The Bonded: The Allseer Trilogy Book I

by Kaitlyn Rouhier

  She took a cautious step forward, her shoulder brushing Tomias. His eyes never left the flames and she felt a stab of overwhelming sadness when he refused her hand. There was nothing to be done for him. His grief was beyond comprehension. She could only stand by his side and hope that somewhere within he found comfort in her presence.

  They watched the flames wash over Fenir, curling around his body as if to embrace him. He faded, claimed by the heat and smoke until he was no more. Kirheen choked back tears, biting her cheek to stop herself from crying. Goodbye my friend.

  Even long after the flames had died and the others had fled, she stayed with Tomias. The moon was big and bright above them, her gentle light making the surrounding trees glow even brighter. She probably would have stayed there all night had Trista not come to fetch them. Grieving as she was, she was still a healer and that part of her was strong as ever.

  The vial she downed was bitter but she found little heart to complain. She settled into her bed and let herself weep quietly until she couldn’t fight off the effects of the medicine any longer. She was pulled into a dreamless slumber, free of the pain that had hung over her like a cloud ever since she’d learned the truth. It was the last time she’d ever sleep there. The last time she’d ever see Sanctuary. A new life awaited her come morning and with it a new set of struggles.

  There were so many broken. He forced himself to knit their minds back together one by one, driving himself to exhaustion day by day. Those that had recently undergone the unbinding returned to the world just as they had been, but those that had spent years under the control of Nyson remained much as they were. There was nothing to be done with the broken but to leave them behind.

  In the end he opted for a merciful death and the others that had made the journey shared in the grim task. Each of them was given a proper burial and laid to rest, their symbols carved onto wraith wood planks so they’d never be forgotten. He only hoped Kirheen would approve.

  The Bonded, broken from the control that had been exerted over them were shocked to learn the truth. Just as Kirheen had been when she’d learned the reality beyond the woods, they found their whole world suddenly turned upside down. Without purpose, the idea of freedom was overwhelming and scary but in the end, they agreed to make the journey to the outside world. They agreed to leave their powers behind and start a life anew.

  They left Sanctuary as they had come, leaving the whispering woods behind once and for all. They carried the broken and battered with them and crossed the mountains that would lead them to their new lives.

  Chapter 41

  Kirheen examined herself in the small mirror above the washbasin. A row of stitches held her cheek together, a livid red line running between them. Despite the outward look of it, it was healing nicely. The same couldn’t be said for her arm and side, both of which were healing slowly. The pain came and went, washing over her in powerful waves when it did decide to strike. Leann had taken to dosing her with pain relieving tinctures to help her cope with the pain.

  If the external wounds were bad, the pain she felt in her heart could have been called catastrophic. The death of Fenir was fresh in her mind and she often suffered from terrible nightmares, reliving the events in the temple as if they were real. She’d awake screaming, often waking Tomias in the process. With little place to put them, they had both been set up in the barn, beds made out of hay in two empty stalls. It wasn’t the most comfortable bed she’d ever slept in, but it was a place to call home for the time being.

  The space between them was palpable. Most days, Tomias would barely eat, his eyes far away and filled with a pain Kirheen wished she could fix. But there was no fixing his loss, a loss that she blamed herself for causing. He had slain his brother in order to save her and while she was grateful, she would have given anything to save him from the pain he now felt.

  Each day she tried speaking to him and each day she was ignored until she finally gave up all together. Despite his silence, she laid his food out for him each day and covered him with a blanket at night. From time to time she brought him books and scrolls to keep him busy. Though a rare thing, she’d sometimes catch him reading, flipping through the pages with trembling hands.

  Garild, while in considerably better health, was of no help. His anger over losing his hand had faded in part to the slender, raven haired healer that had tended to him. They had grown close in her absence. She was gentle and kind and nurturing, all the things that Kirheen was not. She didn’t expect such a thing to hurt as bad as it did, but she found herself weeping for the friend she had lost, for the life with him she’d never had.

  She distanced herself from her old bond mate, too consumed by her own feelings of guilt and sadness to deal with the dying embers of his anger towards her. She needed his forgiveness but it was something she was willing to wait for. It would come in time and right now she needed to be alone.

  She kept herself busy, helping Leann on projects around the house to the best of her abilities. Leann claimed the movement would help her wounds heal better and though it was painful, it kept her mind busy which was more important than the pain she faced.

  As she grew stronger, she became restless. She took up lessons with Therin, learning about the world that she knew so little about. She learned that the great beast she shared a barn with was called a Horse, a strange kind of pack animal that made traveling easier. She studied maps, fascinated by the alien world around her. It was so large and she struggled to wrap her head around the sheer size of it all, of the amount of people said to live within each city.

  She learned of the deities, of the current Royal Family and their worship of Zekar the Nightbringer. The plight of her people was a convoluted web and the details of their struggles made her head spin. It was a struggle most of her kind tried to avoid. Having powers, Therin said, wasn’t worth losing their lives.

  And she learned other things; to cook and mend clothes and to tend to the horses. A gathering in the town led to a night of learning to dance and for the first time in weeks, she laughed, linked arm in arm with a boy as they twirled into the night.

  And on a day just like any other, after she’d risen from her bed and brushed the hay from her hair, Tomias spoke. At first she thought she had imagined it, thinking the small croaking sound had come from Benny, the speckled horse that slept across the barn. She eyed him curiously but the horse simply stared at her, his teeth working on a clump of hay. It was only when she caught movement out of the corner of her eye that she realized it was Tomias. He had moved from his usual spot, had stood with the painful rise of a man much older than he was. He used the post of the stall to raise himself up, his face contorted with pain.

  Kirheen was at his side in a flash, helping him stand. They took a few careful steps and then he sunk to his knees. She lowered him down carefully, sitting on the dusty ground with him, his arm draped around her shoulder. “Are you alright,” she asked cautiously, dawdling over him as if he were a child.

  He raised his dark eyes and his gaze locked on to hers. He reached out with an unsteady hand and touched the jagged red line on her cheek. “Thank you,” he whispered. There were tears welling in his eyes and she looked away, feeling ashamed that the mere sight of her could cause him such pain. “Thank you,” he said again. “Thank you for not leaving me. For not giving up.”

  She forced herself to meet his eyes and found herself lost in the beauty of them, of the strangeness of seeing life in eyes that she thought were forever dead. To see a hint of that spark took her breath away. “I wouldn’t leave you, Tomias. I’ll be right here.”

  “Can you help me back? I…don’t think I’m ready for this. I thought maybe…but…I can’t.”

  “I understand.” She helped him to his feet and lowered him back onto his makeshift bed. He leaned his head back against the stall, letting his eyes drift shut. She rose quietly, intending to let him drift back to sleep.

  “Kirheen,” he called and she stopped, turning her head to look over her
shoulder. He was staring at her intently, his cinnamon colored eyes swimming with an emotion she couldn’t define. He took a shaky breath and spoke. “It was always my brother. Ever since we were young…it was always him. Every bad thing that ever happened to us, he took the brunt of. Every scrape and bruise and broken bone was his to bear. And now… he’s gone, taken by my own hands.”

  Kirheen felt her voice crack as she spoke. “Tomias, I’m so—“

  He raised a hand to stop her. “Let me finish, please. I am broken, Kirheen. I can’t explain to you the pain I feel at having lost him. He was a part of me just as I was a part of him. I feel like a part of me has died. Maybe a part of me has.” He looked down at his palms, examining his hands as if they were foreign things. He opened and closed them a few times, squeezing feeling back into his long fingers. When he looked back up to her, his brow was furrowed. She shuddered, knowing full well what would come next. The blame for his death, pinned on her as it should be.

  “Despite this pain…despite everything that has happened, Kir, I don’t regret saving you.”

  She felt something heavy shift in her heart, a floodgate rising and a tide of emotion finally freeing itself from some place deep within her. She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned towards him, her lip quivering. She wanted so badly to say something, to ask him to say it again so she’d know for certain it was real.

  Instead he opened his arms, beckoning her to come closer. She ran forward, diving into him harder than she’d planned. He huffed, trying to reclaim the air she’d driven out of him with her elbow. Her wounds protested the movement, burning from the sudden impact. At the moment she cared little for his arms were wrapping around her, pulling her close. He settled his chin on top of her head and sighed.

  After a time he leaned away from her, raising a hand to settle on her cheek. His thumb gently caressed the puckered skin of her scar and she leaned into his touch. Those same fingers traveled to her arm, running along the bandages that protected her healing wound.

  “Does it hurt,” he asked, his face displeased.

  “It will heal in time,” she said softly. We both will.

  He nodded and pulled her against him, careful of the wound on her side. They remained that way, basking in a strange mix of hope and sadness that surrounded their world like a bubble. “What happens now,” he asked. “I know you too well. You won’t stay here forever.”

  Kirheen mused, mulling over the question. She’d thought long about her options, about what she planned to do. As much as she hated to admit it, he was right. She couldn’t stay there forever. She couldn’t just stay as she was, to grow old without a purpose. “I think I’ll visit the city. I want to see it with my own eyes. I keep hearing so much, I want to see it all, not just hear about it.”

  “Hmm, a change of scenery then?” He burrowed his cheek against her forehead. “I think I may have to go with you, you know, make sure you stay out of trouble and all.”

  “Oh please, like I ever get into trouble.” Benny neighed loudly, shaking his head. Kirheen looked over at him, her lips curling into a smile. “Yeah, a change of scenery would definitely be nice. This barn isn’t doing much for our good looks, is it?”

  “I’d say not,” he grinned, the first genuine smile Kirheen had seen on his face in weeks. It filled her with joy. She drifted to sleep in his arms, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, the steady drumming of his heart. She dreamt of places she had yet to see, of oceans and fields of grain, of crowded streets filled with bright tents, the streets alive with sound and the smell of spices. She dreamt of spiraling towers stretching into the sky like skeletal fingers and felt hope bloom in her heart once more.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Writing this novel has been by far one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences I’ve had in life. From the first spark of an idea to the rigorous writing/editing/designing process, I’ve had so much support in making this novel one that is worth sharing.

  To my parents; thank you! I’ve received nothing but love and support from the two of you as I’ve gone through this process. You’ve both been there to pick me up and brush me off when the going got tough. Thank you for pushing me to realize my dreams. This wouldn’t be a reality without you both!

  To my aunt Kim; thank you for putting up with me and letting me pay rent in chapters! I promise for the next book, I won’t make you wait so long. Thank you so much for all you’ve done to help push this project along!

  To my amazing little sister; you are my star; the light in my world when I need a laugh, a hug or someone to sing obnoxiously loud in the car with. You’ve grown into such an amazing young lady and I can’t wait to see you pursue your own dreams! I’ll be there to support you along the way!

  To Meghan; Words can’t express how much I appreciate all the hard work you’ve done helping me make this book a reality. Your never ending support and dedication to this project and to our friendship is a true testament to the wonderful person you are! Thank you for everything! Ready for round 2?

  To everyone else near and far; Whether it was a kind word, a helping hand or just good times, you helped shape this novel into what it is today. For that, you have my thanks!

  About the Author

  Author. Nerd. Lover of Bacon. Serial Hobbyist. Procrastination level: 9001.

  Kaitlyn Rouhier was born and raised in Southern Oregon. She spent much of her youth working random jobs and having too many hobbies until she decided to follow her dreams and become an author.

  Now she spends her days drinking tea and staring at blank word documents, all the while trying to discover the secret to being creative and motivated at the same time.

  This is her first novel.

  Find her on:

  Facebook.com/booksbykaitlyn

  Twitter.com/kaitlynrouhier

  www.rouhierwrites.com