came back to work another week at my job and then quit," I explained.

  "But…but you just got that job. I don't get it," she questioned.

  "I'm gonna move to Arizona. I want to be there when Megan…Damn it…when Megan dies. But I'm gonna stay for a while. I wanna help Cliff with the kids until he's back on track and used to being a…a…single dad," I confessed.

  "Leo…are you sure? But…what about…" She didn't finish her statement; she just looked at me, hurt and confused.

  "I'm sure. We all think it's for the best. Meg was the only one who didn't want me to quit my job and put my life on hold," I said. I lied back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know how long I'll be gone…six months...maybe a year. My dad is gonna help with my house payments until I get back."

  "I don't know what to say," Janelle said. "I hate that you're going. It kills me, destroys me actually. But I understand. If anything were ever to happen to Jocelyn or Jasper—" Her voice trailed off as she laid down next to me, snuggling into the crook of my arm.

  "Thanks for everything today, Janelle. I've never met anyone like you. These past six weeks have been...have been…what I've been waiting for my entire life," I admitted.

  "Leo, you make it seem like this is 'goodbye,' like we'll never see each other again," Janelle said, sitting up to look at me.

  "Janelle…I think…I think…it probably is," I choked, feeling the tears well in my eyes. I knew that as soon as I left, as soon as I packed up and skipped town, Janelle would be right back in Briggs' bed for good.

  Janelle nodded, wiping the tears from her cheeks as well. I took her hand and kissed the tears from the backs of her hands. I hated that I was the reason she was crying, hated that anything I did hurt her. I just knew that I had to be there for my family. Janelle and I had an incredible six weeks together, but we both knew that anything beyond this summer wasn't going to happen. As much as I dreamed that I could hold her like this forever, I knew it wasn't meant to be. If Janelle loved me like I wanted her to, then there'd be no choice, no decision for her to make, she'd just know…know like I did. It was silly to continue to prolong the inevitable, especially when so many other things were going on too. Things that neither one of us could change.

  I hadn't talked to Leo since the morning after our trip to Sandusky. I was a mess. I hated saying "goodbye" to him, and I didn't understand why we even had to. I could accept that he was leaving. I could accept that he didn't want me in that kind of way anymore. But what I couldn't accept was that he didn't want to be a part of my life, didn't want me to be a part of his. We'd grown so close, but now we were as distant as two people could be, strangers truthfully. I hated being someone he used to know. Someone from his past. Someone he'd have to remember.

  Briggs was in Columbus with his brother again. I had no idea what he was up to or what he was doing. He'd kept me completely in the dark and quite frankly, I was getting pissed. I'd spent the week, pretty much pissed off at the fucking world. Briggs wasn't around. Char had been blowing me off all week for work. Jasper was in Chicago on business. Even Jocelyn was so wrapped up with Vacation Bible School that she didn't even have time for me. Vacation Bible School? What the fuck? My supportive friends and family were sucking at their roles, making me doubt their overall loyalty.

  I'd really gotten into writing my musical too. I'd spent nearly every spare moment I had for the past four weeks writing the dialogue, action, and stage direction of my Madonna musical, only to realize that I had no fucking idea how to write a musical. I hated it so much that I actually deleted the entire document from my laptop. I mean, who in the fuck can write a musical? Seriously, there are like, what, 15 really well-known musicals. Did I really think I was going to write the next big hit? Fuck that shit. I'm no writer. I'm a reader and a viewer.

  Actually, lately, I couldn't even read. Every time I started a new book, began reading something I enjoyed, I kept thinking how I wanted Leo to read it too, wanted to talk about it with him. So, I stopped reading, too. What have I been doing? Watching TV and eating ice cream, waiting on Briggs to resurface and hoping Leo would call to tell me that he'd made a mistake. I thought about dropping by Leo's parents' house to see if he needed anything, needed help with any packing or wanted to talk, but then I decided that I'd just let him move on like he wanted.

  I decided that I needed some retail therapy, so I went shoe shopping, knowing that Char was never giving me back my favorite black shoes. I went shopping and bought three pairs of black shoes and two pairs of gold shoes. I'd been wearing my bracelet a lot lately, so I justified in buying more gold clothing and accessories.

  I knew my funk was something serious when I didn't feel the least bit happier or better. I had to call in the big guns and go to Nordstrom's. I bought a Kate Spade iPhone case and Kate Spade summer canvas bag. Kate Spade was always a good friend when Char dropped the ball, not that she dropped the ball too often. But this week was the ultimate fumble. I even texted her and said that I needed her badly with "Armageddon" in all capital letters. Would you believe she responded with "sorry, can't this week?" I'd never known her to deny the Armageddon SOS code.

  When I was putting my shoes in my closet, there was a knock at the pool house door. Not bothering with the peep-hole or looking out the side window, I flung the door open quickly, welcoming any distraction from my crappy, mopey self. Except for this particular distraction.

  "Marcus, what the fuck? Get out," I said, closing the door.

  "Janelle, wait…can I come in?" he asked, putting his foot in the door when I tried to slam it shut, which only made me slam it harder the second time. "Oww fuck. Janelle wait." Marcus did the little jump around, shaking his foot.

  "Marcus, I've got nothing to say to you," I said, blocking him from entering my house.

  "Good, because I've got a lot to say to you," he replied, still trying to get inside.

  "Tell it to my lawyer, because you're not fucking coming inside my house," I yelled, finally slamming the door on him.

  Marcus knocked harder, yelling from the other side of the door. "Janelle please, I just want to apologize. I'm sorry…for everything. I was wrong. Way wrong."

  I stood on the other side of the door in utter disbelief, full out astonished. Marcus had never, I mean never, apologized to me for anything. Anything. I put my hand on the door handle, tempted to open it, to hear him out.

  "Listen to me," he said, pounding on the door. "I fucked up. I real
ly fucked up. Will you just talk to me? Please!"

  Marcus Flowers was begging me, saying "please" even, to get me to talk to him. I certainly didn't get the mother-fucking memo that Hell had frozen over. I decided to text Char. I needed her input.

  Holy shit. Did Hell freeze over? Marcus is on the porch begging to get inside. He's apologizing like it's his job. Advice please.

  I hit send and waited. Meanwhile, he didn't let up. "Janelle honey, please, we've been together for so long. Don't we owe it to ourselves, to each other, to at least talk?"

  Honey? Did he just call me "honey?" What the fuck was going on? Thankfully my phone dinged, alerting me to Char's response. I slid the bar over and read:

  If you fucking open that door, the next time I see you, you'll be in a body bag. I swear to God Janelle, do not open that door!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  "I signed the papers today, honey. You can have 50% of the sales on the house. Actually, you can have the house…all of it…if you want. I just want to talk to you," he said, his voice catching as he spoke. Holy shit. Was he crying? I'd never seen Marcus cry. I kind of wanted to see him cry. Horrible, I know, but true, so true. Seeing Marcus crying, hurt in agony would actually give me joy.

  Unlocking the door, I said, "Alright Marcus, what could possibly be going on for you to act like this?" I asked, still blocking him from coming in.

  "Can I come in?' he begged.

  "No."

  "Please Janelle," he asked again.

  "No. You're not coming in here," I reconfirmed.

  There was no way in the fucking world Marcus Flowers was coming into my house. I was actually surprised that I hadn't shot him in the face already. Granted, I didn't own a gun, but with as angry as I was at him, I probably could have conjured a manifestation of some gun to shoot his face or dick off right now.