If You Only Knew (Harper Falls #3)

by Mary J. Williams

  Not the right time. Tyler got that. Sometimes she couldn’t seem to help herself.

  “Sorry. Is there anything I can do?”

  Drew opened the bedroom door. He looked in, cursed, then turned back.

  “Clean towels, if you can find any. And hot water.”

  “I’m on it.”

  “Tripper? Get the first aid kit from under the sink. Chances are you’re going to have to get this idiot to a doctor.”

  “He won’t go. That’s why I came after you. Says nothing is broken. Most of the blood is from a cut on his scalp where Sandrine hit him with a bottle.”

  “I imagine Sandrine had her reasons.”

  “Well, they was—”

  “I couldn’t care less, Tripper.”

  They worked on Al for the next hour. Cleaning his cuts and bruises. Cleaning him up in general. He had sobered up enough to protest when Drew tried to get him to go for professional help. It didn’t appear anything was broken. The main concern was internal bleeding and a possible concussion.

  “You can’t make him go, Drew.”

  Tripper fixed a pot of coffee. He used the end of his grease-stained shirt to wipe the rim of a mug before pouring in the acrid-smelling black liquid. He offered it to Tyler.

  “No, thank you.”

  Even a coffee addict like herself drew the line somewhere.

  “Boss?”

  Drew shook his head. Al was sleeping. Or passed out. Probably a combination of the two.

  “I’m counting on you to watch him, Tripper. Wake him every hour. I’m still worried about a head injury. Those can jump up and bite you in the ass even when you think you’re fine.”

  Taking a big swig of coffee, Tripper wiped the back of his mouth on his shirtsleeve.

  “I know I let you down. I swear I’ve never seen him drink like that.” Tripper shook his head. He had a worn face, the kind that made it hard to tell if he was thirty or sixty.

  “What’s done is done. Don’t worry about it.”

  “It was a woman.”

  Tripper whispered the words, glancing furtively at Tyler.

  “You can speak up, Tripper,” Tyler assured him. “I’m not going to give you grief again. Who am I to talk? I showed up dressed like a stereotypical groupie. What does that say about me?”

  “That you have the longest legs I’ve ever seen?”

  Realizing that he spoke aloud, Tripper’s eyes almost bugged out of his head.

  “Sorry, Boss. Sorry, Miss Tyler.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about,” Drew assured him. “She does have pretty spectacular legs.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Tripper said it almost reverently. How could she have a problem with being admired? And in such a non-creepy way.

  “I’m going to check on the car.”

  They were on their way out of the RV.

  “If the people who did that to Al know who he works for, they might decide to take their remaining frustration out on my ride. It would be a nice bonus to knock me out of the race.”

  “Well, shit. Sorry, Miss Tyler. I never thought of that. Want me to go?”

  “No.” Drew took Tyler’s hand. “You stay with Al. Most likely the car is fine.”

  Tyler didn’t speak as they made their way back to Drew’s RV. There were still a few pockets of loud partying. For the most part, though, the campground had settled down for the night. The drivers might be a rag-tag bunch; they still had to respect the need for some sleep.

  Right behind the RV was a tent that Drew and his crew used to put the car in at night. It wasn’t big enough for anything else, leaving about a foot of walking space around the vehicle.

  Tyler sat on the hood while Drew made a quick inspection.

  “Everything looks okay.” He turned to her with a sigh, his eyes looking tired and slightly bloodshot. Even worn down from a long day, he was still the best-looking man she had ever known.

  “You’re awfully quiet.”

  Drew joined her, pulling himself up until his back rested on the windshield.

  “Shit.” He shifted, pulling the gun from behind his back and sitting in on the car’s roof. “It’s been so long since I’ve carried one of those, I forgot it was there.”

  “Why?”

  His head tipped back on the roof, eyes closed, Drew raised a brow.

  “Why did I stop carrying a gun?”

  “No. Why do you do this? Jack says part of it is the thrill. He also thinks you have a semi-death wish. Some complicated crap about your mommy issues and me. Rose says this is your version of running away to join the circus.”

  Drew snorted but didn’t speak.

  “Dani just thinks you’re an idiot asshole.”

  “Is that hyphenated?”

  Tyler wrapped her arms around her legs, hiding her smile behind her knees.

  “It can go either way.”

  They sat in silence for a few minutes listening to the blissful silence. It had gotten quiet enough to hear the noises of a desert at night. Owls, nighthawks, some kind of cat that made Tyler glad she was in here, not out there. The sounds blended in an almost hypnotic tone that could easily lull someone with less on their mind into a deep sleep. She wasn’t that lucky.

  “What’s your theory?”

  She waited for him to ask, wondering if he would.

  “A bit of all the above.”

  She turned, resting her cheek on her knee. Her eyes met his, now open, alert.

  “But that’s too easy.”

  “How so?”

  “If I thought you wanted to go out in a blaze of glory because Regina didn’t show you any love, I would kick your ass from here back to Harper Falls.”

  “I’d let you.”

  “Exactly.”

  She chuckled slightly, Drew joining her.

  “My ego likes the idea that I might be at the heart of it.”

  “Is that so? I’m surprised you’d admit that.”

  “That I have an ego? It’s quite healthy. It also lives in the real world. You wouldn’t still be doing this ten years later if I were the only reason.”

  “You always were the smartest one in the room. Any room.”

  “Smart enough.” She gave his leg a playful nudge with the toe of her sneaker.”

  “That leaves runaway or idiot.”

  “Idiot asshole.”

  “How could I forget?”

  She scooted back until she was stretched out next to him, their arms touching. Taking his hand, she laced her fingers with his. It was a surprisingly comfortable position, considering they had nothing but hard steel and glass underneath them.

  “You like it. Part of it’s the danger. Jack got that. Dani should have. She’s a bit a thrill-seeker herself. You, on the other hand, like the competition.”

  “Damn.”

  She turned her head. The look on Drew’s face was part consternation, part admiration.

  “You don’t deny it?”

  “What would be the point?”

  Drew tugged her body until she was laid out on top of him.

  “Nobody’s ever understood me like you, Ty.”

  He cupped her butt, softly grinding her against his already rock-hard cock.

  Moaning, Tyler took his head in her hands, kissing him like the world was ending. She pulled back, out of breath and grinning.

  “You could enter legitimate races.” She trailed kisses across his face as she spoke. “Indy, NASCAR, Formula One. Money certainly isn’t an issue. Though I imagine plenty of sponsors would jump at having you as the face of their racing team.”

  And what a face it was, Tyler thought. Drew would be the perfect poster boy. Sexy, gorgeous. He would have a huge following in no time.

  “Ty.”

  Drew’s fingers flexed, tightening on her ass. Was he supposed to think when she kissed him like that? She asked him questions. She must be expecting cognizant answers.

  “Hmm?”

  “You know what you’re doing to me, don’t you?
”

  She shifted again until his legs opened, cradling her hips even deeper. He was hard and ready. Just the way she wanted him.

  “I have a pretty good idea.” Batting her sparkling gray eyes, Tyler smiled. “Now, tell me about why you like to race in the wind instead of going legit.”

  “You really want to do this now?”

  She nodded, bending for another kiss.

  “No.”

  He gently pushed her off, giving himself room to think clearly. He wanted her too much. Right now, the blood in his body could either flow to his cock or his brain — not both.

  “Five minutes. Ask me anything. After that, your body is mine. Nothing but moans and dirty talk. Got it?”

  Tyler’s gaze drifted to the lovely bulge between Drew’s legs.

  “It can wait.” She wasn’t sure she could.

  “You started this, Ty.”

  “Fine.” Tyler sighed. “Tell me why you race in the wind.”

  “You did do your research. Do you know why they call it that?”

  “I couldn’t find the etymology. Is it because you feel free when you don’t have rules to follow?”

  “I love your brain, Ty.” And I love you. Too soon. Don’t blow this by pushing her too far, too fast. Drew cleared his throat.

  “The no rules is part of it. A big part. But the origin comes from actually running from the law. Racing out here, away from civilization, was too tame back in the day. They wanted the police to show up. The longer someone could elude the cops, or be in the wind, the more of a legend they became. There were no trophies, no money. It was all about reputation.”

  Fascinated, Tyler leaned closer.

  “That’s changed, hasn’t it?”

  “There are still street racers. I was never interested in killing pedestrians so I’ve always avoided urban areas.”

  “Tell me what you love about all this. Jack told me you’d pretty much stopped until a few months ago.”

  Jack had a big mouth. Though Drew had to admit, he was glad Tyler was here. For the first time, he felt her moving towards him instead of away. That might not have happened as quickly, or at all, if they weren’t together now.

  “I started racing back in college. I was so angry, Ty. After leaving Harper Falls, I did three things. Worked, went to class, and got into fights.”

  “Drew.” Tyler picked up his right hand. She ran her thumb over the knuckles, searching for some long-ago injury.

  “I didn’t lose very often.”

  Or at all. He had been a scary son of a bitch. Taking his rage out on any jerk he came across. If he caught a guy pushing his girlfriend around, Drew took him down. Pick on someone who couldn’t defend himself? He stepped in. He would think of Regina, her cold cruelty, and he would beat the shit out of any poor sucker who got in his way.

  “Jack never mentioned any of that.”

  “Jack never knew. I had it pretty well out of my system before classes started. I met Jack that first week. There was only one fight after that; my last.”

  “What happened?” Tyler held her breath.

  “I didn’t kill anybody, so you can relax. I did knock out an innocent guy, though. I was at a dive bar, as usual. I was already sick of fighting. Sick of my self-pity. I was calling it a night when I saw what looked like a big guy beating on a much smaller one.”

  Naturally, Drew couldn’t walk away from that. He clocked the big guy. Knocked him on his ass. Then, when the police arrived thirty seconds later, he found out the “little guy” had attacked a woman. The “big guy” had stopped a rape and Drew had rewarded him with a fist in the face.

  “Were you arrested?”

  “Nope. I deserved to be. Instead, I made a lifelong friend.”

  The man hadn’t pressed charges. He told the police Drew had been helping him. That it was the rapist who knocked him down.

  “He saw something in me, Ty. Recognized the rage. He’s the one who introduced me to racing. I don’t know if it saved my life. It probably kept me out of jail.”

  “I’d like to meet him someday.”

  “You already have.”

  Tyler thought for a moment.

  “You mean Tripper?”

  “The one and only. He helped me get my first car dirt-cheap. Showed me the ropes; watched my back. I stopped fighting and took my aggressions out on the race course.”

  “And you loved it.”

  “I did.”

  Drew had taken to the world of unsanctioned racing like a duck to water. Early on, he couldn’t afford to travel very far. Tripper would let him know when there was a race close enough to college to get there and back in a weekend.

  “And after you graduated?”

  “There wasn’t much time for that. Jack and I spent every waking moment on our computers or being bodyguards. Tripper and that world became a thing of the past.”

  “What made you start again?”

  “Tripper showed up in Los Angeles. He looked like hell, Ty. If you think he’s gaunt now, you should have seen him then. Six feet tall and I doubt he weighed one-forty. He’d been sick, needed money. I would have given him every spare dime I had. I just didn’t have any. We poured everything we earned back into H&W. Jack and I were so close, Ty. Closer than we knew. Three months later, we sold our first program. We were rich.”

  “But Tripper needed the money right away,” Tyler said. “Even if you had known what was about to happen, he couldn’t wait three months.”

  “He’d borrowed from loan sharks to pay his medical bills. The money was due and some mean ass dudes were on his trail.”

  “Jesus, Drew.” Unconsciously, Tyler squeezed his hand — hard. “This is like something out of the movies.”

  Drew peeled her hand off his. Tyler gave him a sheepish grin, leaning over to lightly kiss the fingers she had almost crushed.

  “Sorry, you develop a pretty strong grip as a sculptor.”

  “If you ever get your hands on my dick, I’ll keep that in mind.”

  “When that happens, I’ll be just the right kind of rough. Trust me, you’ll love it.”

  Drew swallowed, then swallowed again. The blood he needed for thinking was quickly traveling south again. Okay, time to move this story along to its conclusion.

  “Tripper needed money. He knew about a race just across the Mexican border with a big purse.”

  “You’re a good friend. An idiot, but a good friend.”

  “Hey, I kind of resent that.”

  “The fact that you only kind of resent it speaks volumes.”

  “Fine,” Drew grumbled. “The point is, I entered the race, won, paid off Tripper’s debt. End of story.”

  Drew reached for her, his intent clear. Time for sex. Tyler swatted his hands away.

  “Oh, no you don’t. You can’t leave it there. Why are you still racing? If you still feel the need to take care of Tripper, money is no longer a problem.”

  “Can’t you let it go? I’ve already decided this is my last race. I’m hanging it up, heading for the stables.”

  “Save the clichés, Drew. I’m thrilled, ecstatic, over the moon.”

  “Good, then come here.”

  Tyler put a hand on his chest, keeping solid foot between them.

  “Finish the story, Drew.”

  “Jesus, Ty.” Drew ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Fine. You want to hear it all? I thought it would keep me young.”

  “Vanity?” Tyler thought for a moment she had to have misheard. “You risked serious injury or worse. Because you were what? Staring your twenty-fifth birthday in the eye?”

  “H&W was taking off. It was grown-up time, Ty. Racing was my way of putting my responsibilities behind me for a few days.”

  “And Jack? What would he do if you broke your neck?”

  “Jack is the most stable, together person I’ve ever known. He was going to be fine before he met me; he’d be fine if I disappeared tomorrow.”

  This time she knew she heard him, she just couldn�
�t believe what was coming out of his mouth. Unable to stay still, she hopped off the car and began to pace. She didn’t have much room, only taking a few steps before she had to turn and walk the other way.

  “Tyler. Why are you so angry? You didn’t know what was happening.”

  “So if you had died, I wouldn’t have cared? Is that what you’re saying?”

  “I don’t know. Would it have mattered?”

  Tyler went from hot to cold in an instant.

  “Of all the horrible things you’ve said to me, that is the worst. By far.”

  And he knew it. Drew quickly slid off the car gathering her close. Tyler didn’t fight, he wished she would. Her body was stiff, her face turned away.

  “I’m sorry, Ty.” Drew tightened his arms around her. “I said it without thinking. I didn’t mean it.”

  “I’ve never wanted you dead. Not at my lowest point.” She softened — just a little.

  “You did want to punch me.”

  “I dreamt about it.” She smiled. Then frowned. “Never anything serious, Drew. I’m glad I didn’t know about all this. I would have worried.”

  “And that would have pissed you off.”

  “Yes, because I wouldn’t have wanted to care. I told myself often enough that I didn’t. Finding out in such a dramatic way that I was just kidding myself? It might have sent me after you just so I could kick you in the ass.”

  “Now I wish you had found out.” He took a deep breath. Might as well get everything out on the table.

  “The race before this one? That was the first time I thought of you.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  Drew turned, lifting her so she sat on the trunk. He stood between her legs, hands on her waist. His eyes were dark, a little sad.

  “Regina pulled that crap ass move.”

  Tyler nodded. “I still can’t figure out how she knew which were my designs. I thought I was getting around her by submitting entries under four different names.

  “She has eyes and ears everywhere,” Drew said with disgust. “If you really want to know, I’ll find out.”

  Tyler thought about it for a moment, then nodded.

  “Isn’t knowledge the ultimate power? If we ferret out Regina’s moles, we become better prepared for whatever crap she’ll pull next.”

  They both knew that was bound to happen. Regina couldn’t leave well enough alone. And if Drew and Tyler took this home? If they were seen together around town? Who knew what might happen in that twisted mind. This time the top of her head might finally blow completely off.