The First Lady

by Carl Weber

  I know she wanted to ask me who he was, but she probably didn’t want to risk looking nosy. Then we’d be right back to where we were a few minutes ago. I wondered if she had any idea but decided she couldn’t. If she thought it was the bishop, she wouldn’t be sitting there so calmly. After all, she was his secretary and the former first lady’s best friend. Come to think of it, since she was Charlene Wilson’s friend, I was surprised she hadn’t already prejudged me … or maybe she had. Hell, I didn’t know who I could trust among those churchwomen, but I decided to take a chance on Sister Alison for the time being.

  “Well, have you told this man that you might be pregnant? He does have some say in this, doesn’t he? Maybe he’ll want to get married.”

  I shook my head vigorously. Up until Alison asked, I’d forgotten about what telling the bishop would mean, what it would do to him, what it would do to his life. It would possibly mean destroying him as a man of God, perhaps even destroying the church. But raising the baby on my own would be hard. Was I willing to sacrifice my way of life, and a child’s right to its father, just to save the bishop’s career?

  “So, are you going to tell him?” Alison pushed. “I don’t know,” I told her after considering it for a short time. “I just don’t know. He’s a pretty important man and I love him. I just don’t wanna ruin his life.”

  ALISON AND THE FIRST LADY

  I dropped off Monique at her car and headed straight for the cemetery. But when I got there, it took me a while to get out of my car. I sat behind the steering wheel, wondering how I could break this news to her. Of all the possible scenarios she and I had discussed before her death, a pregnancy never even entered our minds.

  When I finally stepped out and walked to the first lady’s gravesite, I paced around for a good five minutes without saying a word. Suddenly, a vision of Charlene seemed to appear out of nowhere. She wasn’t wearing the same beige-colored dress she always wore. She was wearing red—the devil’s colors. And I have to admit, it scared me. Did she already know? Lord knows I would do anything for Charlene, but what I’d heard from Monique was something I did not want to tell her.

  “I guess you’re wondering why I’m so quiet. Well, I’ve got some bad news … really bad news, and I just don’t know how to tell you.”

  I paced around for a few more seconds. All the while, I could hear her pleading with me to tell her what was going on. I tried to open my mouth, but the words wouldn’t come out, at least not at first.

  When I could finally form the words, I said, “I was on my way to the church this morning to open up the Sunday school when I saw Sister Monique pull into the pharmacy. I hadn’t seen her at Sunday services or around the church in a while, and I figured it would be good to get an update. She seemed to have dropped out of the race for the bishop’s heart, but you never know what a woman like her is doing behind the scenes.”

  I sat on the grass next to Charlene’s headstone and continued, plucking blades of grass nervously as I spoke. “I sat in my car in the parking lot for a while before I went into the pharmacy. I figured I’d casually bump into her and strike up a conversation, but I was totally unprepared for what I saw, Charlene.” I paused, pulling up larger clumps of grass as I tried to stir up the courage to finally drop the bomb. “Lord have mercy, Charlene. You’d never believe what that woman had in her hands. A pregnancy test!”

  I could just see the first lady’s face now. She would be angry, yes, probably fuming. But she’d be hurt too.

  “Well, you know from that point on, I had to find out whether the pregnancy test was hers or not, so I became Alison the church mother. I took her over to that little coffee shop over on Farmers Boulevard and listened to her spill her guts for close to two hours. That woman is so warped that she actually tried to convince me she’s not a tramp and hasn’t messed around with any of those men she’s rumored to have slept with. But you know I know the truth. You’re the one who told me about all those men she’d been with.”

  I stood up, brushed the blades of grass off my dress, and began pacing again. In the pharmacy when I first saw the pregnancy test, I had tried to convince myself that Monique and the bishop hadn’t really slept together and that Monique’s child was fathered by someone else. Unfortunately, by the time I finished talking to Monique that morning, I was pretty well convinced that Bishop T.K. Wilson was the man she believed was the father. And if Charlene were holding out any hope that the bishop hadn’t really been with Sister Monique, I would sadly have to burst that bubble now.

  “I’ll tell you something, Charlene. Sister Monique has brought one scenario into this whole thing that we never planned for, and that’s a baby. ‘Cause I’m telling you, that girl is pregnant.” I stared at her tombstone and heaved an apologetic sigh. “Not only is she pregnant, but I’m also sure she’s pregnant by the bishop.”

  I hated being the one to bring this terrible news to Charlene, but I had promised before her death that I would help orchestrate her husband’s courtships from behind the scenes and make sure he married the right woman. Even though we’d hit a serious bump in the road, I wasn’t about to step out of the driver’s seat now.

  “Charlene, what I need to know now is what you wanna do about it. We never wrote a letter for this.” I sat down again and waited for an answer that I knew would, realistically, never come from my friend. For the first time, we’d just have to let things take their natural course.

  24

  BISHOP

  It had been a very busy day, with a christening and a wedding ceremony to perform. Now I was at home, changing out of my suit and into a tuxedo for the awards ceremony hosted by the civic group 100 Black Men. I was supposed to be getting an award, but I’d much rather have stayed home to watch the big fight on HBO with James. Of course, I couldn’t admit that in front of my date.

  Lisa Mae was waiting for me downstairs, eager to get to the elegant affair. She looked beautiful in her evening gown, and I would be proud to have her by my side that night. We’d been dating a little more than three months, and this would be our first affair together outside of the church. At the church, however, she’d already been taking over some of the duties of a first lady. Not that I minded. She’d actually taken a lot of weight off my shoulders.

  The thing that bothered me, though, was that after all that time, we still hadn’t really gotten to know each other on a personal level. Oh, it was nice to have someone to accompany me to parties and events, and she was skilled at the art of public life. She knew just what to say to make people like her and feel good about themselves at the same time. This trait would serve her well if she did become the next first lady of First Jamaica Ministries—something I’d been giving a lot of thought to and something she seemed to be hinting at more often the past few weeks. But if we were really going to be together, it would be nice to spend an evening together, just the two of us. We hadn’t eaten a meal alone since our first date, when we went to the Olive Garden, and even then we’d had the scholarship committee playing chaperones, one or more of them passing by our table every few minutes under the pretense of heading to the restroom. It always seemed like someone from the church was hovering over us, or even more often, her friend Loretta. This was an issue I would have to discuss with her at some point soon, but tonight would once again have to be about our public courtship, not a private relationship.

  I slipped on my tie and jacket, then headed downstairs. Lisa Mae was sitting on the couch, talking to somebody on her cell phone. She hung up when I entered the room.

  “I just confirmed you to be on Channel Five’s Positively Black next Saturday at two o’clock. They’re going to be talking about church and the black family.” She beamed with pride, as if her announcement were as earth-shattering as perhaps discovering the cure for cancer.

  “Lisa, what did I tell you about scheduling things without me looking at my calendar first? I know I have things scheduled for Saturday.” It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be on the show; it was just that she
was making a habit out of scheduling my days.

  “Okay, T.K., calm down. I’ve already checked your calendar. You have only one christening on Saturday morning, and then you’re free to do the show that afternoon.” She placed a hand on her hip and gave me a look that said I shouldn’t have questioned her.

  It was moments like this that made me rethink my decision to start dating again so soon after my wife’s death.

  “Where’re you going?” she asked as I turned to walk away.

  “To the kitchen to get some aspirin.”

  “Well, don’t take too long. We wouldn’t want to be late.”

  “Yes, dear,” I said under my breath.

  I filled a glass with water, then swallowed the aspirin, hoping I’d taken it soon enough to avoid the headache that could surely ruin my night. Little did I know that the little spat I’d just had with Lisa was nothing compared to the stress I was about to endure. As I stood at the sink rubbing my temples, I heard a knock on the back door. I flipped on the outside light and peered out the window. I was shocked to see a frail semblance to Marlene.

  “Dear Lord.” I cracked the door. “Marlene? Is that you?”

  “Mmm-hmm. It’s me, Thomas Kelly. Can I come in?”

  I opened the door, stepping aside so she could enter. She looked so bad, I was almost afraid for her. And she smelled like she hadn’t bathed in weeks. The first thing I thought was that I wasn’t giving her any money. She could have something to eat, but I was not about to support the habit that was slowly destroying this once-beautiful woman.

  “Sit down at the table,” I said, trying to sound more concerned than disgusted. “Are you hungry?” I asked as she settled into a chair at the table. She nodded, and I went to the refrigerator to get the plate I had brought home from the wedding reception that afternoon. I removed the foil from the plate, and before I could even offer to heat it up, she said a quick “Thanks” and dug in. I went to get her a fork so she would stop eating with her hands. It bothered me to see her devouring the food like some sort of animal. The Marlene I once knew had too much dignity to act this way. She’d truly hit rock bottom.

  I watched her shovel in the food for a moment, then asked, “Why are you here, Marlene?”

  Without putting down the fork, she said, “Because I need your help, Thomas Kelly.”

  “I’m not giving you any money, Marlene, so you can just get that out of your mind right now.”

  “I don’t want any money, Thomas Kelly.” She finally stopped eating and looked at me. “I want you to help me get clean. The same way you got clean.” She sounded sincere, but I knew from past personal experience that crack addicts were some of the world’s best liars.

  “Are you for real? You want to get clean?”

  “Yes. I’m tired, Thomas Kelly. I can’t live like this anymore.” Tears rolled down her face, leaving streaks in the makeup and dirt on her cheeks.

  It had been decades since we were a couple, but I still felt protective of this woman who, at one time, was the love of my life. Ignoring her odor, I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in close. I kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay, Marlene. I’ll help you. It’s gonna be all right. Everything’s gonna be all right.”

  “T.K., what’s taking so—” Lisa Mae stopped in midsentence, her mouth still hanging open in shock when she walked in and saw me at the table with Marlene. “What’s going on in here? Who is that? And what is that smell?” She took a few steps back, fanning her nose with her hand.

  I released Marlene and stood up. “Lisa Mae, this is Marlene, the mother of my daughter, Tanisha.” I looked down at Marlene, almost wanting to apologize for what I was about to reveal. But Marlene’s appearance was so bad that her addiction couldn’t have been a secret anyway. “Marlene needs our help, Lisa. She’s been on crack, but she wants to get clean. I told her we’d help her.”

  A momentary look of disgust passed over Lisa’s face, but then she turned to Marlene and put on that smile she was so good at producing on demand. It might have been enough to fool the average person, but I had seen it often enough to know that beneath that smile she was seething.

  “Of course we can help her, T.K.,” she said a little too sweetly, “but not just now. We’ve got a dinner engagement. This is the 100 Black Men awards ceremony. They’re giving you the Preacher of the Year award. We can’t miss this.”

  She might have thought she was fooling me, but from the way she looked at Marlene, I could tell she really wanted to say, “We can’t miss this for some damn crackhead.”

  “I’m sorry, Thomas Kelly. I didn’t know you had plans.” Marlene shoved some food in her mouth, then stood and spoke with her mouth full. “I’ll come back another time.”

  “No, Marlene,” I insisted. If I let her out that door now, she might never come back again. I couldn’t miss this moment, this opportunity to help her get clean. “You don’t have to be sorry about anything. I can call my friend and have him accept my award. He’ll know what to tell them.”

  “You can’t do this, T.K.,” Lisa protested. “Not for a—”

  I knew it! She almost let her true feelings slip, but I cut her off before she could insult Marlene.

  “Lisa, this woman is my daughter’s mother. She’s family—unlike some other people in this room.” Part of me regretted hurting Lisa Mae with these words, but her lack of respect for Marlene made me angry. Crack addict or not, Marlene was still one of God’s children, still worthy of human compassion. No award on Earth could make me neglect my obligation as a man of God.

  Lisa Mae’s face turned crimson, and she took a step back, obviously shocked by my words. “I’m sorry, T.K. I … didn’t mean any harm. I was just trying to look out for you.” Unlike her fake smile from before, this apology was sincere.

  “I understand that, and I’m sorry for my harsh words, but Marlene needs help. I won’t turn my back on her, especially not at this critical point in her recovery.”

  “Look, why don’t we drop her off at Jamaica Hospital on our way to the ceremony?” she suggested. “They’ve got a detox program over there. Let the professionals handle this.”

  “Look, Lisa, I am a professional when it comes to this drug. I’ve helped people through this same situation dozens of times. Detox won’t help. If it could, then she could have detoxed at home. Getting clean is about wanting to be clean and putting God first. Now, Marlene and I have a lot of praying to do, so why don’t you take her upstairs and give her a bath? I’ll go find her some clean clothes and some Scriptures for her to read. It’s going to be a long night.”

  Lisa Mae grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the kitchen. In the hall outside the kitchen door, she protested, “I’m not going to give that woman a bath, T.K. That woman is disgusting. She might have AIDS or something. I can’t believe you even let her in your house.”

  Lisa Mae’s voice was loud enough for Marlene to hear every hurtful word. She was disgusted by Marlene, but personally, I found Lisa Mae’s uncharitable behavior to be far more offensive than Marlene’s appearance or her odor. I don’t know how I kept my composure when I spoke, but I did.

  “Maybe it’s best if you just take my car and go to the awards ceremony alone. We’ll talk in the morning.”

  “But … I can’t go alone.” She looked confused. Obviously she hadn’t expected any resistance from me. Well, it was time for Lisa Mae to get to know the real me. I was a man who took care of his family, who had devoted his life to taking care of God’s family.

  “I’m sorry, but God brought Marlene here to seek my help, Lisa Mae, and I will not turn my back when God calls. I can’t go with you, and you don’t seem to want to be here. My car keys are on the table next to the front door if you’d like to drive yourself to the ceremony. I’ll call James and ask him to take care of accepting the award.” I turned to go back into the kitchen, and moments later, I heard Lisa Mae slam the front door.

  25

  LISA

  I pulled into my driveway after the
awards ceremony, still fire-funky hot. I couldn’t believe that T.K. would choose to stay with that damn crackhead instead of coming to the awards ceremony with me. I’d never been so humiliated in my entire life. Everyone there was asking about him, including his little male-whore friend James. I couldn’t believe I had to watch him accept the award for T.K. All week I had been looking forward to T.K. getting up there to accept the award and acknowledging me so that everyone inside and outside the church would know that I was his woman.

  Loretta greeted me at the door with a smile. “Well? Does the entire world know that you are the future first lady of First Jamaica Ministries?” But her face fell quickly after the angry look I gave her. “What? What happened? What’s the matter?”

  “I don’t even want to talk about it,” I said angrily, slumping on the couch and punching the throw pillow next to me.

  “Lisa Mae, honey, what’s the matter? Don’t tell me he broke up with you.” Loretta sat next to me and placed a hand gently on my knee.

  I released a long, frustrated sigh. “No, he didn’t break up with me, but he didn’t go to the awards ceremony with me, either. All because of some stupid crackhead he had a baby with over twenty years ago.”

  Loretta stopped stroking her hand over my knee and stood up in front of me, arms folded and head cocked to the side. “Crackhead? Baby? What in the world are you talking about? Just get to the point.”

  “T.K.'s crackhead baby momma showed up at his house right before we were supposed to leave for the awards ceremony. Loretta, you should’ve seen her.” I shook my head as I recalled the image of this frightening woman sitting at my man’s kitchen table. “She was a hot mess. The woman was skin and bones, and she smelled so bad, I wanted to take a bath for her.”

  “Ugh!” Loretta’s face crinkled, and her nostrils flared as if she knew the smell I was talking about. “So, what was she doing there?”