Dirty Daughter

by JB Duvane

  “Close your legs, Emily. And fix your dress," I said, softly but firmly.

  She paused, then did as she was told, thankfully. She sat up in the chair, a half-cocked grin on her beautiful face. I grabbed a tissue off of my desk and moved her chin up with a finger.

  “Clean up your face.” I couldn’t have anyone who might happen to come to the door see the makeup running down her cheeks. Emily looked deep into my eyes, and leaned forward to try to kiss me.

  I backed away, tossing the tissue in her lap and pretending not to notice what she had tried to do, even though I wanted to taste her lips so badly. I swallowed hard at what that meant.

  When I looked back down at her she was just finishing up with a pocket mirror. I held her chin in my hand and rubbed out a smudge with my thumb—like a father might do for a young girl—then walked around to the other side of my desk, carefully pulling out my chair and taking a seat, exactly as I had been sitting before.

  Neither of us said a word for a moment. Emily stood up and smoothed down the front of her dress before sitting back down on the edge of her seat.

  I spoke to her slowly and softly. "Emily, you know what we just did was wrong."

  I waited for her to respond. She looked down at her hands for a moment, then met my eyes with a smirk. “Am I the first patient to ever suck you off then?"

  When I didn't answer right away, she looked down again. "Yeah, I didn't think so."

  "Emily, I don't make a habit of engaging in these sorts of activities in my office, and it is never to happen again. If you are not able to behave yourself when you come to see me, then we are going to have to cease our sessions together."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I mean that I will not tolerate your inappropriate behavior again. I will not be coerced into situations that jeopardize the validity of our relationship. I encouraged you to come visit me so that I could help you, and events such as these are going to greatly hinder that. I think you know that, Emily."

  "So you want to help me, huh?" Emily asked, her voice raising an octave. I could sense that she was on the verge of a breakdown, and this wasn't going to be good.

  "Yes, Emily. I have made my intentions clear from the beginning. I would be much better equipped to help you if you would open up to me about your life and your past. I am afraid that your recent behavior is not conducive to a therapeutic environment.”

  "You sure looked like you were getting some therapy a few moments ago, doctor. You know, when your cock was in my mouth?" Her voice was getting louder and she was becoming combative.

  "That is quite enough. I can't have you talking like that in here. “ I told her with sternness that showed that I meant business. “I don’t think this conversation is headed in a—“

  "You want to know about my life and my past?” She wasn't slowing down a bit. “I’ll fucking tell you what you want to know!”

  "I need you to calm down first, Emily. Can you do that for me?" I asked her gently, softening my face and taking deep breaths in hopes that it would have an effect on her. She looked like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

  "Why do you think I was sent off to boarding school, doctor?"

  She nearly spat the word "doctor" at me each time she said it. The deeds to the property still sat on my desk, freshly signed. I slid them into a folder, so as not to have to look at them during this heated situation. The presence of the papers was too much of a reminder to myself that I had already let this relationship get into territory that might cause me trouble in the long run. I had led us both down this path—willingly. I was starting to think I had been too cocky. My cock was cashing checks that my heart couldn’t sign. At least not anytime soon. Now that I thought about it didn’t know how I imagined it would play out any different than it was right now.

  "Emily, I would appreciate it if you would calm down first before we went any further with this conversation. I don’t feel that it’s beneficial for either of us when you react so severely to everything I say. I could also do without your insulting tone."

  "You’re the one who has insulted me!" She burst into tears. "You're no fucking different! You claim to want to help me, but you can't handle it when you get to the truth!"

  "Emily, I have asked you for the truth many times, and you have chosen not to trust me with it."

  "Fine!" Emily screeched. "You want the damn truth? When I was only twelve fucking years old, my own father came into my bedroom and ordered me to take off my nightgown!” She was still yelling and making a scene, but after a long pause she calmed down. I could see the tears streaming down her cheeks even though her head was turned down.

  “He touched me everywhere that night. From that time forward he came into my room whenever he felt like it and ordered me to strip naked and kneel before him. He told me if I didn't do it that he was going to tell everybody that I did it on my own—that it was all my idea.” She started to quietly sob and I handed her a tissue. It broke my heart to see her like that. I had the impulse to gather her in my arms and comfort her, but I was still feeling uneasy about what I had allowed to happen not fifteen minutes ago.

  “Of course, I believed him,” she finally choked out. “Whenever I would kneel, he would make me open my mouth, and then he'd tell me he had something sweet to put in it, like it didn’t already know what it was going to be. Over the next few months, his visits became more frequent—so often that I could hardly bear to go to bed at night knowing what was going to happen.”

  Emily finally looked up at me and stared into my eyes. “You wanted to know about my childhood so you could help me? Well, then help me now, Dr. Max. Why don't you pull down your pants so you can help me some more, just like my father used to do?"

  That last sentence was like a kick in the stomach. I felt like all of the wind had been knocked out of me and all I could do was look at her where she sat across the desk while her cold stare cut into me—her face flushed and her eyes bloodshot.

  "My bitch mother—the one that you seem to think so highly of—is the one that sent me away. She didn’t do it to protect me, she did it to protect herself. She wasn't some scholarly saint who wanted a better education for her daughter, which I'm sure is what she must have told you. She wanted me out because she thought I was stealing her husband—my father. She was pissed because her own husband wanted me to suck his cock instead of her. I ran to her crying after I couldn't take the shame of what was happening with him any longer. I expected her to save me. Do you think she lifted a finger to help me when I told her what her husband did to me? My own father? Fuck no! That fucking bitch slapped me across the face, told me I was a liar and shipped me off. Is that what you wanted to know? Are you fucking happy now? Now that you know how fucked up I really am?“

  All of this spilled out of Emily in a flurry of emotion and angst, through heaving sobs. I was shocked by what I was hearing. I’d had no idea. Amelia had never mentioned any of this to me.

  "Emily, please. I am sorry to hear all of this. I had no idea." I handed her another tissue, and she took it, but looked offended by my offer. I knew that what she really wanted was to get inappropriately close again, but that was not going to happen.

  She snatched the tissue from the box, dabbing at her eyes. Suddenly, she looked at me with an unsettling darkness.

  "I know that you used to fuck my mother, too,” she said deliberately, with an antagonizing look on her face.

  "I don't know what makes you think—“

  "Don't give me that bullshit, Max. I know you fucked her." She wasn't crying anymore. Now she looked like she just wanted to start a fight. "I was there.” She threw her head back and laughed.

  "Our time is up, Emily." I said calmly. I stood, crossing the room to pick up her purse and hand it to her. "You should be going now. I have another patient coming in a few minutes." She looked at me incredulously, in disbelief that I was kicking her out.

  She stood shakily and snatched her purse from my hands, giving me an icy stare. "When is my nex
t session, doctor?" she asked with sarcastic formality.

  "I may not be able to fit you into my schedule anytime soon. I’ll have my receptionist call you when there’s an opening.“ I reached for the door handle and started to slowly open it for her. "I will keep you informed about the sale of the house, though. Until then …” I said, standing at the open door and looking down at her while I waited for her to leave.

  Her face twisted and her eyes filled with rage. I gestured for her to leave and she stalked through the doorway with balled up fists—her long, blonde hair swaying side to side as she angrily stormed down the hallway without looking back. She certainly had her mother's temper as well as her looks.

  I couldn't help but smile to myself as I watched her perfect, lovely ass disappear around the corner. Even though I had a few moments earlier where I wasn’t sure about any of this, I was suddenly filled with a rush of relief. I had her. I had that hot little girl exactly where I wanted her—wrapped around my goddamned finger. And very soon she would come to rely on me for everything. I would be in control of her entire life.

  7

  Just a Boy (Emily)

  Please, pick up your phone, I silently thought to myself. I had been trying to reach my so-called friends all afternoon, and not a single one of them had picked up yet. They were probably all getting ready for college, going shopping for dorm room accessories with their mothers before going off to some Ivy League school.

  I just wanted to talk to someone—anyone. I felt horrible about the way things ended with Max and I just needed some perspective. It had been so long since I’d talked to him—almost two long weeks—and I felt like everything that went wrong between us was my fault.

  I couldn’t be all bad, though. I couldn’t be the one that was to blame for everything, but that’s exactly how I was feeling. That’s how he made me feel, anyway. That I was disgusting and horrible and he couldn’t stand to talk to me as a doctor, let alone look at me again. He hated me, I knew it. And I couldn’t bare the thought of him feeling that way about me now. Not after what had happened between us.

  As a last resort, I decided to call Kelly, my best friend from before I had been sent away. Kelly and I hadn't had much contact over the last few years, but she was the only friend that I had that lived in town and who’s number I still had in my phone. Early on, we’d made a point to see each other every break, and we always had a good time, but our visits had become less frequent and it had been over a year since I’d seen her or even talked to her.

  She’d been on a family vacation in the Czech Republic the month that my mother died, so her and her family did not attend the funeral. I knew from her Facebook posts that she had recently returned. Being a private person, I had made a point not to publicize anything that had happened. Kelly would have no idea and would undoubtedly be shocked at the news.

  "Hey, girl!" Kelly answered, recognizing my number just before voicemail picked up. "Long time no see! We have so much catching up to do!" Kelly was always so bubbly. I was thankful that she had picked up, I really needed someone to chat with right now.

  "You're telling me! Thank god you picked up! I'm all alone in my mother's house and I am going fucking batty over here!"

  "Where's your mom? I thought she was the one that made you go batty in the first place. Enjoy the silence while she's out!" Kelly giggled.

  "My mom died, Kelly. About a month ago, while you and your family were away."

  Kelly was silent a moment. "I'm so sorry, Em. I had no idea. Oh my god, I'm so sorry I wasn't there for the services—“

  I cut her off, "You weren't even in town. Really, it’s no biggie. It was a private thing, you know, just here at the house—which I inherited, by the way. I’m living here all alone now. Just me and this great big house."

  "Wow, I can't believe that,” Kelly breathed.

  "I know, right? It happened literally two days after I got home after graduation. She was hitting the pills hard, and well … that's the kind of thing that happens when you're set on self-destruct like she was.” Kelly knew all about my mother and her habits so I didn’t have to explain any further.

  "Jesus. I mean, I know you're right, but that's still so shocking. How are you dealing?" Kelly sounded genuinely concerned. It was nice to have a real friend to talk to. As much as I wanted to be with Max, he really didn’t seem to help much when it came to my relationship with my mother. Talking to him about it made me want to scream. At least with Kelly it was easy. She gave me sympathy and didn’t expect me to examine anything too closely.

  "Well, the hardest part has been living in this ridiculously large house all alone. There’s a housekeeper that comes a few times a week and some landscapers during the day to mow the lawn and stuff like that, but that's about it. It's fucking creepy here. Sometimes I hear stuff in the other end of the house and I am way too scared to even go find out what it is. I just stay put and hope it's not an axe murderer!"

  “Oh, sweetie! That’s horrible! What have you been up to during the day? Are you going out at all? You can't just stay cooped up in that place all day long. You’ve seen The Shining, haven’t you?” Kelly asked.

  "Oh, thanks, that makes me feel so much better, Kel," I laughed. "But, truth is, you're the only friend I have left around here. I was gone all through high school and I didn't stay in touch with anybody else."

  “What about your friends from school? Where are they?”

  “They’re all over the place. But none of them are within hours of here. I tried calling a few of them, but everyone’s too busy,” I said, genuinely feeling sorry for myself.

  Kelly heaved a sigh. "We're going out, girl. I am not going to let you turn into some crazy cat lady over there."

  I laughed. "Thanks, Kel. I knew you'd have something up your sleeve."

  "Did you have a boyfriend at school?"

  “No." I laughed again. “It was an all-girls school and we were on lockdown pretty much 24/7. You'd think my clit was the freakin' Hope Diamond the way they made sure no boys got onto the school grounds.”

  "Well, then, we need to fix that, don't we?" Kelly sounded excited. "Since you're not seeing anyone—“

  "I didn't say that I wasn't seeing anyone now." I corrected her.

  "Wait, so you do have a boyfriend?"

  "Well, not exactly, but I will soon."

  "I thought you didn't know anyone out here anymore? Who's the mystery man?" Kelly pressed.

  "I can't say anything about our relationship yet—I’m sworn to secrecy.” At least that was partially true. "But he's as good as mine. He’s just really busy right now. He works a lot so he can’t be over here all the time.”

  "Well, then, technically you're still single, and by the sounds of things, I don't think you should be sitting around that creepy old house waiting for your secret lover to come get you. You're young and you're pretty, Em. He’d better step up his game if he’s serious."

  Kelly was right. If Max wanted me he needed to get it in gear. I didn’t want him to think I’d wait around for him forever, even though I knew perfectly well that I would.

  “Well, I am pretty fucking bored. What did you have in mind? A party or something?"

  "We need to get you laid. I have the perfect dude. Get dressed, and look sexy. You're goin' out tonight."

  "Tonight?" For some reason I suddenly felt like I was betraying Max. I knew that was crazy. He was the one that told me to leave—that he didn’t have room in his schedule for me.

  What the hell? I thought to myself. I’m not going to just sit around and wait for him.

  "Yes, girl, don't make me repeat myself!" Kelly laughed. "His name is Jason, and you're gonna have to ring out your panties when you see him. I'd date him myself if he weren't my boyfriend's best friend."

  "Fine," I agreed. “Tonight.” I was nervous but I really did need to get out of this house and get Max off my mind.

  "Great! I'll pick you up tonight at around eight.”

  “I can drive myself. Just tell me
where to meet you.”

  After we made the arrangements, I hung up the phone, feeling excited but still nervous. I was feeling so horrible about what had happened with Max when he told me to leave his office. Even though I couldn’t get him off my mind, I needed to prove to myself somehow that I was desirable. I knew I was going to wait for him—as long as it took to make him mine—but I wasn't going to just sit around in this depressing house while I was waiting. It was time for me to go out and have my fun, and I was going to make sure he knew about it.

  I showed up at the restaurant at eight, just as we had planned. I’d never been on a blind date—actually not many dates at all to be honest—and I really wanted my car there in case it sucked and I needed to get out quick.

  Jason was scorching hot, as promised, and the night had turned into a late one. He happened to have been slightly older than me, which Kelly hadn't mentioned, but was a total plus. After dinner he purchased a bottle of wine for us, and we sat on the benches by the river, drinking and chatting and making out. While it wasn't the same level of heat that I had felt for Max, his kisses were nice. I was still so distracted by thoughts of Max, though, that I couldn’t really get into it.

  Jason was a lovely distraction, but even though he was older than me he still seemed like such a boy. I was after a man, and Jason just didn't have what it took to get me going. I felt like hours went by while I laid under him, waiting to get worked up enough to even want to take my clothes off.

  I kept fantasizing about the way Max had held both my wrists in one of his massive hands, and the look on his face while he rammed his cock down my throat. And those eyes of his. They way they burned into me while I sucked his cock, and even after when he touched my face. I couldn’t get the image of him off my mind and eventually I told Jason to stop. I just couldn’t go through with it. I didn’t want to fuck anyone else. I wanted Max.