Harlequin Special Edition November 2014 - Box Set 2 of 2: The Maverick's Thanksgiving BabyA Celebration ChristmasDr. Daddy's Perfect Christmas

by Brenda Harlen

  And Nora had a feeling that guilt stemmed from something she knew nothing about.

  Chapter Eleven

  Eli shifted, rolled over and opened his eyes. Blinking twice he focused on the beauty in his bed. That vision could cure any ailment.

  With her blond hair spread around the pillow, his pillow, and her delicate hand beneath her cheek, Nora even slept like an angel. How long had his guardian been keeping watch over him?

  Eli sat up and the room spun just a bit. Lethargy and an empty stomach were definitely things he could handle. Thankfully his fever was gone.

  More than once he thought he woke to someone stroking a cold cloth across his head, his chest. Now he knew for a fact someone had and that someone was Nora. She’d sacrificed herself again and he didn’t deserve her undying loyalty.

  Todd hadn’t deserved it, either.

  Nora was a true gem and, in Eli’s opinion, better than anybody. But she needed to get out of here. She needed to start keeping her distance because, God help him, he wanted more. He wanted her, and the sight of her tangled in his sheets only solidified the ache, the want.

  After he carefully walked to the bathroom and gave himself a few minutes to freshen up so he didn’t look like death warmed over, he went back into the living area and crossed to the bed.

  Easing down on the edge of the mattress, Eli laid a hand on Nora’s delicate shoulder. A very unladylike snore filled the silence and Eli couldn’t help but smile. She’d die if she knew she sounded like a farm animal. And even that tiny imperfection only made her that much more adorable.

  Damn it. Now he was thinking of terms like adorable. His brothers would punch him in the face if they knew.

  Eli slid his free hand over the scar above his eye. Wouldn’t be the first time he’d gotten into a fight where this woman was concerned...and he’d do it again in a second to defend her.

  Glancing at the clock, he was surprised to see it was almost noon. Thankfully it was Saturday.

  “Nora,” he said softly.

  She stirred, her lids blinking open. She looked across the room, then up to him. In a second she sat straight up and put a hand to his face.

  “Eli, are you all right? Why are you up?” She scrambled to get the sheet from her waist. “You should’ve yelled for me. I didn’t mean to sleep so long.”

  Eli placed both hands on her shoulders, easing her back down on the bed. “Calm down, Nora. I’m just fine.”

  Her brows drew together as she reached up to feel his forehead. “Your fever is gone. Thank God. I was hoping those cold cloths and the meds would help. But how do you feel?”

  “When a man wakes up to a beautiful woman in his bed, he feels pretty damn good.”

  Nora rolled her eyes. “I’m serious.”

  “Me, too.”

  “Well, you must feel fine since you’re hitting on me.” She started to get up, but Eli placed a hand on either side of her hips, trapping her beneath the sheet. “Why the hurry?”

  “Because...well, just because.”

  Rendering her speechless was quite a compliment. Eli smiled. “How are you feeling? Baby still moving okay?”

  Nora nodded. “She’s pretty active.”

  Eli wanted to feel the baby, wanted to lay his hand on her stomach, but what right did he have? This wasn’t his child, wasn’t his woman. But a part of him wished desperately that both belonged to him.

  He was nervous for Nora, nervous for a healthy baby to come into this world. Damn it, he’d even bought the baby a Christmas present even though she wouldn’t be here in time for Christmas. He couldn’t stop himself when he’d seen the little purple stuffed elephant in the grocery store the other day. One minute he’d been getting milk and bread and the next he found himself in the baby aisle looking over everything from wipes to puff snacks. Then a small section of plush toys had caught his eye and the purple elephant had ended up in his cart.

  He was a total goner and he hadn’t even met the baby yet.

  With her eyes locked on to his, Nora eased up the hem of her sweatshirt and placed his hand against her warm abdomen. The slight movement had him spreading his fingers, wanting to feel more, wanting to hold this moment forever.

  Resting her hand over his, Nora’s smile spread across her face, her eyes lit up. “I never get tired of feeling her move.”

  Guilt slid through Eli as he slid his hand away and came to his feet. Damn it. He couldn’t get more entangled. He already wanted too much.

  “Something wrong?” she asked, her eyes meeting his as she tugged her shirt down. “I just assumed you didn’t mind, but I know some guys are grossed out by pregnant women.”

  “Those guys are idiots,” he told her, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck. “I love feeling your baby, Nora. I just... Damn it, Todd should be here. He should be the one experiencing this. I feel like I’m invading his space.”

  Nora shoved her hair back away from her face, untangled herself from the sheet and eased back against the headboard. “You’re not invading his space, Eli. To be honest, if he were still alive, I don’t even know that we’d be together.”

  Shock rippled through him. Surely she didn’t know. Waiting to see how much information she let out would be best. God knew he didn’t want to hurt her any more than she’d already been.

  “Why wouldn’t you be?” he asked.

  Nora toyed with the stitching on the edge of the old quilt on the bed. “We weren’t like most married couples,” she whispered. “The love...it just wasn’t there. Not the way a husband and wife should love each other. I loved him as a friend and he felt the same with me, though neither of us quite came out and said it that way.”

  Eli eased back down on the edge of the bed and laid a hand on her leg. What could he say? She sounded so vulnerable, so torn. Empty words wouldn’t help, wouldn’t repair the broken marriage or bring Todd back.

  “When he came home the last time I was determined to fight for our marriage.” Her eyes came up to meet his. “I only planned on marrying once, having one family with one man. I wanted that security, that bond.”

  Yeah, he knew all about that stability she’d craved. Never once in her life had she had someone to fully depend on. Everyone had left her—from her parents, to Todd...to him. He was just as guilty.

  “So I tried to do everything for him when he came home,” she went on. “I made his favorite meals, seduced him trying to build a romance...but I could feel him slipping away. I blamed the army. I can’t imagine what you guys see, what you all do, when you’re gone. I wanted him to know I was here for him no matter what. But a piece of him was missing and he wasn’t even acting like my friend anymore.”

  Eli clenched his fists, hating how broken she sounded. Those unshed tears in her eyes pierced his heart, which was nothing less than what he deserved.

  “I found out he’d died on a Thursday,” she whispered. “Friday I was served divorce papers and on the morning of the funeral two weeks later I discovered I was pregnant.”

  Eli had no words. Divorce papers? Todd had never mentioned that. Had he really planned on divorcing her and he never mentioned it? Instead, he’d come home on leave, slept with her and left without a single word.

  Eli’s anger for his late friend sent rage through him. What the hell kind of coward did that?

  But then reality set in. Those divorce papers had to be partly Eli’s fault. The fight he and Todd had gotten into, the one and only time they’d thrown fists at each other, had been over Todd’s infidelity. Eli hadn’t been able to stand it any longer. Nora had deserved better and Todd got angry when Eli called him on the matter.

  But this was the first he’d heard of divorce papers.

  His eyes focused back in on Nora as she wiped a single tear slipping down her cheek. The woman had always been so strong, so proud, heaven forbi
d people see her as human.

  Eli reached out, grabbing her hands in his. “Nora, Todd and I did see some ugly things. It’s a whole different world over there, a world I’m sure he didn’t want to talk about with you because he was only here for a short time. I truly had no clue about the divorce papers. He never said anything to me.”

  “I wondered.” She looked down at their clasped hands. “I was so embarrassed when I got them. That sounds selfish and cruel, but I couldn’t believe it. I was still in shock over his death, but then to have those come, I just...I never thought he’d actually leave me. Especially without talking to me about it.”

  Yeah, that was something Eli couldn’t believe, either. But there was nothing he could do about Todd’s choices now, nothing he could do to ease her pain. Sometimes life experiences sucked and only time could heal them.

  Eli cupped her chin, raising her gaze to meet his. “You were an amazing wife. Todd was lucky to have you. Maybe he felt you shouldn’t have to put up with a husband who was always gone or maybe he was dealing with so much... Hell, I don’t know. I just know I don’t want you blaming yourself.”

  “Who else would be to blame?” she asked.

  Stroking his thumb along her jawline, Eli stared into her damp eyes and knew he couldn’t tell her the real reason she wasn’t to blame. She was already hurting, why add to it? Why tell her Todd was sleeping around? That time had come and gone and Nora was trying to rebuild her life, her future, with her baby.

  He wished he could give her everything she’d ever wanted. Nora should have the world handed to her because she’d been through an insane amount of heartache in her life. And yet she kept fighting.

  “You’re going to be an amazing mother,” he told her.

  A slight smile formed across her lips. “I hope so.”

  As her eyes continued to hold his, sadness and worry slowly turned into something else...something more heated and curious. Those baby blues darted to his mouth, then back up to his eyes.

  She could tempt the strongest of saints. Unfortunately, where Nora was concerned, he wasn’t strong at all and he sure as hell had never been a saint.

  With his hand still cupped beneath her chin, Eli eased forward, closing the gap between them and claiming her lips. She parted for him, slowly sliding her tongue across his, slowly torturing him with her softness, her sweetness.

  Over the past several years he’d been hardened from all he’d seen and taken part in. But right now, with Nora’s delicate touch, he knew she deserved someone who could be gentle, patient. The hurt in her would take time to heal, and while he may want to be that man, in reality that was impossible. Even though she had moved on from her failed marriage with Todd, Eli didn’t deserve her, either.

  Yet he didn’t back away.

  Placing both hands on the sides of her face, he shifted his body and eased her down onto his bed. Nora’s hands slid over his bare shoulders and into his hair.

  Those delicate fingertips left gooseflesh in their path. The swell of her breasts, the slight bump in her abdomen, felt perfectly right tucked against him. Everything about Nora in his bed felt perfectly right.

  Except the fact she shouldn’t settle and he wasn’t staying.

  Allowing himself another second of bliss, Eli finally eased back, then rested his forehead against hers.

  “Nora, we can’t do this.”

  Her hands came to curl around his shoulders. “I know.”

  “It’s so hard to resist you. So hard when I want you more than my next breath.”

  “I understand.”

  Eli doubted it, but he sat up, trying to keep his eyes off her swollen lips, her tousled hair and how damn good she looked spread out on his sheets.

  “We need to get out of here before I totally forget I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

  “I’ll just head on home.” She eased her legs around him and stood. “I’m really glad you’re feeling better, Eli.”

  He watched as she headed to the door to get on her shoes. When she reached up for her coat, Eli crossed the room in two strides and gripped her arm, turning her to face him.

  “Since we both have the rest of the day off, I have an idea,” he told her. “What do you say?”

  “What’s the idea?”

  “I’m not telling. Are you in or not?”

  Her eyes narrowed as she bit her lip, then she finally nodded. “Okay, but I at least have to change and you...well, you need to be wearing more than boxers and socks.”

  “Deal.” Eli laughed. “Let me grab a quick shower and check on Mom and Dad. I’ll be at your house in thirty minutes. Oh, and dress warm.”

  As soon as she left, Eli’s eyes traveled back to the bed. Getting her out of that had been the smartest move he’d made—the hardest move, but still his smartest.

  Shaking his head as he moved toward his bathroom, Eli figured up the time he had left in Stonerock. On one hand, he couldn’t leave soon enough. On the other, the thought of leaving clenched his heart. He’d never been ready to stay in one place before.

  Unfortunately, now he had two places he wanted to be.

  * * *

  Nora had no clue where they were going. The silence in the car was deafening and Eli’s fresh-from-the-shower aroma enveloped her.

  That intense moment on his bed really had her thinking...as if she’d been able to concentrate on much else other than this man lately.

  As they passed all of the neighborhoods and turned to head into town, Nora wondered what he had in mind. She had a pretty good idea.

  “You sure you’re feeling better?” she asked.

  “Promise. There’s no way I’d be out with you if I thought I’d get you sick.” He reached over, grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I’m still upset you stayed and put yourself at risk, but if the roles were reversed, I would’ve done the same.”

  Nora smiled. “Is that your way of saying thank you?”

  “Yes. You were there when I needed you.”

  But where were you when I needed you? She wanted to ask, but let the moment pass. Rehashing the past over and over would get them nowhere and, to be honest, she didn’t want to live in the past. She totally loved the Eli she used to know, but this Eli was different. There was almost a vulnerability to him. He’d seen and done more in his life than she’d ever know, which added a layer of intrigue.

  The new Eli who greeted her nearly every day had her thinking of the future, thinking of them in ways she probably shouldn’t.

  He captured her attention and touched her deeper than he ever had before. And even though he was leaving soon, he was here now and she’d take every second with him and turn it into a blessed memory.

  When Eli turned into the park entrance, Nora smiled. Talk about a memory. They’d shared many here.

  “This okay?” he asked, turning to look at her.

  “More than okay. I haven’t been here forever.”

  “Seriously?”

  Nora stared at the light dusting of snow covering the fountain in the middle of the entrance, the evergreen wreaths on the gates. “I never take the time to come. Occasionally I’ll walk a few of the long-term boarding dogs, but I tend to just do that on the street by my clinic.”

  “Well, then, we’ll just have to make the most of it today.”

  Giddy with excitement, Nora jumped from Eli’s truck and pulled her hat down farther over her ears. Even the chill in the air couldn’t ruin this moment.

  When he came around the side of the truck and took her hand, Nora accepted it and let him lead her through the entrance. Since it was nearing evening, some families were out showing kids the Christmas displays set up around the park. A small makeshift cabin posed as Santa’s toy shop, an old red caboose was adorned with a festive garland and a Santa was actually standing at the railing taking p
ictures with a line of children.

  Nora’s free hand went to her belly as she thought of her baby girl. This time next year she’d be in that line waiting for precious milestone pictures.

  Eli’s hand squeezed hers. “I can already see you dressing up your little girl for her first photo with Santa.”

  Smiling up at him, Nora nodded. “I can’t wait.”

  They walked on, heading toward the arched stone bridge that crossed over the wide creek running through the park. Nora stopped on the bridge, resting her hands on the concrete barrier.

  “I’ve always loved this spot the most,” she told him, looking down at the water, outlined by snow.

  Eli leaned down, wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side. “I know. You told me you wanted to get married in this park, right here on the bridge.”

  Shocked, Nora turned her head to look up at him. “You remember that?”

  That had always been her idea of a dream wedding, but dreams obviously change.

  “I assumed you and Todd would marry here.”

  Nora shook her head. “I would’ve, but he was being deployed soon so we just went to the courthouse.”

  The muscle in Eli’s jaw ticked and Nora looked back down to the water.

  “You’ve had to give up so much,” he murmured. “And you still find the positive outcome in everything.”

  “I learned long ago there’s always someone with bigger problems than me. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t have many problems. I’m healthy, my baby is healthy.”

  Eli’s hand on her waist slid slightly around to rest on the side of her belly. The warmth from his touch reached through all the layers and she loved the strength he possessed.

  “Sometimes I wish I’d never left you.”

  Nora froze, turning her body and resting her bottom on the bridge railing. Looking down to her brown gloves, she stared at the creases in the leather, focusing on anything other than his admission.

  “When I first left I questioned myself every single day,” he went on, still staring out across the creek. “My first deployment helped keep my mind off you, but then Todd started talking about you and I knew the two of you had started something. I tried to tell myself that was for the best, that you’d moved on and you deserved to be happy. I knew after he got out he planned on living in Stonerock.”