Sweet Affliction [Sweet Awakenings 4] (Siren Publishing Classic)

by Nicole Morgan

  The speech she had prepared mentally and was ready to give him was suddenly completely out of the question. She wondered why she had even considered saying the words. Meeting his kiss and giving into the moment was all she could manage.

  Several minutes later Nick pulled away. Both of his hands framed her face, and he stared at her. She was breathless and unable to do anything but look into his eyes. They were the most intense blue she could ever remember seeing. The color brought to mind the hottest point of a flame and only reminded her that her body was getting warmer. An intense ache was starting to consume her, and she found herself wishing that his hands would wander her body until they found those aches and alleviated them.

  “I want you, AJ.”

  Those four simple words ignited the embers that were burning somewhere inside her. In that very moment she could feel a wet heat seep from her and coat her panties. The ache she felt was now a painful emptiness. Her breasts suffered the same sense of neglect as her nipples pebbled and seemed to throb in agony over not being catered to.

  Every part of her mind that she always used for reason and logic seemed to have short-circuited as she fought the urge to tell him just how badly she wanted him, too.

  Insecurities flooded her mind as she thought about how much of a mess she must have looked. She had done absolutely nothing to fix herself up. She hadn’t even worn any perfume or body spray in days. How on earth could he possibly want her? Was he still under the influence of his pain medication?

  She wished she didn’t feel so inadequate compared to the kind of women that a man like Commander Nick Slater had been with, but she couldn’t ignore the realization that a man like him probably had a girl in every port who looked like she could take her pick between being a Hawaiian Tropic girl or a Playboy centerfold. It was insane of her to think she could ever compare to women like that.

  No matter how great of a kisser he was or how much her body seemed to ache for anything he was willing to give her, she couldn’t be a fool. Nick Slater was a Navy SEAL for Christ’s sake. She would be kidding herself if she thought a man like him could ever go for a woman like her.

  She pulled away from him and got up off of the bed. Backing away she purposely put several feet in between them before she said anything.

  “I only woke you to tell you there was a message.” She pointed to the laptop and quickly looked away. The evidence of his wanting her was very clear through the two-sizes-too-small sweatpants he was wearing.

  “Don’t run away from me. I wasn’t the only one into that kiss.”

  Change the subject, AJ. Quick, say something. “I should make you something to eat. You need your strength. I’ll be back in a little while. You can have privacy while you read your mail.”

  She quickly left the room, all but running from it and closing the door behind her. Never before had she been able to relate to the purpose of a cold shower, but now it seemed so very appropriate. He was saying something to her as she shut the door, but she’d purposely sounded his words out, refusing to listen for fear that she would turn right around and go back in there, giving him exactly what he wanted.

  Whatever was going on with the both of them, she needed to try to stop it. Nick Slater might be incredibly sexy, but they had no future. Getting hurt had never been on her list of things to do, and she knew if she gave herself to him she would fall for him. Fall hard.

  She shook her head. “You can’t allow that to happen, AJ,” she whispered to herself.

  Chapter 17

  Nick pounded his fists against the mattress. He wasn’t lying when he told her he wanted her. It was insane how much he did. Just holding her wrist had already broken his self-control. That was why he grabbed her so forcefully. It wasn’t his style to be so rough and caveman-like. The need to feel her body against his and explore her mouth was too strong. He just took her, not even considering the possibility that she may not be feeling the same thing he was.

  He shook his head. He remembered all the women over the years who had slapped him across the face and warned him that one day he would find a woman who didn’t fall at his feet. That day had finally come.

  His exes had finally gotten their wish. He couldn’t remember ever wanting someone with so little encouragement as he did AJ, but make no mistake, he wanted her like his life depended on it. He tried not to laugh at the irony of his thoughts. His life had depended on AJ taking care of him, and she did. In retrospect, he should be grateful to her for that, not grabbing her like he was some sort of animal.

  Suddenly he remembered he had a new message. He got up from the bed slowly, trying not to jar himself and agitate his side, which was still sore. Clicking on the e-mail, he couldn’t help but smile. He knew Adam well. The message staring back at him from the newly made e-mail address confirmed his prayers were answered. Adam caught on to the clues and knew something was going on. It was the only way to explain the reference to New York City.

  He rubbed his jaw at the memory of when Adam coldcocked him in Times Square right after he had gone on a drunken rant about some girl he was sure he saw first at a bar they’d been to. They didn’t fight over women, and as a whole, team guys had a rule to never do so. Women were to never come in between the brotherhood. He had been drunk off his ass though and completely unaware of how big of a jackass he was being. Adam squared him away real quick though. He squared him away right onto the sidewalk. Not one of the other guys had helped him out either. They all just shook their heads at him in disgust and disapproval.

  Now that he had Adam’s attention he had to figure out what to do next. At least his mind was eased knowing that he’d gotten his friend’s attention in time. He was now on alert. Anyone targeting him wouldn’t have the element of surprise. He prayed that the same could be said for Rex and Jack as well.

  He needed a disposable cell phone, one that couldn’t be traced to him and, most importantly, AJ. Now that Adam had set up an alternate e-mail he could send him a number and they could at least talk and figure out what was going to be their plan of action.

  Taking several deep breaths he tried to clear his mind from thoughts of how good she had felt pressed against him. A cursory glance down at his lap told him it wasn’t working. His dick was hard and throbbing, just begging for release. Release wasn’t all that he wanted though. He wanted her.

  Despite his desire to have her, she made it clear she didn’t feel the same. He hated it, but the last thing he was going to do was push himself on her. She’d taken care of him for days. Hell, she’d even cleaned up his vomit. The woman deserved a damn medal or to be made a saint, not groped like she was some tipsy girl he picked up in a bar.

  “Get your shit together, Slater. You’re a damn SEAL.” He chided himself for having such little self-control.

  For several minutes he removed AJ from his mind and went over the events since Tom had been assassinated right in front of him. He replayed everything Liam told him. Anything and everything, but AJ was on his mind. At least that’s what he kept telling himself.

  He couldn’t put it off any longer. He needed to talk to her. Whoever Broderick hired to take him out would still be gunning for his former teammates. They needed to nail this son of a bitch for good and make him rue the day he ever sacrificed his brothers for his selfish reasons. Then he could come back from the dead.

  It didn’t take long to find her. She was making some eggs and bacon in the kitchen. The smell alerted him to her location faster than the sound of the sizzling meat did. He stood on the opposite end, watching her silently work. Her hair was up in a ponytail now. Loose strands were falling everywhere around her face. The khaki shorts and plain T-shirt she wore looked like they were made for her body for the sole purpose of teasing him.

  She jumped when she turned and saw him. The spatula in her hand fell to the floor.

  “Jesus, I’m sorry. I wish you weren’t so afraid around me.”

  He closed the distance between them and picked up the utensil off the floor. The pai
n rocketed through his side from the simple maneuver, but he didn’t care.

  “It’s okay. I just didn’t realize you were standing…”

  He couldn’t help himself. He took her nervous hands in his. “AJ, I’m sorry for the way I acted back there. I will respect you from now on. You didn’t deserve that.”

  Thankfully her face softened by his words. He didn’t want her to feel unease. He wished he could see her smile again, but he forced himself to turn away and move several steps away. The need to touch her face and kiss her again was overpowering him.

  “Are you all right, Nick? The food is almost ready. I was going to come get you when it was dished up.”

  He kept his back turned to her. Why the hell was she still taking such good care of him? It would be so much easier if she wasn’t so sweet. If only she wasn’t such an amazingly caring person. He worked his jaw and tried to think of his bullet wound and what he was dealing with.

  “Nick? Are you upset with me?”

  What? He swung around at her. “Upset with you? No.”

  He went to sit at the kitchen table. Despite the yard or so separating them he needed to widen the gap. He was still too close to her.

  “What’s wrong then? Are you in pain?”

  If she only knew. “No. I’m fine.”

  She came to him and placed a hand on his forehead. “You look flushed. Did your fever return?”

  Damn it to hell. What the hell was she trying to do to him? Make him suffer? He had a fever all right but not the kind from an infected bullet wound. Just having the back of her hand rest against his forehead was making him want to grab her and pin her to the floor.

  He removed her hand and motioned toward the chair beside him. “I need to ask you a favor. Could you sit down?” He wished she didn’t look worried when he asked.

  “Sure. Let me get the pan off the stove.”

  He waited for her to return. It infuriated him that he had a hit out on his life, his friends’ lives, his friend was dead, and he couldn’t stop thinking of her.

  “Okay, what is it?”

  He hated to ask her to leave so soon again after just getting back. He really should have thought of it earlier, but it was too risky having him go into town.

  “I need you to get a disposable cell phone.” He saw the hesitance in her eyes as she looked toward the hall. “AJ, I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

  She looked down and seemed to be thinking over her answer. “You’ll look after him? I have to go a little farther to get to the bigger market that might have them.”

  “I promise. I will stay in the room with him the whole time you’re gone.”

  He was surprised but thankful when she looked at him with relief. “I believe you.”

  It was going to be getting dark in the next couple hours, and he didn’t want her out there walking alone. “You need to hurry though. Darkness will be here before we know it. I don’t want you still out there then.”

  She rose from the table. “Let me just peek in on him first. I’ll be right back.”

  He wanted her to hurry but was glad that she out of the room. Just having her near was a test of his willpower. Somehow he was going to have to get himself in check. There was no way he was going to accomplish anything when he was constantly hard and aching to be inside of her.

  “He’s sleeping now. I shouldn’t be more than an hour and a half. It takes a little over a half an hour to get there. Then I’ll get what I need and hurry back.”

  She was putting her purse strap around her neck as she spoke. He stared at her, completely entranced at how beautiful she looked. Her hair was in a ponytail, and loose strands were falling all around her face. She wore no makeup, and her eyes were shaded underneath with fatigue.

  He stood up to get the door for her. “Please be careful, AJ.”

  “I will.”

  She smiled at him as she assured him. Seeing those pearly whites was his undoing. He took her face in his hands and pulled her to him, his lips crushing hers while his tongue slid into her mouth seeking the same response he had gotten from her earlier.

  Please God, don’t let her push me away, he silently prayed.

  Like the Lord had truly heard him, he felt her hands wrap around his neck as she moved closer to him. Her tongue, her silky and seductive tongue, met his and stroked it, teasing him. Only a moment kissing her and his cock was already throbbing unbearably hard again.

  He moved her against the doorjamb and planted his legs on either side of hers. She was trapped and surrounded by his body. Dropping his hands from her face he slid them down her sides, catching the fullness of her breasts as he continued his path until he was able to grab her hips and pull her closer.

  She whimpered, and he swallowed the sound. Thoughts of making her whimper as she writhed underneath his body ran through his mind. She had seen his body, but he was dying to see hers. He wanted to know what her nipples looked like. He wanted to see them pebbled under his touch.

  Suddenly he felt her pushing him away, ruining the moment. “AJ, please.”

  Breathless, she pushed him farther away. “Nick, I can’t do this. I need to get to town and hurry back.”

  Fuck!

  He ran a hand through his hair and placed his other above her head on the doorjamb, resting his forehead against hers.

  “You’re making me crazy. I can’t help myself.” His words came out in a whisper, and they surprised him probably more than they had her.

  She stared at him and bit her lower lip. He wanted to scream “no fair!” like a child, wishing he was the one nibbling on her succulent lips.

  “Tell me you feel it, too.” He kissed her lips softly, sliding his tongue along her lips, trying to entice her.

  “I…I have to go, Nick.”

  He hated how nervous she looked. He wanted her to look flushed and needy for him. “AJ, you kissed me back. I know you liked it. You can’t fake that kind of response.”

  A moment of sexual tension loomed in the air between them. He had never pushed any woman like this before, but he had never felt this way either. His need for her felt elemental. Primal.

  “I have to go. I’ll hurry back.” She pushed past him and ran down the stairs to the sandy beach.

  He watched her as she disappeared into the distance, refusing to look away. She never looked back to meet his stare. Shaking his head, he wondered if he was crazy. Could he have been imagining her response to him?

  No. There was no chance. Her body betrayed her. No matter what words she said, he knew she wanted him, too. Regardless of how stubborn she was they were going to have a talk when she got back. Because one thing was for certain, sooner or later he would have her. The idea that he wouldn’t wasn’t something he was willing to accept.

  Chapter 18

  AJ ran as fast as she could away from Nick and the beach bungalow. Her need to distance herself from him was essential to her survival. The way he was making her feel could only end badly for her. She had way too much to deal with already.

  Her father was dying. No matter how much she tried to deny it, it was inevitable. Sooner or later his body was going to give in to the cancer, and she would be all alone. Getting involved with Nick Slater in any way was the last thing she could deal with right now.

  She was well out of Nick’s sights by now, but she kept running. Even though she never turned back to look at him she could feel his eyes boring a hole right through her. Everything about him was intense. His kiss was like a magnet. No matter how much her mind protested any response to him, her body gave in each time.

  A combination of stress and exhaustion made her slow her pace. Her run turned to a jog and then quickly to a slow walk. She was tired, not just physically but emotionally. She couldn’t exactly go running through town anyway. That was a surefire way to grab the attention of the locals. While she was no expert on how to be a super sleuth, she figured that after faking the death of a United States Navy SEAL, drawing any attention to them was an all-aro
und bad idea.

  A young boy sat on the street corner next to a bucket of wilting flowers. She smiled at him and handed him two coins. He tried to hand her a flower, but she shook her head at him.

  “Por tu mama.”

  He couldn’t be more than ten years old, but every time she came to town she saw him peddling flowers that she was sure he’d gotten out of a dumpster from the big florist in town. She heard rumors that his mother was ill. She didn’t know what was wrong with her, but the boy’s determination and situation made her heart go out to him. He was far too young to go through the pain of losing a parent. She reminded herself to say a prayer for him that night when she went to bed.

  The market she needed to get to was just a few blocks up. She hurried her pace, deciding she’d pick up a small treat for the boy while there. Hopefully he would be here when she came back this way.

  Inside the market she wandered for a bit, trying to find the prepaid phones. She didn’t want to ask for help to locate them, afraid the two women at the counter would turn her into the latest town gossip.

  Finally she found the phones. There were only three to choose from. One looked like a toy phone you would give to a toddler. Another looked like a phone she remembered owning about ten years ago. The last option was a bit more updated but still looked to be a version at least a couple of years old. Of course it was the most expensive, but she knew this wasn’t the time to be frugal. She picked up the phone along with two cards for one hundred minutes of usage each.

  Picking up a couple of chocolate bars and a soda, she made her way to the front register. The two women standing on the other side gave her a smile and spoke to each other in Spanish before laughing. She knew they were making fun of her, and she didn’t really care. Let them see her as nothing more than a stupid tourist. The last thing she wanted to do was stand out.