I smiled. “I love you.”
“I love you too, kiddo.”
Before I went back to my room, I stopped in front of Roman’s. I stood outside the door, listening and wondering if he remembered the dream we’d shared last night, part of me certain that he would. They were starting to feel even more real, if that was possible, and last night, our fingertips igniting sparks the second we’d touched, had felt more real than anything.
I knocked, waited. I listened for feet shuffling across the floor or the click of the handle but it was quiet.
“So, I’m guessing Roman’s still out playing superhero?” Dani said when I stepped back into the room alone.
“No one answered next door.”
“Have you tried calling him?” she asked.
I stepped to the window where the reception was strongest and dialed his number. He picked up on the first ring.
“Bryn, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just went by your room and…”
My cheeks were hot but I didn’t know why. Something about waking up this morning had made things feel...different somehow. Like last night wasn’t just some kind of dream but an introduction—to Roman, to me, to what we were together. Suddenly I was nervous.
“I’m on the tram,” he said. “I can turn around at the next stop if you need me.”
Yes, I wanted to say. I always need you. But for some reason now didn’t feel like the right time to be desperate. Roman sounded like he was on a mission and I wanted to know what it was.
“Why did you leave?” I asked.
“I’m on my way to meet Vogle and the others again.”
He didn’t mention the dream but I had to know.
“Did you…sleep well?” I asked.
“I remember, Bryn. Everything.”
I pressed my hand to the window, remembering what it had felt like last night—to be that high up, the glass splintering beneath my fingertips, to be staring into Roman’s eyes, all of that energy surging between us. There was a sharp prick as I stretched my palm flat and when I turned it over, I saw the thin beads of a scab.
“I remember too,” I said.
I heard the tram roll to a stop, the harsh squeal of the doors opening.
“I’m getting off,” he said. “Do you want me to come back?”
I wanted to say yes but even more than that I wished that Roman had taken me with him. There was an urgency in his voice that made it seem like he’d lived a lifetime in the past few days without me and that maybe it wasn’t long enough. Not for whatever he was still trying to figure out.
“What were you supposed to meet with them about?” I asked.
“They think there’s another one.”
“A Rogue?” I said.
“No. Someone like you.”
“In the city?”
“Yeah, we were supposed to search some abandoned apartment buildings downtown. They may have already found her.” I heard his footsteps quicken on the other end of the phone. “I’m heading back uptown.”
“No,” I stopped him. “It’s okay.”
“Are you sure?” he asked. “I felt bad about leaving this morning. I know it probably seems…strange.”
“What?” I said. “That you’re curious?”
“That I’m desperate.”
“Me too,” I finally said. “I know how you feel.”
“I just need to find out what they know. Everything they know.”
“Then go. I’ll be here.”
“How’s Dani?” he asked before I could say goodbye.
“She’s fine.” I glanced at her and Felix sitting on the bed, both of them staring at something on his phone. “She woke up this morning. Finally. And Felix is here.”
“He was worried,” Roman said, like he knew.
“He overreacted.”
“Impossible. He loves her. I’d do the same thing.” My cheeks were warm again. “And be honest, you’re glad he’s there,” he added.
“Relieved, actually.”
I let Roman think I was talking about Dani but really I was talking about everything. It was nice to have someone else who I didn’t have to bite my tongue around, especially since I had this feeling that if things got any stranger, Roman and I would need all the help we could get.
“I’m staying at the hospital tonight,” I said. “I told Dr. Banz I’d be there.”
“Then I’ll stay too,” Roman said. “I’ll meet you there as soon as I can.”
After I hung up I sat down on the bed across from Dani and Felix. He reached for her hand but she clutched the pillow next to her instead, pulling it into her lap. I thought her near death experience would have softened her a bit but apparently she was still more afraid of Felix’s offer to move in together than she was of dying.
“I’m ready,” Dani said. I wasn’t sure what she meant but then she tipped her chin and said, “For the truth.”
“Oh, that…” I looked down at my hands.
“Quit stalling,” she said. “I want to know what attacked me and I want to know now.”
“How did…?” I let the words trail off, still not ready to confirm her suspicion.
“Felix flew halfway around the world,” she said. “He knows something that I don’t and I’m guessing it’s pretty bad.”
I took a deep breath. “Do you remember when you found me that night after Felix asked you to prom?”
She nodded.
“Whatever attacked me that night, it attacked you too when we were out looking for Roman.”
“But…” She looked at Felix. “Why can’t I remember?”
“You can’t see them,” I said. “You’re not supposed to know they’re there.”
“But they can hurt me? Something I can’t see can hurt me?”
“You fell,” I said, trying to calm her. “That part was true.”
“How did I fall? When?”
“When it dropped you,” I said. “From the ceiling.”
She swallowed, her lips parted. “Was it trying to kill me?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t think so. It was…coming after me and you sort of just got in its way.”
“It was.” Her voice quaked.
“It might have been,” I said. “But then Roman…” I wasn’t sure how to explain the next part so I didn’t try. “He saved you.”
“And then I slept for almost two days.” She gripped her knees. “Why did I sleep for almost two days?” Her voice was desperate now, almost angry.
“I don’t know.”
“Am I like you now?” she asked. “Am I sick?” There were tears in her eyes.
“No.” I still didn’t understand what had happened to Dani or what was happening to her but I knew with an aching clarity that she wasn’t like me. And even though I was glad, for the first time, I was sad too.
“It was a freak accident,” Felix said, gripping her shoulders. “Nothing is going to hurt you.”
And just like that her tears were gone. Maybe Dani did trust Felix after all.
We spent the rest of the day methodically dissecting every strange occurrence Felix had missed while Dani obsessed over every ache and cough, searching for some kind of physical sign that she was dying. Luckily she didn’t find any. Nothing concrete, anyway.
Though she did still look a bit pale, the circles under her eyes darker and sinking into her cheeks. She still looked tired too and…I have to stop. Dani was fine. She is. Even if she wasn’t, one of us had to be the strong one and ever since we’d been born that person had been me.
“So, they’re sort of like a biker gang,” Felix said after I told him about the Rogues. “Hell’s Angels only literally.”
“I don’t think it’s quite like that.”
The way Roman had explained the strangers I’d seen in the street the morning Dani was attacked matched Felix’s assumption perfectly but they didn’t remind me of a biker gang as much as they reminded me of ghosts.
“Then more like a travelling circu
s,” Felix said. “What’s Roman’s super power? Melting the clothes off the audience. Or maybe just the female spectators’ underwear.”
Something like that, I almost said.
“Wow, someone’s got a guy crush,” Dani said.
“Hey, I am perfectly secure enough within my own masculinity that I can be honest when a guy is good looking.”
“Okay, enough drooling.”
“I don’t drool,” Felix said. “I pant. Very masculinely.”
Dani rolled her eyes.
“Well…?” Felix pressed.
“Oh, Roman? Apparently he can incinerate demons. Or…” I waved a hand. “Whatever those things are. We’re not quite sure but whenever the shadows are around he tends to turn into some kind of giant human flame.”
“Whoa, that’s fucking cool,” Felix said. “What about you? Can you do anything like that?”
I chewed on my lip, not sure if any of my theories about controlling the future would sound too ridiculous if I said them out loud. I thought back to the morning Dani was attacked and the moment I’d put my arm on Roman’s.
“I…help,” I said.
“That’s cool too,” Dani offered.
“Come on,” Felix said. “She’s just being modest.” His eyes gleamed with curiosity. “The whole reason you came here was to find out what was wrong with you. I’m not buying the whole side-kick thing.”
“Fine,” I said. “Maybe I’m not a side-kick.”
“That’s more like it.” He sat forward. “So…?”
“So…” I held out my hand, showing him the scar. “I had a dream that I cracked all of the windows on the Köln Triangle observation deck and when I woke up I still had the scar from where a piece of glass had cut me.”
He traced it, his thumbnail shaking. “Shit.”
I told him about the night I dreamed that I’d found Roman and how it was like I was in two places at once—my body in bed and some other part of me, some stronger, more malleable part of me was there in that abandoned house. He concocted theory after theory based off of every comic book he’d ever read until the sun was down and Dani was drifting off to sleep again.
He bent his knee and she shifted, waking.
“I’m not sleeping.” She yawned. “Promise.”
“Well, good because if you were you’d be missing all of these revolutionary discoveries we’ve been making about time travel and the human soul and…”
“What?” She cut Felix off, rubbing her eyes.
“Nothing.” I waved a hand and stood. It was getting late. “I’m going to sleep in the other room.” I nodded to Felix. “If anyone comes just throw on my pajamas and they’ll think it’s me.”
“Will do.”
I peered out, making sure the coast was clear, and then I headed for Roman’s room. I hadn’t been brave enough to use my uncle’s left over key fob earlier to let myself in but now I didn’t really have a choice. I knew he wasn’t there anyway but I still found myself taking slow steps toward the door.
My mom’s voice floated into the hall. “Is he out of his mind?”
I leaned toward her door and when I heard her say my uncle’s name I realized she was on the phone. He must have just landed back in Austin.
“What could he have possibly been looking for? First he calls out of the blue. It’s not like him. He’s never cared about Bryn being sick before and all of a sudden he wants to know about her treatment?” There was a pause. “How did he even know it was empty? You said he came in through the garage? Why wasn’t it locked?”
What?
“If the police would have interviewed any other neighbor besides Mrs. Doyle, who can’t see four inches in front of her face, they would have known it wasn’t you.”
My dad… My dad had been to our house? Inside it? He’d been asking about me? I couldn’t help but think of the last time I’d seen him, the vision of him with his face covered in blood. Then I thought of his truck twisted around a tree or crashed in a ditch.
“No, I don’t think he would have taken anything. Maybe he did want to see…” Her voice sharpened. “No. I’m not going to feel sorry for him. I won’t let him do this to her. Not again.” Another pause followed by another sigh. “Since when are you the soft one? Well, maybe I don’t care what she wants. No, no I don’t mean that, it’s just… Look I don’t want to deal with this right now.”
I inched closer to the door seam but then my mom lowered her voice until I couldn’t make out the words anymore. She mumbled something like goodbye and I heard the click of the bolt.
My mom stepped out of her room and I stopped short.
“Bryn, did you need something?”
I tucked the key fob behind my back. “No. Just—”
“Thought you’d give Dani and Felix some privacy?” she asked, eyeing the door.
“Well…”
“Just don’t give them too much.”
Yet another thing my grandmother would have said. Should have said. Suddenly her absence was grating on me.
“Mom, have you seen grandma? I feel like I haven’t seen her in days.”
My mom’s neck was suddenly white, the color spreading to her lips and then to her cheeks.
“Bryn.” The way she said my name it was almost a whisper.
“Sorry,” I said. “Is something wrong?”
“Why would you ask about your grandmother?”
“Because she’s been gone all day and—”
“Bryn.” My mom shook her head, confused almost to the point of tears. For a long time she just stared at me, the silence so thick I realized neither one of us was breathing. When air finally forced its way down to her lungs she said, “Your grandmother’s been gone for more than thirty years, Bryn. You’ve never even met her.”
I didn’t realize I was moving until I hit the wall, every ounce of blood in me rioting in my ears. Seconds passed or maybe minutes. My mom gripped my shoulders, hurt in her eyes.
“What?” I finally said.
She took my wrist, her hand just as cold and colorless as the rest of her. “Are you feeling okay, Bryn?” She cupped my face in her hand, fingers moving to check my forehead.
“I’m…”
“Maybe we should call Dr. Banz.”
Dr. Banz. I was supposed to stay at the hospital tonight. I glanced at the clock at the end of the hallway. It was already eleven. I reached for my phone next and noticed a few missed calls from Dr. Banz’s office.
“Bryn.” She reached for my hand. “Do you want me to take you?”
“Uh, no.” I shook my head, hard, pretending this moment was one of those crude drawings on an Etch-a-sketch. Like I could erase it somehow. Start over.
Unless I already had.
“But what you said…” My mom almost couldn’t get the words out. “About your grandmother. Where did that come from? Are you sure—?”
“I’m…I just…” I scrambled for an explanation, trying to hide my confusion because I could see how much pain it caused her. And if she was in this much pain just at the mention of my grandmother that meant that this was real. Real? But how? I didn’t have the answer but searching for it in my mom’s eyes was only making things worse. The last thing I needed was for her to panic and drive me straight to the hospital. I took a deep breath and it was like forcing down gasoline. “I had a dream about her last night. It was so…real.”
She looked at me for a long time and even though I didn’t think she believed me I could see that she was relieved I’d had the sense to lie for her sake.
“I’m just going to go to bed,” I said.
She nodded. “Let me know if you need anything. I’ll be up.”
I believed her. She’d looked tired before but I knew that wouldn’t matter now. I waited for her to go to her room and then I slipped into Roman’s. It was cold, the air left on, and it smelled like his hair and his mouth and suddenly I missed him.
I curled up in the bed that wasn’t made, pressing my face to his pillow, and watchin
g the door. I thought that maybe if I stared at it long enough he might walk through. It had worked when I was dreaming of the observation deck. It had worked the night I’d found Roman. And when I dreamt of my grandmother’s childhood home, of watching her mother be abducted by a stranger with eyes like stone, maybe it had worked then too. What if…?
I waited for Roman, whispering his name into the dark, calling him, begging until it was replaced by something else and the only words on my lips were…
What have I done?
What have I done?
38
Roman
Eight hours ago I was plucked from the dream with Bryn by bells and rattling and light. My hands had fumbled through the darkness for my phone, the screen ignited with a number I didn’t recognize.
When I’d answered it was Vogle and all he’d said was, “Roman, we’ve got a problem.”
What he really meant was that Michael and the other Rogues had a problem and that if we didn’t show up to help, they’d make it our problem too. They’d found Vogle hiding out in his office at the hospital, the gang of them barging right in early this morning. Well, what was left of them.
While everyone was sleeping last night, after two days of going non-stop, some of the Rogues had disappeared from the abandoned house. There’d been no tire tracks, no footprints, and everyone’s first instinct wasn’t that they’d wandered off or abandoned the Rogues, but that they’d been taken. Lured somewhere, maybe lost, and now the rest of us were trekking all across the city, not just searching for the girl anymore but the others.
Michael had barely spoken a word to me all day. They’d been up since before dawn searching every apartment and abandoned building only to turn up nothing and now they were back at square one, traversing the city on foot, navigating on hope alone.
Domingo and Shay were getting the brunt of Michael’s shit since their tracking abilities had turned up nothing. But there was a hard edge to Michael’s voice no matter who he spoke to, especially me, and it made me wonder if his voice had changed that morning when I’d showed up late or if it had changed before, in that moment he’d narrowed his eyes at me, senses still reeling from the blast, and said, “What are you?”
I still didn’t know the answer to that question and from the way everyone else in the group seemed to be keeping their distance, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
The Girl In Between series: Books 1-4 Page 53