Angela Carter's Book Of Fairy Tales

by Angela Carter

  THE HUSBAND WHO WAS TO MIND THE HOUSE

  (NORWEGIAN)

  here was once a man so surly and cross that he never thought his wife did anything right in the house. So one evening, in hay-making time, he came home, scolding and swearing, and showing his teeth and making a dust.

  ‘Dear love, don’t be so angry, there’s a good man,’ said his goody; ‘tomorrow let’s change our work. I’ll go out with the mowers and mow, and you shall mind the house at home.’

  Yes, the husband thought that would do very well. He was quite willing, he said.

  So, early next morning, his goody took a scythe over her neck, and went out into the hay-field with the mowers and began to mow; but the man was to mind the house, and do the work at home.

  First of all he wanted to churn the butter; but when he had churned a while, he got thirsty, and went down to the cellar to tap a barrel of ale. So, just when he had knocked in the bung, and was putting the tap into the cask, he heard overhead the pig come into the kitchen. Then off he ran up the cellar steps, with the tap in his hand, as fast as he could, to look after the pig, lest it should upset the churn; but when he got up, and saw the pig had already knocked the churn over, and stood there, routing and grunting amongst the cream which was running all over the floor, he got so wild with rage that he quite forgot the ale-barrel, and ran at the pig as hard as he could. He caught it, too, just as it ran out of doors, and gave it such a kick that piggy lay for dead on the spot. Then all at once he remembered he had the tap in his hand; but when he got down to the cellar, every drop of ale had run out of the cask.

  Then he went into the dairy and found enough cream left to fill the churn again, and so he began to churn, for butter they must have at dinner. When he had churned a bit, he remembered that their milking cow was still shut up in the byre, and hadn’t had a bit to eat or a drop to drink all the morning, though the sun was high. Then all at once he thought ’twas too far to take her down to the meadow, so he’d just get her up on the house-top – for the house, you must know, was thatched with sods, and a fine crop of grass was growing there. Now their house lay close up against a steep down, and he thought if he laid a plank across to the thatch at the back he’d easily get the cow up.

  But still he couldn’t leave the churn, for there was his little babe crawling about on the floor, and ‘if I leave it,’ he thought, ‘the child is safe to upset it.’ So he took the churn on his back, and went out with it, but then he thought he’d better first water the cow before he turned her out on the thatch, so he took up a bucket to draw water out of the well; but, as he stooped down at the well’s brink, all the cream ran out of the churn over his shoulders, and so down into the well.

  Now it was near dinner-time, and he hadn’t even got the butter yet; so he thought he’d best boil the porridge, and filled the pot with water, and hung it over the fire. When he had done that, he thought the cow might perhaps fall off the thatch and break her legs or her neck. So he got up on the house to tie her up. One end of the rope he made fast to the cow’s neck, and the other he slipped down the chimney and tied round his own thigh, and he had to make haste, for the water now began to boil in the pot, and he had still to grind the oatmeal.

  So he began to grind away; but while he was hard at it, down fell the cow off the house-top after all, and as she fell, she dragged the man up the chimney by the rope. There he stuck fast; and as for the cow, she hung halfway down the wall, swinging between heaven and earth, for she could neither get down nor up.

  And now the goody had waited seven lengths and seven breadths for her husband to come and call them home to dinner; but never a call they had. At last she thought she’d waited long enough, and went home. But when she got there and saw the cow hanging in such an ugly place, she ran up and cut the rope in two with her scythe. But as she did this, down came her husband out of the chimney; and so when his old dame came inside the kitchen, there she found him standing on his head in the porridge pot.

  PART FOUR

  GOOD GIRLS AND WHERE IT GETS THEM

  EAST O’ THE SUN AND WEST O’ THE MOON

  (NORWEGIAN)

  nce on a time there was a poor husbandman who had so many children that he hadn’t much of either food or clothing to give them. Pretty children they all were, but the prettiest was the youngest daughter, who was so lovely there was no end to her loveliness.

  So one day, ’twas on a Thursday evening late at the fall of the year, the weather was so wild and rough outside, and it was so cruelly dark, and rain fell and wind blew, till the walls of the cottage shook again. There they all sat round the fire busy with this thing and that. But just then, all at once something gave three taps on the window-pane. Then the father went out to see what was the matter; and, when he got out of doors, what should he see but a great big White Bear.

  ‘Good evening to you,’ said the White Bear.

  ‘The same to you,’ said the man.

  ‘Will you give me your youngest daughter? If you will, I’ll make you as rich as you are now poor,’ said the Bear.

  Well, the man would not be at all sorry to be so rich; but still he thought he must have a bit of a talk with his daughter first; so he went in and told them how there was a great White Bear waiting outside, who had given his word to make them so rich if he could only have the youngest daughter.

  The lassie said ‘No!’ outright. Nothing could get her to say anything else; so the man went out and settled it with the White Bear, that he should come again the next Thursday evening and get an answer. Meantime he talked his daughter over, and kept on telling her of all the riches they would get, and how well off she would be herself; and so at last she thought better of it, and washed and mended her rags, made herself as smart as she could, and was ready to start. I can’t say her packing gave her much trouble.

  Next Thursday evening came the White Bear to fetch her, and she got upon his back with her bundle, and off they went. So, when they had gone a bit of the way, the White Bear said –

  ‘Are you afraid?’

  ‘No! she wasn’t.’

  ‘Well! mind and hold tight by my shaggy coat, and then there’s nothing to fear,’ said the Bear.

  So she rode a long, long way, till they came to a great steep hill. There, on the face of it, the White Bear gave a knock, and a door opened, and they came into a castle, where there were many rooms all lit up; rooms gleaming with silver and gold; and there too was a table ready laid, and it was all as grand as grand could be. Then the White Bear gave her a silver bell; and when she wanted anything, she was only to ring it, and she would get it at once.

  Well, after she had eaten and drunk, and evening wore on, she got sleepy after her journey, and thought she would like to go to bed, so she rang the bell; and she had scarce taken hold of it before she came into a chamber, where there was a bed made, as fair and white as anyone would wish to sleep in, with silken pillows and curtains, and gold fringe. All that was in the room was gold or silver; but when she had gone to bed, and put out the light, a man came and laid himself alongside her. That was the White Bear, who threw off his beast shape at night; but she never saw him, for he always came after she had put out the light, and before the day dawned he was up and off again. So things went on happily for a while, but at last she began to get silent and sorrowful; for there she went about all day alone, and she longed to go home to see her father and mother, and brothers and sisters. So one day, when the White Bear asked what it was that she lacked, she said it was so dull and lonely there, and how she longed to go home to see her father and mother, and brothers and sisters, and that was why she was so sad and sorrowful, because she couldn’t get to them.

  ‘Well, well!’ said the Bear, ‘perhaps there’s a cure for all this; but you must promise me one thing, not to talk alone with your mother, but only when the rest are by to hear; for she’ll take you by the hand and try to lead you into a room alone to talk; but you must mind and not do that, else you’ll bring bad luck on both of us.’

/>   So one Sunday the White Bear came and said now they could set off to see her father and mother. Well, off they started, she sitting on his back; and they went far and long. At last they came to a grand house, and there her brothers and sisters were running about out of doors at play, and everything was so pretty, ’twas a joy to see.

  ‘This is where your father and mother live now,’ said the White Bear; ‘but don’t forget what I told you, else you’ll make us both unlucky.’

  ‘No! bless her, she’d not forget;’ and when she had reached the house, the White Bear turned right about and left her.

  Then when she went in to see her father and mother, there was such joy, there was no end to it. None of them thought they could thank her enough for all she had done for them. Now, they had everything they wished, as good as good could be, and they all wanted to know how she got on where she lived.

  Well, she said, it was very good to live where she did; she had all she wished. What she said beside I don’t know; but I don’t think any of them had the right end of the stick, or that they got much out of her. But so in the afternoon, after they had done dinner, all happened as the White Bear had said. Her mother wanted to talk with her alone in her bedroom; but she minded what the White Bear had said, and wouldn’t go up stairs.

  ‘Oh, what we have to talk about will keep,’ she said, and put her mother off. But somehow or other, her mother got round her at last, and she had to tell her the whole story. So she said, how every night, when she had gone to bed, a man came and lay down beside her as soon as she had put out the light, and how she never saw him, because he was always up and away before the morning dawned; and how she went about woeful and sorrowing, for she thought she should so like to see him, and how all day long she walked about there alone, and how dull, and dreary, and lonesome it was.

  ‘My!’ said her mother; ‘it may well be a Troll you slept with! But now I’ll teach you a lesson how to set eyes on him. I’ll give you a bit of candle, which you can carry home in your bosom; just light that while he is asleep, but take care not to drop the tallow on him.’

  Yes! she took the candle, and hid it in her bosom, and as night drew on, the White Bear came and fetched her away.

  But when they had gone a bit of the way, the White Bear asked if all hadn’t happened as he had said.

  ‘Well, she couldn’t say it hadn’t.’

  ‘Now, mind,’ said he, ‘if you have listened to your mother’s advice, you have brought bad luck on us both, and then, all that has passed between us will be as nothing.’

  ‘No,’ she said, ‘she hadn’t listened to her mother’s advice.’

  So when she reached home, and had gone to bed, it was the old story over again. There came a man and lay down beside her; but at dead of night, when she heard he slept, she got up and struck a light, lit the candle, and let the light shine on him, and so she saw that he was the loveliest Prince one ever set eyes on, and she fell so deep in love with him on the spot, that she thought she couldn’t live if she didn’t give him a kiss there and then. And so she did, but as she kissed him, she dropped three hot drops of tallow on his shirt, and he woke up.

  ‘What have you done?’ he cried; ‘now you have made us both unlucky, for had you held out only this one year, I had been freed. For I have a stepmother who has bewitched me, so that I am a White Bear by day, and a Man by night. But now all ties are snapt between us; now I must set off from you to her. She lives in a castle which stands east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, and there, too, is a Princess, with a nose three ells long, and she’s the wife I must have now.’

  She wept and took it ill, but there was no help for it; go he must.

  Then she asked if she mightn’t go with him.

  No, she mightn’t.

  ‘Tell me the way, then,’ she said, ‘and I’ll search you out; that surely I may get leave to do.’

  ‘Yes, she might do that,’ he said; ‘but there was no way to that place. It lay east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, and thither she’d never find her way.’

  So next morning, when she woke up, both Prince and castle were gone, and then she lay on a little green patch, in the midst of the gloomy thick wood, and by her side lay the same bundle of rags she had brought with her from her old home.

  So when she had rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and wept till she was tired, she set out on her way, and walked many, many days, till she came to a lofty crag. Under it sat an old hag, and played with a gold apple which she tossed about. Her the lassie asked if she knew the way to the Prince, who lived with his stepmother in the castle that lay east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, and who was to marry the Princess with a nose three ells long.

  ‘How did you come to know about him?’ asked the old hag; ‘but maybe you are the lassie who ought to have had him?’

  Yes, she was.

  ‘So, so; it’s you, is it?’ said the old hag. ‘Well, all I know about him is, that he lives in the castle that lies east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, and thither you’ll come, late or never; but still you may have the loan of my horse, and on him you can ride to my next neighbour. Maybe she’ll be able to tell you; and when you get there, just give the horse a switch under the left ear, and beg him to be off home; and, stay, this gold apple you may take with you.’

  So she got upon the horse, and rode a long long time, till she came to another crag, under which sat another old hag, with a gold carding-comb. Her the lassie asked if she knew the way to the castle that lay east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, and she answered, like the first old hag, that she knew nothing about it, except it was east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon.

  ‘And thither you’ll come, late or never; but you shall have the loan of my horse to my next neighbour; maybe she’ll tell you all about it; and when you get there, just switch the horse under the left ear, and beg him to be off home.’

  And this old hag gave her the golden carding-comb; it might be she’d find some use for it, she said. So the lassie got up on the horse, and rode a far far way, and a weary time; and so at last she came to another great crag, under which sat another old hag, spinning with a golden spinning-wheel. Her, too, she asked if she knew the way to the Prince, and where the castle was that lay east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon. So it was the same thing over again.

  ‘Maybe it’s you who ought to have had the Prince?’ said the old hag.

  Yes, it was.

  But she, too, didn’t know the way a bit better than the other two. ‘East o’ the sun and west o’ the moon it was,’ she knew – that was all.

  ‘And thither you’ll come, late or never; but I’ll lend you my horse, and then I think you’d best ride to the East Wind and ask him; maybe he knows those parts, and can blow you thither. But when you get to him, you need only give the horse a switch under the left ear, and he’ll trot home of himself.’

  And so, too, she gave her the gold spinning-wheel.

  ‘Maybe you’ll find a use for it,’ said the old hag.

  Then on she rode many many days, a weary time, before she got to the East Wind’s house, but at last she did reach it, and then she asked the East Wind if he could tell her the way to the Prince who dwelt east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon. Yes, the East Wind had often heard tell of it, the Prince and the castle, but he couldn’t tell the way, for he had never blown so far.

  ‘But, if you will, I’ll go with you to my brother the West Wind, maybe he knows, for he’s much stronger. So, if you will just get on my back, I’ll carry you thither.’

  Yes, she got on his back, and I should just think they went briskly along.

  So when they got there, they went into the West Wind’s house, and the East Wind said the lassie he had brought was the one who ought to have had the Prince who lived in the castle east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon: and so she had set out to seek him, and how he had come with her, and would be glad to know if the West Wind knew how to get to the castle.

  ‘Nay,’ said the W
est Wind, ‘so far I’ve never blown; but if you will, I’ll go with you to our brother the South Wind, for he’s much stronger than either of us, and he has flapped his wings far and wide. Maybe he’ll tell you. You can get on my back, and I’ll carry you to him.’

  Yes! she got on his back, and so they travelled to the South Wind, and weren’t so very long on the way, I should think.

  When they got there, the West Wind asked him if he could tell her the way to the castle that lay east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, for it was she who ought to have had the Prince who lived there.

  ‘You don’t say so! That’s she, is it?’ said the South Wind.

  ‘Well, I have blustered about in most places in my time, but so far have I never blown; but if you will, I’ll take you to my brother the North Wind; he is the oldest and strongest of the whole lot of us, and if he don’t know where it is, you’ll never find anyone in the world to tell you. You can get on my back, and I’ll carry you thither.’

  Yes! she got on his back, and away he went from his house at a fine rate. And this time, too, she wasn’t long on her way.

  So when they got to the North Wind’s house, he was so wild and cross, cold puffs came from him a long way off.

  ‘BLAST YOU BOTH, WHAT DO YOU WANT?’ he roared out to them ever so far off, so that it struck them with an icy shiver.

  ‘Well,’ said the South Wind, ‘you needn’t be so foul-mouthed, for here I am, your brother, the South Wind, and here is the lassie who ought to have had the Prince who dwells in the castle that lies east o’ the sun and west o’ the moon, and now she wants to ask you if you ever were there, and can tell her the way, for she would be so glad to find him again.’

  ‘YES, I KNOW WELL ENOUGH WHERE IT IS,’ said the North Wind; ‘once in my life I blew an aspen-leaf thither, but I was so tired I couldn’t blow a puff for ever so many days after. But if you really wish to go thither, and aren’t afraid to come along with me, I’ll take you on my back and see if I can blow you thither.’