She shook her head, trying to force out the words. “It was just like the others said.”
“They were driving him mad?”
“They must have been. By the time I wound up in his dreams, the dreams themselves were already…” She hesitated. “Strange. Wrong somehow. It’s one of the reasons that I never learned much about him besides his name. His mind wasn’t right and he was always on alert and each time I found myself there with him it got worse. The first time I ever saw the shadows was in his dreams. It was only after Lathan had found me and I’d fought one in the real world that I realized the shadows weren’t just a product of Calvin’s nightmares.”
“One thing still bothers me, though,” I said. “Why would the shadows injure him? If the whole goal is to drive the Dreamers mad in an attempt to control them, why risk damaging their bodies?”
Shay wrinkled her brow. “Maybe they didn’t mean to. Causing the Dreamers physical pain may be one of the tactics the shadows have always used to try to control them but now that they’re not being hidden like they were before, those injures aren’t healing before the Dreamers wake up.”
“So it could be unintentional,” I said. “The one flaw in their plan. The Dreamers are more exposed, leaving them alone and vulnerable, which is making them easier to find but it’s also making them easier to…”
“Kill,” Shay finished for me. “And whatever enchantment the shadows are using to sever our connection to the Dreamers is what’s keeping us alive even when our Dreamer has died.”
“We lost you.” Vogle was jogging back in our direction. “Come on, everyone’s back in the main square.”
Shay and I exchanged a look, both of us burying every word we’d said, and then we followed Vogle. When we reached the group, Domingo was shaking his head.
“I lost her,” he said, defeated.
I examined the bars and empty apartment buildings and even though I’d survived the morning and afternoon, every step reminded me of how exhausted I really was.
“I say we stake out this entire block,” Charles said. “She might spend the day somewhere else, looking for food or water, but she’s got to sleep sometime.”
“She’s probably hiding out.” Michael called Domingo over. “Tomorrow morning we’ll do a sweep of all of the abandoned structures in this area. Try and smoke her out of her nest. We’ll head out for now, come back before the sun comes up.”
“We should wait,” Charles said, a few others nodding with him.
“What did I just say?” Michael snapped. He gripped his neck, kneading it. “I just mean the girl could sense us. Maybe that’s why she keeps slipping away at the last second. We leave, let her think it’s safe to head back to her hiding spot, and then we find her.” He narrowed his eyes at Domingo. “I don’t want to lose this one.”
Vogle turned to me, lowering his voice. “We should get back.”
I nodded. “I know. I need to check on Bryn and make sure Dani’s alright.”
Shay, Domingo, and the rest of the group headed for the truck but we didn’t follow them.
“You coming?” Michael said, finally pulling himself away from examining the square.
“I don’t think so,” I said. “I need to get back.”
“We’ll meet you here in the morning,” Vogle said.
“Ah,” Michael sighed. “I see. Roman’s got to go check on Bryn and you’ve got to go check on whom exactly?”
Vogle clenched his fists, turned away. “I said I’ll be here but that’s all you’re getting from me.”
“All I’m getting?” Michael shook his head. “What about what you’re getting? Have you ever stopped to consider that? That maybe this isn’t about me but that it’s about you. About finally giving you somewhere to fucking belong.” Michael glanced back toward the truck. “We’re not some charity case. We’re your family whether you want to admit it or not.”
He turned to go and we watched the truck growl to life before pulling away.
“He’s kind of an asshole,” I said.
Vogle started for the main street. “Or maybe he’s right.”
I didn’t know what to say. Maybe Michael was right. I didn’t know what it was like to be without Bryn, to idle through life without the one person who was made for you. And I didn’t want to. Which is why, when we reached the bridge, I started to run, and I didn’t stop until I was panting outside her hotel room.
I stood there, listening for her on the other side of the door. Since I’d left her that morning I’d sent her a hundred messages but she hadn’t responded to a single one. Now I had to choose between knocking and angering her more or not knocking and driving myself mad with worry.
My ear was pressed to the seam and I heard the faintest exhale. I absorbed the rhythm, my own eyes fighting to stay open as my cheek brushed the cold door. And maybe because I was tired or maybe because I was afraid of what she’d say, I headed down the hall and back to my room.
Sleep came fast. I couldn’t even remember kicking off my shoes or climbing onto the bed before I closed my eyes and I was somewhere else. Air swirled around me, my shirt rippled against my skin. I pressed my hand to the tall sheet of glass in front of me as I stared down at the entire city below. It was dusk or dawn, I couldn’t tell, but streetlights were still glowing in the distance while the moon carved a thin sliver through the clouds.
“Your favorite.”
I turned and there was Bryn. She came to stand next to me, the cityscape glistening in her eyes. In this light her olive skin was copper, shadows streaking across her face and luring me in. It made my throat ache. It made all of me ache as if I was still watching her from beneath that streetlight the first night I’d landed in Germany. That same fear churned inside me as if she might walk away again and leave me here.
“Where are we?” I asked.
“I think this is the observatory.” With a hint of surprise in her voice, Bryn added, “I think I’m dreaming.”
“Are we?”
I was staring at her now, wishing night would fall, that the city would disappear, just for a second, just long enough for her to look back.
Instead of answering me she said, “Is it really you?”
The smallness of her voice knocked the air out of me.
“It’s me,” I promised.
She finally faced me, hands hovering at my chin, at my earlobe. She brushed my cheek and the breath she was taking tripped over her lips. “I thought you were in danger.”
“I know, I’m—”
“You should have called me.” Her voice was strained but not with anger. “You should have told me you were alright.”
“I’m sorry.” And I was.
“You should be.”
She reached, exploring me with her hands, her breath, the tip of her nose, making sure that I was real. Every touch sent a jolt of electricity down my spine until I had to hold onto her just to keep upright.
“Are you still with them?” she asked, lifting her face to mine.
“I’m back at the hotel.”
“To sleep?” she asked, sounding disappointed.
I nodded. “I almost knocked…”
“But you didn’t.”
I fidgeted. “I thought I heard someone sleeping.”
“Dani…” She looked down.
“How is she?”
“She’s been sleeping since we got back.”
We were both quiet for a long time and then I said, “She’ll be okay.” But I knew Bryn could tell I wasn’t sure.
When she sighed and said, “Yeah…” I could tell she wasn’t so sure either. “I didn’t thank you.” She chewed on her lip. “I should have. You…”
“Don’t,” I stopped her. “It’s okay.”
Bryn furrowed her brow. “Those people you were with. Who are they?”
I told her about Michael and the other Rogues.
She wrinkled her nose at the name. “Were they trying to be clever?”
“I think they were trying to b
e honest. Most of them went a little mad after…” I stopped.
“After their Dreamers died.”
I swallowed, tightening my grip around her.
“I’m not afraid of dying anymore,” she said, looking down again.
The words struck me. Suddenly she wasn’t afraid of dying and I’d never been more afraid of anything in my life.
“You should be,” I said, my tone more harsh than I’d meant it to be. But I needed her to be afraid. I needed her to be afraid of dying because I needed her to want to live. With me.
“But I’m not,” she said.
“But why?”
She blinked, lashes dipping against her cheeks for a long time. “Because I’m more afraid of what will happen if I don’t.”
I brushed back her hair, forcing her to look at me. “What is that supposed to mean?” Anger bubbled up inside me and I tried to push it back down.
Her face was still. “Whatever’s happening to me, whatever’s changing, it’s not getting stronger so that I can avoid traffic jams on my way downtown or so I can guess this week’s winning lottery numbers and become a millionaire. Seeing the future isn’t the point.”
“Then what is the point?” I asked.
“I was never meant to just see the future, Roman.” Bryn pressed her hand to the glass wall next to us until her knuckles were white, the pressure and the cold brushing her nails pink. She looked up at me. “I was meant to control it.” There was a crack, the glass splintering in slow crooked lines. They crossed and tangled and then the glass broke free, spilling over the edge of the building.
Wind cut through the empty space and I pulled Bryn away from the edge. My pulse surged, writhing against her closeness. Familiar like that morning when we’d faced the shadow. Together.
She looked up at me and I knew that she knew—what I was thinking, what I was feeling.
“And you,” she said. “You’re not just meant to protect me.”
She raised a hand and I did the same, our open palms hovering over each other. A thin line of blood pulsed through her skin from where the glass had cut her, carving down her wrist.
“I know,” I said.
“What did you feel,” she asked, “when I touched you?”
My mind raced, sifting through every brush of her skin, every kiss. The first time she took my hand in hers, leading me to my heartbeat. The first time we’d kissed as music and memories pulsed through my ears. The first time she saw me lying in that hospital bed, the air from her lungs waking me back into my body. That’s how she made me feel, how it felt to touch her. Like I was awake. Like I was a miracle. Like everything was.
But staring into her eyes as that current danced between our opened hands, I knew she meant how it had felt that morning, when her hand on my arm stalled gravity and unleashed this cosmic current that made me feel… “Immortal.”
“Are you?”
She smiled and I knew that if anything ever happened to that smile I would succeed where every other Rogue had failed. Because living a lifetime without Bryn wouldn’t be living at all. I would find a way to die, to be with her. I would. Because the truth was, whatever I’d felt rush through me when Bryn touched me in that abandoned shop, was the same thing I’d always felt. And looking at her now, I knew the same thing I’d always known—that we were made for each other. Not in the superficial way that soul mates can spot each other in a crowd. But in the way that one soul split in two will travel eons, endlessly, in pursuit of putting itself back together. Because when we’d touched I’d felt more than immortal. I’d felt more than awake. I’d felt whole.
She was eyeing me with a hint of sadness now, still waiting for an answer to her question. I angled my fingertips over hers, the pull growing stronger. And as I pressed our hands together, light igniting and pouring in every direction, I said, “Only when I’m with you.”
37
Bryn
“Bryn.”
I heard my name and I rolled, blankets twisted around my legs. I opened my eyes and saw Dani.
I shot up. “You’re awake?”
She nodded warily, still a little dazed. “How long have I been sleeping? Did I miss lunch?”
I blinked. “Lunch. Dinner.” I paused. “And breakfast.”
Her eyes widened. “What?” She sounded angry, which in Dani’s language meant she was afraid.
I lowered my voice, hoping she’d do the same. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not.” She swung her legs off the bed, dizzy.
“Slow down.”
“Slow down? If I was going any slower I’d be dead.”
I tensed and she saw it.
“What happened to me?” she said, her voice suddenly small.
The door pushed open and my mom froze in the middle of the room, my aunt almost running into her.
“Dani, you’re awake.” My aunt rushed over, pressing a hand to Dani’s forehead.
“I’m fine.” She shrugged her off, still stealing confused glances at me. “I feel fine.”
My aunt crossed her arms. “You haven’t eaten.”
It was something my grandmother would have said. I glanced in the corner and noticed that my grandmother’s bag of clothes was still gone. But then I remembered that I’d fallen asleep in her bed and realized that she’d probably slept across the hall so she wouldn’t wake me. Something I would have considered completely out of character under different circumstances.
It took half an hour to persuade Dani to shower and come down to the lobby for lunch. She wanted answers, I could see it. But I couldn’t give them to her while our moms were in the room. When we stepped out of the elevators and followed them to the dining area, my uncle already had two plates full of food. I searched for my grandmother near the buffet line but I didn’t see her.
“Hey,” I said to no one in particular. “Where’s…?”
But then Dani shrieked and I didn’t have time to finish my thought. She was paralyzed in the center of the lobby and when the small crowd waiting for the shuttle was gone, I saw why.
Felix was lugging his bag over his shoulder and scanning the room. He hadn’t seen her yet and she was rushing behind me, trying to hide her face.
“Oh, God. What is he doing here?”
I couldn’t tell if she was in a frenzy over him flying halfway across the world or if she was just panicking because he was about to see her without makeup on.
He spotted me and jogged toward us, almost knocking over the concierge who was asking for his room number.
“Bryn!”
He hugged me, and with his chin on my shoulder, I felt the moment he saw Dani. He let go of me, reaching for her.
“You said she was sleeping.” He was speaking as if she still was, the comment directed at me.
Dani was stiff-armed, her mouth hanging open.
“Well, she was…” I glanced down at my phone, checking the time. “How did you find a flight so fast?”
He shrugged. “I’ve got connections.”
I rolled my eyes but something about the way he said it made me wonder if it was true.
“Felix?” My aunt had her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed.
Felix held onto Dani as if she was some kind of shield. “Uh, hi Mrs. Romero. How goes things around here?”
“What are you doing here, Felix?”
He finally let go of Dani and she watched between parted fingers as he shifted his bag from shoulder to shoulder.
“Just…thought I’d stop by for a visit,” he said.
I wondered if he was trying to play it cool so that no one would suspect that something really was wrong with Dani or so that no one would suspect that he was pathetically whipped and couldn’t stand being away from his girlfriend for more than a week. Both, unfortunately, were probably true.
“Do your parents know you’re here?” my mom asked.
He nodded. “My dad asked if I’d bring him back some of those pointy wooden shoes.”
“Those are from Holland,�
� Dani said. “God, you’re an idiot.”
He looked at her bare face. “And you’re beautiful.”
The room swooned and Felix was invited to lunch with us.
Dani, Felix, and I were practically shoveling it in, our plates empty before my mom and my aunt even made it to the table. It wasn’t a conscious group effort and even though there was a different worry driving each of us we all knew there was no way we were going to sit through an hour of small talk about German architecture or the weather when we had much more important things to discuss like the dreams I’d been having and Dani almost dying and Roman…where was Roman?
“You know those sandwiches aren’t going to suddenly grow legs and run away, right?” My uncle held up a hand, lowering his voice. “Plus, I’ve been watching and they restock the buffet every half hour, in case that’s why you’re in such a hurry.”
“How many plates is that?” I asked, nodding to the one in front of him that was covered in nothing but meat.
He shrugged. “Four.”
Felix shoveled the last bite of food into his mouth and said between bites, “Well, I’m stuffed.”
“Yeah, me too,” Dani said, dramatically dropping her fork onto her plate. “Bryn.” She looked to me. “Shall we?”
“We shall.”
My uncle stopped me. “Uh, Bryn…”
I nodded for Felix and Dani to go ahead and I hung back in our booth.
“Is everything okay?” I asked.
“I just wanted to let you know I have to catch a flight home in about an hour.”
“What? Why?”
“Just…” He raked a hand across his scruff, “work stuff. I need to get back as soon as possible.”
“Oh…” He stood and so did I. “Well, are you coming back?”
“I’m not sure. It depends on how much longer you and your mom decide to stay.” He pulled me into the crook of his arm, mussing my hair. “But you know I wouldn’t abandon you two half way across the world. You want me on a plane back tomorrow just say the word.”
“Okay.” I hugged him. “Be safe. And…”
He raised an eyebrow. “Thank you for bringing Roman? Don’t mention it.”
The Girl In Between series: Books 1-4 Page 52